# Apparently there is such a thing as a beastiality pimp. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 20, 2010, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728 "2010-04-20T10:01:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/21 "2010-04-20T18:37:48Z")
This gives a whole new literal meaning to “bitch slap”. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/22 "2010-04-20T18:40:14Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > I suppose to top this story, it will have to be about a necrobeastialaity pimp. How about underage necrobeastialaity? What’s that in dog years, though? ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2010, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/23 "2010-04-20T18:51:56Z")
> [@OtisCampbellWasRight](#): > > When I was a lad, supposedly the hot set-up for pleasuring yourself was a piece of raw liver inside a toilet paper roll. Never tried it, but hey, nobody actually eats liver anyway…right? If you add onions to the liver…its a lay that will bring tears to your eyes… ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/24 "2010-04-21T00:09:49Z")
I’m honestly surprised. I’d think bestiality tourism would occur in one of the states where it ISN’T a crime. “Cum on down! It’s legal to bone rover here!” ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/25 "2010-04-21T00:39:27Z")
> [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](#): > > But mice?!? > > I don’t even want to think about it… Especially because two cute white mice are in their cage next to me. Not _that_ sort of cute. Um. Uh, Alba, Sophie? Don’t talk to strangers, girls. Just… just keep to yourselves there. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/26 "2010-04-21T01:47:07Z")
> [@freckafree](#): > > I’m trying not to think about why a bestiality ranch had mice, not to mention why they had to be euthanized. “Wil-buuu..-” _Ka-Blam_ “What’s next on the list?” “The porker on the end with “Some Pig” done up in silk over the stall.” “What about the spider?” “Don’t sweat it. Fumigators will be here at dawn…” ---
**Author:** ![sjc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e5b9ba/32.png) [@sjc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sjc)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/27 "2010-04-21T02:57:18Z")
> [@3\_20\_59\_or\_bust](#): > > Whatcom County. > > I lived there for about 10 years. Lots of cows. Mostly alive, as far as I remember. I suppose some could have been dead, but I didn’t see them. Whatcom!! Oh crap, not another Washington State bestiality case. ---
**Author:** ![horsetech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dec6dc/32.png) [@horsetech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/horsetech)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/28 "2010-04-21T03:22:15Z")
What about this fine piece of [ass](http://www.lerwick.shetlandsales.com/pics/donkey.jpg)? (SFW) ---
**Author:** ![dwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwyr/32/363_2.png) [@dwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwyr)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/29 "2010-04-21T04:42:28Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > What an entrepreneur! A real American! Actually he’s a British National according to the article. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/30 "2010-04-21T04:56:41Z")
> [@dwyr](#): > > Actually he’s a British National according to the article. So were the original Americans. What’s it to you? He’s got _American_ spirit in him! ---
**Author:** ![HazelNutCoffee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ac91a4/32.png) [@HazelNutCoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HazelNutCoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 7:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/31 "2010-04-21T07:06:46Z")
It disturbs me that next to the article is an ad that says “BEAUTIFUL ! LARGE STANDARD POODLE AT STUD !!!..” ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/32 "2010-04-21T10:31:05Z")
> [@dwyr](#): > > Actually he’s a British National according to the article. Nope, the British National was a visitor to the farm. Some guy in his 50s from Peterborough, according to the Huffington Post. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/33 "2010-04-21T13:21:46Z")
This dog of yours, quite a little stunner, isn’t she? Does she eh, does she have any friends? She doesn’t have any steady boyfriends does she? ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/34 "2010-04-21T13:26:17Z")
I didn’t expect World War I noises. ---
**Author:** ![Shawn\_K\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Shawn\_K\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shawn_K_1)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/35 "2010-04-21T14:16:25Z")
So other than the fact “baaaa!” means no, why exactly is bestiality illegal? As long as no one knows about it or is being coerced into doing it does it matter? Just curious what the original and continuing reason for it being law is. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/36 "2010-04-21T14:18:47Z")
> [@Shawn\_K\_1](#): > > So other than the fact “baaaa!” means no, why exactly is bestiality illegal? As long as no one knows about it or is being coerced into doing it does it matter? > > Just curious what the original and continuing reason for it being law is. Animal cruelty? I don’t know. The legal (as opposed to moral) justification might have something to do with their inability to give sexual consent. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/37 "2010-04-21T14:24:32Z")
> [@Shawn\_K\_1](#): > > As long as no one knows about it or is being coerced into doing it does it matter? I think that the thinking is that animals cannot give consent and may actually find it unpleasant. Cruelty to animals, IOW. I’ve recently been watching a show called Food Tech. Awesome show! But on one episode there was a brief segment on artificial semination. How do they get sperm into a female pig? Turkey baster, I assume. No big deal. But I never considered how they get the sperm out of the male. As it turns out, it’s pretty much the old fashioned way. The farmer puts on a rubber glove, gets down there, and goes to town on the pig. Now, you’d think that the pig would like it. “Ooh boy, farmer Jones again! Soooooooweet!” But no. Apparently the pig barely tolerates it, and can get downright mean. ---
**Author:** ![llcoolbj77](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb9ed0/32.png) [@llcoolbj77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/llcoolbj77)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/38 "2010-04-21T14:35:28Z")
> [@Shagnasty](#): > > I actually witnessed a necrobeastiality show once so it does exist but you don’t need a pimp for it. Some extreme rednecks get a little too excited about their kills on doe day especially after a fifth of Jack. If you can think it, they will come. We had a deer hunter here in VA accused of having sex with his kill. I remember that he plead guilty to some misdemeanor, but the hunter wanted to make sure that everyone knew the deer was a doe. Sure he fucks animals, but he is no “queer” deer fucker. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/39 "2010-04-21T14:40:19Z")
They were doing the 19th century version of “Pimp my Ride”. “Yo dawg, I herd u liek herds so we put a doe in your bed so you can eat some venison while you eat your venison” ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/40 "2010-04-21T14:45:30Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > They were doing the 19th century version of “Pimp my Ride”. > > “Yo dawg, I herd u liek herds so we put a doe in your bed so you can eat some venison while you eat your venison” Yo **Ludovic** , I’m real happy for you and I’ma let you finish, but a hot dog joke would have been the best of all time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728.md?page=3)