# Anything wrong with woman having a "Sugar Daddy" & giving "girlfriend experience" & sex etc? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 29, 2015, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anything-wrong-with-woman-having-a-sugar-daddy-giving-girlfriend-experience-sex-etc/726481 "2015-07-29T16:01:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2015, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anything-wrong-with-woman-having-a-sugar-daddy-giving-girlfriend-experience-sex-etc/726481/81 "2015-07-30T18:48:08Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > The word “relationship” has no place in arrangements like these. Using that word simply imports a bunch of inapplicable baggage from other aspects of our culture. I have to question this. Is it really possible for a woman (or a man if that’s the situation) who’s being “kept” to go out on dates with other men besides her “sugar daddy”? It seems to me most sugar daddies are going to object if she’s giving somebody else for free what he’s paying for. So you have a situation where you’re not in a relationship with one person but you’re not supposed to get into a relationship with anyone else. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2015, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anything-wrong-with-woman-having-a-sugar-daddy-giving-girlfriend-experience-sex-etc/726481/82 "2015-07-30T18:49:14Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > New category of porn in 3, 2, 1… Strangely, the titles would just be recycled. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2015, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anything-wrong-with-woman-having-a-sugar-daddy-giving-girlfriend-experience-sex-etc/726481/83 "2015-07-30T19:37:16Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I have to question this. Is it really possible for a woman (or a man if that’s the situation) who’s being “kept” to go out on dates with other men besides her “sugar daddy”? It seems to me most sugar daddies are going to object if she’s giving somebody else for free what he’s paying for. So you have a situation where you’re not in a relationship with one person but you’re not supposed to get into a relationship with anyone else. I can’t imagine I would care. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2015, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anything-wrong-with-woman-having-a-sugar-daddy-giving-girlfriend-experience-sex-etc/726481/84 "2015-07-30T19:48:26Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > I realize you’re mostly kidding, but you fell into the trap so many others in this thread have. > > It was actually simply “Your services are no longer needed by the company. Your last day is today. Here is your severance payment. Good luck.” > > The word “relationship” has no place in arrangements like these. Using that word simply imports a bunch of inapplicable baggage from other aspects of our culture. Isn’t the point of a “girlfriend experience” to in effect _simulate_ the concept of a relationship? If so, it is hardly surprising to see such concepts imported by observers - the danger being that the people _participating_ in the “girlfriend experience” import them - together with such inapplicable baggage as ‘emotions’. Indeed, I rather suspect most people will be _incapable_ of not importing such baggage, which is exactly why, for most people, participating in such a transaction would probably be undesireable. ---
**Author:** ![Habeed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a587f6/32.png) [@Habeed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Habeed)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anything-wrong-with-woman-having-a-sugar-daddy-giving-girlfriend-experience-sex-etc/726481/85 "2015-07-30T21:41:41Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I have to question this. Is it really possible for a woman (or a man if that’s the situation) who’s being “kept” to go out on dates with other men besides her “sugar daddy”? It seems to me most sugar daddies are going to object if she’s giving somebody else for free what he’s paying for. Only the really “high end sugar babies” offer this kind of service, from what I have read. What I have read, the average price paid is actually 3k a month for 2-3 nights a week. A classy sugar babe will turn off her phone during the time she spends with a particular daddy and won’t talk about the other men. Apparently, it’s normal for the babe to be seeing several other men - perhaps another paying gent and then a more physically attractive boyfriend or something. Basically, the closest analogy is it’s like timesharing a condo. When you timeshare a condo, you’re leasing access to a house located somewhere really nice that you wouldn’t want to pay the mortgage on. Many of the people who can afford timeshares _could_ pay the mortgage, but it’s a lot cheaper to timeshare. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anything-wrong-with-woman-having-a-sugar-daddy-giving-girlfriend-experience-sex-etc/726481/86 "2015-07-31T07:35:08Z")
> [@Habeed](#): > > Only the really “high end sugar babies” offer this kind of service, from what I have read. What I have read, the average price paid is actually 3k a month for 2-3 nights a week. A classy sugar babe will turn off her phone during the time she spends with a particular daddy and won’t talk about the other men. Apparently, it’s normal for the babe to be seeing several other men - perhaps another paying gent and then a more physically attractive boyfriend or something. > > Basically, the closest analogy is it’s like timesharing a condo. When you timeshare a condo, you’re leasing access to a house located somewhere really nice that you wouldn’t want to pay the mortgage on. Many of the people who can afford timeshares _could_ pay the mortgage, but it’s a lot cheaper to timeshare. Really? Because I thought exclusivity was the big division line. A woman who has sex with one man for “gifts” is a mistress. But if she’s having sex with more than one man for cash or gifts, she’s a prostitute. