# Apostrophe abuse **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 15, 2007, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060 "2007-01-15T13:50:25Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/1 "2007-01-15T13:50:25Z")
I know it’s been done to death, but Lord have mercy! First on one of the Law & Orders, they actually take the time to make a fake banner put up by a do-gooder character: **So-and-so Childrens’ Charity** Now I get an e-mail from Verizon which is presumably sent out to anyone who orders a shipment: **If you’d like to track the progress of your shipment via FedEx, you’ll find its’ current status at** It’s like they decide an apostrophe must go somewhere, and they just slap it on. Thank goodness for the [Apostrophe Protection Society](http://www.apostrophe.fsnet.co.uk/). And if you ever wondered about the apostrophe in Lands’ End: > [@](#): > > […a lot of people ask why](http://apostrophe-abuse.blogspot.com/) the apostrophe in Lands’ End is in the wrong place. There have been some silly explanations along the way, but the truth is, it was a mistake. > > It was a typo in our first printed piece, and we couldn’t afford to reprint and correct it. > > In the years since, the misplaced apostrophe has continued to grace our name and our label. And while it has prompted some raised eyebrows among English teachers, **it also sets us apart as a company whose continuing concern for what’s best for the customer is unmistakably human**. :rolleyes: Nice spin there, folks. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/2 "2007-01-15T14:01:00Z")
And don’t forget [Angloman](http://www.northguard.com/angloman/anglo.html), defender of oppressed apostrophes everywhere! ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2007, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/3 "2007-01-15T15:02:04Z")
[This says it’s a grammar quiz](http://www.gotoquiz.com/are_you_gooder_at_grammar), but most of it is really an apostrophe quiz. (Only thing that drives me nuts about this site is that it doesn’t display an answer key, so you can’t tell what you got wrong. Didn’t have that problem with this quiz, but there were a couple of others where I apparently missed one or two answers…) GT ---
**Author:** ![According\_to\_Pliny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@According\_to\_Pliny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/According_to_Pliny)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/4 "2007-01-16T00:49:14Z")
Walgreens dropped the apostrophe entirely. Macy\*s turned it into a star. And inside many of their stores they have a Mens department. But I actually think the world would be a better place if English simply eliminated the apostrophe entirely. It is, of course not used in speech. And yet we all know when we hear it whether the word is “it’s” or “its”. Therefore the apostrophe is an anachronism, like capitalizing the days of the week, and similar useless conventions. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/5 "2007-01-16T01:50:12Z")
[QUOTE=According to Pliny] Walgreens dropped the apostrophe entirely. Macy\*s turned it into a star. And inside many of their stores they have a Mens department. But I actually think the world would be a better place if English simply eliminated the apostrophe entirely. It is, of course not used in speech. And yet we all know when we hear it whether the word is “it’s” or “its”. Therefore the apostrophe is an anachronism, like capitalizing the days of the week, and similar useless conventions. [/QUOTE] Punctuanarchist. It’s not like the rules are that hard to learn. It’s just that too many people are too damn lazy to learn them. ---
**Author:** ![hajario](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hajario/32/171_2.png) [@hajario](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hajario)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/6 "2007-01-16T02:07:17Z")
I have reported here before about the worst use of an apostrophe that I have ever seen in the wild. Charles, one of my co-workers, was ill with the flu and had to miss work. His supervisor sent out an email to inform us of this. The email read: > [@](#): > > Charle’s is home sick today. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/7 "2007-01-16T02:20:39Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Punctuanarchist. [/QUOTE] I am going to have to tell **Spoons** about this. For years, ever since we worked together as writers, we have had a collection of grammatical superheroes: Conan the Grammarian, his sidekick Punctuation Boy, and their ally Scansion Girl. I believe I have just discovered their arch-enemy. 🙂 “Quick, Punctuation Boy! To the Grammarmobile!” “What is it now, Conan?” “Someone is threatening the stability of the city’s punctuation supply! Serial commas have broken loose, apostrophes are mutating, and the hospitals are reporting a rash of irregular periods.” “You don’t mean…” “Yes. It’s _The Punctuanarchist_.” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/8 "2007-01-16T05:12:17Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] I am going to have to tell **Spoons** about this. For years, ever since we worked together as writers, we have had a collection of grammatical superheroes: Conan the Grammarian, his sidekick Punctuation Boy, and their ally Scansion Girl. [/quote] We did have some fun with that, didn’t we? “Conan, what happened to the Infinitive?” “He had to split.” > [@](#): > > “Yes. It’s _The Punctuanarchist_.” **Sunspace** , I think we’ve found a new villain! To add to the thread, I’ll mention what I once saw in a neighbourhood barber shop: “Ladie’s Hair Cut.” I cringed. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/9 "2007-01-16T06:29:13Z")
