# Apparently there's something "wrong" with me. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 22, 2004, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507 "2004-04-22T21:00:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/41 "2004-04-24T03:43:26Z")
> [@sailor](#): > > Sorry. No can do. Damn you, sailor. I was going to say “You’ll have to buy me dinner first.” ---
**Author:** ![Albert\_Rose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9de053/32.png) [@Albert\_Rose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Albert_Rose)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 5:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/42 "2004-04-24T05:56:31Z")
Is this turning into a joke thread? Haul ass, **Tony** , for your own good. The sisters are wonderful humans who aren’t for you. Find some other honey. Stud. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/43 "2004-04-24T23:29:14Z")
> [@AlbertRose](#): > > Is this turning into a joke thread? Somewhat. But I’m partially to blame. > [@](#): > > Haul ass, **Tony** , for your own good. The sisters are wonderful humans who aren’t for you. Find some other honey. > > Stud. Ya if they would get a clue and stop calling.But I’m to blame there also as I have not asked them to. I sorta get an ego boost from fuckin with them a little. After all, Vixen fucked with my head BIGTIME last summer when I thought I was in love with her.Sunshine fucked with me also. Sunshine is hot _and she knows it._ So if the tables turn a little _ **I’m gonna fuckin’ run with it.** _ Turn the other cheek? Be a bigger person? Fuck that… ---
**Author:** ![Cosmopolitan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/94ad74/32.png) [@Cosmopolitan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cosmopolitan)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2004, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/44 "2004-04-24T23:53:33Z")
I cannot _wait_ for the next chapter in this sordid little tale. As some other Doper tried to tell you; she ain’t gonna fuck you. At least not in the coital sense of the word. She will, however, leave you with a mean case of blue balls. I would, were I her. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/45 "2004-04-25T00:17:01Z")
> [@Tony Montana](#): > > Somewhat. But I’m partially to blame. > > Ya if they would get a clue and stop calling.But I’m to blame there also as I have not asked them to. I sorta get an ego boost from fuckin with them a little. > After all, Vixen fucked with my head BIGTIME last summer when I thought I was in love with her.Sunshine fucked with me also. Sunshine is hot _and she knows it._ So if the tables turn a little _ **I’m gonna fuckin’ run with it.** _ > Turn the other cheek? Be a bigger person? > Fuck that… Huh? If _they_ get a clue? Dude. Sisters talk to each other. You are in a no win situation. Time for you to get a clue and realize it. You are not fucking with them. They are playing you. Several people here and in the other thread have told you this. I felt a little bad for you when this started, but quite frankly, if you honestly see yourself as getting laid or “one up” on these girls anywhere in this scenario, you deserve whatever they do to you. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/46 "2004-04-25T01:31:04Z")
> [@Cosmopolitan](#): > > she ain’t gonna fuck you. I didn’t mean to imply Vixen wanted _it…_ (note:Vixen doesn’t give a shit what myself and Sunshine do) Vixen wouldn’t hump me in a million.I make no bones about that. She’s the one I fell for,she’s the one I wanted something serious with…the one who will never be interested…in a million.The one I would drop whatever I was doing wherever I was at and run to…if she’d ever have me…_damn_ On the other hand Sunshine wants to “hang out”. The last time we did that we wound up on my couch swappin spit.But I was a “Gentleman” (or Idiot) about where things went. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/47 "2004-04-25T01:59:15Z")
Being a gentleman will never will you that corner office in life. It’s time for you to embrace your inner asshole and try to get the sisters in bed together at the same time. :::::cue porno music:::::::: ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/48 "2004-04-25T02:15:07Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > Being a gentleman will never will you that corner office in life. Are you saying…nice guys finish last?well gawwd damn I have nothing to worry bout then. > [@](#): > > It’s time for you to embrace your inner asshole and try to get the sisters in bed together at the same time. > > :::::cue porno music:::::::: I’d be happy with Vixen.(OK I’ll admit that to myself) :::::::cue sappy love song:::::::::: ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/49 "2004-04-25T04:49:24Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Stop being such a whiny weenie! An available, sexy woman is begging for you to call her and you’re kicking the dirt while staring at your shoes? Oh sure, she’ll crumple up and toss away your soul like a used Kleenex eventually, but what stories you’ll have to tell, and that’s what’s important! You know, just ONCE I’d like to have problems like this. As it stands now, it’s been so long since I’ve had a date, my cat walks out of the room backwards.[sup]\*[/sup] [sup]\*[/sup]For anyone concerned, I wouldn’t sleep with my cat. I don’t know where she’s been, for one thing. And you’re not just sleeping with your cat. You’re sleeping with every cat your cat’s ever slept with. All nine lives. And the last thing I need is to come down with a case of genital ticks. Although…that sandpaper tongue… ---
**Author:** ![TheOnlySaneOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/67e7ee/32.png) [@TheOnlySaneOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOnlySaneOne)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/50 "2004-04-25T04:59:58Z")
> [@if6was9](#): > > **Tony** , don’t you know? In America, first you have to get the the money. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, THEN you get the woman. > That’s where you went wrong… Then the woman takes the money and the power, and you start over again. All part of the great Circle of Life. ---
**Author:** ![Sinshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sinshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinshine)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/51 "2004-04-25T05:32:24Z")
> [@Tony Montana](#): > > Turn the other cheek? Be a bigger person? > > Fuck that… And I saith to you, turn the other cheek, and tell us how you like it … You’re getting done, and oddly, you seem to be enjoying it. Elsewise you’d have cut off all communications between yourself and the cats in heat. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/52 "2004-04-25T21:55:48Z")
> [@](#): > > Then the woman takes the money and the power, and you start over again. All part of the great Circle of Life. No, no, no, the circle isn’t complete until He remarries a trophy wife half his age and IQ and his Ex spends the rest of her life having pre-emptive cosmetic surgery. And the kids all go in therapy. ---
**Author:** ![Gadfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gadfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadfly)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2004, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507/53 "2004-04-25T22:05:03Z")
> [@Shirley Ujest](#): > > No, no, no, the circle isn’t complete until He remarries a trophy wife half his age and IQ and his Ex spends the rest of her life having pre-emptive cosmetic surgery. And the kids all go in therapy. 1. Pre-emptive cosmetic surgery. 2. Trout. 3. ??? 4. Profit! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apparently-theres-something-wrong-with-me/241507.md?page=2)