# Appropriateness of an employee flirting with a customer/client **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 26, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014 "2009-01-26T04:25:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/21 "2009-01-26T19:59:57Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > There’s a big difference between “flirting” and “hitting on.” As someone above said, “flirting lite” is usually okay. It’s one way of having a pleasant interaction. > > Of course, you should make sure the customer is receptive. I imagine that when **Antinor01** is at a cash register, he isn’t giving off “friendly” vibes. It comes down to social skills. If you feel like you can’t read a person will in that situation, you should err on the side of caution. I’m perfectly friendly and will chat, but I expect efficient service and I expect to not be flirted with by my cashier. I choose self serve checkout when possible for that very reason. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/22 "2009-01-26T20:03:49Z")
And if you don’t know how to flirt, or can’t read the signals, or aren’t in the same social group, or whatever, don’t try. Not flirting at all is far better than appearing creepy. Appearing creepy or inappropriate has such a great downside in a work setting that it’s far better to err on the safe side and just be businesslike and do the job and nothing more. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/23 "2009-01-26T20:09:47Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > It’s entirely inappropriate & unprofessional to flirt with the customers while on the clock. If you see them in the mall, you can knock yourself out. You mean like if you’re a barista and there’s this good-looking older guy who buys his coffee from you, you shouldn’t flirt even if he, you know, steams your milk? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/24 "2009-01-26T20:10:59Z")
> [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > You mean like if you’re a barista and there’s this good-looking older guy who buys his coffee from you, you shouldn’t flirt even if he, you know, steams your milk? > > 😃 Oh, holy mother of god. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/25 "2009-01-26T20:16:53Z")
So I guess sleeping with a couple of them was a bad idea. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/26 "2009-01-26T20:17:38Z")
🆒 > [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > You mean like if you’re a barista and there’s this good-looking older guy who buys his coffee from you, you shouldn’t flirt even if he, you know, steams your milk? > > 😃 Sorry, but that shot only works on **Kim** the Rhymer. **I** wasn’t hitting on **her**. Besides, who said I was good-looking? I’ll have you know that I once scared a woman into the nunnery with my hideously malformed penises. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/27 "2009-01-26T20:18:41Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > Oh, holy mother of god. **Chef Troy** is referring to the thread about how my wife manipulated me into asking her out for the first time. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/28 "2009-01-26T21:29:49Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#): > > \ > Of course, you should make sure the customer is receptive. I imagine that when **Antinor01** is at a cash register, he isn’t giving off “friendly” vibes. It comes down to social skills. If you feel like you can’t read a person will in that situation, you should err on the side of caution.\ I’ll be over with **Antinor** at the self-serve checkouts. It doesn’t happen too often, but sometimes I’ll get a clerk who can’t read vibes at all - yeah, all those mono-syllabic replies means I don’t want to chat with you - I want my change and my package and to get the hell out of here. Nothing personal, of course. I don’t think anyone has ever commented on the colour of my eyes, and if I’m lucky, it will continue to remain that way. Put me in the camp of not wanting anyone flirting with me while I’m trying to do business. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/29 "2009-01-26T21:34:25Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > One voice of dissent coming up! I would find it wrong and creepy. Cashiers should ring up my items and process the transaction with no other fuss. I too have worked retail and can’t imagine flirting with the customers. I agree. And don’t comment on my purchases either. ---
**Author:** ![Sonnenstrahl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Sonnenstrahl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sonnenstrahl)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/30 "2009-01-26T21:57:52Z")
I bet if we went through the “How did you meet your spouse?” thread, people would find approximately 90% of those situations “creepy” when it’s completely theoretical like this. Some interactions just can’t be analyzed in the abstract like this. In general, though, I would say that flirting with the cashier is somewhat less likely to work. They are trapped into responding politely, as well as being physically trapped behind the counter in many situations. I like to talk to cashiers/customers, though, so maybe I’m unusual. As a cashier, I feel like someone making even stupid conversation with me is a nice change in a pretty repetitive job, and when I’m writing essays or something and only leave the house to buy groceries or go to the library, I really do appreciate the polite words exchanged with the cashier or library clerk. That probably sounds pretty sad. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Pollux\_Oil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/858c86/32.png) [@Pollux\_Oil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pollux_Oil)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/31 "2009-01-27T01:12:36Z")
> [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](#): > > Obviously, in respect to all customers, you don’t spend a long time flirting with one customer while another one is waiting. Tell that to my co-worker. He’ll spend hours talking to some customers without paying any attention to the huge-ass line forming at my register. I exaggerate, but…yeah… > [@Antinor01](#): > > I’m perfectly friendly and will chat, but I expect efficient service and I expect to not be flirted with by my cashier. I choose self serve checkout when possible for that very reason. Curious, I am. What’s your opinion about going to a restaurant? If the person serving you is overtly friendly/somewhat flirtatious (but still serves you your meal efficiently) is that as bad as a cashier being the same way? > [@drachillix](#): > > So I guess sleeping with a couple of them was a bad idea. Where’d you work, and are they hiring? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/32 "2009-01-27T02:00:37Z")
> [@Pollux\_Oil](#): > > Curious, I am. What’s your opinion about going to a restaurant? If the person serving you is overtly friendly/somewhat flirtatious (but still serves you your meal efficiently) is that as bad as a cashier being the same way? Yep. Do your job and then leave me alone. I don’t know you, we’re not friends and I don’t care to have a protracted conversation with you. Friendly is fine, but if it’s more than a couple sentences then you’re overstaying your welcome at my table. Actually, more than a couple of sentences and you’re not being efficient. I’ve worked in restaurants as well and there are other things you should be doing rather than chatting/flirting with me. (actually one restaurant and a stint as a caterer. In catering though, conversing and sometimes even dancing at the wedding receptions we worked was expected.) I’m not a completely anti-social asshole or anything, but I’m not shopping/eating/whatever to shoot the breeze or flirt with the staff. I’m there to do what I came to do and then I’m leaving. ---
