# Apparently, I AM a terrorist... (airplane rant) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 11, 2002, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131 "2002-12-11T23:17:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Iteki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/eada6e/32.png) [@Iteki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iteki)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 11:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/101 "2002-12-12T23:24:02Z")
Urk! My post was in response to having flown through the London airports, not to your other experiences. The other posts came in while I was writing mine. ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/102 "2002-12-12T23:39:04Z")
I have the feeling I’ve seen **BIG\_DADDY** before, or maybe he just plagarized the quiz from another poster in GD. Either way he seems like excellent fodder for the next race debate. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/103 "2002-12-12T23:57:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BottledBlondJeanie \* > \*\*MtgMan I’m glad that my initials amuse you, it reminds me of the time I showed a thread to my OP and said about BBJ, “That’s me.” > > “You named yourself after a blow job?!” \*\* Heh, glad you weren’t offended. I’d been wanting to air that particular observation for quite some time but was too shy. Since this thread started with a personal story I figured I could admit my dark secret and my take pride in my baser nature as well. 🙂 Hey, when are you coming to one of the DFW Doper gatherings? There’s one in a couple of days, if you hurry you could still get directions and stuff. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![BottledBlondJeanie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/0ea827/32.png) [@BottledBlondJeanie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BottledBlondJeanie)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/104 "2002-12-13T00:03:11Z")
You see how much damn time I spend on this board…I called my ‘SO’ and ‘OP’ I need REHAB! **Mtgman** I want to come, but it is our ‘lovely’ firm party that is of course ‘optional.’ Y’all don’t have too much fun, but if you do, please take pictures! ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/105 "2002-12-13T00:14:06Z")
☹ Maybe next time then. **Moxmaiden** , my wife, has been itching to play hostess again recently so we may have something at our place sometime soon if we can find some excuse. Enjoy, Steven ---
**Author:** ![flyboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@flyboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flyboy)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/106 "2002-12-13T00:35:34Z")
**BottledBlondJeanie** , IIRC, your photo is up on one of the sdmb picture pages. Your being searched frequently is definitely related to how you look. [sub]Metalhead: Get in line.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/107 "2002-12-13T04:14:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Slainte \* > \*\*Ordinarily, I would agree that this might embarrass someone into stopping. With the out of control security people that I have read about and experienced firsthand, I am inclined to think this would just encourage them. \*\* Well, I was going to suggest that you could “dress down” for the air travel. You know… “uglify” yourself for the occasion and not get singled out… :::remembering Slainte’s pic on the Unofficial Picture Pages::: Nope, on second thought, I don’t think you could… 🙂 Damn… and it sounds like Phoenix is one of the serious problem places. Sorry to hear it, Slainte, Anthracite, BBJ. (and others). I hope they do something about Pheonix soon. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/108 "2002-12-13T04:57:46Z")
Hmm… interesting. I usually go flying with my full outfit on, top hat, tight shirt, jeans, boots, long coat, etc etc. I have only been searched once beyond the regular metal detector and bag search everyone gets – and that was because something I was wearing set off the detector. I guess since there is usually lots of people staring at me (mostly because I’m a weirdo) they figure if I was up to anything _someone_ would notice. The one time I did get searched, I was padded down, in front of a lot of people, with hands. Not really any inappropriate grabbing, though. I did have to remove my shoes. The guy doing the searching looked like he _really_ didn’t want to have to search me, but I made the thing beep and there were some military guys watching. I’m glad I’ve never been through Phoenix or Cincinnati though. