# Anyone want to bitch about board speed now? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 23, 2004, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746 "2004-09-23T20:41:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/21 "2004-09-24T03:04:33Z")
> [@Fat Bald Guy](#): > > I got that too, for the very first time. Not only that, I had to re-submit my post THREE TIMES before the message went away. WOW!!! Ahhh, they’re 2004-style “Death Posts”. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/22 "2004-09-24T03:51:55Z")
!Fast too is it Time no I have to in order put right the words hamsters before them take away! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/23 "2004-09-24T04:40:56Z")
Hey, for awhile there it got so fast people were responding to posts before they were even made, but we were getting too many causality violations and Jerry had to drop us back down under lightspeed. “Aye, Cecil…she canna take much more o’ this! The server’ll melt if we don’t slow her down!” ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/24 "2004-09-24T04:49:44Z")
“Improbability factor five to one against and falling.” ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/25 "2004-09-24T04:56:59Z")
Oddly enough, I was just thinking of going and making myself a nice hot cup of tea. ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/26 "2004-09-24T05:18:51Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > Oddly enough, I was just thinking of going and making myself a nice hot cup of tea. You’ll invariably end up with somethinhg that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/27 "2004-09-24T05:26:46Z")
I’ll bitch about the board speed! It took me three seconds to load a thread today! [Homer]Three seconds? But I want it _noooow_![/Homer] ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/28 "2004-09-24T08:13:57Z")
Now you can all experience how good I’ve had it for a _year_! I work until midnight (central time), so I generally surf the Dope between the hours of 2 and 3:30ish am. Of course, now it’s even better, because I don’t have to stop when the boards go down for maintenance - they don’t go down at all! ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/29 "2004-09-24T08:21:45Z")
Seeing as how the old board’s nightly downtime came in the middle of the afternoon for me, I for one welcome our new hamster overlords. ---
**Author:** ![duffer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duffer/32/1026_2.png) [@duffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/duffer)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/30 "2004-09-24T08:27:44Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > I think an upsurge in members would be a goodthing. Wouldn’t it be better to have an upsurge **OF** members? 😉 **jenaroph** , that was great! ---
**Author:** ![Ilsa\_Lund](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a6a055/32.png) [@Ilsa\_Lund](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ilsa_Lund)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/31 "2004-09-24T08:48:49Z")
Cheetahs on crack? So they’re curled up in a ball in the alleyway of some subsaharan ghetto, trembling, wondering where the next hit is coming from? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/32 "2004-09-24T10:06:04Z")
> [@Ilsa\_Lund](#): > > Cheetahs on crack? So they’re curled up in a ball in the alleyway of some subsaharan ghetto, trembling, wondering where the next hit is coming from? 😃 Yeah, I’d’ve thought cheetas on _meth_ (or crank, if you prefer some alliteration) would be a more relevant metaphor. Of course, the increased speed of the board means you can immortalize your awkward OP even _faster!_ Just like the Max Power way! ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/33 "2004-09-24T17:53:39Z")
> [@Bryan Ekers](#): > > Yeah, I’d’ve thought cheetas on _meth_ (or crank, if you prefer some alliteration) would be a more relevant metaphor. Meth and crank ain’t very popular in Brooklyn. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BiblioCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@BiblioCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BiblioCat)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/34 "2004-09-24T18:31:58Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > Crack-using cheetahs are difficult to appreciate in the land of dial-up. At least the ‘cannot find server’ messages are far less frequent. 😉 Heck, I’m on dial-up, and the Board’s been unbelievably lickety-split fast for me. Pages load instantly. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/35 "2004-09-24T18:42:25Z")
I don’t know, guys. Back when the hamsters were powering the board, things may have been slow and unreliable, but at least you knew what to expect. But now that the board is powered by a cheetah on crack, what happens when he can’t get his fix? Huh, ya ever thought of that? ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/36 "2004-09-24T18:46:36Z")
> [@Ponder Stibbons](#): > > But now that the board is powered by a cheetah on crack, what happens when he can’t get his fix? Huh, ya ever thought of that? Spot on. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/37 "2004-09-24T20:00:38Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > [New hamster](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.muenster.org/la-nachwuchs/hamsterg.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.muenster.org/la-nachwuchs/hamsterg.html&h=390&w=571&sz=13&tbnid=yyrl2yprMCwJ:&tbnh=89&tbnw=130&start=60&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dhamster%26start%3D40%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26ie%3DUTF-8%26c2coff%3D1%26sa%3DN) Damned access restrictions at work…now they know what I’m up to! What’s the picture? What’s the picture! ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/38 "2004-09-24T20:03:11Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Damned access restrictions at work…now they know what I’m up to! What’s the picture? What’s the picture! An adorable hamster pumping iron. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/39 "2004-09-24T20:05:40Z")
> [@World Eater](#): > > An adorable hamster pumping iron. And looking rather buff doing it. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746/40 "2004-09-24T20:21:15Z")
Yeah, I didn’t mean to post the Google search link there, but since it showed the picture anyway, I didn’t bother correcting it. Try [this,](http://www.muenster.org/la-nachwuchs/hamsterg.html) it may work. I also found him [here,](http://www.cybersalt.org/cleanlaugh/hamsterburn.htm) but someone added an ugly “Feel the Burn” caption and the site spawns a couple of popups. 😃 He is awfully cute, isn’t he. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-bitch-about-board-speed-now/265746.md?page=3)