# Apparently, preparing avocados is terribly dangerous. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 10, 2017, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297 "2017-05-10T16:34:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/21 "2017-05-10T20:31:58Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > No, you do not understand. Observant Jews have 2 sets of silverware for daily use and 2 more just for passover. My grandparents had 5 sets of dishes; the 4 mentioned above and one for take out Chinese food. Well, at least their dishes will go to heaven. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/22 "2017-05-10T20:37:19Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > …I don’t see how anybody could possibly injure themselves with that technique.:rolleyes: So, you don’t have any sons? ---
**Author:** ![JcWoman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jcwoman/32/2889_2.png) [@JcWoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JcWoman)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/23 "2017-05-10T20:45:47Z")
> [@Telemark](#): > > I managed to badly cut the palm of my hand slicing a bagel once, maybe 20 years ago. I’m still a bit cautious when slicing one (which I do fairly often) but no repeat of the accident. I never have, but slicing a bagel in my hand always freaked me out a bit, so I taught myself how to slice things like that flat on the counter. 1. Lay bagel on counter 2. place right palm on top of bagel with fingers straight out and out of the way 3. position knife horizontal to the counter, edge facing the bagel 4. gently saw the knife through the bagel, pressing down on the bagel with the flat holding hand I cut crookedly at first, until I got the hang of it. ---
**Author:** ![JeffB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jeffb/32/188_2.png) [@JeffB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JeffB)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/24 "2017-05-10T20:50:07Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > And I bet those injuries are mostly to guys, a result of testosterone impairment. Guys will make a mistake with a sharp little knife they would never make with a table saw. Which is why I always slice my avocados on the table saw. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/25 "2017-05-10T21:10:54Z")
> [@JeffB](#): > > Which is why I always slice my avocados on the table saw. And you call yourself a man? Only a chainsaw will do! ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/26 "2017-05-10T21:13:08Z")
Personally I’m just a hardcore adrenaline junkie, but not one of those pussy base jumpers or free climbers, and I’ll stop cutting avocados and bagels that way when you pry the knife from my cold dead hand. The one that is not deeply lacerated obviously, that one wouldn’t be holding the knife. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/27 "2017-05-10T21:39:19Z")
> [@JcWoman](#): > > I never have, but slicing a bagel in my hand always freaked me out a bit, so I taught myself how to slice things like that flat on the counter. > > 1. Lay bagel on counter > 2. place right palm on top of bagel with fingers straight out and out of the way > 3. position knife horizontal to the counter, edge facing the bagel > 4. gently saw the knife through the bagel, pressing down on the bagel with the flat holding hand > > I cut crookedly at first, until I got the hang of it. Or you could just spend $25 bucks and get a [Bagel Guillotine!](https://www.amazon.com/White-Plastic-Stainless-Steel-Guillotine/dp/B00032KSUW) ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/28 "2017-05-10T22:09:21Z")
Bagel slicers are less useful now, given that many places sell pre-sliced bagels. Plus I never eat bagels any longer, given they’re a giant mass of calories, even if you don’t put a schmear of cream cheese on them. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/29 "2017-05-10T22:29:25Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > I used a butter knife during Passover because I couldn’t find the sharp knifes. It was messy and got peel-gunk in the edible parts. Maybe my butter knives are more lethal than the norm? I’ve never had a problem getting a clean-cut avocado with one. And then I jab the blunted point right into the pit and flip that sucker out like a pro. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/30 "2017-05-10T22:33:04Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > …I never eat bagels any longer, given they’re a giant mass of calories, even if you don’t put a schmear of cream cheese on them. I don’t consider them daily breakfast fare. But if I don’t indulge in a freshly-baked scallion cream cheese-and-nova bagel or bialy once or twice a month, I might as well move to Kalamazoo. ---
**Author:** ![Ravenman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ravenman/32/2929_2.png) [@Ravenman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ravenman)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/31 "2017-05-10T22:35:11Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Similarly, I remember reading articles about the large number of injuries that occurred when people were slicing bagels in half. These injuries might, in part, be caused by holding the bagel with your thumb through the hole as you slice it… Just… what? No! I… how does…? Really? I can’t even. There is no… Seriously? Words fail… _What?!?_ ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/32 "2017-05-10T22:36:54Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Typical. Everybody wants to talk about Avocado Diabolo, nobody remembers the attack of the killer tomatoes! Of course they are evil, its why they are delicious, saints eat Brussel sprouts, and swear that they like it! > > And I bet those injuries are mostly to guys, a result of testosterone impairment. Guys will make a mistake with a sharp little knife they would never make with a table saw. “Dave The Barbarian” tried to tell us. It was in the episode where Evil Food tried to kill him. The food is evil and hates us 😃 ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/33 "2017-05-10T22:47:45Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > And you call yourself a man? Only a chainsaw will do! I think a chainsaw is just if you’re going to sculpt a bust of Tom Brady out of guacamole for your Superbowl party. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/34 "2017-05-10T22:54:26Z")
> [@Ravenman](#): > > Just… what? No! I… how does…? Really? I can’t even. There is no… Seriously? Words fail… _What?!?_ Is it really that shocking to you that people slice themselves cutting bagels? Really? No, I mean really? It’s a fuckin recipe for disaster the way I see most people do it. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/35 "2017-05-10T23:00:01Z")
It’s just that eventually, you’d expect them to run out of thumbs. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2017, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/36 "2017-05-10T23:11:07Z")
Maybe the wrong time to link to that scene with Ron Jeremy in _Delicatexxxan_. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/37 "2017-05-11T00:39:20Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > Is it really that shocking to you that people slice themselves cutting bagels? Really? No, I mean really? It’s a fuckin recipe for disaster the way I see most people do it. That people hurt themselves cutting bagels? No. I’ve probably done it myself at some point. That people would try to slice a bagel with their thumbs stuck through the prime slicing zone? Yes, yes, I am surprised at the… poor planning skills on display there. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/38 "2017-05-11T00:43:30Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Maybe the wrong time to link to that scene with Ron Jeremy in _Delicatexxxan_. The following is an actual exchange overheard a few years ago at our local food co-op. **Co-op worker, trying to make an amusing joke** : Hey, what’s up with the bagels? We noticed the holes are getting larger. **Bagel delivery guy** : They hired a baker with a bigger dick. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/39 "2017-05-11T00:48:07Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > That people would try to slice a bagel with their thumbs stuck through the prime slicing zone? Yes, yes, I am surprised at the… poor planning skills on display there. I don’t think that was made as a serious suggestion that people actually do it that way… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/40 "2017-05-11T01:03:45Z")
> [@pulykamell](#): > > I don’t think that was made as a serious suggestion that people actually do it that way… You’ve been around hyoomans long enough to know better. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297.md?page=3)