# anyone wanna help out a newbie? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2000, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613 "2000-10-27T16:11:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![spedmonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@spedmonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spedmonk)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/1 "2000-10-27T16:11:25Z")
Hi everyone šŸ™‚ I have been lurking here for some time now, and have noticed that you guys like helping people out. So, here is a request for help. In my Systems Design class, we were just given a new project. > [@](#): > > MIS 323 Semester Project Case > Fall 2000 > > Phase 2 Requirements > > For Phase 2 of the semester project you will be designing a web site. Your team will select an e-business to model. This business should not be a retail sales business. Examples of candidate businesses would be those which sell non-retail items such as insurance or information (credit reports, survey results) or those which provide services (airline or hotel reservations, financial planning, banking). Meet with your team and make your selection within the next week. Please list more than one choice in order to avoid duplication with another team (the first team to select gets first choice ā€“ so donā€™t wait!) > > Deliverables for this phase are: > [LIST=1] > [li] **An interview with someone who works in the type of business you have selected.** [/li] > [li]A questionnaire for users of this type of business (you donā€™t need to take a survey, just develop the questionnaire).[/li] > [li]A statement of the business requirements.[/li] > [li]An Entity-Relationship Diagram to identify the data requirements for this system. This diagram should include identification of primary & foreign keys.[/li] > [li]A web site model.[/li] > [li]Pictures of some of the web pages. As a minimum your team will provide a home page and 2 other pages per team member.[/li] > [li]Logic models for the pages provided which will show the processing associated with each editable or clickable item on the page.[/li][/LIST=1] > Visible Analyst can be used for the ERD. The remaining items can be produced using any tools with which you are comfortable (Microsoft Word, Excel, PowerPoint, HTML etc.) > At the conclusion of this phase each team will be responsible for a presentation of 15-20 minutes. An effort should be made to ensure that each team member makes an equivalent contribution to the presentation. Presenters may use the overhead projector for transparencies. If a team wishes to make a PowerPoint presentation, projection systems for laptops are available from the Audiovisual Department. Please let me know in advance so I can call and authorize your use of the equipment. > > Presentations should cover the following topics: > [LIST=1] > [li]The business requirements as determined from your interview and other research.[/li] > [li]The web site model[/li] > [li]The web pages, both appearance and operation[/li][/LIST=1] As you can see, I have to interview someone who works in some kind of e-business that isnā€™t retail, and as I live in a relatively small town, there arenā€™t any businesses like that around here (that I know of anyway). So what I need is to find someone who is in this type of field to interview online or over the phone. The company does not have to be strictly online. Even if your company offers only some of its services online, and even if you are not involved in the online end of it, you are a candidate. I just need to ask questions about different business requirements, customer requirements, etc. I havenā€™t picked an industry yet, so anything is possible. So which of you intelligent, witty, savvy group wants to help a newbie out? šŸ˜ƒ _pretty, pretty please with cherries on top?_ Katie ---
**Author:** ![poohpah\_chalupa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/91b2a8/32.png) [@poohpah\_chalupa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/poohpah_chalupa)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/2 "2000-10-27T16:15:07Z")
Well, I canā€™t do a darn thing to help you in your endeavor, but let me be the first to extend you a hearty welcome to these parts and to remind you the the rookies have to buy the doughnuts. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![spedmonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@spedmonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spedmonk)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/3 "2000-10-27T16:18:00Z")
why thank you , poohpah! I love your username! Katie p.s. the doughnuts are on their way! ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/4 "2000-10-27T17:20:09Z")
Iā€™d help you if I could, sweetie, but I canā€™t so I wonā€™t. However, welcome to the board! I hope your stay here is as much fun for you as mine has been for me. Scotti ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/5 "2000-10-27T17:31:29Z")
