# Anyone Up For A Doper Orgy?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 24, 2001, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942 "2001-06-24T05:06:47Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/41 "2001-06-26T13:50:12Z")

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Tygr staggers out the meeting room door, clad only in a towel and a light sheen of almond oil, and stumbles over to the bar. He downs three shots of single-malt and torches a cigarette before staggering to the other side of the clubhouse and crashing heavily on the couch. The Lady **Mermaid** appears in the doorway to the back room, sporting her own glistening sheen, an arched eyebrow, and a sly smile. Tygr looks at her, shakes his head in amazement, and takes another healthy drag.

Someone calls out from across the room, “Hey, Tygr, you know if you smoke afterwards, yer doing it too fast!”

“Dude, I wasn’t going too fast. I wasn’t even _driving_. I was just hanging on for dear life…”

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**Author:** ![reprise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ea666f/32.png) [@reprise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/reprise)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/42 "2001-06-26T14:01:27Z")

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I don’t suppose anyone can give me a lift to this here orgy.

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**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/43 "2001-06-26T14:43:02Z")

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Where to start, indeed…  
\< **ts** sees the small hands reaching around him and feels the soft caress of her hair as his shirt falls away\>

\<Turning in **Bunny** s embrace, facing her and breathing deep her scent, **think** eases the towel from between their two bodies\>

The warmth of **Bunny** s chest meets that of **think** s, skin on skin, and a light sigh escapes them both.

There he stands, staring down into **Bunny** s upturned gaze, lips slightly parted, eyes and pupils wide in excited anticipation, she stands on her tippy-toes, pressed ever-so-gently against him. They finish pulling **think** s cloths off and remain together. A new source of heat burns, rising slowly between them, tickling **Bunny** s tummy. She giggles nervously with bell-like laughter.

\<Leaning towards her, his lips just brush **Bunny** s forehead, **think** mouths some words and in a voice a full octave deeper than normal, he says:\>  
“I could stand here with you all day…the feeling of your heart beating and your breath on my skin…”

\<Instead, he lifts her up, his arms gently enfolding her as her legs wrap around his waist. He raises her body until her lips meet his, and then… just the slightest touch, a nibble, and he sets her on the couch, kneeing in front of her\>  
_ **to be continued…** _

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**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/44 "2001-06-26T15:28:24Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by katiekilldare \*  
> \*\*Oh my God, am I late? Where to jump in without imposing? \*\*

Well, there’s always this here closet… 😃

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**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/45 "2001-06-26T15:32:00Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Pammipoo \*  
> \*\*Damn…I really could use a good lay too…
> 
> 🙂 Anyone around Boston lookin to get lucky? \*\*

:: Having recovered somewhat, Tygr checks a map. ::

It appears that, if I left town immediately, I could make it to the greater Boston area by… hmmm, sometime tomorrow morning. No good, Tygr’s first rule is “Never keep a lady waiting.”

“Hello, travel agent? Need the earliest non-stop express flight to Bahston…”

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**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/46 "2001-06-26T15:48:37Z")

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**HOLY JESUS GOD!** :eek:

For the protection of the innocent (or the guilty, as the case may be :D), I’m taking my _real_ response to this to email.

But, here’s a cleaned-up version for y’all to enjoy:

**Mermaid** pounds on the door,"Hey, open up in there! We need the room…stop hogging everything…you’ve been in there 3 hours!

**ts** yells out “Hold on; almost done.” **ts** opens the door as wide as the smile on his face, **Bunny** thrown over his shoulder. Both are partially robed, sweaty and flushed.

**Mermaid** asks **Bunny** , “Why’s he carrying you like that?” **Bunny** replies, with a smile that looks like the cat that ate the canary, “Oooh, I’m having a little trouble walking; we’re gonna go sit in the hot tub”. **ts** ’s smile gets bigger and heads off to the Jacuzzi, **Bunny** in tow.

[sub]think, I see a future for you as a sweaty romance writer. I’m fanning myself here! [/sub]

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**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/47 "2001-06-26T15:48:43Z")

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Dammit.

(This is what happens when I’ve been spending too much time in the Iron Chef threads. I miss out on all of these threads.)

Got any room for someone who’s brought _homemade_ chocolate sauce?

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**Author:** ![JavaMaven1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/cab0a1/32.png) [@JavaMaven1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JavaMaven1)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/48 "2001-06-26T15:54:08Z")

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Dammit.

(This is what happens when I’ve been spending too much time in the Iron Chef threads. I miss out on all of these threads.)

Got any room for someone who’s brought _homemade_ chocolate sauce?

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**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/49 "2001-06-26T16:15:29Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Manservant Hecubus \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by katiekilldare \*  
> > \*\*Oh my God, am I late? Where to jump in without imposing? \*\*
> 
> Well, there’s always this here closet… 😃 \*\*

Hey, MH, maybe she’s just tired of waiting for you to come out of the closet…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![katiekilldare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/838e76/32.png) [@katiekilldare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/katiekilldare)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/50 "2001-06-26T16:24:17Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Manservant Hecubus \*  
> \*\*Well, there’s always this here closet… 😃 \*\*

::katie takes a quick look around the room, raps the secret knock on the closet door, and secures it behind her::

Well, hellO there!

