# Aphrodite offers to set you with with an adoring hottie. There is, of course, a snag. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 21, 2011, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356 "2011-10-21T13:55:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nars\_Glinley](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nars_glinley/32/8177_2.png) [@Nars\_Glinley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nars_Glinley)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/41 "2011-10-21T19:42:21Z")
I’m not seeing the conundrum. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/42 "2011-10-21T19:54:04Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Skald, one reason I love your hypotheticals is the amazing length in which you go to set them up. No matter how crazy or weird, its always entertaining. Thanks! > [@](#): > > Anyways, I say “Thank you Aphrodite” and give my future wife a call I dunno. Even assuming that Aphrodite has no ulterior motives (which is what I believe, as she is after all a nitwit), I’d still have moral issues with sleeping with the hottie. > [@AHarris](#): > > Isn’t this basically how the Trojan War started? Not at all. The Trojan Was as the result of prolonged, subtle, devious plotting by the one true God, Athena, who had decided that Ilium and its topless towers must fall. Hera only THOUGHT she, Hera, was the author of their destruction. Aphrodite was merely a pawn in the Great One’s scheme. Priam and Hecuba totally had it coming, by the way. > [@](#): > > I have to agree with applecider about dealing with greek gods. I must ask you to qualify this slander, sir. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/43 "2011-10-21T19:57:06Z")
The deed is done. I call the lady. If it doesn’t work out (meaning, in this case, that I decide I don’t want to be with her), then she’s essentially no worse off then she would have been if I’d never called her. And perhaps my buddy **Skald** , with his various godly connections, can help me find a way to make sure the ex-husband never comes after me. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/44 "2011-10-21T20:41:52Z")
I studied Greek mythology extensively at school: no way do I even question her act. It’s done and that’s it. ---
**Author:** ![Covered\_In\_Bees](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7ab992/32.png) [@Covered\_In\_Bees](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Covered_In_Bees)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/45 "2011-10-21T20:55:43Z")
Spin-off thread [**here**](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=14382258#post14382258). ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/46 "2011-10-21T23:23:04Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > . . . shows you a picture of the most . . . devastatingly handsome man . . . you’ve ever seen. I find myself dwelling on this line, and having trouble getting past it. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/47 "2011-10-21T23:30:00Z")
I’d be more inclined to shoot what’s left of the poor woman in the head as a mercy killing than start up a relationship with a mind controlled sex slave. Or shoot myself and her at the same time, it’s safer than being the target of an Olympian’s anger. ---
**Author:** ![drastic\_quench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e36b37/32.png) [@drastic\_quench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drastic_quench)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/48 "2011-10-21T23:30:24Z")
Thank her, and try to entice her into a three way with my new wife. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/49 "2011-10-21T23:31:55Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > I’d be more inclined to shoot what’s left of the poor woman in the head as a mercy killing than start up a relationship with a mind controlled sex slave. Or shoot myself and her at the same time, it’s safer than being the target of an Olympian’s anger. What makes you think she won’t get her brother Hades to punish you further in the afterlife? ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/50 "2011-10-21T23:34:20Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > This is retardedly easy. I’d high five her and go have hot rabbit sex with my new guy. I agree with the esteemed lady from Elsewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/51 "2011-10-21T23:39:35Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > What makes you think she won’t get her brother Hades to punish you further in the afterlife? I have better odds with him since he isn’t _personally_ offended. And I’m not going to rape some poor woman just to make Aphrodite happy; and yes it would be rape. She’s no longer competent to consent. She’s only debatably even human after being turned into a meat puppet like that. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/52 "2011-10-21T23:42:27Z")
I would probably decline the offer, just because I’d worry about what would happen 10 years down the road if I got sick of the guy. If he’s going to love me “forever,” and I get sick of him \*\*before \*\*“forever,” I’d feel too obligated to stay with him until I died because of the circumstances of how the relationship formed. Even if I ended up hating his guts. Besides, I’m not monogamous, and I don’t think I’d be comfortable being non-monogamous with a guy who would never be content or happy with another man/woman besides me. Monogamy puts a lot of pressure on both parties to be “everything” for each other. I’m not ready to be anyone’s everything. Skald, you are totally what I imagine Neil Gaiman would be if he were a doper. