# Apocalypse **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 21, 2011, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apocalypse/582721 "2011-05-21T22:05:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apocalypse/582721/41 "2011-05-26T02:22:08Z")
Now ---
**Author:** ![Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stranger_On_A_Train)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apocalypse/582721/42 "2011-05-26T02:34:13Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > There would be no reason( and no way) for thousands of zombies to surround Costco before I could get there, and I have goods and skills that people already inside will want that they don’t already have. You think I’m joking, but I can’t think of a better place to head for if you plan on surviving. Costco is for amateurs. Sure, it seems defensible, but once the zombies breach your perimeter there is no place to hide. It is all right angles and straight lanes. The experienced survivalist will pick IKEA. With the bizarre variety of modular furniture and tapestries to construct barricades and traps, twisted and overlapping paths that would give Little Billy from _Family Circus_ vertigo, and a vast array of lighting and kitchen implements that are hazardous enough in their saleable configuration to be turned into medieval implements of hideous dismemberment and decapitation, IKEA offers nearly everything an unprepared victim of the zombie apocalypse requires, including a delicious plate of Swedish meatballs for only $3.99. Also, those five inch thick catalogs will keep you in toilet paper for years, which is actually an important consideration in the post-holocaust world. You don’t think about these things until you use of the last roll of Charmin that will ever be wound and realize that you’re going to spend the rest of your natural life with your left hand smelling literally like ass. Stranger ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apocalypse/582721/43 "2011-05-26T12:42:18Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Arrows and crossbow bolts are, to some extent, reusable. Talk to anybody who is into archery, though, and they’ll tell you that arrows and bolts get lost or damaged despite your best intentions and precautions. A couple other points about modern archery equipment: > > 1. Modern compound bows and crossbows require carbon fiber, aluminum, or kevlar arrows. Wooden shafts will shatter in the archer’s face. Making your own replacement arrows won’t be easy. > 2. Bowstrings have to be replaced periodically and restringing modern compound bows and crossbows requires some pretty impressive equipment. How many people do you know who own a hydraulic bow press? The strings themselves are not something that you are going to braid yourself out of native grasses, either. > > As far as guns that don’t require cartridges, I’d say your best bet is one of the [pre-charged pneumatic big bore airguns](http://www.pyramydair.com/cgi-bin/show.pl?cmd_category=show&category_id=123). These have useful levels of power, can be recharged from a handpump, and (hypothetically at least) one could cast one’s own projectiles from salvaged lead if one had the correct mold available. That’s why I like swords and spears. they don’t jam, no moving parts, and they do not need to be reloaded. I’ve got MRE’s, water and smokes. I’m heading for the pub. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apocalypse/582721/44 "2011-05-26T15:10:42Z")
> [@Stranger\_On\_A\_Train](#): > > Costco is for amateurs. Sure, it seems defensible, but once the zombies breach your perimeter there is no place to hide. It is all right angles and straight lanes. The experienced survivalist will pick IKEA. With the bizarre variety of modular furniture and tapestries to construct barricades and traps, twisted and overlapping paths that would give Little Billy from _Family Circus_ vertigo, and a vast array of lighting and kitchen implements that are hazardous enough in their saleable configuration to be turned into medieval implements of hideous dismemberment and decapitation, IKEA offers nearly everything an unprepared victim of the zombie apocalypse requires, including a delicious plate of Swedish meatballs for only $3.99. > > Also, those five inch thick catalogs will keep you in toilet paper for years, which is actually an important consideration in the post-holocaust world. You don’t think about these things until you use of the last roll of Charmin that will ever be wound and realize that you’re going to spend the rest of your natural life with your left hand smelling literally like ass. I’ll take the Costco kosher dogs and sausages over your Ikea "meat"balls any day of the week, dude. As for toilet paper supplies, I’ll be using this product they carry called…toilet paper. No zombie is going to breach that metal barrier, btw, so no worries there. Water supplies are no problemo-I live in Oregon, and Costco carries water filtration systems by the crate. I figure we would go through the parishables first(throwing as much as possible into the deep freeze to make it last, of course), then move on to the canned goods. The satellite system on the roof will allow communication with the outside world, and the attached gas station should supply enough electricity until we need to leave. Claustrophobia shouldn’t be a problem with that large flat roof to relax on. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apocalypse/582721/45 "2011-05-26T15:13:47Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > I’ll take the Costco kosher dogs and sausages over your Ikea "meat"balls any day of the week, dude. As for toilet paper supplies, I’ll be using this product they carry called…toilet paper. No zombie is going to breach that metal barrier, btw, so no worries there. Water supplies are no problemo-I live in Oregon, and Costco carries water filtration systems by the crate. I figure we would go through the parishables first(throwing as much as possible into the deep freeze to make it last, of course), then move on to the canned goods. The satellite system on the roof will allow communication with the outside world, and the attached gas station should supply enough electricity until we need to leave. Claustrophobia shouldn’t be a problem with that large flat roof to relax on. No a bad idea, you’ve got chairs, books and clothes as well. For the rare free time. ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apocalypse/582721/46 "2011-05-26T15:44:41Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > Campers make me laugh. > > . . . > > If you want to live, you need a realistic plan, you need tools and supplies, a place to settle, and you need other people. The killers and spoilers are going to gang up, I guarantee you. People who cooperate with each other and have the modern equivalent of a fortified village up and running will be the ones who live. The ones who thought they’d go it alone, whether by bugging out or bugging in, will be lucky if the zombies get them. Getting eaten alive will be over fairly quickly. Getting raped, tortured, and/or used as a slave goes on and on. You’re right but if you sit in your town you’ll die. Modern towns aren’t built to support growing crops or even deliver water without electricity. If you’re great plan is to sit at your house and build a consensus with your neighbors you will die of starvation or thirst long before anything else matters. Your first move needs to be to run to a place where there is naturally running water and a food supply. Around here the rivers a full of fish and with some purification you can drink out of them as well. In my county we’re looking at about 30 people per sq mile and a stream per sq mile is reasonable. Eventually you’re right you will need to band together with someone but getting away from the starving masses will be a higher priority. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apocalypse/582721/47 "2011-05-26T15:50:56Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > …Your first move needs to be to run to a place where there is naturally running water and a food supply… Again, the pub. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apocalypse/582721/48 "2011-05-26T16:08:19Z")
> [@Oredigger77](#): > > You’re right but if you sit in your town you’ll die. Modern towns aren’t built to support growing crops or even deliver water without electricity. If you’re great plan is to sit at your house and build a consensus with your neighbors you will die of starvation or thirst long before anything else matters. > > Your first move needs to be to run to a place where there is naturally running water and a food supply. Around here the rivers a full of fish and with some purification you can drink out of them as well. In my county we’re looking at about 30 people per sq mile and a stream per sq mile is reasonable. Eventually you’re right you will need to band together with someone but getting away from the starving masses will be a higher priority. That’s why I listed “a place to settle” among the requirements. I, as a recovering survivalist, once devoted spent a lot of time on this topic, though not in the context of a zombie plague. Ideally, you have the spot picked out in advance and already have recruited your people. At the first inkling of trouble, everybody makes their way to the rendezvous point. By the time things really start falling part, you should already be settled and ready to defend your compound. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apocalypse/582721.md?page=2)