# Appropriateness of an employee flirting with a customer/client **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 26, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014 "2009-01-26T04:25:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Pollux\_Oil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/858c86/32.png) [@Pollux\_Oil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pollux_Oil)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/1 "2009-01-26T04:25:02Z")
So I was having this discussion with a friend of mine and was wondering what you all think. As I’m working in retail a lot of customers come and go. Some are regulars, some just show up once and you never see again. Some are in-between. Some of these somebodies are attractive. How appropriate is it for an employee to flirt with or hit on a customer they’re helping? I feel like there’s a little bit of sketchiness to it, but on the other hand I don’t think it’s bad for a customer to flirt with an employee. One of my co-workers has already successfully gotten the phone number of one female regular that is in the store about once a week, which is what brought me to discuss this with my friend. My friend says that he’d never do it because he’d feel weird. An example I can give is that there was a young woman I was ringing up last week and she had absolutely gorgeous sea green eyes. Some of the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen. Is it wrong for me to say something like “Here’s your receipt. By the way, you have very pretty eyes.”? If you were shopping and an employee at the store said that to you, would you be flattered or weirded out? ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/2 "2009-01-26T04:27:57Z")
In retail? Why not? I mean you don’t want to be, ‘that guy’, who flirts with everyone, but you might as well. I once got a job at a grocery store cuz I wanted to get with another cashier. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/3 "2009-01-26T04:28:12Z")
Flattered because I haven’t gotten any action in years, but otherwise weirded out. You’re being paid to work, not hit on customers. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/4 "2009-01-26T05:24:16Z")
It’s retail, which is one of the least serious jobs you can possibly have (I’ve worked retail and I don’t mean this as a slight, it’s just the truth). As long as you follow the same rules of courtesy/respect that you would in any other social situation you might find yourself flirting, it’s really no big deal. In a line of work that has a more “delicate” relationship between its employees and clientele, like say a law firm or a hospital, I would have a different answer. ---
**Author:** ![PopeJewish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@PopeJewish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PopeJewish)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/5 "2009-01-26T05:30:45Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > It’s retail, which is one of the least serious jobs you can possibly have (I’ve worked retail and I don’t mean this as a slight, it’s just the truth). As long as you follow the same rules of courtesy/respect that you would in any other social situation you might find yourself flirting, it’s really no big deal. > > In a line of work that has a more “delicate” relationship between its employees and clientele, like say a law firm or a hospital, I would have a different answer. I agree with this. But don’t go overboard because you don’ t want to weird the customer out at all. From the other end of it, as a customer, I’ve flirted with many store employees before. In fact just yesterday I wrote my number on a receipt and gave it back to a rather cute little employee 😛 We have a date on wednesday 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/6 "2009-01-26T05:35:06Z")
Meh, an offhand comment like “by the way, you have really pretty eyes”? I’d just see that as being kind, I mean it may be flirting but it’s not realistically going to lead to anything because they don’t want to hold up the line. I’d say don’t push flirting into “actively flirting” unless the customer is semi-regular though. If they’re just their once because they happened to be on that side of town a nice comment is good, active flirting not so much. However if they’re there every week I’d feel more comfortable going a little farther because you know them a little more personally. ---
**Author:** ![Chase\_Ransom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@Chase\_Ransom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chase_Ransom)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/7 "2009-01-26T05:43:04Z")
I agree with Rigamarole as well. It is also a matter of luck/intuition. You might hit on someone who for lack of a better word is an asshole, and decides that he/she is offended, and proceeds to report you to a superior. You might get a “I can’t believe this idiot is hitting on me look” and that will be the end of it. You might get a polite “thank you” and thats that. You might get a conversation going and a phone number. I don’t think its much different that any other place - it depends on who you are hitting on and what lines you are using. I would not recommend anything to harsh. A “btw, you have very beautiful eyes” I think is a harmless and kind compliment. Unlike a “you have a sweet ass and it makes me want to chew my way through your pants”. That could get you fired. You get my point. You should have told her she had gorgeous eyes. Final note: The risk is for male employees. I cant imagine a guy complaining to the manager that a female employee was flirting with him - even if she is ass ugly. ---
**Author:** ![uglybeech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/82dd89/32.png) [@uglybeech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/uglybeech)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/8 "2009-01-26T05:59:28Z")
That could go either way - charming or creepy as hell. Depends on the person and the delivery. If you’re the type of person to give off a Jeffrey Dahmer vibe because you’re a nervous geek, then you probably want to avoid admiring body parts. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/9 "2009-01-26T09:34:01Z")
Flirting with the customers is what makes working in retail bearable! Telling someone they have beautiful eyes as an opener seems a bit creepy to me. What would seem more natural would be something like: “Hey, you look great today, you going somewhere special?” which could lead to “Well, that top looks great on you, really brings out the colour of your eyes.” ---
