# Apparently there is such a thing as a beastiality pimp. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 20, 2010, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728 "2010-04-20T10:01:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![enomaj](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/59ef9b/32.png) [@enomaj](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enomaj)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/41 "2010-04-21T15:12:36Z")
I fucking you dog! ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/42 "2010-04-21T15:14:11Z")
> [@llcoolbj77](#): > > We had a deer hunter here in VA accused of having sex with his kill. I remember that he plead guilty to some misdemeanor, but the hunter wanted to make sure that everyone knew the deer was a doe. Sure he fucks animals, but he is no “queer” deer fucker. 😃 No queer _dead_ deer fucker. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/43 "2010-04-21T17:06:26Z")
> [@Shawn\_K\_1](#): > > So other than the fact “baaaa!” means no, why exactly is bestiality illegal? As long as no one knows about it or is being coerced into doing it does it matter? > > Just curious what the original and continuing reason for it being law is. The anti-bestiality law was passed in Washington state following the related case where a man died after being penetrated by a horse. (The man in this current case was the same man who deposited the injured horseman to the hospital. It was discovered that there was no law in place and therefore not actually illegal.) Conservative lawmakers quickly passed a law. At no time did they explain how it was cruel to the horse. Presumably the horse consented. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/44 "2010-04-21T17:40:22Z")
> [@](#): > > Apparently, based on what I have learned in this thread, it is against the law to have sex with a live animal. It’s also against the law to have sex with a dead animal. How far does the principle extend? What other possibilities are you concerned about? Zombie beastiality? ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/45 "2010-04-21T17:44:10Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > What other possibilities are you concerned about? Zombie beastiality? I’m just curious why some freak who wants to pour the pork to a deer he just shot is breaking the law, but some other freak who gets off on loving up a leg of lamb is in the clear. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/46 "2010-04-21T17:44:17Z")
> [@](#): > > This gives a whole new literal meaning to “bitch slap”. That and “give a dog a bone”. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/47 "2010-04-21T17:56:21Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > If one purchased a large roast from Piggly Wiggly, could one sex the roast on down, or would that also be against the law? OMG, this had me rolling! Then when I got to the bottom of the thread and the ad said, “Giraffe Boards–We have your cat” it was truly all over for me. ---
**Author:** ![dhkendall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9adbd/32.png) [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/48 "2010-04-22T12:08:25Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > This dog of yours, quite a little stunner, isn’t she? Does she eh, does she have any friends? She doesn’t have any steady boyfriends does she? Was I supposed to read this in the voice of Michael Palin’s pet shop owner character from MPFC’s “Dead Parrot” sketch? … 'cause I totally did. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/49 "2010-04-22T13:03:04Z")
> [@dhkendall](#): > > Was I supposed to read this in the voice of Michael Palin’s pet shop owner character from MPFC’s “Dead Parrot” sketch? > > … 'cause I totally did. Huh, I went with Eric Idle’s “Nudge nudge, say no more” character. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/50 "2010-04-22T13:17:27Z")
> [@muldoonthief](#): > > Huh, I went with Eric Idle’s “Nudge nudge, say no more” character. Come to think of it, I have no idea. Pretty sure it’s not John Cleese. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/51 "2010-04-22T13:32:13Z")
D’oh! Michael Palin. (With Terry Jones.) ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/52 "2010-04-22T13:38:19Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Come to think of it, I have no idea. Pretty sure it’s not John Cleese. You could also go with Graham Chapman’s “I think we got an eater!” cannibal undertaker. I can’t think of a Cleese or Jones character that works though. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2010, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/53 "2010-04-22T16:15:25Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > Come to think of it, I have no idea. Pretty sure it’s not John Cleese. **It’s** … Michael Palin, from the World War I noises sketch. Michael is an officer and Terry Jones is the sergeant to whom he is speaking. ---
**Author:** ![Beerman1963](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2acd7d/32.png) [@Beerman1963](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beerman1963)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2010, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/54 "2010-04-24T00:25:15Z")
In the vein of the necrobeasty thing. I read a book on Henry Lee Lucas that claimed one of his uncles introduced him to the practice when he was a lad. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2010, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728/55 "2010-04-25T22:17:42Z")
Coming\* soon to a theatre near you > [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > Visit our horse ranch for your next vacation. All our horses and dogs are trained to do tricks. Soundtrack by [Spinal Tap](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ib9Jz9iydeQ) > [@OtisCampbellWasRight](#): > > When I was a lad, supposedly the hot set-up for pleasuring yourself was a piece of raw liver inside a toilet paper roll. Never tried it, but hey, nobody actually eats liver anyway…right? Screenplay by [Philip Roth](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portnoy%27s_Complaint) _I’m sorry_ for the pun. \*Not sorry enough to pull it out. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-there-is-such-a-thing-as-a-beastiality-pimp/536728.md?page=2)