# April Foolish Mini-rants **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 1, 2017, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514 "2017-04-01T17:43:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![fervour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@fervour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fervour)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2017, 9:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/121 "2017-04-20T09:13:24Z")
I’m not sorry that we celebrate you, Mom. I’m sorry that we celebrate you at the expense of everyone else. You know not everything has to be about you. Good for you for making it to 86!—but that it horrifies me at the thought of being 86 doesn’t make me bad. I hope everyone can make it to the proper age. Here’s to hoping that I can recognize the proper age for me, and that everyone else can say, “yeah, that was about right for that shit.” ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2017, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/122 "2017-04-20T15:20:54Z")
> [@fervour](#): > > I’m sorry that you are getting old----don’t take that as a jibe. I turned 50 and have to go through a battery of stupid tests. But YOU somehow manage to do it with aplumb! Viva life! Thanks. But remember, you’re getting old at exactly the same rate that I am. I just have a head start. ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/123 "2017-04-21T05:15:05Z")
Ahhhh! I asked my MiL if she might like to come out for a short visit, timing to be worked out later. She has posted a BANNER on my Facebook page, and called me several times. I told her that I needed to work out the details with my husband who is not in town right now and it will be a few days before we can even discuss it. She keeps calling. What was I thinking?! ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2017, 8:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/124 "2017-04-21T08:07:05Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > Ahhhh! I asked my MiL if she might like to come out for a short visit, timing to be worked out later. She has posted a BANNER on my Facebook page, and called me several times. I told her that I needed to work out the details with my husband who is not in town right now and it will be a few days before we can even discuss it. She keeps calling. What was I thinking?! My in-laws visit maybe once in five years, at most. As much as I love them, I’m perfectly ok with that. ---
**Author:** ![Velocity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/velocity/32/18006_2.png) [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2017, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/125 "2017-04-24T14:39:22Z")
I just got an article published. However, in one important paragraph, the editor changed one of my words - “But” - to “Thus” - \*completely altering the meaning of the sentence and making it rather illogical. \* Grrrrrr. (Minor rant over a minor thing.) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2017, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/126 "2017-04-24T16:00:24Z")
> [@fervour](#): > > I’m sorry that you are getting old----don’t take that as a jibe. I turned 50 and have to go through a battery of stupid tests. But YOU somehow manage to do it with aplumb! Viva life! I would’a said he does it with panache. The issue with the Treasury got solved. A different one cropped up, I got the “please attempt this” solution today. It says to use IE. Now, I don’t so much have an issue with having to use IE, but I do have an issue with every single web-maker-person in my government preferring a different browser. Can y’all wrestle over it or something? Keyboards at dawn? Make it Call of Duty so it’s actually visually interesting, perhaps… ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2017, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/127 "2017-04-24T20:16:46Z")
Publishing tools, oh how I loathe you. Why so broken? Why so malicious? :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Kelevra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/97f17d/32.png) [@Kelevra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kelevra)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2017, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/128 "2017-04-27T18:26:18Z")
Dear wife, You want a $300K house but only want to pay $250K. It isn’t going to happen. Sorry to inject realism, Your husband Dear Home Sellers, You might want to clean your house before you ask people to decide whether they want to purchase it. Turns out that effects our willingness to buy. Good Luck! Prospective Buyer ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/129 "2017-04-28T00:39:58Z")
Maybe you can find a 300K house that looks like 250K because it’s a mess. That’s sort of what we lucked into. Got a deal on a house with “good bones” that had been trashed. Wife only saw the mess, I was able to mentally empty the living room, tear up the carpeting, get rid of the huge entertainment center and bookcases… the only time my saying “Trust me” actually worked out! ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/130 "2017-04-28T05:26:31Z")