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**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/51 "2001-06-26T16:53:38Z")

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You know, there are multiple reasons you should be afraid of joining me in the closet, young lady. I’m a bad, bad man 😉

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**Author:** ![porcupine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ac91a4/32.png) [@porcupine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/porcupine)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/52 "2001-06-26T17:12:03Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by thinksnow \*  
> [sup]Well, I tried. I didn’t try hard, but I tried.[/sup]  
> \<breaking out the almond oil\>  
> I believe we were going to investigate a massage, weren’t we, little **Bunny**?
> 
> [sub]With apologies to Porc…[/sub]

Sure, I’m out of town for a few days and you go and give _my_ massage to someone else.

::takes off towel, throws it at **thinksnow** , and walks away in disgust::

😃

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/53 "2001-06-26T17:15:01Z")

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So I guess asking you to join **Bunny** and I in the hottub is out?

Hmmm, well, I guess I’ll just rewrite that part, then…

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**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/54 "2001-06-26T17:46:03Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Sure, I’m out of town for a few days and you go and give my massage to someone else.

**Porc** , honey, don’t be upset. He’s man enough to share.

::stumbles out of hot tub, guides her arm around **Porc’s** waist and leads her to the tub, where **ts** sits in all his glory::

Here let me help you get out of those hot clothes;poor baby, you don’t look like you’re comfortable at all.

::lifts **Porc** ’s t-shirt over her head and reaches around her to undo her bra::

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/55 "2001-06-26T18:26:25Z")

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Tygr’s eyes threaten to pop out of his head. Okay, THERE’S one thing The Mermaid neglected to mention.

Umm, **Pammi**? Look, my dear, would it be at all possible for me to send my ticket to you and you come join me here? For some reason, I’m suddenly reluctant to leave… (Not that you wouldn’t be worth it… 😉 )

Um, **ts** , **BG** , and **porc**? If it’s alright with y’all, I’m gonna settle myself here on the far side of the gazebo as a third-… uh, _fourth_-party observer.

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**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/56 "2001-06-26T18:46:28Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Manservant Hecubus \*  
> \*\*You know, there are multiple reasons you should be afraid of joining me in the closet, young lady. I’m a bad, bad man 😉 \*\*

Yes, he is indeed. I’m quite worn out now.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Mr.Cynical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ee59a6/32.png) [@Mr.Cynical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Cynical)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/57 "2001-06-26T20:26:15Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Geobabe \*  
> \*\*
> 
> > [@](#):
> >
> > \*Originally posted by Manservant Hecubus \*  
> > \*\*You know, there are multiple reasons you should be afraid of joining me in the closet, young lady. I’m a bad, bad man 😉 \*\*
> 
> Yes, he is indeed. I’m quite worn out now. \*\*

And to think that all I used was my tongue.

The next question of the day: How many licks does it take to get to the middle of KatieKilldare?

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![thinksnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thinksnow/32/2849_2.png) [@thinksnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thinksnow)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/58 "2001-06-26T21:00:41Z")

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**thinksnow** sits, ironically enough, in a hot-tub, flanked on his left by the soft and cuddly **Bunny** and on his right by the surprisingly soft and cuddly **porcupine**. Across the way, and it is some distance as this is the mother of all hot-tubs (I think it was turned down by **Anthracite** as too big for her palace), sits a forlorn **Tygr** , seemingly spent and exhausted.

“Come join us, **Tygr** , this _is_ an orgy, after all. I’m expecting **Manservant** and **Geobabe** to join us any moment, you may as well slide on over.”

\<the girls find an interest in each others contours, the way people that have only just met can\>

\<Refueling with a refreshing umbrella drink, **ts** moves to the side, wondering where he can get some energy food (read: big fat steaks.)\>

“Say, is there a Chef in the house? I’d be _very_ grateful if she could find something to sate my appetite…”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![rayniday](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ecc23a/32.png) [@rayniday](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayniday)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/59 "2001-06-26T21:07:02Z")

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_rayniday opens the door, walks in, closes it, humming aimlessly. She looks around at the debauchery…_

Uhm…I think I walked into the wrong room…

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\
**Post date:** [June 26, 2001, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-up-for-a-doper-orgy/69942/60 "2001-06-26T22:06:03Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by thinksnow \*  
> **"Come join us, Tygr, this _is_ an orgy, after all. I’m expecting Manservant and Geobabe to join us any moment, you may as well slide on over."**

…and **thinksnow** moves to the top of my Favorites list! [sub](Nevermind, it’s a joke that’s so far inside, I’m not sure _I_ get it.)[/sub]

\<the girls find an interest in each others contours, the way people that have only just met can\>

Yes, well, **ts** yer handsome enough, I suppose, and while I am enjoying the visuals these two gorgeous ladies are providing…I know we just met and all, but howzabout you and I just exchange handshakes for the time being…

\<Refueling with a refreshing umbrella drink, **ts** moves to the side, wondering where he can get some energy food (read: big fat steaks.)\>

Okay, NOW yer talking. 'Course, since we are in the water, I’ll have to refrain for a half-hour afterwards from any vigorous activity.

But I think slow sensual activity would be just fine. \<Tygr casts an eye about for a lovely lady who might feel the same way.\>

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