# Apparently, I AM a terrorist... (airplane rant) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 11, 2002, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131 "2002-12-11T23:17:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dravin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/da6949/32.png) [@Dravin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dravin)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/21 "2002-12-12T01:13:34Z")
I got my bag searched when I moved down to Boise; apparently a Red headed (I didn’t even have my beard at the time) freckled fish belly pale guy taking a flight out of Alaska fits the profile. I really didn’t mind much except it took forever, that and there was this little old lady with broken English who kept on complaing that she was American and shouldn’t have to be searched, meanwhile I’m standing in line to be wanded and have my carry on searched thinking, "Yeah so am I, shut the fuck up already! Of course the scariest thing was I easily could have smuggled a bomb the size of a shoebox onto the plane if I was so inclined, apparently if an object is wrapped tightly enough with shirts that the one doing the searching has trouble removing the shirts to see the square object underneath then it can’t possibly be a bomb. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/22 "2002-12-12T01:50:16Z")
Earlier this week, I met a stunningly attractive woman married to a US serviceman and living on one of the bases around Tokyo. She mentioned that she gets stopped and searched by the gate guards at least once a week, while her co-workers haven’t been stopped once. Now I understand. If I see her again, I’ll mention this thread to her. ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/23 "2002-12-12T01:57:47Z")
Maybe the NTSB took a cue from Israel’s system. Look Middle Eastern? El Al will practically wave you through. Blond woman? Well…what have we HERE? Time for a full body search! This is based on the idea that: you’re a sneaky Arab terrorist. You want to blow up a plane. Hey! Why don’t we get that blond chick to carry a bomb for us? No one will suspect her! In 1986, a Jordanian planted a bomb on his pregnant Irish girlfriend, who was trying to fly from Israel to Britain. So it’s not like this is a purely hypothetical situation. ---
**Author:** ![tramp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tramp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tramp)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/24 "2002-12-12T02:00:12Z")
I am a blonde, 20 something who also gets frisked. I think the guys in the security like feeling me up. ---
**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/25 "2002-12-12T02:29:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BIG\_DADDY \* > \*\*Ferret, > > I am not saying that we should drop our security I am saying if the guy looks like a potential terrorist he should be searched extra well. Works for Israel, it will work for us. Your telling me that scumbag John Walker Lindh or that shoe bomber wouldn’t have been picked out of a croud. I beg to differ. Truth is that 99% of terrorist acts are commited by young middle eastern men and they should be consistantly searched. \*\* [hijack] I realize that people who say things like this really believe they are being 100% reasonable, and I agree there is a certain amount of truth in what you say. However, there is more than just a war on terror at stake here. You are talking about causing discomfort to thousands of American citizens and residents simply based on their appearance. One thing that is supposedly valued above all else in our country is _fairness_. And it is not fair to search only people who you personally think “look” like a terrorist (nor is it particularly thorough). It is easy to stand by and say that only people who look Middle-Eastern ought to get searched when you don’t look Middle-Eastern yourself. Put yourself in their shoes and take one for the team. 9/11 effected everyone, not just people who “don’t look like terrorists.” [/hijack] **BlondeBottledJeanie,** _I_for one would gladly have sat next to you on the plane. And probably bought you a drink. (snarf) ---
**Author:** ![Kyomara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8edcca/32.png) [@Kyomara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyomara)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/26 "2002-12-12T02:30:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kyomara \* > **BlondeBottledJeanie…** Hopefully I would have had the decency to get your name right, though…:o ---
**Author:** ![vix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a88e4f/32.png) [@vix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vix)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/27 "2002-12-12T03:33:45Z")
I get searched all the time, too, but I don’t mind at all. ::shrug:: ---
**Author:** ![Berkut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a88e57/32.png) [@Berkut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Berkut)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/28 "2002-12-12T04:25:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BottledBlondJeanie \* > **In an almost full plane, I sat alone on my row…no one dared sit next to me.** Screw em. If this ever happened to you when I’m flying, I’d let you ride in the cockpit. Just to keep a closer eye on you, for security purposes and all. Yeah, that’s it. Security purposes. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/29 "2002-12-12T04:31:38Z")
> [@](#): > > I am not saying that we should drop our security I am saying if the guy looks like a potential terrorist he should be searched extra well. That, or an [award-winning Canadian author of Indian descent.](http://cbc.ca/storyview/CBC/2002/11/02/mistry021102) ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 4:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/30 "2002-12-12T04:50:05Z")