> [@Roderick\_Femm](#): > > Just another complaint about UPS, and about Home Depot which doesn’t accommodate picking internet orders up in the store any more. > > I ordered a 2-drawer pedestal file. Home Depot’s website sucks but I complained and got the charge back to where it should be. (That’s complaint #1, it should just work instead of requiring a complaint.) They ship via UPS (#2). UPS said it would be delivered sometime today between 8:30-5:00, so I stayed home all day - one reason for that is that the UPS site said that the package required a signature (#3). Then it was changed to between 3:00-7:00 (#4). Then it was finally delivered at 9:00 pm.(#5). The driver left it teetering on my steps (because I have a security gate the blocks the porch), rang the doorbell and must have sprinted to his truck and driven off, because I was 10 feet away and he was gone before I could get to the door (#6). I did not get a chance to inspect the object before accepting delivery, and I did not have an opportunity to sign for it. Lo and behold, the file had been dropped on a corner and the frame was bent (#7-9). Finally, to cap off a perfect day, their claims site is offline and I am instructed to try again tomorrow. #10, over and out. > > eta: forgot to mention, I will get a refund and give the damn file away if someone wants to try to straighten it out, and buy one from Staples. They at least allow me to pick it up at the store. Follow-up for those awaiting same with breathless interest. Home Depot had the damaged and unfixable file picked up, and several days later refunded my money. I did buy pretty much the same file cabinet from Staples for $5 less and picked it up from the store. However, apparently when I picked up the original cabinet from my curved front steps and carried it from the garage, I racked up my right knee in some mysterious way and I have been limping and cringing from the pain for the past week. My own fault, really, it wasn’t that heavy, I just neglected to support myself properly and forgot that I’m not as young as I used to be. I even had someone at home who could have helped me carry it. But I still hate UPS. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/131 "2017-04-28T16:35:12Z")
Yes, “forgot that I’m not as young as I used to be” is now my theme song. ETA sorry about your knee. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/132 "2017-04-28T17:01:13Z")
I, for one, can’t forget that I’m not as young as I used to be. I’m constantly reminded of the fact. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/133 "2017-04-28T17:18:01Z")
Fer fuckssake. Get yer goddamned PK analysis right. Try to do it the first time, too, will ya? But in any case, do it BEFORE you’ve released the study to me for publishing. All this Go-Stop-Go is giving me mental whiplash. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/134 "2017-04-28T18:14:44Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > Yes, “forgot that I’m not as young as I used to be” is now my theme song. The problem is that I’m still 25 on the inside. So of course I can lift/jump/climb/move that, it’s no big…ow! ---
**Author:** ![Karen\_Lingel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/karen_lingel/32/18649_2.png) [@Karen\_Lingel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Karen_Lingel)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2017, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/135 "2017-04-28T18:39:45Z")
People: for the love of all that is guacamole, PLEASE STOP getting into wrecks on the freeway. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/136 "2017-04-29T05:35:35Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > Yes, “forgot that I’m not as young as I used to be” is now my theme song. > > ETA sorry about your knee. > [@panache45](#): > > I, for one, can’t forget that I’m not as young as I used to be. I’m constantly reminded of the fact. > [@digs](#): > > The problem is that I’m still 25 on the inside. So of course I can lift/jump/climb/move that, it’s no big…ow! My mother’s Pilates monitor: “young people who learn to lift as if they happened to be old people end up being old people with less back trouble. Now go and convince a teenager of that.” ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/137 "2017-04-29T07:45:16Z")
> [@digs](#): > > The problem is that I’m still 25 on the inside. So of course I can lift/jump/climb/move that, it’s no big…ow! I have this exact same issue. it’s becomes apparently painful when most of your coworkers are under the age of 30. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2017, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/138 "2017-04-29T19:04:38Z")
I am so tired of not being able to breath that I am taking stronger measures. Seeing as how it would be rather difficult to napalm all of the blooming plants and their floating sperm in a hundred mile radius, I have moved on to chemical warfare and have finally started on allergy treatments. So far, I have learned that its easier to list the pollen that I am not allergic to than the ones I am allergic to because that list is empty. I am also allergic to cats and dogs. And bees, but I already knew that. ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/139 "2017-04-30T02:11:37Z")
Good luck with the allergy treatments, **flatlined**. Are you doing shots? I had shots for a few years as a child and they did help a lot, eventually. Then I moved to California where I wasn’t allergic to much of anything. Now I am in Texas and like you I am allergic to almost everything. Maybe it’s time for more shots. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2017, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514/140 "2017-04-30T03:20:09Z")
Thanks for the good wishes **kayT**. I thought my allergies were bad in AZ. AZ has _nothing_ on TX when it comes to plant sex. I’m getting shots and am currently going through terrible nasal spray withdrawal. PSA: Do not use nasal spray decongestants for longer than the recommended length of time. I was really shocked when I realized that I was using a bottle a week. Its so easy to get hooked, and the withdrawal is horrible. This is my first time with the shots. I will say that the test everything grid they did on my arm was not fun. I am very hopeful that the shots will work, because if they don’t, I’m moving back to AZ. And leaving that rotten cat that has to play in the stupid litter robot behind. I’m also leaving that stupid litter robot as well. I am going to get 40 acres of desert, park a RV in the middle and cut down anything that might even think about having sex through the air. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-foolish-mini-rants/783514.md?page=8)