# Apparently, preparing avocados is terribly dangerous. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 10, 2017, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297 "2017-05-10T16:34:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/61 "2017-05-11T18:52:15Z")
> [@Lightnin](#): > > I use an [OXO avocado tool](https://www.amazon.com/OXO-Grips-Avocado-Slicer-Green/dp/B0088LR592?sa-no-redirect=1). I try to avoid niche kitchen products, but this thing seriously works. BTW, did you notice that Amazon seems to have lowered the free shipping threshold to $25? A few months ago it was $49 and then they lowered it to $35 to compete with Walmart but I hadn’t heard about the drop to $25. ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2017, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/62 "2017-05-11T18:54:45Z")
Cutting something held in your hand with a sharp knife is risky? Who knew? Though not as much as with a not-properly-sharpened one. Those still cut through living flesh just fine, after they bounce or slip on your produce. But really, folks, maybe this just me being a person who used to have avocado trees in the back yard, but …people, it’s an avocado, it is not the Black Knight, you don’t have to go at it like The Bride vs the Crazy 88, just slice in a calm and considered manner, paying attention. And what’s with that $&%#\* knifethrowing-school-dropout method of stabbing the pit??? An appropriately ripe avocado should have the pit come out with minimal pressure if you properly sliced it in half. Just press the blade to it putting the pressure away from yourself. So what if the pit flies off and lands on the floor, you’re not going to eat that. Or even, use your fingernails! If you do NOT need perfect halves, howeber, as in you are goung to chop it or mash it or slice it thin, then daggummit, just slice it in wedges from around the pit and once more than half of it is exposed, GRAB it. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/63 "2017-05-12T00:40:13Z")
Well, THIS was predictable. I happened to be cutting and de-pitting a ripe avocado for dinner tonight, and was holding a ten-inch chef’s knife in my right hand after slicing other salad ingredients, so I went ahead and went at it. Poked myself good in the meaty part of my left hand. Didn’t sever any nerves or tendons, or even bleed, but gave myself a good Ouchie. Serves me right for starting this stupid thread. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/64 "2017-05-12T00:44:39Z")
I apologize for laughing. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/65 "2017-05-12T00:56:31Z")
…do I get to have sex with Meryl Streep, at least? ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/66 "2017-05-12T01:25:04Z")
> [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > …do I get to have sex with Meryl Streep, at least? No,but non-Academy award winning Merle Schtepp is availabe. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/67 "2017-05-12T01:40:19Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Leads me to wonder: Is there a NON-Academy Award winning actress named Meryl Streep? Not since 1979. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/68 "2017-05-12T02:40:01Z")
Great. So _this_ is the Pit thread that doesn’t have any recipes in it? Fine. Hillary’s a lesbian from outer space. When I make avocado-corn soup, do I heat everything together, then chill it, or do I make a creamed corn and chile soup, let it cool, and then stir in the avocado? ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/69 "2017-05-12T02:51:32Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > I was gonna mention the bagel/knife wound stories as well. I’d also like to mention that when I was young, I was told that the most common and worst accidental stab wounds weren’t from knives but from screwdrivers. IME, that’s been pretty accurate. Slotted screwdrivers. Evil things. Followed closely by a Philips as they seem to strip so easily. I made is a practice to only buy Robinson screws, if at all possible. No slip and seldom strip. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/70 "2017-05-12T02:54:42Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > No,but non-Academy award winning Merle Schtepp is availabe. You misspelled Shtupp. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/71 "2017-05-12T04:13:43Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > Speaking of Fay Wray, whatever happened to her? > > I wonder how many of these injuries aren’t due to sharp knives, but dull ones, which require more force and behave less predictable. A. She died. B. A fact few are familiar with. > [@Ukulele\_Ike](#): > > Well, THIS was predictable. Dumbfuck. Get a bagel guillotine and a suitably-sized sharp knife, and learn how to use it… Dumbfuck. Lots of what I know about cooking, some from my grandma, lots from TV, but much from an engineer’s brain, which requires an ability to form procedures, and the pitfalls at each step. Before coming up with anything you need to visualize every step, and every stupid step Mohammed in assembly will fuck up, with documentation of why he’d fuck it up to wave in his face. Twenty years ago he suggested I would benefit from fasting for Ramadan. I buried him 19 years ago. Er…yeah, learn your tools, and your target. Sharp paring knife to pierce the skin. Big knife to follow and cut the flesh in twain. Toss the pit to some vegans who will deepfry it or something. A little salt or spice on the meat and you will forget why you bought another 11 of them. Okay, save another for you and tell the co-op, “They only had ten.” ---
