# Apple Computer User Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583 "2003-04-14T06:41:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![rayray5884](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/57b2e6/32.png) [@rayray5884](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayray5884)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/1 "2003-04-14T06:41:46Z")
I have a friend on my floor in my dorm room who I think is the only Apple user on the entire floor. We have our little feud over the better PC and we’re always ripping on each other over our computing choices. It’s all in good fun and most of the time the jokes are just funny because they’re so stupid. So, whats your favorite joke aimed at Apple users?? Thanks in advance! ---
**Author:** ![rayray5884](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/57b2e6/32.png) [@rayray5884](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayray5884)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/2 "2003-04-14T06:43:10Z")
Disclaimer I forgot to add: This thread is not meant to be a debate about which platform is really better, it’s obvious that the PC is anyway. I’m really just looking for funny/corny/stupid apple jokes. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/3 "2003-04-14T07:24:51Z")
Tell him the Apple logo is in rainbow colors because this machine is intended for gay boys. (Not at all true, of course, but given their level of social maturity, it’ll probably really bother your average dorm-rat.) Or just always refer to it as his “toy computer”. And point out that I-Macs are made of the same brightly colored plastic as playpens. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/4 "2003-04-14T07:25:36Z")
Do the Apple users get to share their jokes about PC users? I mean, fairs fair, and it’s all in good fun. > [@](#): > > rayray wrote: > > This thread is not meant to be a debate about which platform is really better, **it’s obvious that the PC is anyway.** Let me get this straight: You come to the Straight Dope Message Board, post a thread under some delusion that everyone will agree with you on this point and not want to discuss it? Couldn’t you have left it at, “Let’s not make this a platform debate” and left the rest out? Oh, and let me ask you this: which computer is better at running Final Cut Pro? (Hint: It’s a trick question. 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![rayray5884](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/57b2e6/32.png) [@rayray5884](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayray5884)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/5 "2003-04-14T07:31:41Z")
I was really just trying to be humorous, that’s all. Feel free to start your own PC Joke thread. I’m sure there are plenty of people who agree and disagree with me. And I’m also sure there are plenty of PC jokes to go around as well. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/6 "2003-04-14T07:44:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rayray5884 \* > I was really just trying to be humorous, that’s all. If you really wanted an “all in good fun” thread, you wouldn’t have dangled out that nugget about “Because it’s obvious the PC [better]”. Because that _will_ get responses, trust me. > [@](#): > > Feel free to start your own PC Joke thread. I’m sure there are plenty of people who agree and disagree with me. And I’m also sure there are plenty of PC jokes to go around as well. And they can probably be shared on this thread as well, which is much more econimcal for this message board, don’t you think? Whee! That’s how threads on the Straight Dope evolve. Just watch and see. This will be fun. :rolleyes: Oh, and by the way, you didn’t answer my question: Which computer (Mac or PC) is better for Final Cut Pro? Is the PC automatically better, just because it’s a PC? ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/7 "2003-04-14T07:45:05Z")
But Apple jokes are more or less the same as PC jokes, which are the same as Texas A&M jokes, which are the same as Polish jokes, etc., etc. I mean, I imagine there are a few which would be specific to programming or Final Cut Pro or whatever, but most of them are fill-in-the-blank. ---
**Author:** ![Bill\_H](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a5b964/32.png) [@Bill\_H](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill_H)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/8 "2003-04-14T07:46:49Z")
this’ll be fun to watch. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/9 "2003-04-14T10:01:06Z")
Y’know, chances are pretty good that your friend has heard a lot of Mac jokes. Tons of 'em. He could probably teach you some. If he really is a good-natured person and you two really, truly tease each other “all in good fun”, then hey, a big thumbs up to the guy, and a big thumbs up for your friendship. Most people I know couldn’t stand to be around someone who constantly ribbed them like that. But if there’s the slightest chance that he does not take your remarks in the spirit of humor, then I think the best thing to do is lay off. Years of being the only Mac user and the butt of all the jokes is no picnic. Me, I’d laugh right along with the jokes, but what else could I do? Disown my friends over a few stupid Mac jokes? I admit that at times I was tempted. It sounds silly to get that upset over something as insignificant as computing platforms. But when your friends take pleasure in jokes and comments that translate into calling you an idiot, it _does_ feel personal after a while. In your mind, you know it’s stupid-- so why are your friends risking hurting you over something stupid? How much can they care about you if they’re happy to let something so trivial be a tool of mockery and harassment? It sounds stupid, but like I said, at some point the jokes cease being light and funny, and all that comes through is hostility. Maybe you should stop before you cross that line. [sub]It’s even worse on a message board, where people will cheerfully risk offending strangers in an attempt to look funny or superior.