# Apparently my little sister is determined to become a teenage mom **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 24, 2021, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804 "2021-05-24T15:24:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/1 "2021-05-24T15:24:16Z")
Background: Little sister is 18 going on 19. Lives at home with Mother. She has a job, but it’s a temp job she’s only had for a month and could easily lose it tomorrow. Still hasn’t been able to save up enough money for a car, let alone an apartment. She had a birth control device implanted in her arm last year that was designed to last 3 years. After dating her boyfriend for only a month, she wants boyfriend to move in with her, and for her implant to be removed so she can have a baby with him. Sis even had the audacity to demand that mom take care of her future hypothetical grandbaby for her. Mom got into a screaming match with with little sister last night, threatening to kick her out if she follows through with her plan. Wow. This is absolutely shocking. I knew my sister was impulsive but this is some next level crazy stuff. ---
**Author:** ![StGermain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stgermain/32/2868_2.png) [@StGermain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StGermain)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/2 "2021-05-24T15:31:53Z")
Someone should take the boyfriend aside and remind him that he’ll be on the hook for child support for the next 18+ years. StG ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/3 "2021-05-24T15:36:33Z")
She wants boyfriend to move into Mother’s house with her? Well, that ain’t gonna happen, right? ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/4 "2021-05-24T15:51:54Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > Sis even had the audacity to demand that mom take care of her future hypothetical grandbaby for her. And yet, that will probably happen. These sorts of attitudes and entitlements don’t just develop on their own. This is most likely learned behavior over her entire life…again likely enabled by Mom. How much older are you than your sister? Were you around for much of her upbringing? Are you really surprised by her behavior? ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/5 "2021-05-24T16:01:00Z")
I’m significantly older than her, I was 17 when she was born. We were not raised together. We are half-siblings. I’m living under the same roof with her now because of the all the craziness of the pandemic, and I hope to move out soon. Uncle Blalron will not be an unpaid babysitter. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/6 "2021-05-24T16:07:30Z")
Does she respect you? Is there any way you could have some influence on her about such long term life planning goals? ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/7 "2021-05-24T16:11:09Z")
I’d say there’s a certain level of respect between us, but mostly that’s due to us staying out of each other’s way. If I stepped outside my role of Big Brother into the role of Lecturing Parent, I doubt it would go over very well. The fact of the matter is, this is not my problem. It won’t be my problem. I plan on moving out within the next year. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/8 "2021-05-24T16:20:06Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > The fact of the matter is, this is not my problem. It won’t be my problem. I plan on moving out within the next year. I feel like so much suffering could be avoided if more people recognized this. The whole screaming match thing does not bode well for the relationship after baby comes. I was 37 when I had my baby, and I was like, “holy shit I cannot imagine doing this at nineteen” (my mom’s age.) But it’s her life, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/9 "2021-05-24T17:00:01Z")
I think you’re right. Mom has been letting my siblings get away with too much stuff their whole lives. Not sure if that dynamic is going to change. If push comes to shove, and sister enganges in deliberate babymaking, I don’t think my mom has the balls to actual carry out her eviction threat. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/10 "2021-05-24T18:06:19Z")
Other folks have throughly and IMO wisely addressed Lil Sis’s part in this impending drama. I’d like to talk about BF’s part, and particularly this snip: > [@Blalron](#): > > After dating her boyfriend for only a month, she wants boyfriend to move in with her, and for her implant to be removed so she can have a baby with him. Assuming all this is the BF’s idea, the BF is so far doing exactly the standard thing that an abusive psycho prisoner-taking man does. The kind who’s going to end up beating this woman mentally and perhaps physically first into total submission and then perhaps into totally dead. There’s no assurance that’s his goal. He may just be a lazy clueless goof who wants free sex and a free place to sleep and is passively allowing himself to be herded into this by the impulsive driven Sis. OTOH … _If_ he’s the one pushing for the instant baby, that greatly increases the odds he’s looking for a prisoner, not a GF. I wonder if the OP has any insight into the character or desires of BF he can share? As @Spice_Weasel wisely implies, this is totally setting up to be a shit-show regardless of the specifics. Ideally you, @Blalron, have the emotional fortitude to GTFO early and shake your head as you walk away writing off all the participants. Which will, sadly, almost certainly include your Mom. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/11 "2021-05-24T18:34:31Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Assuming all this is the BF’s idea, the BF is so far doing exactly the standard thing that an abusive While you’re sadly right about the standard M.O. of abusive partners, I read absolutely nothing in the O.P. to indicate that this is his idea at all. O.P. do you feel like sharing where the potential sperm donor stands on all this drama? (Does he even know it’s happening?) ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/12 "2021-05-24T18:38:50Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > Assuming all this is the BF’s idea, the BF is so far doing exactly the standard thing that an abusive psycho prisoner-taking man does. There are certain parts of our American society, where it is not uncommon for baby-daddy, to have a string of unmarried baby-mommas that collect welfare benefits from the tax-payers, and baby-daddy get’s his share from each one of them. Kind of like a baby pyramid scheme. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/13 "2021-05-24T18:50:58Z")