**Author:** ![psychobunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@psychobunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/psychobunny)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/72 "2017-05-12T04:58:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Speaking of Fay Wray, whatever happened to her? I believe she got caught in a celluloid jam. As for Julia Child, I went to medical school in Boston and I met a LOT of ER doctors who stitched up her various hand injuries. The lady was NOT good with a knife. (Still love her, though) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/73 "2017-05-12T06:19:45Z")
> [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](#): > > Great. So _this_ is the Pit thread that doesn’t have any recipes in it? Fine. Hillary’s a lesbian from outer space. When I make avocado-corn soup, do I heat everything together, then chill it, or do I make a creamed corn and chile soup, let it cool, and then stir in the avocado? Why are you asking us? _You’re_ the – well, _you_ know… ---
**Author:** ![constanze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@constanze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/constanze)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/74 "2017-05-12T06:22:26Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > In 20000 years when the aliens find the post-apocalyptic remains of our civilization that thing will spark “What the fuck was that for?” debating and conjecturing that will make the [Roman dodecahedron](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_dodecahedron) mystery look tiny. Where’s the mystery in a twelve-sided dice after People have heard of Dungeons & Dragons? ---
**Author:** ![constanze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f9ae1b/32.png) [@constanze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/constanze)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/75 "2017-05-12T06:25:39Z")
> [@JRDelirious](#): > > But really, folks, maybe this just me being a person who used to have avocado trees in the back yard, but …people, it’s an avocado, it is not the Black Knight, you don’t have to go at it like The Bride vs the Crazy 88, just slice in a calm and considered manner, paying attention. And what’s with that $&%#\* knifethrowing-school-dropout method of stabbing the pit??? I never thought about it before this Topic made the “News” (that is, GMX front page which is one serious Event and two irrelevant/ funny things), because I don’t like avocadoes, so I don’t eat them - but I do have enough experience with other pits to not try to use a knife on a smooth hard surface, when there’s a teaspoon in my drawer that would probably serve just as well to get a round pit out. Or, if I would buy an unfamiliar fruit, I’d ask the salesperson in the veggie section. In any non-cheap Supermarket, salespersons should know about their section. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2017, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/76 "2017-05-12T07:14:31Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > And then there’s shucking oysters at home… The only reason to open an oyster is to see if there’s a pearl inside.\* Just go ahead and buy some pearls and let someone else take the risks. \*(it’s not like there’s anything in there made of food.) ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2017, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/77 "2017-05-13T02:52:00Z")
> [@psychobunny](#): > > IAs for Julia Child, I went to medical school in Boston and I met a LOT of ER doctors who stitched up her various hand injuries. The lady was NOT good with a knife. (Still love her, though) Mentioned that to Wife, who laughed about seeing her cut herself all the time. I had forgotten the first seasons were live. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2017, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/78 "2017-05-13T03:01:04Z")
This isn’t very ranty, and is sorta food oriented… let’s try it in Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2017, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/79 "2017-05-13T03:29:29Z")
So, that SNL sketch with Dan Akroyd where she bleeds to death so hilariously was based on an actual thing? Who gnu? ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2017, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297/80 "2017-05-13T05:10:26Z")
I’ve seen the tapes and, yeah, but less blood. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-preparing-avocados-is-terribly-dangerous/786297.md?page=5)