# Apple Computer User Jokes **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 14, 2003, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583 "2003-04-14T06:41:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/21 "2003-04-14T23:28:19Z")
I was on AIM with my sister one night - she’s a Machead, I’m a PC-holic. She told me how much she liked her Mac. I told her Macs were OK, but that more programmers wrote programs for the PC than wrote programs for the Mac. She retorted: “Yeah, bro, but my Mac doesn’t get viruses from e-mails like your PC does!” I triumphantly typed: “AH HA! You see, virus writers don’t even support Macs!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![viking](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/bc79bd/32.png) [@viking](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/viking)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/22 "2003-04-15T00:07:22Z")
'Course, now that macs run unix, that’s where the real programmers write stuff. If you can get it to compile. Which is not always easy. In my (long) experience in the OS trench wars, the only non-refutable argument in favour of windows is that there are more games available for widows. So much for the **Mac** being a toy 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Punoqllads](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d2c977/32.png) [@Punoqllads](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Punoqllads)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/23 "2003-04-15T00:21:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AHunter3 \* > You know you’re a Mac addict when… > > …you can recognize any model of Mac in the dark just by hearing its boot chime. Hmm…Wild Eep, 1993. A good year for wild eeps. I guess that’s an error tone, though, not the boot chime. And, anyone else remember “Computer! Shut down! Yes!” ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/24 "2003-04-15T00:56:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Caught@Work \* > \*\*So if the war is getting old, maybe that stick should be extracted and you can be the better person and move on without jumping right in and lobbing a hand grenade or two. Sheesh. \*\* Or maybe the person making the jokes should just shut up? Tell me-- what do you think of people who take great pleasure in telling the same weak knock-knock jokes over and over again? What would you think of someone who played the same lame pranks on you time and time again? Wouldn’t you get sick of it after the third or fourth time? Wouldn’t you want them to stop? Wouldn’t you say something, sooner or later? Or would you just shut up and do nothing? Mac users can ignore the jokes, but that only goes so far in stopping the war. If PC users don’t catch the hint and quit talking smack, what’s been accomplished? Silently taking the barbs does not improve things, nor does it equal stopping the war. It’s a two way street. ---
**Author:** ![Balduran](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/cc9497/32.png) [@Balduran](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balduran)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/25 "2003-04-15T01:49:56Z")
Jeez, I can’t believe how serious some people have been taking this thread. Not everyone in the world cares so much about figging computers that they would consider jokes about the friends computer as a war. Yes I know there have been some real knock-down fights in here. But the OP and this guy are buddies who kid each other. Sorry, I don’t know any MAC jokes, I was looking forward to reading some. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/26 "2003-04-15T02:04:26Z")
Mac user myself, but I have no problem with these jokes (hey, if jokes make y’all feel better about your OS, more power to you). I remember reading some great ones on the webcomic [www.pvponline.com](http://www.pvponline.com). You’ll probably have to search the archives. I do remember one that went something like: Mac user: Name one thing that your PC can do that my Mac can’t! PC user: How about… write a file to a floppy. Mac user: Two things! I’m sure you can work something like that in. (of course, many PCs don’t have floppy drives anymore, so maybe the time for that joke has passed.) ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/27 "2003-04-15T03:21:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Balduran \* > Jeez, I can’t believe how serious some people have been taking this thread. Not everyone in the world cares so much about figging computers that they would consider jokes about the friends computer as a war. But some people do. Their antics prompted this [thread started by Fenris](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=73951). And knowing the history of this board with past knock-down-drag-out platform fights, there’s no way to predict whether this thread will turn into one or not. I’ve got a friend who is a Mac-hater, and likes to make jokes about my Mac. Sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes the jokes seem to be a thinly veiled insult and an implication that I’m a flake or impractical or something because I use a Mac. Not all jokes are created equal. And I think that it’s interesting that the OP specifically seems to not want this to be