**Author:** ![Chase\_Ransom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@Chase\_Ransom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chase_Ransom)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/33 "2009-01-27T06:17:21Z")
> [@Pollux\_Oil](#): > > Is it wrong for me to say something like “Here’s your receipt. By the way, you have very pretty eyes.”? I think the concept of the thread has lost proportion. The example given I think is quite harmless. Far from (for the sake of bad behavior) leaning over the counter and whispering something, getting into someone’s personal space, holding up the line, stalling the customer, etc. That I think is uncalled for. Paying a customer a compliment I think is polite and could possibly make someone feel better about themselves or even about shopping at your place of business. If you are a good looking woman and want to see men flirting shamelessly, go through customs at Miami International. They have no shame. ---
**Author:** ![Strange\_Machine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/898d66/32.png) [@Strange\_Machine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Strange_Machine)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/34 "2009-01-27T07:55:06Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > . . . In catering though, conversing and sometimes even dancing at the wedding receptions we worked was expected.) > > I’m not a completely anti-social asshole or anything, but I’m not shopping/eating/whatever to shoot the breeze or flirt with the staff. I’m there to do what I came to do and then I’m leaving. I’m curious about dancing at the wedding receptions. I’ve been a videographer since the mid-nineties and was a DJ before that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a caterer dance and only a handful of times when a husband/wife photography team danced. That seems way weird to me. (Unless it was a show, I guess. I’ve seen some excellent ethnic performances.) I was invited to a few afterparties and whatnot through the years, but never followed through since after a gig I usually just want to get the hell home and off my feet too. > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by **Pollux Oil** > Is it wrong for me to say something like “Here’s your receipt. By the way, you have very pretty eyes.”? This one is pretty lame. I would wager if you said it to someone out of the blue and she wasn’t interested, then she’d avoid you/the store, and not just be flattered for the compliment. Conversational flirting would work much better. If you’re stuck as a register monkey and can’t actually talk to customers, then I guess try to hook up with friends of your co-workers. Or, maybe try the tack of saying hi the first time, then next time they get to your register say, “I haven’t seen you in the store in a couple weeks.” That would make people feel good about personal service in the place of business, and if they open up with their life’s story you have something to talk about. You can also get details since a lot of times people who are spoken for will namedrop their spouse or significant other. If they want to brush you off they can just say they’ve been busy. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/35 "2009-01-27T11:39:42Z")
Come on guys let’s not bull shit ourselves. If your’e a cute 20something bombshell of a woman than of course it’s _always_ ok to flirt. If you’re a dashing Brad Pitt kind of male than it’s OK to flirt _most_ of the time. Anything else besides that; you shouldn’t flirt. It’s awkward and it’s creepy. Reality. It’s what’s for dinner. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/36 "2009-01-27T12:37:06Z")
I wouldn’t like it if a cashier told me I had pretty eyes. I wouldn’t mind if a cashier I saw often gave me a big smile and seemed happy to see me and chatted above and beyond the call of duty, but any personal compliments, and I would probably avoid the cashier. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/37 "2009-01-27T14:26:03Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > 🆒 > > Sorry, but that shot only works on **Kim** the Rhymer. **I** wasn’t hitting on **her**. > > Besides, who said I was good-looking? I’ll have you know that I once scared a woman into the nunnery with my hideously malformed penises. Yeah, I remember – I was just thinking that it’s a good thing for you that SHE didn’t think it was inappropriate to flirt with [del]good-looking customers[/del] not-necessarily-good-looking customers with hideously malformed penises while she was on the clock. _grin_ ---
**Author:** ![Antinor01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecae2f/32.png) [@Antinor01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antinor01)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/38 "2009-01-27T15:27:27Z")
> [@Strange\_Machine](#): > > I’m curious about dancing at the wedding receptions. I’ve been a videographer since the mid-nineties and was a DJ before that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a caterer dance and only a handful of times when a husband/wife photography team danced. That seems way weird to me. (Unless it was a show, I guess. I’ve seen some excellent ethnic performances.) > I was invited to a few afterparties and whatnot through the years, but never followed through since after a gig I usually just want to get the hell home and off my feet. I agree that it seems strange, but then I was working for a strange guy. Both the owner and the manager directly told me to do whatever the guests asked and that sometimes included taking a spin on the dancefloor. After 14 hours on my feet and the third reception of the day I didn’t want to, but it was expected that I would if asked. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/39 "2009-01-27T16:29:20Z")
> [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > Yeah, I remember – I was just thinking that it’s a good thing for you that SHE didn’t think it was inappropriate to flirt with [del]good-looking customers[/del] not-necessarily-good-looking customers with hideously malformed penises while she was on the clock. _grin_ True enough, as I HATE guys who hit on baristas and refuse to join their number. ---
**Author:** ![Pushkin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ee59a6/32.png) [@Pushkin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pushkin)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/40 "2009-01-27T16:52:27Z")
> [@Antinor01](#): > > I choose self serve checkout when possible for that very reason. I’ve never been flirted with by an employee (I honestly wouldn’t know when they were) but I choose the self-service tills for the same sort of reason, I just don’t like cashiers. Not that I hate them as a species or individuals, just that after having gone through the shelves my brain isn’t geared for dealing with other people immediately afterwards. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014.md?page=3)