# Apparently I Don't Pith **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603 "2003-04-14T11:33:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Helena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c68b51/32.png) [@Helena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/21 "2003-04-14T22:00:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \* > \*\*do you just take your clubs to the clubhouse \*\* Oh, is that why they call it the clubhouse? Ah ha! ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/22 "2003-04-15T00:43:52Z")
Just to add my final opinion on the burning question of gay sex. I’m all in favor of it. Of course, I would be. I mean, my mind often drifts off to sex with sweaty, burly men. In kilts. In tight bluejeans. In leather. Well, I guess ya get the idea. Anyway, until **Rue** started this thread, I never thought about gay sex on the golf course. Now, I think about that. So, that’s what **Rue** has done for me today. Oh, and to **Davebear** , this thought about golfer attire. See, around here, the golfers tend to wear shorts, especially when it gets warm. Believe me, in south Georgia it gets mighty warm. These shorts tend to be white and kind ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/23 "2003-04-15T00:43:52Z")
Just to add my final opinion on the burning question of gay sex. I’m all in favor of it. Of course, I would be. I mean, my mind often drifts off to sex with sweaty, burly men. In kilts. In tight bluejeans. In leather. Well, I guess ya get the idea. Anyway, until **Rue** started this thread, I never thought about gay sex on the golf course. Now, I think about that. So, that’s what **Rue** has done for me today. Oh, and to **Davebear** , this thought about golfer attire. See, around here, the golfers tend to wear shorts, especially when it gets warm. Believe me, in south Georgia it gets mighty warm. These shorts tend to be white a ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/24 "2003-04-15T00:45:50Z")
Just to add my final opinion on the burning question of gay sex. I’m all in favor of it. Of course, I would be. I mean, my mind often drifts off to sex with sweaty, burly men. In kilts. In tight bluejeans. In leather. Well, I guess ya get the idea. Anyway, until **Rue** started this thread, I never thought about gay sex on the golf course. Now, I think about that. So, that’s what **Rue** has done for me today. Oh, and to **Davebear** , this thought about golfer attire. See, around here, the golfers tend to wear shorts, especially when it gets warm. Believe me, in south Georgia it gets mighty warm. These shorts tend to be white and kinda tight, especially when they bend over. [sub] **WOOF!** Golfers bending over in white shorts.[/sub] OK, maybe I have thought about gay sex on a golf course. But, not for a while and not this year before **Rue** brought it up. The shorts tend to be see through, so a person can see like jock straps. [sub]Hmmmmmmmmmm… sweaty jockstraps.[/sub] It’s all **Rue’s** fault! Good thing he didn’t mention cookies. [sub]Hmmmmmmm… golfers, sweaty jock straps, beer, cookies … Hmmmmmmmm… **AAAAAAAAAAARGH!** brain overload![/sub] **It’s all Rue’s fault!** ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/25 "2003-04-15T00:48:37Z")
**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!** See what **Rue** did to me. All those thoughts in my head caused 3 really weird posts to happen. **It’s all Rue’s fault, I tell ya!** ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/26 "2003-04-15T00:54:30Z")
You know, there’s a country song about that. Not golf, no. About tractors and (implied) sex. Relevent lyrics: “She thinks my tractor’s sexy It really turns her on” Sorry, I don’t remember the title or artist. I’m sick, so I don’t have the energy to look it up. ---
**Author:** ![d\_redguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@d\_redguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/d_redguy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/27 "2003-04-15T01:07:33Z")
Ironically enough, it’s [She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy](http://www.lyricsondemand.com/k/kennychesneylyrics/shethinksmytractorssexylyrics.html) 😉 by Kenny Chesney.\* \*I am not a big Country music fan, but I have heard this song. It **is** amusing. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/28 "2003-04-15T01:20:12Z")
See, with most forums on this board, you can leave a thread for a couple of hours and come back and pick up where you left off. Not in MPSIMS, and not in a **Rue** thread. I just found this, and I’m already lost. Tractors. Carnivorous giraffes. Sex. Tractor sex. Gay flirting and sex. The fact that gay carniverous giraffes have 18" tongues (What? Nobody mentioned that yet?). Something about balls and bags. Information overload! Evidently, a guy needs to jump on these **Rue** threads when they’re fresh. I didn’t, and I’m lost. Anybody got a map? ---
**Author:** ![juji\_mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ea924/32.png) [@juji\_mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/juji_mojo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/29 "2003-04-15T01:46:29Z")
Ahem! My husband just walked in and wants to know why I am actually bawling\*… sobbing and laughing and moaning and hooting. Tears are running down my face and Im blowing my nose\*\* I try to explain the pointy teethed herbivores, the golf/tractor sex, gay or otherwise, the special dorky pants…or the shorts that “are white and kind” and then … So have the Canucks scored yet? No. He just sits down and watches the game. Refuses to hear any more. \*Bawling, with a W, not balling, with two L’s. That would be more appropriate to golf… or ummmm sex, or well both. Im not sure how the tractor fits in. \*\*Blowing my nose, using a facial tissue to catch the extracted nasal mucous. Not blowing like in sex. If “blowing” counts as sex, I mean I used to think it did, but Americans and their electoral system have a way of making everything complicated. ---
