# Anyone want to give me some feedback on a sci-fi short story I wrote awhile back? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 2, 2006, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045 "2006-05-02T02:37:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/21 "2006-05-06T03:50:54Z")
I’m in. E-mail is in my profile. ---
**Author:** ![GIGObuster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gigobuster/32/421_2.png) [@GIGObuster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GIGObuster)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/22 "2006-05-06T04:18:48Z")
I like to check it too, BTW, I did like the beginning of your last script, did you finish it? ---
**Author:** ![hlanelee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3bc359/32.png) [@hlanelee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hlanelee)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/23 "2006-05-06T04:54:35Z")
I’m game…send it on. Write “Here’s my story!” in the subject so I won’t mistake it for spam. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2006, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/24 "2006-05-06T05:11:12Z")
I would be happy to read it and provide feedback. I am well verse in classic Space Opera, especially the Grand Master, EE ‘Doc’ Smith. I have a public Email. Jim ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2006, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/25 "2006-05-07T13:41:56Z")
I read it this morning, a good start. I’m sending an Email with more details. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/26 "2006-09-04T00:20:33Z")
I finished the story today if anyone is interested in reading the end or if anyone else wants to pick it up from the start. I must warn you about a couple of things: 1. It’s not edited. One of the reasons I let this thread die was because of bad writer’s block with regards to this particular story. Today I decided to stop editing myself and just get the story finished. 2. It’s supposed to evoke the “serial” style of classic Space Opera. If it feels like it jumps into the middle of a story, and ends while there still seems to be more to tell, that’s on purpose. I really appreciate all the responses I got the first time around! I’d love to hear more criticism, encouragement, reviews, whatever. That kind of stuff is a great motivator, sometimes even if it’s negative. Let me know when I send it if you’d prefer a word.doc or the body pasted into an email. Thanks again. ---
**Author:** ![Nic2004](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/4491bb/32.png) [@Nic2004](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nic2004)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/27 "2006-09-04T00:32:17Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] I finished the story today if anyone is interested in reading the end or if anyone else wants to pick it up from the start. I must warn you about a couple of things: 1. It’s not edited. One of the reasons I let this thread die was because of bad writer’s block with regards to this particular story. Today I decided to stop editing myself and just get the story finished. 2. It’s supposed to evoke the “serial” style of classic Space Opera. If it feels like it jumps into the middle of a story, and ends while there still seems to be more to tell, that’s on purpose. I really appreciate all the responses I got the first time around! I’d love to hear more criticism, encouragement, reviews, whatever. That kind of stuff is a great motivator, sometimes even if it’s negative. Let me know when I send it if you’d prefer a word.doc or the body pasted into an email. Thanks again. [/QUOTE] I was privledged to see the partial story the first time and would love to see where you’ve gone with it. My email is in my Profile. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/28 "2006-09-04T00:33:07Z")
[QUOTE=Cisco] I finished the story today if anyone is interested in reading the end or if anyone else wants to pick it up from the start. …snip… Let me know when I send it if you’d prefer a word.doc or the body pasted into an email. Thanks again. [/QUOTE] I would be happy to read the complete story in Word.doc format. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/29 "2006-09-04T00:39:38Z")
Thanks, I sent it to you guys when I ressurected the thread :D. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Cymbeline](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_cymbeline/32/9244_2.png) [@Green\_Cymbeline](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Cymbeline)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/30 "2006-09-04T02:17:30Z")
I’d love to read it! E-mail in my profile… ---
**Author:** ![Tully\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7ab992/32.png) [@Tully\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tully_Mars)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/31 "2006-09-04T02:25:11Z")
I would love to read it. I can’t promise any useful feedback, but I’m willing to be entertained for a little while. The email is in the profile. Put “Story” in the subject line so I can dinstinguish it from the pile of spam I’ve been getting. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/32 "2006-09-04T06:45:22Z")
I’d be glad to read it. Word format is fine for me (and e-mail is in my profile). ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/33 "2006-09-04T08:54:07Z")
Word is okay for me. I might be able to export it to HTML and email that form back to you if you want me to. (Or I might not. It depends on how much OpenOffice likes the documents your version of Word produces. BTW, which version are you using?) My email address is in my profile. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/34 "2006-09-04T14:40:06Z")
I like the story and the throwback feel of it, but it just feels too disjointed. I guess I ran into the writers block you mentioned. I Emailed you a much longer reply with my critiques. I hope you take it as constructive criticism and not as an offense. Good Luck, Jim ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/35 "2006-09-04T17:38:05Z")
Sent to all. Thanks for the feedback, What Exit?. I emailed you a response. Regarding the Serial style: I’m not necessarily going to write any more “episodes”, it’s just supposed to evoke the feel of when these stories were done like that. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2006, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/36 "2006-09-04T18:18:35Z")
I read the stuff all the time on the story sites. I’d love to read what you have. My profile has the e-mail address. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/37 "2006-09-05T03:01:20Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] I read the stuff all the time on the story sites. I’d love to read what you have. My profile has the e-mail address. [/QUOTE] Sent, let me know what you think. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/38 "2006-09-05T03:32:53Z")
I’ll read it. Email is deadlyaccurate at gmail ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/39 "2006-09-05T13:18:08Z")
Sent. I apologize if you get it twice, my email is acting weird. ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2006, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-give-me-some-feedback-on-a-sci-fi-short-story-i-wrote-awhile-back/355045/40 "2006-09-05T15:35:53Z")
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