# Apart from the dead body, I had a pretty quiet weekend. Howabout you? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 20, 2002, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993 "2002-05-20T20:38:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/1 "2002-05-20T20:38:04Z")
Saturday while walking my dogs down the bike path I spied a lone shoe poking out of the shrubbery lining the path. It was pointed skyward, suggesting that the sneakers occupant was still in residence and on his/her back, hopefully birdwatching. “Ah” I sighed, “I suppose I have some moral or perhaps societal obligation to investigate this”. So, reluctantly, I approached the footwear. “Oi! Hello? Are you okay in there? You need any help?” No response. Now, I should point out that the afformentioned patch of shrubbery is a well-known haven for transients, so odds were this wasn’t foul play any fouler than somebody who’d had too much malt liquer, thus I was a little reluctant to investigate. I tossed a few small pebbles into the bush. No response. I tossed a few larger, less polite sized rocks into the bush. No response. Finally, after a _really_ impolite sized rock didn’t produce any results, I nerved myself to venture in… “Still there?” _ **"YEEEEAH!!"** _ I was so focused on the Mystery Shrub Occupant that I failed to notice a middle-aged fellow walking a Cocker Spanial down the path behind me. Turns out he’d seen the shoe as well, and had decided that if it were still there he’d investigate. So, armed with a tree branch to part the bushes (and perhaps to club a beligerant drunk) I ventured in. Shirtless, unshaven man who resembled a less-healthy Iggy Pop. Chaming eggplant color. Strangly, he smelled like gumdrops! “Dead?” “I’m no authority, but I suspect so, yes.” I called back. “Perhaps I should take a look. I’m a doctor.” He tied up our dogs and ambled over. “Dead?” “As a door nail” he sighed. “Say, are you eating candy?” So, the Cocker Spanial guy called the police on his cell phone. As we were waiting I learned he wasn’t so much a doctor as a podiatrist (nice guy. He’s going to have a look at my dad’s corn tomorrow). Anyway, a police officer arrived, poked our purple friend with his flashlight, sniffed, and radioed for the coroner. Now, despite having pronounced dead by the combined authority of a cartoonist, a podiatrist and an officer of the law, dispatch still insisted on sending a team of paramedics, who arrived as we were finishing up our depositions. Using their refined medical expertise they determined that the empty bottles of licorice, peppermint and cinnamon schnapps a likely contributing factor to Shrub Guy’s demise. Honestly, I don’t know what’s sadder. Drinking yourself to death in a bush, or doing it with sickly sweet syrupy liquer. Apart from that I had a quiet weekend. _Clones_ was pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/2 "2002-05-20T20:53:46Z")
Let me be the first to say that I hope that’s the last dead body you’ll ever have to see. Thank goodness he wasn’t drinking something nasty-smelling, huh? ---
**Author:** ![EchoKitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@EchoKitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EchoKitty)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/3 "2002-05-20T21:03:04Z")
Bummer…did you get interviewed by the cops? ---
**Author:** ![LolaBaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d2c977/32.png) [@LolaBaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LolaBaby)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/4 "2002-05-20T21:04:08Z")
:eek: Glad to see you enjoyed Clones. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/5 "2002-05-20T21:22:02Z")
Wow…that’s got to be creepy. “I see dead people.” Jman ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/6 "2002-05-20T21:32:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by EchoKitty \* > \*\*Bummer…did you get interviewed by the cops? \*\* Only in a token way. The officer took our names and our story (I omitted the part about tossing the pebbles) and said that he might contact me again but it was pretty unlikely as the only suspicious thing about the victims death was the his choice of libation. ---
**Author:** ![rocking\_chair](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rocking_chair/32/2918_2.png) [@rocking\_chair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rocking_chair)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/7 "2002-05-20T22:48:41Z")
wow, you are a cartoonist?!? i am sooooo jealous. good on you for checking things out. i’m sure many people just walked on by and either didn’t notice or did nothing about it. did you see clones before or after the incident? ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/8 "2002-05-20T23:13:11Z")