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 9:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anything-wrong-with-woman-having-a-sugar-daddy-giving-girlfriend-experience-sex-etc/726481/87 "2015-07-31T09:41:58Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > A “traditional” mistress relationship tends to be at least partially based on actual affection, rather than just money on one side and lust on the other. Sure, she might leave if the market crashes, but she didn’t go into it because you promised to buy her a new Ferrari every year. A “traditional” mistress usually doesn’t meet you at a convention or website specializing in paid-for sex/companionship. The relationship evolves “naturally” over time after you meet in a bar or whatever. At least, that is my understanding. I’ve never been in a relationship of that nature. > > I suppose the counter is that a sugar baby is just more up front about her expectations. I’ve never been in one of those relationships either, but I know a few girls who paid for college that way. Many mistress/concubine relationship are marriage in all but name, often because there was some impediment to marriage, like religious in compatability, professional bars, undissolved prior marriage, legal restrictions. . ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anything-wrong-with-woman-having-a-sugar-daddy-giving-girlfriend-experience-sex-etc/726481/88 "2015-07-31T13:15:57Z")
I don’t think you’d call that a “mistress” relationship. That’s a girlfriend. “Mistress” implies a woman on the side. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2015, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anything-wrong-with-woman-having-a-sugar-daddy-giving-girlfriend-experience-sex-etc/726481/89 "2015-07-31T15:04:55Z")
Having sugar daddies is – not surprisingly – not unheard of in Japan. It was more common during the bubble of the late 80s and early 90s, when people had more cash, of course. Almost always it was with married men, but there is a difference between the sugar babes and traditional mistresses which are usually more long term and have more emotional commitment. They have low end establishments which can be one-time tricks by college students or bored housewives but which can progress to a longer term paid relationship. One of the staples of Japanese society are the hostess clubs in which do not permit sex. It’s sort of a girlfriend experience of having a beautiful woman sit next to you, pour drinks for you and – most importantly – laugh at your jokes. At the high end of these establishment in Ginza or Roppongi, it can easily run into the hundred of dollars per guest per night, and can even go into the thousands. Again, the excesses in the bubble era sent a lot of yen into women’s hands then. As I was in business in Japan, I would go sometimes with clients or very occasionally with friends, but I didn’t really get into the paid part of it. The women in the higher end were great conversationalists could suspend reality with their apparent genuineness. Anyone who is that good at faking sincerity in a straightforward transaction deserves all the money they make, which is/was a lot. Lower down in the food chain were the places in Shinjuku or worse, the wilds of Kawasaki, were the places who had bored 20-year-olds who were probably cute by Japanese tastes. All they ever seemed to know how to do was to laugh at whatever you said, no matter how droll. > [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I have to question this. Is it really possible for a woman (or a man if that’s the situation) who’s being “kept” to go out on dates with other men besides her “sugar daddy”? It seems to me most sugar daddies are going to object if she’s giving somebody else for free what he’s paying for. So you have a situation where you’re not in a relationship with one person but you’re not supposed to get into a relationship with anyone else. One of my friend dated a sugar babe for a bit. They weren’t exclusive so he didn’t really care that she was seeing the guy (one of the key financial consultants to the Japanese government at the time, a household name) at first. He said that it didn’t bother him that the woman was having paid sex with the guy, but the relationship didn’t really progress. One of the problems was that her job was demanding. She had to drop everything with no notice, and while there are jobs such as doctors that have emergency calls, it did bother him that his date was suddenly off to a hotel room on a night they were supposed to be at his place. There was also the sense that my friend couldn’t really compete. How do you win against someone on the talking heads shows on Sunday mornings? Even though she would say that it was entirely financial, she also got a kick from the attention the daddy was giving her. I wonder if it’s easier for college kids to be sugar babes because the daddies are so much outside of reality for them that they can switch back to dating regular guys. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/anything-wrong-with-woman-having-a-sugar-daddy-giving-girlfriend-experience-sex-etc/726481.md?page=4)