a Mac _and_ PC joke thread. I personally don’t see why it shouldn’t be. (And I don’t see how he can stop of from sharing the PC jokes anyway.) I mean, after all, and it’s all in good fun, right? I’m sure there are some really funny Windows jokes. (For example, [here’s](http://home.iae.nl/users/paul/comic/emperor.gif) a cute one about Windows 95. There was a Flash movie I discovered once that was _hilarious_, but damned if I can find it now!) I mean, really. There are great jokes out there for both platforms, so let’s all join in the fun! Also, I don’t think any of us were “lobbing hand grenades” on this thread. Were we somewhat peeved? Anticipating more of the same bullshit that we get all the time? Yes. But I see no enraged flaming or anything. This is not the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/28 "2003-04-15T03:40:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by drewbert \* > \*\*What **AudreyK** said. I don’t know why, but the topic of platform choice is like religion or politics. Discuss it carefully, or not at all. \*\* More so, actually. I have a feeling I could make a joke about finding the ‘one true religion’ without having someone post “And just **what** did you mean by that?” within the hour. > [@](#): > > _originally posted by AudreyK_ > Or maybe the person making the jokes should just shut up? > > Tell me-- what do you think of people who take great pleasure in telling the same weak knock-knock jokes over and over again? I think they start lots of threads asking people to post their favorite dumb jokes, as in many of these threads: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/search.php?s=&action=showresults&searchid=553985&sortby=lastpost&sortorder=descending](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/search.php?s=&action=showresults&searchid=553985&sortby=lastpost&sortorder=descending) Tell me–what do you think of people who open a thread titled “Apple Computer User Jokes” and get offended that people are telling jokes about Apple computers and their users? ---
**Author:** ![Caught\_Work](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Caught\_Work](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caught_Work)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/29 "2003-04-15T03:42:57Z")
OK, so you were somewhat peeved, this is IMHO and someone was looking for jokes, but you had to jump on them, after they made a joke. Furthermore, someone, somewhere has to stop listening first and getting on the high horse doesn’t help, it exacerbates. Maybe rather than hijacking the thread even more, you should take off to the Pit and complain about the platforms there. Or maybe I should. FWIW I’ve used a MAC and a PC and I have no problems with people who use either, so maybe I shouldn’t. ---
**Author:** ![rayray5884](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/57b2e6/32.png) [@rayray5884](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayray5884)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/30 "2003-04-15T04:29:30Z")
Well I’m sorry for offending anyone who thought I might be out to start an OS war. Really all I wanted were a few stupid/corny jokes that would get laugh from my friend. We really dont have a problem with each others OS and it’s all in good fun. **yosemitebabe** heres your smiley…😉 Again this was not meant to be an OS war thread, I really could care less what platform everyone has. I was just looking for a few stupid mac jokes and if you’d like to include some windows jokes go right ahead. In fact I think the flash **yosemitebabe** was looking for is here [Windows RG](http://www.drunkdog.net/flash/windows_rg.swf) ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/31 "2003-04-15T04:38:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AHunter3 \* > **Gotta admit, Basilisk is pretty cool. Do you run a Mac env on PC, BlackKnight?** I used to. One night I was bored and decided I should familiarize myself with the Macintosh platform a little better. I hadn’t used a Mac since gradeschool. I installed Basilisk and got it working but I never really used it much, so it eventually got deleted when I did one of my yearly cleaning up of my harddrive. It was pretty neat though; a fun experiment. > [@](#): > > \*\* > (\* no PowerPC emulation available amongst Mac emulators for the PC, no 68K version of FCP, if I recall correctly) \*\* Depends how many nits we want to pick. 😃 There are apparantly PowerPC emulators for the PC out there, but they’re not available commercially. ---
**Author:** ![rayray5884](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/57b2e6/32.png) [@rayray5884](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rayray5884)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/32 "2003-04-15T04:39:41Z")
By the way **[t-bonham@scc.net](mailto:t-bonham@scc.net)** the apple user is gay. ---