Now _this_ has to be a conversation killer! “So, how was your day?” “Not bad. Threw rocks at a dead guy, saw a good movie. Yours?” “…” Heh! ---
**Author:** ![fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ba0ec/32.png) [@fish\_in\_the\_sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fish_in_the_sky)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2002, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/9 "2002-05-20T23:25:38Z")
jeezum god. And I thought it was gruesome when I found a mangled deer skelton last week. ---
**Author:** ![Nacho4Sara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Nacho4Sara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nacho4Sara)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/10 "2002-05-21T00:06:45Z")
That’s so cool! Not cool that the dude died, of course, but cool that you found a body. If I’m ever going to make it as a freelance Nacy Drew/Jessica Fletcher-style detective, I’m really going to have to start finding dead bodies. Sorry if it freaked you out, though. I think it’s cool, but I’m sure a lot of other people disagree. ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/11 "2002-05-21T01:41:03Z")
I had a college acquaintance who was semi obsessed with the idea that she would come across a half-buried leaf bag containing a human body part on the side of the road. As you may imagine, the fall was a very difficult season for her. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/12 "2002-05-21T02:13:12Z")
Well, look on the bright side, maybe you can work it into a future cartoon and then write off the whole afternoon and your Star Wars tickets. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/13 "2002-05-21T03:18:27Z")
\*\* > [@](#): > > “So, how was your day?” > > “Not bad. Threw rocks at a dead guy, saw a good movie. Yours?” > day?" \*\* Too Funny!! LMAO! ---
**Author:** ![DarkWriter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee59a6/32.png) [@DarkWriter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkWriter)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/14 "2002-05-21T04:01:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nacho4Sara \* > \*\*That’s so cool! Not cool that the dude died, of course, but cool that you found a body. If I’m ever going to make it as a freelance Nacy Drew/Jessica Fletcher-style detective, I’m really going to have to start finding dead bodies. > > Sorry if it freaked you out, though. I think it’s cool, but I’m sure a lot of other people disagree. \*\* I don’t disagree. I know just what you mean. Sheri ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/15 "2002-05-21T04:17:52Z")
OK, I know, I’m going STRAIGHT to hell, but that was the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time… ‘a cartoonist, a podiatrist and an officer of the law’… Bwahahahahahahahaha 😃 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/16 "2002-05-21T04:25:06Z")
Most interesting “Slice of Life” thread I’ve opened in a long, long while. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/17 "2002-05-21T04:28:17Z")
I found a dead body once… … …no I didn’t. I was just trying to fit in with the cool kids. :::hangs head in shame::: ---
**Author:** ![whitetho](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whitetho/32/1059_2.png) [@whitetho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whitetho)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/18 "2002-05-21T10:22:42Z")
**D.O.A** by Bloodrock, **Endless Sleep** by Jody Reynolds, **When I Die** by Motherload, **Doctor’s Orders** by Carol Douglas, and **The Last Farewell** by Roger Whittaker, **Silent Lucidity** by Queensrÿche. This _is_ another one of your one-hit wonders threads, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/19 "2002-05-21T13:04:53Z")
\*And the cartoonist pronounced him dead \* It has a certain flair to it… Your experience (thanks for sharing, btw, all that was missing was Scooby Doo!) makes me instantly think of \*Stand By Me \* and the quest for the dead body and the niggling question: Did the fat kid ever find his jar of nickels he hid under the porch? ---
**Author:** ![Inky\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7feea3/32.png) [@Inky\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inky_1)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2002, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993/20 "2002-05-21T13:13:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Shirley Ujest \* > \*\*\*And the cartoonist pronounced him dead \*\*\* Shirley, you rock! I was thinking of doing a cartoon about my little misadventure, you mind if I use that as the title? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apart-from-the-dead-body-i-had-a-pretty-quiet-weekend-howabout-you/109993.md?page=2)