# Apparently tape measure makes a potent hand grenade **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 14, 2009, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072 "2009-04-14T15:47:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/1 "2009-04-14T15:47:09Z")
This morning I was fiddling around with a tape measure, and frustrated when it wouldn’t reel in properly. I figured the tape must be kinked or something, causing it to get stuck inside the casing. I decided to open the casing up to fix the tape measure (big mistake). The spring that winds the tape back up is apparently a series of coiled copper strips inisde the reel. I figured I’d slowly unreel the tape measure out then carefully reel it in so it wound smoothly. However, unreeling it without the casing just made it worse, and the reel assembly popped loose. I couldn’t pop it back in place with my hands so I figured I’d just take it completely apart and reassemble it. At some point, I removed whatever barrier/resistance existed to these coiled metal strips from completely unwinding. The tape measure _exploded_ in my hands, sending razor-sharp strips of metal flying in all directions. Genius I am, I also decided to do this while in shorts, so now I have tiny cuts all over my hands and upper legs :smack: I also spent a good while sweeping up all the sharp pieces of metal so I don’t accidentally step on them. Who knew these things could be so dangerous? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/2 "2009-04-14T15:54:23Z")
So you were sittin’ around in a pair of shorts and decided you needed a tape measure? Okay… Nurse Carmen is a guy and so is, apparently, Incubus. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/3 "2009-04-14T15:56:36Z")
Don’t forget the bowl of jello. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/4 "2009-04-14T16:03:15Z")
My Mom did this. And after hours of frustration she finaly got it all put back together. With the tape in it upside down. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2009, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/5 "2009-04-14T18:06:57Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > So you were sittin’ around in a pair of shorts and decided you needed a tape measure? > > Okay… Nurse Carmen is a guy and so is, apparently, Incubus. Aren’t Incubus (Incubi?) by definition male? ---
**Author:** ![Silophant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a698b9/32.png) [@Silophant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silophant)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/6 "2009-04-15T04:32:40Z")
Yep. The females are Succubi. Succubuses. Succubi. ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/7 "2009-04-15T05:20:16Z")
> [@enipla](#): > > My Mom did this. And after hours of frustration she finaly got it all put back together. > > With the tape in it upside down. 😃 What was your mom measuring? Does that explain why it was upside down? ---
**Author:** ![jackdavinci](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackdavinci/32/3259_2.png) [@jackdavinci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackdavinci)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/8 "2009-04-15T06:29:26Z")
I once was opening a tube of biscuits and POP! it came unravelled in my hands and sent the biscuit dough flying ten feet across the room. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/9 "2009-04-15T13:35:59Z")
You were measuring your John Thomas with a tube of biscuits? Dude, that’s messed up. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/10 "2009-04-15T13:58:27Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > You were measuring your John Thomas with a tube of biscuits? Dude, that’s messed up. Seriously. I needed three tubes of biscuits to measure mine. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/11 "2009-04-15T14:06:29Z")
They slice you to the bone if your stupid enough to leave your finger against the tape when it retracts. ---
**Author:** ![Philster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/13edae/32.png) [@Philster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philster)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/12 "2009-04-15T14:23:44Z")
You find that cool? I have a garage door that I’d like you to replace. ---
**Author:** ![carlb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carlb/32/5930_2.png) [@carlb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlb)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/13 "2009-04-15T14:37:15Z")
I once dropped a tape measure from about 120 feet in the air, onto a steel floor below. I watched it fall all the way down, almost in slow motion, and then marveled at the fireworks-like display that ensued when it reached bottom. I almost wished I had another one to do it again. Fortunately, there was nobody working down below when it happened. They probably would have spoiled the visuals. ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/14 "2009-04-15T14:37:35Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > You were measuring your John Thomas with a tube of biscuits? Dude, that’s messed up. I thought he was trying to make a bun for his weiner. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/15 "2009-04-15T14:45:52Z")
Dang! Yeah you don’t fuck with springs under tension. You should sue the company that made the tape measure for not warning you about it. (Just kidding!) ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/16 "2009-04-15T17:01:49Z")
So, now you need a new tape measure. There are some new variations since the last time. The Lufkin Quik Read has big numbers in line with the tape, instead of crossways. It has all the increments labeled, so you don’t have to count those tiny marks. On one edge it’s in fractions, and on the other edge, it’s in decimals. If you want a tape that won’t fold up when you measure an open space, the Stanley Fat Max is a good bet. I think you could use it for a fishing pole. To set the hook, just press the release button! There’s another with a magnet on the end hook, strong enough to hang it from the ceiling. I forget the brand. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/17 "2009-04-15T17:49:16Z")
> [@AskNott](#): > > So, now you need a new tape measure. There are some new variations since the last time… My boss has one of [these](http://www.ustape.com/index.html?session_id=6f7e9a5e8be3a34c94f1612f2287c000&screen=centerpoint) tape measures for quickly finding the center of things. (We mainly use it for centering lettering on signs.) It is teh awesome. ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/18 "2009-04-15T18:12:47Z")
Why were you wearing shorts yesterday, **Incubus**? It was colder than bloody hell here in the bay area (windy, too). ---
**Author:** ![Runestar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/74df32/32.png) [@Runestar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runestar)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2009, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-tape-measure-makes-a-potent-hand-grenade/493072/19 "2009-04-15T18:15:50Z")
My dad (an architect) once dropped his tape measure from a fair height while taking measurements in a building. Just like the OP, the tape measure exploded when it hit the floor. He hung the resulting metal tangle hanging from the ceiling of his office; it was quite a marvelous abstract sculpture.