# Anyone want to talk to PC remote virus detection techs? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 17, 2015, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203 "2015-03-17T15:16:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203/1 "2015-03-17T15:16:47Z")
You know, the kind who cold call to tell you that they have detected a virus on your computer. if you think it would be fun to talk to them, pm me ---
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203/2 "2015-03-17T15:20:01Z")
I tell them I don’t know why they’re calling me,I don’t have a computer… ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203/3 "2015-03-17T15:33:13Z")
I get enough calls from them on my own. When I do, I recycle every uninformed question and comment I heard working a help desk. And then I wind up by either telling them I’ve worked in an IS field for many years and there’s no way in god’s green earth they’re getting remote access to my computer, or I keep playing dumb and say, “I’m running an Apple…” ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203/4 "2015-03-17T15:43:08Z")
Just tell them you’re running a PDP-11, and you didn’t know those could get viruses. ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203/5 "2015-03-17T16:17:32Z")
I’ve never been so lucky (but then I don’t answer my home phone, there are a bunch of hangups there when someone does call so maybe I’m missing my opportunity. :() I’ve always wanted to use the bit I heard about when asking the caller (this was a supposed call to help desk) to open the window, the tech hears the phone being put down, footsteps & then when the caller picks it back up states that she opened the window as requested, but now it’s really cold. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2015, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203/6 "2015-03-17T20:55:40Z")
> [@PatriotX](#): > > You know, the kind who cold call to tell you that they have detected a virus on your computer. > > if you think it would be fun to talk to them, pm me I heve never had this iappen to me persoeally but since yooSDMB had a mantaince issue just the other day my speel chech isn’t working. Du you hive a nimber Y cold cawl. I thnk I hve a virs bec caus mi enriish not god. Thunk yoo vevy muuuuuch ---
**Author:** ![JerrySTL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e274bd/32.png) [@JerrySTL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JerrySTL)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203/7 "2015-03-18T15:36:51Z")
My daughter’s in-laws talked to them. They didn’t pay the money, but their computer was password protected at boot-up. As the family computer guy, it took me a day to use a Windows PE disc to get into the computer and use System Restore to get things back running. Then it took another day to remove all the other virus and malware stuff; install Microsoft Essentials to have some free virus protection; and do all the Microsoft updates that they ignored for a couple of years. They paid me in beer. Lots of very good beer. ---
**Author:** ![Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cabin_fever_1/32/2908_2.png) [@Cabin\_Fever\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cabin_Fever_1)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203/8 "2015-03-18T15:49:44Z")
> [@JerrySTL](#): > > My daughter’s in-laws talked to them. They didn’t pay the money, but their computer was password protected at boot-up. As the family computer guy, it took me a day to use a Windows PE disc to get into the computer and use System Restore to get things back running. > > Then it took another day to remove all the other virus and malware stuff; install Microsoft Essentials to have some free virus protection; and do all the Microsoft updates that they ignored for a couple of years. > > They paid me in beer. Lots of very good beer. Oh my. I feel your pain. This crap is a pain in the ass (as with any other type of scam). There have been times when I wanted to track down their asses and hijack their bank accounts and retire to Belize. Oh wait…I have already done that. Anyway…Thieves is the word. AND DON’T CLICK ON LINKS IN YOUR EMAILS MOM. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2015, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203/9 "2015-03-18T16:40:54Z")
I just pretend to be half-deaf and half-senile to get them to keep repeating stuff until I can find a big loud whistle. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [March 19, 2015, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203/10 "2015-03-19T18:46:42Z")
I just ask the scammer if his mother know’s he’s a thief and a swindler. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203/11 "2015-03-20T01:07:52Z")
> [@Mama\_Zappa](#): > > I just ask the scammer if his mother know’s he’s a thief and a swindler. I do this too! And I ask him for his mother’s phone number so I can call her up and rob her the way he’s robbing other people’s mothers. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2015, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anyone-want-to-talk-to-pc-remote-virus-detection-techs/715203/12 "2015-03-20T01:16:47Z")
(Thick foreign accent) “Hello, this is Christopher from technical support. We’ve detected a virus in your computer.” (Me) “Really? I’ll check it out immediately. Thanks for calling!” CLICK Most fun I’ve had on a phone call in years.