Step into [my parlor](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=43863), said the spider to the flyā€¦ We could make this a mutually advantageous relationship. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/6 "2000-10-27T17:35:43Z")
Iā€™ll help you out, if I can. My email is in my profile, get in touch with me. ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/7 "2000-10-27T17:35:46Z")
Well, I work for an Incredibly Big Monstrosity, which invented the term eBusiness. We do a goodly amount of online stuff, both retail and not. Iā€™d be happy to help if youā€™d like. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/8 "2000-10-27T17:40:59Z")
No! Heā€™s (sheā€™s?) MINE! Think of itā€“being in on the ground floor of a new e-business. Your paper would have so much more deoth than one written about some EXISTING business! [sub]letā€™s see how big a sucker he is![/sub] Iā€™ll throw in **stock options!** ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/9 "2000-10-27T17:41:19Z")
Hi Katie, welcome to SDMB. I might be able to help you out in a pinch, but honestly I donā€™t think the business my company is in would be the type youā€™d be looking for. My company is a wholesale distributor, and I do a large portion of our web development along with other programming related tasks. We are primarily a brick-and-mortar business, with web ordering as a selling point, but it accounts for less than 1% of sales, and the actual look of our site it that of an unpolished retailer. The vast majority of our catalog doesnā€™t even have pictures or plain English descriptions (I donā€™t have time or product knowledge to do that kind of work and no one here wants to takes ownership of the project). I suspect youā€™d want to look at something a little more flashy. ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/10 "2000-10-27T17:47:51Z")
Wow, you got a bunch of responses while I was typing. Feel free to ignore me then. **dropzone** : Last time I checked, Katie was a girlā€™s name, but I could be wrong. I doubt the porn business is what she was looking for, though. Then again, Iā€™ve been wrong before. ---
**Author:** ![Gozu\_Tashoya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7993a0/32.png) [@Gozu\_Tashoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gozu_Tashoya)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/11 "2000-10-27T18:25:16Z")
Go to [http://www.xap.com](http://www.xap.com), check the company info and stuff at the bottom. I think itā€™d qualify. Just email anybody at the company - itā€™s a pretty laid back group. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/12 "2000-10-27T19:33:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by mrblue92 \* > \*\ ***dropzone** : Last time I checked, Katie was a girlā€™s name, but I could be wrong. I doubt the porn business is what she was looking for, though. Then again, Iā€™ve been wrong before. \*\* So I neglected to read her sig. You have neglected to read my thread, where I tell how I **am not** getting into pornography, but am instead getting into the less-sleazy-but-less-remunerative sleazy occult biz. So there. Anyway, with this crowd I wouldnā€™t put any money on someone calling theirself ā€œKatieā€ actually being a female. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/13 "2000-10-27T19:52:13Z")
Hi **spedmonk** I could help except for the fact that Iā€™m incredibly self-involved and I really donā€™t want to. Bite me, newbie. Iā€™m just kidding about that ā€œbite me, newbieā€ thing. And about not wanting to help. Truth is I donā€™t think I can help you. AT&T does do e-business, but Iā€™m not exactly sure what the hell my job is around here (and Iā€™ve been here over a year!) so I doubt I can answer questions about it. Anyway, welcome aboard. ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/14 "2000-10-27T20:31:10Z")
> [@](#): > > You have neglected to read my threadā€¦ Guilty as charged. I backed away from the thread immediately when the title came up. Please donā€™t put a curse on me. > [@](#): > > Anyway, with this crowd I wouldnā€™t put any money on someone calling theirself ā€œKatieā€ actually being a female. That may be, but youā€™ll hardly endear yourself to her using male pronouns if she is indeed female, as we are all hoping. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/15 "2000-10-27T21:09:58Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by mrblue92 \* \*\* > [@](#): > > Guilty as charged. I backed away from the thread immediately when the title came up.\*\* This is starting to look like one of **Coldfire** ā€™s Pit threads, but you didnā€™t even read the \ TITLE! > [@](#): > > ā€¦youā€™ll hardly endear yourself to her using male pronouns if she is indeed female, as we are all hoping. \*\* Valid point. So, **spedmonk** , are you going to back up your claims to femininity with nude photos? Since Iā€™m _not_ in the porn business, maybe you could sent them to **mrblue92**. :devilish ;0 : ---