**Author:** ![Geek\_Mecha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecae2f/32.png) [@Geek\_Mecha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geek_Mecha)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 9:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/33 "2003-04-15T09:18:17Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Balduran_ > Jeez, I can’t believe how serious some people have been taking this thread. Not everyone in the world cares so much about figging computers that they would consider jokes about the friends computer as a war. If you’re talking about what I said, you’re misunderstanding. I never said I considered my friends’ comments as part of a war. I was referring to the _platform_ war. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Sublight_ > Tell me–what do you think of people who open a thread titled “Apple Computer User Jokes” and get offended that people are telling jokes about Apple computers and their users? :sigh: You have a point, and a good one at that. I read the part about the jokes being all in good fun, and, like I said, sometimes it’s not taken that way. I wanted to advise that maybe this topic isn’t one to be joked about too much. I didn’t see that as getting on some high horse, as **CanvasShoes** called it. But I do see how I could have rained on **rayray** ’s parade. And for that, I apologize. To make up for it, here’s a page of [Mac jokes](http://members.tripod.com/~breal/zjoke63.html). Tripod site, so there are popups. **CanvasShoes** , I think it’s obvious, based on what I’ve said, that I’m not interested in complaining about platforms. Been there, done that, got the shrapnel. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/34 "2003-04-15T09:39:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by yosemitebabe \* > **And knowing the history of this board with past knock-down-drag-out platform fights, there’s no way to predict whether this thread will turn into one or not.** Oh, but there is: I _assure_ you it won’t turn into a platform war in _this_ forum. Look, people: I’ll admit it. I don’t understand “platform wars”. I don’t get it - the religious devotion some people show towards a relatively unimportant tool as a computer OS. But if some want to joke about it, that’s fine with me. I don’t see how the OP did anything wrong, and I don’t see the need to be overly PC (ha!) about it by making it an equal-opportunity joke thread. I mean, if you want to make PC jokes as well as Mac jokes, be my guest, but I don’t see how the restrictions of the OP are bad per se. He just wants to have some fun. Nothing wrong with that. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/35 "2003-04-15T10:18:59Z")
**AudreyK** : I admit, there are people who take it beyond joking and start treating OS choice as a personal religious issue, and that’s going too far. Still, unlike race, sex, ethnicity or religion, nobody was born a Mac user, and no one was raised a Windows user as part of the family heritage (although this may become an interesting social issue in 10 or 20 years). Strangers on the street can’t see what OS you use, and nobody gets turned down by a landlord because they don’t want Linux users coming into the neighborhood. Computer/OS type is something that we all choose based on what best suits our own needs and likes, rather than something that’s inherently linked to our identities. If you’re confident of your reasons for choosing your OS, then the jokes shouldn’t be that big a deal. As for me: Mac? Well, that was something my friends and I experimented with in college a little bit, but we don’t really talk about it now. 😉 Peace. ---
**Author:** ![Hoops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoops/32/6408_2.png) [@Hoops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoops)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/36 "2003-04-15T10:37:31Z")
Well, as per the title of this thread–as opposed to the intention of the OP to solicit ammo for joshing Macophiles–[here’s](http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/) some Mac-related humor, though I suppose it’s probably pretty boring for those who really don’t care about Macs. ---
**Author:** ![Hoops](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoops/32/6408_2.png) [@Hoops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoops)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/37 "2003-04-15T10:55:03Z")
Well, as per the title of this thread–as opposed to the intention of the OP to solicit ammo for joshing Macophiles–[here’s](http://www.crazyapplerumors.com/) some Mac-related humor, though I suppose it’s probably pretty boring for those who really don’t care about Macs. ---
**Author:** ![Scuba\_Ben](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/278dde/32.png) [@Scuba\_Ben](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scuba_Ben)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/38 "2003-04-15T13:32:14Z")
Getting back to the OP, here’s an oldie but goodie. How many Mac users does it take to change a light bulb? None, they have to replace the entire motherboard. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/39 "2003-04-15T15:50:19Z")
By the same token: how many Windows users does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just deal with it until Bill Gates changes the standard to darkness. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583/40 "2003-04-15T16:55:25Z")
How many Mac Users does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb in place and waits for the world to revolve around him. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apple-computer-user-jokes/168583.md?page=3)