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Wikkit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c0e974/32.png) [@Wikkit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wikkit)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/109 "2002-12-13T06:58:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CrankyAsAnOldMan \* > \*\*Obviously, the problem with adopting a full-on profile policy is that any terrorist organization worth their salt will use it to their advantage, as Kyla hinted at. The day they start searching ONLY people who look vaguely arabic, terrorist groups will put forward their least arabic-looking members for airline jobs. They could use blondes, and women, and families, and be very effective because they didn’t fit the profile. > > Heck, I’m not even all that good a plotter, and that’s the first thing I’d do. \*\* [Carnival Booth: An Algorithm for Defeating the Computer-Assisted Passenger Screening System](http://www.swiss.ai.mit.edu/6805/student-papers/spring02-papers/caps.htm). An MIT paper that outlines why a system of random screening would be better than the weighted system now (with the whole cash/one way/24 hours thing) and any future system with race taken into account. Here’s one disturbing quote: “What may be more alarming is that evidence from the September 11 investigation shows that Atta already knew the kernel idea behind this algorithm. Newsweek reported[sup][21][/sup] that in the weeks before September 11, Atta and his conspirators practiced their attack by boarding the exact same target flights they intended to later hijack (same planes, same times, same origins and destinations). They wanted to ensure that they didn’t raise any suspicions or red flags.” The next big problem is that it’s **random** searches that would be better, not this bullshit that the whole thread is about. They should be randomly chosen by computer, not the ‘security’ people, and there should be no indication that they are to be searched until the search begins. No checker pattern on the ticket. While the pile-on on BIG\_DADDY is amusing, don’t go overboard and totally ignore the truth. How many hijackers have there been in the U.S. in the last ten years? I’d think the 9/11 crews would make up a majority, and they were largely middle eastern, were they not? The objective of airline security isn’t to find terrorists, it’s to find terrorist trying to get on planes with the intent to terrorize. Comparisons to McVeigh are pointless. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/110 "2002-12-13T07:00:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\*I don’t know if you travel in the US much, but I went through Gatwick and Heathrow many times this last year. And relative to the average US airport, it’s like night and day. The difference being that I’m treated like an actual human being at UK airports. \*\* Frequently, but not through the airports you mention - Mostly JFK and Houston IAH as hubs. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/111 "2002-12-13T07:08:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wikkit \* > **[Carnival Booth: An Algorithm for Defeating the Computer-Assisted Passenger Screening System](http://www.swiss.ai.mit.edu/6805/student-papers/spring02-papers/caps.htm). An MIT paper that outlines why a system of random screening would be better than the weighted system now (with the whole cash/one way/24 hours thing) and any future system with race taken into account.** Very interesting Wikkit, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/112 "2002-12-13T12:35:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gary Kumquat \* > \*\*Frequently, but not through the airports you mention - Mostly JFK and Houston IAH as hubs. \*\* Of all the airports in the US I’ve been to, those are two I’ve never visited. Chiefly, my US hubs are (or were) Dallas, CVG, Atlanta, Chicago, SLC, Phoenix, Denver, and St. Louis. And overseas are Heathrow (unless it’s Delta, then Gatwick) and Paris CDG. But then, from the direction I travel, that makes sense. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/113 "2002-12-13T16:29:41Z")
I just wanted to make sure that you all knew (in case it wasn’t reported here enough) that 99%–er, make that, the vast majority. er, make that, a lot of terrorist acts are perpetuated by people who look middle eastern. And did I mention that a lot of terrorist acts are done by people who look like arabs? Before I go, just remember, the majority of terrorists look like they are from the middle east. –Cranky P.S. If anyone needs to know more about the proportion of terrorist acts caused by arab-types, or what a terrorist looks like, see posts on page 1, 2, and 3. But it’s a high number. Like 99%. Really. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/114 "2002-12-13T16:52:13Z")
Southwest is the idiot step-nephew of US carriers [who are already pretty poor.] Didn’t general admission go out with that Who concert in Cincinnati? And as I’m standing as the very first person in line, destined for the luxury of an exit row aisle, I note the evil checkerboard that donates the boarding pass of a terrorist. Window seat, rear of plane. Oh, and the female security agent was very clear that she was using the **back** of her hand when she probed my testicles, so it is OK. I had to concentrate on a mental image of Rosie O’Donnell to prevent an embarrassing tent pitching and the prospect of being one of the last ones on the plane, walking the length of the aisle with the battering ram in siege position. ---
