# Appropriateness of an employee flirting with a customer/client **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 26, 2009, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014 "2009-01-26T04:25:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/41 "2009-01-27T17:52:28Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Come on guys let’s not bull shit ourselves. > > If your’e a cute 20something bombshell of a woman than of course it’s _always_ ok to flirt. > > If you’re a dashing Brad Pitt kind of male than it’s OK to flirt _most_ of the time. > > Anything else besides that; you shouldn’t flirt. It’s awkward and it’s creepy. > Reality. It’s what’s for dinner. Nonsense. It’s always ok to flirt but you have to do it properly and you have to make sure the situation is appropriate. For example, if it’s 2 days before Xmas and there are a hundred people in the store, leave the poor countergirl alone and let her do her job. Telling people they “have nice eyes” is a terrible way to flirt. First of all, it IS creepy. Second, it’s not like they picked out their eyeballs. Third, it presumes that they find you attractive and care what you think about them. And finally, if you walk up to someone and tell them they have a nice whatever, it’s pretty obvious you are hitting on them. Which is fine, except that your intentions are now not consistent with what you are saying, and that’s offputting. So you are probably just better off just going up to the person and being like “I find you attractive and would like to take you out for coffee” or something. Usually the best way is to flirt is just say something funny and see if they laugh. Once you have a little rapport going back and forth, then it’s ok to tell them they have nice eyes or something like you just noticed it. For example, I wasn’t looking for a date or anything, but I was trying to return a shirt to Bananna Republic but I lost the receipt. After trying the direct approach at two stores without luck, I went up to the girl and jokingly said “excuse me. I stole this shirt from another store and was wondering if I could either exchange it for cash or another shirt that better enhances my beauty?” That got a chuckle and she was much more helpful. The thing to remember with any store or restaurant/bar employee is that they are there doing there job. It’s ok to flirt and be friendly, however don’t bother them too much and remember that to a certain extent, it’s their job to make you think you are funny and charming and whatnot. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/42 "2009-01-27T18:02:09Z")
Retail is fine as long as it’s low key. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/43 "2009-01-27T19:28:48Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Retail is fine as long as it’s low key. So asking the Victoria Secret’s clerk to model some underwear for me is out? ---
**Author:** ![Audrey\_Levins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Audrey\_Levins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Audrey_Levins)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/44 "2009-01-27T19:47:58Z")
I’ve been told by random strangers–including store employees–that I have pretty eyes, or nice hair, or whatever. I can’t imagine being offended; I always say “Thank you,” and get on with my day. I think anybody who’s offended is either dealing with someone genuinely creepy, or perhaps being oversensitive. I’ve been creeped out by people who do nothing untoward at all; some people are just creepy even if all they do is breathe. There’s no help for those people. But those people notwithstanding, if someone genuinely admires something about you, it’s nice that they mention it; it’s nice to hear it. I think more people should say the nice things that they are thinking. Even if it’s mildly flirtatious. Nobody’s day was ever ruined by a simple compliment; I know a few times where they’ve made mine. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2009, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/45 "2009-01-27T20:10:33Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > So asking the Victoria Secret’s clerk to model some underwear for me is out? Well, at Trashy Lingerie that’s exactly what they do, so I suppose it might not be.😉 ---
**Author:** ![Pollux\_Oil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/858c86/32.png) [@Pollux\_Oil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pollux_Oil)\ **Post date:** [January 28, 2009, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/46 "2009-01-28T01:31:57Z")
So gauging the responses in this thread, I could be anywhere from creepy to harmless. I do find that it’d probably be better to only do it with regular customers that I’ve established some sort of quasi-relationship with, but so far all my regular customers aren’t exactly in my “flirt with” range. The example I gave, I’d never seen the girl in the store before and there’s no guarantee I’ll ever see her again. I guess part of me wanted to ask this because I’m finding it hard to meet new people. I’m not a bar or club type person, where it’s a more forgiving environment to walk up to people you don’t know and say they have nice eyes. And I’m not the type of guy that flirts with anything with a pair of boobs. If I actually get up the nerve to compliment somebody out of the blue like that, it means something. (Of course, they wouldn’t know that and could still think I’m a creepazoid.) Anyway, thanks for the opinions. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/47 "2009-01-31T03:10:49Z")
> [@Pollux\_Oil](#): > > Where’d you work, and are they hiring? 😃 Own a computer shop… Onsite service available 😃 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/48 "2009-01-31T03:32:04Z")
If you meet someone and the chemistry feels right, go for it. Don’t be a perv and hit on everything doable who walks through the door. Lots of romances have started in the workplace. No sense pretending they don’t. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/49 "2009-01-31T04:15:06Z")
If she’s worth getting fired over, what have you got to lose? I say go for it, and :shrug: what happens happens. Just be yourself, and don’t over think it, dude. I know you’re not gonna go around hitting on every female that walks by and all that jazz. But if you see something like this opportunity… well, it’s better to be making a thread about “how you are so excited to be going out on a date with this hot girl you met at work!” vs. a thread about “How you saw the hottest girl you’ve seen and you didn’t say anything”. Right now, you’ve got a regret, and you’ve got nothing. I say if the opportunity like that one comes again, :shrug: go for it, just… be yourself and don’t be creepy about it. I think you could pull it off, and you can judge what’s out there and what’s not, and if they’re receptive to it. Use the force, **Pollux** … use the force! And don’t fall off the swan, dammit! ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2009, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014/50 "2009-01-31T04:34:49Z")
I had to come and post here… I met my current wife at work. In a Casino, she was a punter I was the dealer. She “propositioned” me, if my bosses had known I went out with her I probably would have been fired. Another time when I was working in a bar, I flirted with some ladies, they came back the next day looking for me and the guy on duty (my stupid father) didn’t even think to take their numbers for me. When I worked at the Casino we were encouraged to flirt (guys and girls) shamelessly as part of the custoemr experience [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/appropriateness-of-an-employee-flirting-with-a-customer-client/483014.md?page=2)