And then there’s the tv show \*'Til Death, \*that uses an open quote, rather than an apostrophe. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/10 "2007-01-16T14:09:00Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] And then there’s the tv show \*'Til Death, \*that uses an open quote, rather than an apostrophe. [/QUOTE] :eek: I hadn’t noticed that. I forgot my other favorite, when someone pays for a lovely hand-painted sign outside their home: **The Smith’s** Apparently only one of the family members can claim ownership. [QUOTE=According to Pliny] And yet we all know when we hear it whether the word is “it’s” or “its”. [/QUOTE] And yet, when we write down what we hear in our heads, it often comes out wrong. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/11 "2007-01-16T14:18:20Z")
Years ago in Des Moines I used to pass by **THE JOHN ROBERT’S STUDIO.** I never did find out whether his name was John Roberts, John Robert, or possibly _The_ John Robert. ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/12 "2007-01-16T23:10:47Z")
[QUOTE=panache45] And then there’s the tv show \*'Til Death, \*that uses an open quote, rather than an apostrophe. [/QUOTE] I see that as an apostrophe, taking the place of ‘un’ (until). ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/13 "2007-01-16T23:21:42Z")
[QUOTE=Sunspace] I am going to have to tell **Spoons** about this. For years, ever since we worked together as writers, we have had a collection of grammatical superheroes: Conan the Grammarian, his sidekick Punctuation Boy, and their ally Scansion Girl. I believe I have just discovered their arch-enemy. 🙂 “Quick, Punctuation Boy! To the Grammarmobile!” “What is it now, Conan?” “Someone is threatening the stability of the city’s punctuation supply! Serial commas have broken loose, apostrophes are mutating, and the hospitals are reporting a rash of irregular periods.” “You don’t mean…” “Yes. It’s _The Punctuanarchist_.” [/QUOTE] “And who’s that with him?” “Dear god! It’s…” (in unison) “Schwa!” “Alright, Punctuation Boy, let’s go dangle their participles.” Ooh! I smell a DC serial. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/14 "2007-01-16T23:27:53Z")
[QUOTE=jabiru] I see that as an apostrophe, taking the place of ‘un’ (until). [/QUOTE] " 'Til " is a fine word, it’s just that the folks at Fox use the wrong punctuation mark: [http://www.fox.com/tildeath/](http://www.fox.com/tildeath/) ---
**Author:** ![jabiru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@jabiru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabiru)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2007, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/15 "2007-01-16T23:42:33Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] " 'Til " is a fine word, it’s just that the folks at Fox use the wrong punctuation mark: [http://www.fox.com/tildeath/](http://www.fox.com/tildeath/) [/QUOTE] Thanks for the link. I hadn’t seen that before. Idiots. (Fox, not present company) ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/16 "2007-01-17T01:27:30Z")
[QUOTE=Mindfield] Ooh! I smell a DC serial. [/QUOTE] Of course, if we do have a comic, it’s important that our heroes never get dates with Noun girls. But the Verb girls will always be happy to date our heroes. Why? Well, verbs conjugate. Nouns decline. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/17 "2007-01-17T02:50:08Z")
[QUOTE=Spoons] Of course, if we do have a comic, it’s important that our heroes never get dates with Noun girls. But the Verb girls will always be happy to date our heroes. Why? Well, verbs conjugate. Nouns decline. 😃 [/QUOTE] But we get kind of tense beforehand. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/18 "2007-01-17T02:53:33Z")
[QUOTE=gigi] " 'Til " is a fine word, it’s just that the folks at Fox use the wrong punctuation mark: [http://www.fox.com/tildeath/](http://www.fox.com/tildeath/) [/QUOTE] Great Scott! It’s… it’s… a backwards raised comma! Time to call in Editrix. _She’ll_ whip them into shape. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/19 "2007-01-17T03:48:47Z")
so long as no one abuses the colon, I can deal with the aposterphe 'buse. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2007, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060/20 "2007-01-17T04:01:47Z")
[QUOTE=simster] so long as no one abuses the colon, I can deal with the aposterphe 'buse. [/QUOTE] Yes. An inflamed colon is no laughing matter. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apostrophe-abuse/388060.md?page=2)