# Appropriate behavior, or not? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 26, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995 "2002-12-26T18:14:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/21 "2002-12-26T19:51:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by merge \* > Well it is not really rude… they are just having fun… so since its “fun” its not rude??so If I see a kid laughing/taunting at a fat person its not rude 'cause he’s having"fun" > [@](#): > > Jay Leno even does a skit like this… his questions are normal… but the people he asks are always really dumb… so he tries to make an ass out of them… So Leno does it so its ok? what about the things they **dont** show you, you know what they referr to as **editing** > [@](#): > > It is not what you would want your child doing… I understand that… but I would much rather have my daughter doing that then what I was doing when I was in high school… A rationalization,just because you may or may not have tipped the bottle or smoked a little hooch doesn’t make this rude behavior ok in my book. I see too much rudeness in teens nowadays…things that would have gotten _my_ ass kicked. If theres a question of something being rude(especially something like this) ,its better to play it safe. You never know how a person will react,even in a “safe” place like a mall… ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/22 "2002-12-26T19:57:25Z")
It sounds rude to me. If I had kids doing that, I’d take the camera away from them. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/23 "2002-12-26T20:04:26Z")
**Hastur** , I agree wholeheartedly with you. And it’d be a long time before Mini2U saw that camera again if that was how he behaved with it. I don’t particularly CARE if someone “felt enriched by having interacted with my oh so precocious teen who thank God isn’t having sex or doing drugs but just being rude and pushy in public” - it’s rude (in my opinion) and disrespectful and frankly I think I have the right not to be out going about my business without some kids (or anyone for that matter) interrupting me with or without a video camera to ask me a question about ANYTHING. Period. My age is 36. And yes, I’m cranky today. How could you tell? ---
**Author:** ![NailBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ecae2f/32.png) [@NailBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NailBunny)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/24 "2002-12-26T20:45:59Z")
I think it sounds like a pretty cool idea. I mean, if she’s asking them really inappropriate questions, that’s a totally different story. But just approaching strangers and asking their opinions about things…how is that any more rude than being interviewed by a reporter for a newspaper or television program? If they don’t like it, they can just say “Please leave me alone” or “No comment” or something like that. I mean, jesus, me and my friends used to go downtown armed with Super Soakers and ominously pump them while looking at strangers and saying in loud voices “HOT TODAY, ISN’T IT?” Kids do weird things, and what she’s doing could at least spark an interest in something she could do later in life as a career. ---
**Author:** ![merge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9f8e36/32.png) [@merge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/merge)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/25 "2002-12-26T20:47:14Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Tony Montana \* > [@](#): > > so since its “fun” its not rude??so If I see a kid laughing/taunting at a fat person its not rude 'cause he’s having"fun" No that is not what that means… they did not say the kids are callin people fat, they said the kids were “asking nonsensical questions” that is not rude… that can be fun… why do you almost seem to be taking this personally… > [@](#): > > So Leno does it so its ok? what about the things they dont show you, you know what they referr to as editing but they still do it right?? maybe the kids will edit out all of the people who don’t pay attention to them… but you don’t know if they do or not… and Leno exploits these people on tv for the entertainment of millions… but a few kids are the real problem here??? > [@](#): > > A rationalization,just because you may or may not have tipped the bottle or smoked a little hooch doesn’t make this rude behavior ok in my book. you would rather have you child out drinking, and doing drugs rather than have them videotape random people??? I wasn’t talking about being rude… I would just rather have my child ask stupid questions to random people than do drugs with random people… ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/26 "2002-12-26T20:47:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Hastur \* > **It sounds rude to me.** Just exactly _what_ sounds rude to you? You don’t have any idea what they are _actually_ doing. All you know is that they ask silly questions such as “what photo would you put on you electric toothbrush?” Do you really consider it rude for teenagers to approach a third party, and ask “We’re asking people questions and video taping it, would it be okay for us to video tape you answering some questions?”, especially when the questions are evidently of the goofy type rather than accusatory or inappropriate such as, “have you stopped beating your wife?” or “what is your mom’s favorite sexual position?”? Are you making judgements based on _your_ assumptions, or on some information given in the thread that I have missed? If it’s the latter, please tell me what information you are basing your judgement on; if it’s the former, well, then I just don’t know what to say–except that if you kids think you are arbitrary and unfair, I can’t help but think that they’re right. ---
**Author:** ![Frank\_2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8c91f0/32.png) [@Frank\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank_2)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/27 "2002-12-26T20:52:30Z")
If someone with a video camera jumped in my face at a mall and asked me “What picture would you have on your electric toothbrush?” I would simply walk away. And the people who have been taped by the young girls had this option as well, they just chose not to exercise it. **Is it rude?** If the girls do not ask for permission first, then “yes” **Is it humiliating?** I don’t think so. It seems similar to a stranger having a picture of me and laughing about it. I don’t know them, will probably never see them, and it really will never affect me. ---