I have absolutely no idea what the boyfriends view is of this plan. He seemed like a decent enough guy from my limited interactions with him, and I wasn’t getting abusive scumbag vibes from him. Of course, I could be mistaken about that. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/14 "2021-05-24T20:24:15Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > There are certain parts of our American society, where it is not uncommon for baby-daddy, to have a string of unmarried baby-mommas that collect welfare benefits from the tax-payers, and baby-daddy get’s his share from each one of them. Kind of like a baby pyramid scheme. We certainly hear such stories. And doubtless some are true at the core, no matter how many times retold and embellished. The part I wonder about is how baby-daddy gets a cut. AFAIK he has no legal claim to a cut. To be sure he could threaten violence and / or emotional blackmail if not paid off by momma. But if he’s got a whole string of mommas & kids out there, there’s not so much time and attention to go around such that withholding it from any one momma would be noticeable to her. > [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > … I read absolutely nothing in the O.P. to indicate that this is his idea at all. Agreed the OP is silent on this. But if the OP author wasn’t aware of the MO, he might not have thought that detail relevant enough to include. Hence my question. Good to hear from @Blalron that this doesn’t seem like the biggest snake in this particular viper pit. It’s bad enough Sis seems hell-bent on trashing her own life. It’d be worse were it somebody else intent on trashing her life. ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/15 "2021-05-24T20:40:09Z")
> [@LSLGuy](#): > > We certainly hear such stories. And doubtless some are true at the core, no matter how many times retold and embellished. > > The part I wonder about is how baby-daddy gets a cut. AFAIK he has no legal claim to a cut. To be sure he could threaten violence and / or emotional blackmail if not paid off by momma. But if he’s got a whole string of mommas & kids out there, there’s not so much time and attention to go around such that withholding it from any one momma would be noticeable to her. This is how most members of the fundamentalist sect of the Church of Latter Day Saints get by. Head to Colorado City, AZ and you’ll see plenty of examples. They don’t have to threaten their baby mommas, it’s ingrained in their culture. There are also places in the gang sub cultures on many of our highly depressed segments of our large metropolitan cities where this behavior is also common. Again, the culture is set up so that the baby mommas don’t even think about raising concern with governmental officials. ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/16 "2021-05-24T20:47:37Z")
To my knowledge, my sister does not belong to a religious cult like the FLDS. This is what I think is happening: Her previous two boyfriends did already have children (with other girls), and after dating my sister for a few weeks broke up with my sister and returned to their baby mamas. This could possibly be factoring into her urge to procreate. Lock the boyfriend in so she can be in a long term relationship with him. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/17 "2021-05-24T20:51:07Z")
Interesting. That’s the “predatory pregnancy” the MRA / MGTOW types are often going on about. IOW “She doesn’t really want _me_. What she wants is some sperm and a 20-year meal ticket.” @Omar_Little: Thanks for the additional examples. Makes more sense in those cultures than it might in generic US-style white or other-than-white underclass culture. ---
**Author:** ![ParallelLines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/parallellines/32/3575_2.png) [@ParallelLines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ParallelLines)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/18 "2021-05-24T20:52:50Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > After dating her boyfriend for only a month, she wants boyfriend to move in with her, and for her implant to be removed so she can have a baby with him. > > Sis even had the audacity to demand that mom take care of her future hypothetical grandbaby for her. I hesitated to reply to this thread, because while I have concerns, I am entirely in @Blalron 's camp: there is no good result here for him, no matter what side he takes. But the two lines I quoted just . . . make me worry, much like @LSLGuy. No judgement on her enjoying her sexuality, that’s her choice and she’s an adult, but to go from a 3 year implant to ready to baby-making in a month? It smells off. And the equally immediate demand for mother (future grandmother) to raise the child for her? That also smells. I have an friend, now somewhat estranged, that a few years ago decided all of a sudden they wanted to have a child, and pressured their partner into a brief marriage and accomplished her goal. To all of her friends, the said partner was a fun guy, but we all couldn’t see him staying - he wasn’t a user, but his public persona was all about being free. I think at some level she knew this, and the desired result was the child, someone whom she would have unconditional love from and if it kept the partner as well, well that was 2 birds, one stone. I share this because, again, the desire to have the child immediately, but not be involved with raising the child just sends up flags for me. At best, it feels like the child is a way for Blalron’s sister to have unconditional love, lock in the partner, and then make mother do the actual hard part of the child raising. Which _seems_ to match the over-indulged pattern Blalron describes, which . . . well, again, yeah, get out while the getting is good. ETA - while I was typing this beast, Blalron came back and less than 2 minutes ago indicates that his concerns mirror mine. 🤷‍♂️ ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/19 "2021-05-24T20:54:55Z")
Yikes! I’m afraid I have nothing constructive to add. Best wishes, Blalron. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2021, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-my-little-sister-is-determined-to-become-a-teenage-mom/942804/20 "2021-05-24T22:45:03Z")
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