> [@](#): > > I am a blonde, 20 something who also gets frisked. I think the guys in the security like feeling me up. So here’s an idea (also to **BottledBlondeJeanie** and **Slainte** ): Next time they single you out for a frisking, do your best Meg Ryan impersonation from “When Harry Met Sally”. You know… the cafe scene. Maybe they’ll get the hint. 😉 I didn’t realize this was so prevalent – I don’t fly that often. Only a few times since 9/11. And I haven’t gotten picked for a “random” search yet. But then, I’m a guy… I did just fly a couple of weeks ago, on Southwest. I noticed that one of the passengers that got the checkerboard boarding card, meaning a search, was a little old lady in a very elaborate wheelchair. I don’t think she could hear very well, because the person helping her and travelling with her was repeating things to her, trying to help her understand that she had to be searched. Gee… glad to see they are making sure to stop the obvious terrorists… ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/31 "2002-12-12T04:54:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vix \* > \*\*I get searched all the time, too, but I don’t mind at all. > > ::shrug:: \*\* Oh, me too. I am 5’5", 130 lbs, and about the least threatening person you’re likely to encounter. But I have been pulled out of line at the gate to have a metal detector waved over me, and have my shoes inspected. I have had my suitcases rummaged through. I went to visit friends for Thanksgiving this year, and after my carry-on bag was X-rayed, showing that I had nothing more interesting with me than a book, a CD player, and some CDs, the security worker still insisted on looking through my bag and going through the CDs. And when he handed everything back to me, I said “Thank you for checking.” **BBJ** , I’m sorry you were humiliated in front of a crowd, but it sounds like you took it like a woman and didn’t wuss out. Good for you. ---
**Author:** ![Klaatu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Klaatu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Klaatu)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/32 "2002-12-12T05:54:44Z")
I have a prosthesis, my right leg. It is titanium and carbon fiber. Every time I have been through the airport security check, I tell them and get a scan from a handheld metal detector. They wave it over my fake leg. After that, they let me on. My fake leg could easily carry a broken down firearm, explosives, whatever. Security still sucks. ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/33 "2002-12-12T05:55:00Z")
Airport Security Guy “Sir, please empty your pockets and stand with your feet spread and arms out.” Me (after having emptied the pockets of my cargo pants and ‘assumed the position’) “There ya go.” ASG (waving wand over my belt buckle) “Sir, please remove EVERYTHING from your pockets.” Me “My pockets ARE empty.” ASG “Your pockets are COMPLETELY empty?” Me “Yes.” ASG (taps front of my pants with the metal detector wand) “And… this is?..” Me “My dick.” ASG “…um…” Me “Well?..” ASG “Thank you sir.” Clueless idiot ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/34 "2002-12-12T06:11:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GrizzRich \* > \*\*ASG “Your pockets are COMPLETELY empty?” > > Me “Yes.” > > ASG (taps front of my pants with the metal detector wand) “And… this is?..”\*\* Mountain Dew through the nose = painful. ---
**Author:** ![Garfield226](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Garfield226](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garfield226)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/35 "2002-12-12T06:12:39Z")
Well poo. Didn’t get the punchline in there. Well, you all know what I meant, anyhow… ---
**Author:** ![LadyAvalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6a8cbe/32.png) [@LadyAvalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyAvalonian)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/36 "2002-12-12T06:22:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*I wonder how often Vin Diesel gets searched. \*\* What _is_ it with you and Vin Diesel? I mean, you think about him getting searched, he’s your “safeword”… is there something you’re not telling us? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ElwoodCuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/edb3f5/32.png) [@ElwoodCuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElwoodCuse)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/37 "2002-12-12T06:24:43Z")
I thought airline policy was never to imply ownership in case of a dildo. d&r ---
**Author:** ![\_etalhea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/_/779978/32.png) [@\_etalhea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_etalhea)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/38 "2002-12-12T06:37:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BottledBlondJeanie \* > **late 20, tall, blonde, blue eyed…I am pretty and I am BUILT…brought a few toys with me…anal fetish…lawyer** _ **WILL YOU MARRY ME?!?!?** _ ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/39 "2002-12-12T07:10:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Kyomara \* > **[hijack]It is easy to stand by and say that only people who look Middle-Eastern ought to get searched when you don’t look Middle-Eastern yourself. Put yourself in their shoes and take one for the team. 9/11 effected everyone, not just people who “don’t look like terrorists.” > [/hijack]** Well, I fly a lot and I get searched a lot. I also am dark skinned and some people think I look like an arab (most though think of the Mafia). I would not object if they searched me everytime and never searched BBJ types. But I know that isn’t PC to say. ---
**Author:** ![Anahita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9a28c/32.png) [@Anahita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anahita)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/40 "2002-12-12T11:15:50Z")
Note to those who might look like they’re from the middle east: Make sure that cheap-o chartered airlines (Tower Air, in my case, now defunct) is NOT owned by Israelis with Israeli military security. Oh, and don’t carry your family Khoran if you’re flying on their airline. They’ll confiscate it. (Yes, it happened to me.) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131.md?page=3)