# Apparently, I was never born. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 21, 2014, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115 "2014-08-21T18:19:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/1 "2014-08-21T18:19:43Z")
So I’m at the hospital yesterday visiting my aunt after her surgery, and I think, “This is the hospital where I was born, and I’d like to see my birth records.” I was born premature, and was ijn the hospital in an incubator for months, and Mom said I almost died. I’ve always wanted to confirm this and see the records of what actually happened. During lunch I call the records department at the hospital, and leave a message. Much to my surprise, a records department person calls me back ten minutes later. (I was expecting to get a message a few days later, not immediate service…!) We talk, and I give her my name and birthdate. I hear tapping on the computer. Then she says, I don’t see anything on the computer. Are you sure that was the right date? Were you known by any other name?" I reply, “No…” We go around a little but with more questions. But I’m unaware of anything unusual. Unless all the stories my relatives have said were wrong, I was born on one specific date, with one specific name, both well-known to me, and there was no doubt about it. But the hospital has NO record of my birth. Unfortunately I don’t have my birth certificate with me, so I can’t give her its reference number. That would provide a second check. I’m going to have to do some more calling. But as far as I can tell right now, I was not born in the hospital every one says I was. My aunt (home now, and doing well) and cousin are very amused by the whole thing. I haven’t told my sister yet. ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/2 "2014-08-21T18:27:38Z")
Wow, that’s odd. How many years has it been? Perhaps only paper records were kept? Also, doesn’t your birth certificate usually detail exactly which hospital you were born in? It’d be pretty hard to fudge. Probably just a clerical mistake or the like, and not some grand family conspiracy to mislead you as to the hospital of your birth! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/3 "2014-08-21T18:28:21Z")
Now you can never be president! ---
**Author:** ![Sarabellum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarabellum/32/3492_2.png) [@Sarabellum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarabellum)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/4 "2014-08-21T18:33:10Z")
Perhaps you were filed without a proper first name, also - it used to be somewhat common for people’s early official paperwork to be filed with the first name listed as “Baby Girl”, “Baby Boy” or “Female” or “Male”. I read somewhere that in certain areas that it was actually more usual than not for babies to get listed that way in hospital records. ---
**Author:** ![PorchePine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/94ad74/32.png) [@PorchePine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PorchePine)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/5 "2014-08-21T18:34:55Z")
> [@Sarabellum1976](#): > > Wow, that’s odd. How many years has it been? Perhaps only paper records were kept? > > Also, doesn’t your birth certificate usually detail exactly which hospital you were born in? It’d be pretty hard to fudge. > > Probably just a clerical mistake or the like, and not some grand family conspiracy to mislead you as to the hospital of your birth! 🙂 Maybe they were purchased from gyspys? ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/6 "2014-08-21T18:35:16Z")
> [@Sarabellum1976](#): > > Wow, that’s odd. How many years has it been? Perhaps only paper records were kept? That would be my guess. I assume the OP is 20-40 years old, so the records back then were only on paper. And why would they bother to digitize decades-old birth records? ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/7 "2014-08-21T18:41:59Z")
It sounds like the records clerk expected to find the birth cetificate in the database. Perhaps the records were digitized some time in the past, but the OP’s was missed. You’ll have to convince them to go find the original paper copy, which is probably in some dusty old box somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/8 "2014-08-21T18:55:47Z")
If it helps, I still believe you’re real. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/9 "2014-08-21T19:12:40Z")
On the internet, no one can tell if you exist or not. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/10 "2014-08-21T19:15:40Z")
Clearly, you materialized. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/11 "2014-08-21T19:16:57Z")
My father was named after his father. My grandmother was pretty doped up/exhausted/woozy/whatever from the birth. When someone asked her the baby’s name, she said ‘Bobby Jr.’ So my dad’s birth certificate said his name was ‘Bobby Junior [surname]’ instead of ‘Robert Newton [surname]’. He never went by that. I don’t know if he ever got it officially sorted out, but it didn’t keep him from joining the Army, Navy, and FAA. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/12 "2014-08-21T19:18:03Z")
> [@ZipperJJ](#): > > Clearly, you materialized. I s’pect the OP growed. Like Topsy. ---
**Author:** ![common\_good](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f475e1/32.png) [@common\_good](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/common_good)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/13 "2014-08-21T19:20:41Z")
Don’t feel bad. Reality is an illusion. Unless it’s not. Either way, in the vast scheme of things, it won’t matter. Unless it does. Does that help ? I didn’t think so. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/14 "2014-08-21T19:27:11Z")
I hope you haven’t been taking the personal deduction on your income tax returns. When the IRS finds out you’re not a person, they may well come after you. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/15 "2014-08-21T19:29:37Z")
Generally the IRS doesn’t care about Canadians. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/16 "2014-08-21T19:32:21Z")
I don’t think hospitals keep medical data forever; I think by law it’s 7 years or something like that. Past that point, I think your birth certificate is pretty much all you’ll have. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/17 "2014-08-21T19:41:23Z")
She said that the detailed records were destroyed after ten years, but there still should have been a summary record. That was not even present. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/18 "2014-08-21T20:32:51Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Now you can never be president! Actually, it may help **Sunspace** in that quest, since a birth record from a Canadian hospital would likely be a bit of an obstacle. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Buck\_Godot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/buck_godot/32/6573_2.png) [@Buck\_Godot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Buck_Godot)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/19 "2014-08-21T21:12:47Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Now you can never be president! But he could [kill the king of Scotland](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macbeth), so that’s something. ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2014, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115/20 "2014-08-21T21:53:01Z")
We just had a baby a month ago and most of his paperwork says “Baby Boy” because we had a hard time picking a middle name. And the rest has his name misspelled. Sure it can’t be a typo? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-i-was-never-born/696115.md?page=2)