**Author:** ![Karyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/fbc32d/32.png) [@Karyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karyn)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/10 "2009-01-26T14:06:16Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > As long as you follow the same rules of courtesy/respect that you would in any other social situation you might find yourself flirting, it’s really no big deal. > > In a line of work that has a more “delicate” relationship between its employees and clientele, like say a law firm or a hospital, I would have a different answer. I agree with this, but I’d wait until after she got to the register to openly flirt, otherwise it’s likely to come off as a sales pitch and that would annoy me. Once I hit a certain level in my career my rule of thumb was to never flirt with anyone from a company that we held a contract with until the contract was completed. There’s nothing like calling in a guy that you’ve been flirting with for a year to read him the riot act on behalf of his company and threaten litigation. And of course, never, ever flirt with your employees. Flirting with your boss is often a very stupid idea too, at least it is if you don’t feel like justifying every promotion that you get over and over. ---
**Author:** ![flyboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@flyboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flyboy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/11 "2009-01-26T14:33:54Z")
I also agree with \*\*Rigamarole \*\*, and was never afraid to flirt when I was working retail. I never actually asked anyone out, but I probably should have. There’s nothing wrong with it unless you aren’t good at flirting–then, as has been mentioned, you’ll come across in a bad way. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/12 "2009-01-26T14:50:47Z")
I would say flirting is always okay, but you might want to go with flirting lite. In that mode you would not mention a physical attribute, such as eyes, but rather pick something else out (glasses? earrings?) to complement. Obviously, in respect to all customers, you don’t spend a long time flirting with one customer while another one is waiting. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/13 "2009-01-26T15:32:03Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > Telling someone they have beautiful eyes as an opener seems a bit creepy to me. What would seem more natural would be something like: “Hey, you look great today, you going somewhere special?” which could lead to “Well, that top looks great on you, really brings out the colour of your eyes.” Second this. Nothing like a creepy clerk to keep someone from ever going back to a specific store. Also, and she may be in the minority here, but a friend of mine has the biggest, greenest eyes I’ve ever seen. Just stunning. And she is fucking tired of hearing about them. Oh, and obviously the whole flirting thing works best if the female customer is sure you’re gay. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/14 "2009-01-26T15:40:21Z")
> [@Pollux\_Oil](#): > > An example I can give is that there was a young woman I was ringing up last week and she had absolutely gorgeous sea green eyes. Some of the prettiest eyes I’ve ever seen. Is it wrong for me to say something like “Here’s your receipt. By the way, you have very pretty eyes.”? If you were shopping and an employee at the store said that to you, would you be flattered or weirded out? I had a similar experience years ago when I used to smoke. One of the women who often took smoke breaks with me had the most amazing violet (some kind of really dark blue) eyes. One day my curiosity got the better of me and I said, “look I know they have colored contacts now. Are they your real irises or what?” She just laughed and told me they were colored contacts. I told her they looked great. We are still friends. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/15 "2009-01-26T15:51:51Z")
I should add that there are very few situations where I think it is wrong to flirt. When I was psych nursing I didn’t flirt with patients. Flirting with the SO of a friend is verboten unless the friend is there. Flirting with married women is kind of tacky unless you are just passing the time. Just avoid drunks, it seems like flirting but … ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/16 "2009-01-26T16:02:05Z")
> [@Chase\_Ransom](#): > > I agree with Rigamarole as well. It is also a matter of luck/intuition. You might hit on someone who for lack of a better word is an asshole, and decides that he/she is offended, and proceeds to report you to a superior. You might get a “I can’t believe this idiot is hitting on me look” and that will be the end of it. You might get a polite “thank you” and thats that. You might get a conversation going and a phone number. I don’t think its much different that any other place - it depends on who you are hitting on and what lines you are using. > > I would not recommend anything to harsh. A “btw, you have very beautiful eyes” I think is a harmless and kind compliment. Unlike a “you have a sweet ass and it makes me want to chew my way through your pants”. That could get you fired. You get my point. > > You should have told her she had gorgeous eyes. > > Final note: The risk is for male employees. I cant imagine a guy complaining to the manager that a female employee was flirting with him - even if she is ass ugly. The comment on chewing through pants almost made me snort coffee out my nose. What a visual! Anyway, I would third this sentiment. As long as you’re not leering at her breasts while you’re making the comment, violating personal space and/or saying something way too personal, you should be in the clear. For what it’s worth, I’m female and usually appreciate harmless banter or compliments unless they’re delivered with a side of threatening or overtly sexual behavior or body language. ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/17 "2009-01-26T16:44:48Z")
One voice of dissent coming up! I would find it wrong and creepy. Cashiers should ring up my items and process the transaction with no other fuss. I too have worked retail and can’t imagine flirting with the customers. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/18 "2009-01-26T16:48:25Z")
It’s entirely inappropriate & unprofessional to flirt with the customers while on the clock. If you see them in the mall, you can knock yourself out. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/19 "2009-01-26T19:24:14Z")
There’s a big difference between “flirting” and “hitting on.” As someone above said, “flirting lite” is usually okay. It’s one way of having a pleasant interaction. Of course, you should make sure the customer is receptive. I imagine that when **Antinor01** is at a cash register, he isn’t giving off “friendly” vibes. It comes down to social skills. If you feel like you can’t read a person will in that situation, you should err on the side of caution. > [@don\_t\_ask](#): > > I had a similar experience years ago when I used to smoke. One of the women who often took smoke breaks with me had the most amazing violet (some kind of really dark blue) eyes. One day my curiosity got the better of me and I said, “look I know they have colored contacts now. Are they your real irises or what?” She just laughed and told me they were colored contacts. I told her they looked great. We are still friends. Totally different situation. If she went to the trouble of wearing colored contacts, then she was specifically looking for people to notice her eyes. If she got sick of the attention, she could stop wearing them. The green-eyed lady didn’t have that option. ---
**Author:** ![somepumpkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@somepumpkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/somepumpkin)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/20 "2009-01-26T19:36:47Z")
I think most people are okay with flirting. Creepiness… not so much. I’d say it matters how much the sale is worth. If it’s a US$2,000 sale, and you might offend the customer, i’d keep my mouth shut. If it’s a US$19.00 ink cartridge, why not. Ask yourself, “What have i got to lose?”. The answer to that question may guide you. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014.md?page=2)