**Author:** ![KSO](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f07891/32.png) [@KSO](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KSO)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/28 "2002-12-26T20:53:35Z")
I’m in the it-depends-on-how-they-do-it camp: obnoxious ambush=bad, polite but silly, with permission to tape first=ok. ---
**Author:** ![yosemite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/3ab097/32.png) [@yosemite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yosemite)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/29 "2002-12-26T21:03:49Z")
I agree with others that if the kids approach the people and politely ask, “Can we ask you some questions while taping you?” then the obnoxiousness factor goes way down. It still seems like a useless excersize, but as long as consent is given, and the question are harmless and not intrusive or insulting…it’s not _too_ bad. However, I think the words “useless excersize” is the key here. Is this the best way for these kids to spend their time? They are annoying strangers, or at least wasting these people’s time. And I agree with others here who question the prudence of approaching strangers on the street anyway. You never know how people will react, even if they are merely asked some nonsensical questions. ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/30 "2002-12-26T21:08:23Z")
As long as you’re asking for opinions, I agree w/ KSO’s take. I’m 43. ---
**Author:** ![japatlgt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df705f/32.png) [@japatlgt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/japatlgt)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/31 "2002-12-26T21:19:37Z")
Sounds like a **Jackass** encouraged form of “entertainment” which is in extremely poor taste. If they’re seriously interested in amateur videography or what have you then their approach would have much to do with what ethics are involved. If it’s a smart-ass kid **Jackass** or **Jerkyboy** kind of stunt (which is in “vogue”) I’d love to dash their camera to bits and scare the absolute hell out them. Of course, that is essentially the desired reaction of this type of phenomena. I would guess that most folks would prefer to not be accosted in this fashion and just drift along in their private, mannered world. Seems reasonable. Does it vaguely remind anyone of the kids that were riding around shooting people with paintball guns, swinging ball bats at them, etc., and videotaping their expressions? The kids were just having a laugh riot over it (until they were caught!). When I was a child I was taught rather sternly that it’s “not polite to stare.” I think there is a good lesson in there somewhere. I’m thinking “Kids on the loose at the mall with video cameras?” Nope. Don’t like it. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/32 "2002-12-26T21:23:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by merge \* > \*\*No that is not what that means… they did not say the kids are callin people fat, they said the kids were “asking nonsensical questions” that is not rude… that can be fun… AAHH but to _me_ its rude…_they_ are imposing their “fun” on _me_ Fun and rude are not mutually exclusive > [@](#): > > but they still do it right?? maybe the kids will edit out all of the people who don’t pay attention to them… Im sure Leno’s staff edits out the people who tell the camera crew to F\*%ck-off. You know those who think an ambush with a camera is RUDE. thats what were talking about here,correct? > [@](#): > > you would rather have you child out drinking, and doing drugs rather than have them videotape random people??? > I wasn’t talking about being rude… I would just rather have my child ask stupid questions to random people than do drugs with random people… Sure ok Ill play, IF IT WERE ONE OR THE OTHER.But that is excusing (read:rationalizing)rude behavior. I dont buy the arguement “we’ll they COULD be doing crack and whoring themselves for crack money” Its RUDE and INAPPROPRIATE (read:OP)to me and others here. If there’s a question (and there apparently IS) of this behavior being rude my kids aren’t doing it,period. ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/33 "2002-12-26T21:28:07Z")
I was just going to post and move on, but then I noticed y-babe’s post. Jeez people, as long as they’re getting people to consent to being part of the fun, where IS the harm? Furthermore, in my opinion, no, this is not a useless excercise. I think that kids are self-absorbed and destructive because they don’t interact with others outside their peer group. An activity like this is a lot more constructive then spending the day at the same mall shopping all day (or worse). I think a lot of posters are not really thinking this through before they scream, “Rude brats!” I can see how this can be done 100% inoffensively. If I’m at a mall, say, waiting for a friend to try on something, and a group of three non-threatening teenagers ask to “interview” me on camera about whether straight fries are better than curly fries I’d say they were doing me a favor helping me kill time in a socially-inoffensive way. Even if I were too busy to comply, I’d just say, “Some other time kids. Gotta go now.” Absolutely, positively no harm or rudeness is being done here IF the kids are going about this in the right way. ---