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![drewbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drewbert/32/15890_2.png) [@drewbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewbert)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/10 "2003-04-14T12:56:24Z")
What **AudreyK** said. I don’t know why, but the topic of platform choice is like religion or politics. Discuss it carefully, or not at all. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/11 "2003-04-14T12:59:37Z")
There’s got to be at least one joke involving right-clicking. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/12 "2003-04-14T15:15:59Z")
You know you’re a Mac addict when… …you warn your friends to pet your iMac with the vent slots, not against them. …you try to find the finder on your TV clicker. …you correct people in Great Debates who say you’re being “too PC” about something by explaining that you could only be “too Mac”. And that that’s impossible anyhow. …you can recognize any model of Mac in the dark just by hearing its boot chime. ---
**Author:** ![pestie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e5b9ba/32.png) [@pestie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pestie)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/13 "2003-04-14T20:28:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*There’s got to be at least one joke involving right-clicking. \*\* Back in high school one guy of my group of friends was a Mac fanatic (and had moved to Massachusetts from Berkeley, CA. Coincidence? I think not!) This was back in the late 80’s, before Macs ever had multi-button mice. I coined the slogan, “One button, one choice - the communist mouse, from Apple.” ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/14 "2003-04-14T21:11:56Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by yosemitebabe \* > \*\* > Oh, and by the way, you didn’t answer my question: Which computer (Mac or PC) is better for Final Cut Pro?_\* A suped up PC running a Mac emulator, of course. 😃 (Yeah, the OP could have been a touch more diplomatic, but really **yosemitebabe** , I think you take this issue a little too personally. I think it’s clear that “it’s obvious that the PC is anyway” was meant as a joke.) ---
**Author:** ![rayray5884](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/57b2e6/32.png) [@rayray5884](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayray5884)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/15 "2003-04-14T21:26:59Z")
At least someone saw that as a joke. And I’m sure I could have been a little more diplomatic. Good answer BlackKnight, I don’t think I could have put it any better myself. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/16 "2003-04-14T21:45:14Z")
'Twouldn’t work\* , but at least you could run Nisus Writer and BBEdit. Hey, who says PCs are only useful as doorstops? 😉 Gotta admit, Basilisk is pretty cool. Do you run a Mac env on PC, **BlackKnight**? (\* no PowerPC emulation available amongst Mac emulators for the PC, no 68K version of FCP, if I recall correctly) ---
**Author:** ![viking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@viking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/viking)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/17 "2003-04-14T23:12:59Z")
Speaking of BBedit, is there a real text editor out there for windows? I never know what to recommend to my deluded colleagues who insist on running inferior operating systems 🙂 [/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/18 "2003-04-14T23:17:36Z")
RayRay, BlackKnight: There are these things called _smileys_. One smiley after the “it’s obvious PCs are better” would have been quite helpful, since it’s often hard to detect a tongue in cheek comment without it. And yes, rayray could have been more diplomatic, to be sure! Like Audrey says, like a lot of us say, this platform war thing is getting old, especially from our perspective. We’re used to getting stupid, petty and absurd comments from other people, for no reason other than they somehow feel they have a stake in what computer someone else uses. Which is pretty lame-ass, if you ask me. And yes, AHunter3 is right. No PC can run Final Cut Pro right now. Not even with emulation. And AHunter3: great jokes! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/19 "2003-04-14T23:23:34Z")
I ran across this little video, and it seems appropriate to the discussion. [Games? What games?](http://webdev.o1.com/rvb/movies/switch/RvB_switch.mov) ---
**Author:** ![Caught\_Work](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/20 "2003-04-14T23:23:56Z")
So if the war is getting old, maybe that stick should be extracted and you can be the better person and move on without jumping right in and lobbing a hand grenade or two. Sheesh. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583.md?page=2)