# AP Headline Follies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 7, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579 "2005-01-07T15:59:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/1 "2005-01-07T15:59:03Z")
After seeing the alarming headline “TSUNAMI DEAD EXPECTED TO RISE” yesterday, I decided to go back and do a search of some of the wowsers I’ve encountered over the years: “Supermodel Heidi Klum Engaged to Seal” “Lynne Cheney and Granddaughters Top National Christmas Tree” “Rover Sends Photos From Mars” “Great White Attorney Says Singer Will Seek Immunity” “Malaysian Addicts Turn to Cow Dung” “Nurse Gives Birth to Baby After Being Stabbed with Needle” “Pope Sentenced to 20 Years in Prison” —Which begs the question, are they _trying_ to be funny, or are they just idiots? ---
**Author:** ![yellowval](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/919ad9/32.png) [@yellowval](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yellowval)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/2 "2005-01-07T16:05:05Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > “TSUNAMI DEAD EXPECTED TO RISE” I foresee a starring movie role for you in “Eve of the Dead.” ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/3 "2005-01-07T16:16:38Z")
“Press to Weigh Words More Carefully” ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/4 "2005-01-07T17:01:56Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > —Which begs the question, are they _trying_ to be funny, or are they just idiots? I worked at a newspaper for five years, and the only answer I can give is “A little from column A, and a little from column B”. ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/5 "2005-01-07T17:06:09Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > —Which begs the question, are they _trying_ to be funny, or are they just idiots? I always assumed that, like every other form of media, it was designed to sell more product. I figure they know exactly what they are doing. Whether it is funny or not is up to you. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b5ac83/32.png) [@The\_Mad\_Hermit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mad_Hermit)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/6 "2005-01-07T17:57:03Z")
It’s not just on the national level. A few years ago (I still have the paper) I read a local news roundup story about a car that was vandalized, as reported by the owner. The headline: “Man’s nuts loosened.” Leno’s Headlines bit is the only thing I watch Tonight for these days. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/7 "2005-01-07T18:28:20Z")
My favourite was in _The Link_, the independent student newspaper at Concordia University, describing yet another man appointed to an important administration position despite promises to deal with the gender imbalance in the admin: Vice Rector Services another male ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/8 "2005-01-07T18:31:42Z")
[Here’s a list](http://www.19.5degs.com/element/993.php), of which my favourite is Prostitutes Appeal to Pope. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/9 "2005-01-07T18:38:26Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > [Here’s a list](http://www.19.5degs.com/element/993.php), of which my favourite is Prostitutes Appeal to Pope. I have the _Columbia Journalism Reivew_’s compilation books “Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim” and “Red Tape Holds Up Bridge,” which contain a lot of these—worth looking for, and the CJR has very strict standards as far as “urban legend headlines.” ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/10 "2005-01-07T19:58:47Z")
I still have the article I clipped out of the South Bend _Tribune_ some years back: Mime Harrassment Claim Silenced by Court ---
**Author:** ![FatBaldGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@FatBaldGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FatBaldGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/11 "2005-01-07T20:26:34Z")
One of my favorites is from the local paper several years ago. **Police forced to shoot man with knife** ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/12 "2005-01-07T22:11:05Z")
I love this story on a few levels: [MTA driver in hospital after turban patch scuffle](http://www.nynewsday.com/news/local/transportation/nyc-turb0107,0,4334918.story?coll=nyc-homepage-breaking2)… Turban patch scuffle? _Is that an fast-paced Indian folk dance or a fight_? '_Mr. Sultana Freedman_’s name: _Kevin Harrington_ - I would have guessed ‘NYPD Catholic’ over ‘MTA Sihk’ any day. The [photo by Viorel Florescu](http://www.nynewsday.com/news/local/transportation/nyc-turbpix0106,0,5084652.photo?coll=nyc-homepage-breaking2): I’ve seen that face before (sans beard, turban and patch), I just can’t put my finger on it. As Cindy Adams would say: Only in New York kiddies, only in New York. ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/13 "2005-01-07T22:32:23Z")
One of the Texas dioceses of the Episcopal Church had a bishop whose surname was Pope. The man was very High Church and drawn to Catholicism – to which he converted (resigning his see), deconverted, and reconverted over the years. The local paper headlined the news as “Pope Becomes Catholic,” “Pope Leaves Catholic Church,” and “Pope Becomes Catholic Again.” Probably my favorite headline story of the whole lot is a true one that Barb and I were tangentially connected with. One of our fellow students at the community college we attended our freshman and sophomore years was a young man, Ron, who had attended Wadhams Hall Seminary to train for the priesthood and then had withdrawn from that school, deciding he didn’t have a vocation to the priesthood, and pursued secular studies. After graduation, he took a job as make-up man on the local daily paper, where he made up the sports pages and composed headlines for them. In the paper’s service area was the small-but-prestigious university located in Canton, county seat of neighboring St. Lawrence County, and named St. Lawrence University. SLU had a pretty good academic program, but in general had poor sports teams – in fact, discontinued intercollegiate football soon afterwards. But at the time Ron was working for the paper, SLU’s lackluster football team was in the process of running up a terrible run of losses. After one game in which they were hopelessly outclassed (there were Pop Warner teams that would outclass them!) and lost miserably, he couldn’t resist temptation any longer, and ran the great headline: [St. Lawrence Martyred on Gridiron](http://www.cin.org/saints/lawrence.html). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2005, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/14 "2005-01-07T23:07:00Z")
A few weeks or months after September 11, [Tampa Bay Online](http://www.tbo.com) ran a story in which part of the byline had somehow gotten appended to the headline. The result: **Bush Pledges Fight Against Evil AP White House Correspondent** I wish I still had the page saved. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/15 "2005-01-08T18:21:02Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > “TSUNAMI DEAD EXPECTED TO RISE” Oddly enough, also the cover story of the next issue of THE WATCHTOWER! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2005, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/16 "2005-01-08T19:16:58Z")
> [@The Mad Hermit](#): > > Leno’s Headlines bit is the only thing I watch Tonight for these days. Same here, even if he did steal it from Dave. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2005, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/ap-headline-follies/283579/17 "2005-01-08T20:43:50Z")
> [@jackelope](#): > > A few weeks or months after September 11, [Tampa Bay Online](http://www.tbo.com) ran a story in which part of the byline had somehow gotten appended to the headline. The result: > > **Bush Pledges Fight Against Evil AP White House Correspondent** > > I wish I still had the page saved. Bwah!! I wouldn’t doubt that some reporters must feel that way sometimes… (I’m not getting political here, just generalizing about Washington and the media in general).