**Author:** ![Debaser](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3da27b/32.png) [@Debaser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Debaser)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/34 "2002-12-26T21:34:47Z")
I’m 26. What they are doing is rude. **Dinsdale** doesn’t sound like he is out of line by saying so. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/35 "2002-12-26T21:43:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stuyguy \* > \*\*I was just going to post and move on, but then I noticed y-babe’s post. > Absolutely, positively no harm or rudeness is being done here IF the kids are going about this in the right way. \*\* I agree but seems like my interactions with the young folk are _always_ [negative](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=152720). **when** did I become the adult the kids have to get smart with? ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/36 "2002-12-26T21:51:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Debaser \* > \*\*Dinsdale doesn’t sound like he is out of line by saying so. \*\* I couldn’t disagree more. Whether the exercise is rude is entirely dependent on how they go about doing it, a key piece of information that **Dinsdale** hasn’t provided. Perhaps he knows the kids well enough and is basing his judgement on info we don’t have, but it doesn’t sound that way. Some things can be done politely or rudely, and no one has offered any reason to assume that this was done one way or the other. Chit-chatting with strangers and playing along with their games can be very fun and pleasant. No evidence has been given to conclude that what was done was done maliciously. It has been _assumed_ that what has been done has been done maliciously, i.e. teen agers are doing it therefore it must be bad. I can picture some of the people in this thread as senior citizens, “Oh my stars. I never go to the mall, there’s _teenagers_ there. We might be _menaced_. When I hear them laugh, I just _know_ they’re going to try to steal my purse!” ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/37 "2002-12-26T21:54:15Z")
> [@](#): > > If I’m at a mall, say, waiting for a friend to try on something, and a group of three non-threatening teenagers ask to “interview” me on camera If I read the OP correctly, there is no indication that these kids are asking permission before they “roll tape”. If they aren’t asking, I’d apply the golden rule here. I would not want someone to stick an uninvited video camera in my face, therefore, I wouldn’t do it (or let my kids do it) either. If they are only videotaping with permission, that’s fine. As for defending their behavior by saying there are worse things they could be doing, I don’t really buy that. Certainly there are worse things, but there are also better things. If my teenager and her friends wanted to be creative with a video camera, I’d suggest they write a screen play or some such, then tape it. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/38 "2002-12-26T22:18:55Z")
Thanks everyone for your opinions. I guess I should have asked precisely how they went about confronting folk. If and how they asked permission, etc. I know the girl very well - they live one town over from us, and she and my daughter are the same age and quite friendly. My suspicion is that they were looking for confusion on behalf of their interviewees. I have a hard time imagining them or many other high schoolers providing full disclosure that they were going to be asking nonsense. Even if they said “May we ask you some questions,” I think it is likely that many folk would become confused or upset when the questions seemed nonsensical. This is a far cry from asking questions for a documentary or school project or such. On another facet, it appears as tho at least a significant percentage of people would not appreciate being approached in this manner. Should that have any bearing on whether or not you dissuade your kid from doing it? I feel that in a polite society, it is generally best to err on the side of inoffensiveness. But you are correct - I did not request the specific info. And the girl and her parents did not offer it. Instead, they kept repeating versions of, “It didn’t hurt anyone.” ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/39 "2002-12-26T22:33:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dinsdale \* > **I feel that in a polite society, it is generally best to err on the side of inoffensiveness.** Good point. Thanks for bringing it up. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2002, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995/40 "2002-12-26T22:37:37Z")
I’ll also add that the “but at least they’re not drinking/having sex/doing drugs/felching goats/etc.” excuse doesn’t hold water with me either. The teens in question could _instead_ be volunteering at a soup kitchen or senior center, reading, watching movies, or, as stated, writing screenplays to film with their camcorder, rather than running up to people and babbling things like “Do French fries come out on negative Thursdays, or kibble not?” and taping the poor confused folks for their later viewing amusement. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriate-behavior-or-not/144995.md?page=3)