**Author:** ![Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e19adc/32.png) [@Lady\_of\_the\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lady_of_the_Lake)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/115 "2002-12-13T18:20:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Waverly \* > \*\*Oh, and the female security agent was very clear that she was using the **back** of her hand when she probed my testicles, so it is OK. I had to concentrate on a mental image of Rosie O’Donnell to prevent an embarrassing tent pitching and the prospect of being one of the last ones on the plane, walking the length of the aisle with the battering ram in siege position. \*\* 😃 Sometimes, I’m so glad I’m female. 😉 I’ve been searched at the aiport, though as an airline employee it’s usually not at my home airport (MSP). The times that it has happened, it has been by someone of the opposite sex, but for the most part it seemed professional. (Though reading through this thread is making me reconsider taking another trip anytime soon…) ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/116 "2002-12-13T18:24:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Waverly \* > \*\*I had to concentrate on a mental image of Rosie O’Donnell to prevent an embarrassing tent pitching and the prospect of being one of the last ones on the plane, walking the length of the aisle with the battering ram in siege position. \*\* **What?!** But Rosie’s, like, totally hot! I cried when she came out. Um, sorry. We now return to our regular program. I was never here. ---
**Author:** ![Slainte](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Slainte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slainte)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/117 "2002-12-13T21:07:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Monstre \* > \*\*Well, I was going to suggest that you could “dress down” for the air travel. You know… “uglify” yourself for the occasion and not get singled out… > :::remembering Slainte’s pic on the Unofficial Picture Pages::: > Nope, on second thought, I don’t think you could… 🙂 > \*\* I don’t believe your pic is posted on TUSDMBPP, **Monstre** so I’ll just have to assume that you are hot ;). (It’s the intelligence that really charms me anyway) Thanks. And just FTR, it’s not like I fly in leather & fishnet stockings or anything - usually jeans and a shirt or sweater. ---
**Author:** ![St.Urho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8e7dd6/32.png) [@St.Urho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/St.Urho)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/118 "2002-12-13T21:21:27Z")
I flew to two wildland fire assignments this summer, and I got searched at every airport before getting on every plane, since we had one-way tickets. On one flight, there were me and one other person going to Colorado, 14 people on a crew bound for Utah, and 1 helicopter crew member going to Arizona on the same connecting flight to MSP. The flight ended up being delayed for over half an hour so they could search all of us. Apparently that many federal employees in the same area constitues a security hazard. It was also fun trying to explain what the medical equipment in my jump bag was, too (I’m an EMT). ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_Kumquat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4491bb/32.png) [@Gary\_Kumquat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_Kumquat)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/119 "2002-12-13T23:10:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Anthracite \* > \*\*Of all the airports in the US I’ve been to, those are two I’ve never visited. Chiefly, my US hubs are (or were) Dallas, CVG, Atlanta, Chicago, SLC, Phoenix, Denver, and St. Louis. And overseas are Heathrow (unless it’s Delta, then Gatwick) and Paris CDG. But then, from the direction I travel, that makes sense. \*\* Now I know you have a far better engineering background than I do, so don’t the travelators at CDG worry you? Bizarre things, trying to sit somewhere between elevators and walkways. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131/120 "2002-12-13T23:39:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gary Kumquat \* > \*\*Now I know you have a far better engineering background than I do, so don’t the travelators at CDG worry you? Bizarre things, trying to sit somewhere between elevators and walkways. \*\* Yes! Those things are so freaky, they seem almost organic! They are the only sort of moving walkway to date that has ever made me feel…uncomfortable being on. I swear they almost move with a sort of peristalsis! :eek: :eek: :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-am-a-terrorist-airplane-rant/142131.md?page=7)