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/53 "2011-10-21T23:45:16Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > I’d be more inclined to shoot what’s left of the poor woman in the head as a mercy killing than start up a relationship with a mind controlled sex slave. Or shoot myself and her at the same time, it’s safer than being the target of an Olympian’s anger. I do the evil here, **DT** , as you well know. There’s nothing to indicate that the woman is brain-dead. The phrase I wrotre was “[she’ll] never be happy or even content with anyone BUT you now.” That means the woman is no longer capable of being satisfied with any other lover, not that she is incapable of happiness alone. > [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > I have better odds with him since he isn’t _personally_ offended. And I’m not going to rape some poor woman just to make Aphrodite happy; and yes it would be rape. She’s no longer competent to consent. She’s only debatably even human after being turned into a meat puppet like that. I’m not sure rape is the right word, though my ethics still wouldn’t allow me to bop her. (That’s even when I have my evil hat on.) But I will point out that this woman is already in love with you in the scenario; and it’s somewhat likely that _everybody_ whose in love win a world where this happens is in that state because of the intervention of Aphrodite (or Eros). What makes her special? > [@YogSosoth](#): > > What makes you think she won’t get her brother Hades to punish you further in the afterlife? Madman! Aphrodite is not the sister of Hades; she was created from the foam that rose when Kronus hurled Uranus’ severed genitals into the ocean. So she might be his aunt (if you consider her a child of Uranus). I won’t address that ridiculous fairy that that she is the daughter of Zeus; that’s clearly ridiculous and was probably started by an Etruscan, damn their eyes. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/54 "2011-10-21T23:49:41Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > I would probably decline the offer, just because I’d worry about what would happen 10 years down the road if I got sick of the guy. If he’s going to love me “forever,” and I get sick of him \*\*before \*\*“forever,” I’d feel too obligated to stay with him until I died because of the circumstances of how the relationship formed. Even if I ended up hating his guts. > > Besides, I’m not monogamous, and I don’t think I’d be comfortable being non-monogamous with a guy who would never be content or happy with another man/woman besides me. Monogamy puts a lot of pressure on both parties to be “everything” for each other. I’m not ready to be anyone’s everything. > > Skald, you are totally what I imagine Neil Gaiman would be if he were a doper. Remind me to put you on the short list. ---
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2011, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/55 "2011-10-21T23:58:40Z")
I’d call the hottie and come clean about what happened to unburden my conscience. Since she’s perfect for me, she’d understand and still want to hook up with me. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/56 "2011-10-22T00:04:55Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > There’s nothing to indicate that the woman is brain-dead. The phrase I wrotre was “[she’ll] never be happy or even content with anyone BUT you now.” That means the woman is no longer capable of being satisfied with any other lover, not that she is incapable of happiness alone. A major chunk of her personality has been erased and replaced. She might not be brain dead, but she’s partially _mind_ dead. Sex with “her” would be something close to necrophilia. > [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > What makes her special? The fact that I _know_ that _she’s_ been converted to a meat puppet, pretty much a walking corpse that happens to still breathe. I know that there _is_ no “her” to have a relationship with, just a program that was crammed into the hole Aphrodite scooped out of her mind. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/57 "2011-10-22T00:09:51Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > A major chunk of her personality has been erased and replaced. She might not be brain dead, but she’s partially _mind_ dead. Sex with “her” would be something close to necrophilia. Okay, that’s _really_ overstating it. While I agree that the woman (or man, for our gay men & straight woman) has been wronged, as has his/her spouse, calling her mind-dead is just unsupportable. She’s assaulted, not murdered. And “partially dead” doesn’t mean much to me. > [@](#): > > The fact that I _know_ that _she’s_ been converted to a meat puppet, pretty much a walking corpse that happens to still breathe. I know that there _is_ no “her” to have a relationship with, just a program that was crammed into the hole Aphrodite scooped out of her mind. Where in the name of Pallas are you getting “meat puppet” from? DT, let’s say that you are the recipient of Aphrodite’s flighty largesse, and you decide to go to the woman and turn her down despite her protestations of love undying for you. After you leave her, a mugger accosts her on the street, steals her purse, and kills her when she resists. Is the mugger a murderer in your view? ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/58 "2011-10-22T00:33:39Z")
I’d sue her ass. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/59 "2011-10-22T00:59:33Z")
I wouldn’t do it. For one, who has ever heard of a story that goes “and then the Gods did so and so a favor and they lived happily ever after.” There is trouble around the bend. But most importantly, I really believe that love is a connection between human souls, and you can’t have that when one person has had that chunk of their soul hollowed out. I might as well be in love with a dildo. If everyone in love was in love because of Aphrodite? I might kill myself, or become a full-on hedonist for as long as I could and then kill myself. What’s the point when you know there is absolutely no free will or even a credible illusion of it? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2011, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356/60 "2011-10-22T01:25:05Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > DT, let’s say that you are the recipient of Aphrodite’s flighty largesse, and you decide to go to the woman and turn her down despite her protestations of love undying for you. After you leave her, a mugger accosts her on the street, steals her purse, and kills her when she resists. Is the mugger a murderer in your view? I’m not sure, debatably not. There isn’t much of her left for him to kill. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aphrodite-offers-to-set-you-with-with-an-adoring-hottie-there-is-of-course-a-snag/600356.md?page=4)