**Author:** ![Necros](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/necros/32/11086_2.png) [@Necros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Necros)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/16 "2000-10-27T22:10:35Z")
Well, you know, some of us are actually trying to help because we want to help. Not so weā€™ll get nude photos. But because we want to assist the newbie with her project. Because we like to help. Because helping others is what lifeā€™s all about. . . . . . . . . . . . See how self-sacrificing I am? See how noble and altruistic? I should get some nude photos as a reward. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![spedmonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@spedmonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spedmonk)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2000, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/17 "2000-10-27T23:53:35Z")
WOW, lots of replys, you guys are great! šŸ˜ƒ first, I would like to clear up some confusion [LIST=1] [li]yes, I am a girl[/li][li]no, Iā€™m not going to do a porn site, sorry **dropzone** ;)[/li][li]there will be NO NUDIE PICS!!![/li][/LIST=1] I really appreciate all of the offers, suggestions, and welcomes, even the dirty-minded ones. **mouthbreather** , I sent you an email **Necros** , Iā€™m assuming you mean IBM, as in International Business Machines. That could definitely work, if I concentrated on just one division. What division are you in? **Crunchy Frog** , I totally thought you were serious when I read the first part of your post and LMAO when I scrolled down and saw the rest **mrblue92** , I appreciate the offer, but I canā€™t do a retail site. Thanks anyways! **Scotticher** , Thanks for the welcome! **KKBattousai** , Iā€™ll check out that site. Thanks! **dropzone** , I really donā€™t think the prof. would appreciate a sleazy business, but thank you for the offer. Besides, its a pretend company. There, I think I got everybody! Thank you so much you guys! Katie ---
**Author:** ![mrblue92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@mrblue92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrblue92)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/18 "2000-10-28T00:25:37Z")
> [@](#): > > but you didnā€™t even read the \ TITLE! I read it, but too quickly to see the ā€œnotā€. Hey, at least I admit it. > [@](#): > > So, spedmonk, are you going to back up your claims to femininity with nude photos? Since Iā€™m not in the porn business, maybe you could sent them to mrblue92. :devilish ;0 : Oh sure, really make me the bad guy now. > [@](#): > > I appreciate the offer, but I canā€™t do a retail site. Thanks anyways! Well, no, itā€™s not a retail site, itā€™s a wholesale distribution site. It just so happens that the actual transactional portion strongly resembles a retail site because we market to businesses. A large number of e-businesses use the ā€œshopping basketā€ approach. But all the same, since youā€™ve got some others here who might be more interesting, youā€™re probably better off interviewing them anyway. Hope to see you around the boards for more than just schoolwork. ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/19 "2000-10-28T09:12:13Z")
I donā€™t know shit from shinola about a website (other than how to type in the address of one), but I did want to welcome you to the SDMB! Nice name: two of my favorite posters here are named Kathi (Hi, **Guinastasia**!) and Kathryn (I adore you, **Medeaā€™s Child**!), so youā€™re in good company. Good luck with your projectā€“wish I knew enough to even begin to help you. But I think I speak for others in asking you to keep us posted on how it goes. ---
**Author:** ![Crunchy\_Frog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ebca7d/32.png) [@Crunchy\_Frog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crunchy_Frog)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2000, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613/20 "2000-10-28T15:00:47Z")
BTW - **spedmonk** - as a female newbie, you must first be [examined and pass a physical](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28363). And as you can see in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=28053) (my post is towards the bottom on page one) and in this [other thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=27158) nude pictures are a necessity. Iā€™m sure Iā€™ve told the newbies in other threads that they need to send me their nude pix (and somewhere is the link to the pix I sent Shayna, have no idea where though). Anyway, this is nothing new or personal. We just need to see your nekkid body. Themā€™s be the rules. I donā€™t make them up. šŸ˜ƒ BTW - you donā€™t have to feel obligated to post to the Newbie Check-In thread. Itā€™s old and doesnā€™t need to be brought back. In fact, I think itā€™s so old, itā€™s under my original username of BratMan007. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-wanna-help-out-a-newbie/38613.md?page=2)