**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/30 "2003-04-15T02:02:36Z")
See what you did, **Rue**? You sucked in another poor soul, that’s what you did. She’s now numbered with the lost, just like me. Welcome, **juji\_mojo**. Pull up a chair, you’re going to be here a while. ---
**Author:** ![Davebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@Davebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Davebear)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/31 "2003-04-15T03:32:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by juji\_mojo \* > \*\*Im not sure how the tractor fits in. \*\* Normally, I’d say it wouldn’t. I mean, not comfortably, anyway. But…well… maybe…I mean, you know… one of those gay golfers in the see-through white shorts, bending over to retrieve one of his balls after doing eighteen holes (and, who _wouldn’t_ need to pick his balls up off the ground, after that?)…well, if the golf course happened to be adjacent to the farm…they do, sometimes, have those big, thick crank handles in the front (the tractors, not the gay golfers) (okay, sometimes them, too)…could be ugly…and…aw, dammit!.. now we’re back to ugly sex, again …how’d that happen? Models! Think about models…and anatomically designed seats…in white, see-through shorts…_sigh_…bending over…ooh!..to pick up your balls…:eek: ACK! ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/32 "2003-04-15T03:43:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by BrotherCadfael \* > \*\*[Benny Hill] > > Why are they called pith helmets… > > [/Benny Hill] \*\* I’m glad I wasn’t the only guy thinking this. . . And here I thought it was going to be a thread about **Rue** hacking his way through a tropical jungle with a machete, evading pygmies, and yelling “Croikey!” Tripler Oh well. One can only hope, I guess. . . ---
**Author:** ![juji\_mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ea924/32.png) [@juji\_mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/juji_mojo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/33 "2003-04-15T04:38:28Z")
It happened again. Im lawfing, and giggling, and I get this “whats up”? and I say “golfing with tractors” and he shuts the patio door … (shh the neighbours!) says sorry I asked. _sigh_ Exgineer, its been happening for a while. In fact, today despite getting up at 8 am…it was not until after 6 pm that I managed to go outside, buy some fruit and veggies, and get laundry change. Ive been thinking though about the white shorts that are kind. I would like to know more about those. Most white shorts I have ever tried on are definitely UNKIND. Which sucks, being a nurse and all. Maybe it would help if I stood next to a tractor? Or would they look better if I was running from giant mutant African herbivores? I am so very, very confused. ---
**Author:** ![juji\_mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ea924/32.png) [@juji\_mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/juji_mojo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/34 "2003-04-15T04:40:25Z")
oh and has it occured to anyone that you need the pith helmet to get the giraffes in the first place? No Pith? Rue, you lent them out to the kahki shirted extras working for Giraffic Park! ---
**Author:** ![juji\_mojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/7ea924/32.png) [@juji\_mojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/juji_mojo)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/35 "2003-04-15T04:40:25Z")
oh and has it occured to anyone that you need the pith helmet to get the giraffes in the first place? No Pith? Rue, you lent them out to the kahki shirted extras working for Giraffic Park! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/36 "2003-04-15T10:43:21Z")
I just noticed that no one picked up on: > [@](#): > > **Further World Peace and make everything nicer for the children.** opting instead to veer into the world of strange animals and stranger uses for farm implements. You guys are all sick, twisted, perverted, and unfit for polite society. So, ya wanna go bowling or something? [sub]waiting for more ball jokes…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/37 "2003-04-15T11:40:20Z")
How come you go and say “Hi!” to **juji\_mojo** [powerpuff] JOOOOOOOO_jiMojo_[/powerpuff] **Ex** , yet **Helena** shows up to nothing? Sheesh. (Ah ha! **Helena**. Good one.) And you know there ARE wimmin golfers too. Maybe one or two of them in kind shorts… -Rue. (just tryin’ to help) ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/38 "2003-04-15T11:49:52Z")
Oh **Rue** , you really ought to have a write like **Rue** contest. I’d enter. I’d probably lose though, especially since I’m not very clever. But I’d try. I really want a “Sex with Ugly” t-shirt, but I’m too cheap to buy it. -Welby (just tryin to kiss ass) ---
**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/39 "2003-04-15T12:02:21Z")
**Trippler** , I had to hack through the living room evading the boys and I yelled something when I stepped on the Lego. I wasn’t wearing a hat though. I hope that helps. Nice try **welb**. It’s appreciated. By the way… COOKIES! (Ha! **Swampy**.) Blame ME for your goofy posts? Yeah, like it’s all MY fault. Sure. Feel better **Kat**. ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603/40 "2003-04-15T12:08:18Z")
Well **Rue** , I wouldn’t want to pith you off. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-dont-pith/168603.md?page=3)