# April glowers bring May flowers (minirant thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 1, 2018, 8:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576 "2018-04-01T08:02:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/281 "2018-04-29T01:17:11Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > OK, this made me smile. > mmm I wondered if anyone even noticed my little joke;) ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/282 "2018-04-29T01:59:36Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > I wondered if anyone even noticed my little joke;) We did! In fact, we’re beginning to like the new, right-handed Becky. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/283 "2018-04-29T02:09:30Z")
I have been hunting and pecking with my right hand. My left is healing. I will be back up to speed soon, I know y’all are happy to hear it.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/284 "2018-04-29T03:04:51Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > You know of course that it is impossible to catch an indoor/outdoor cat who doesn’t want to be caught. The largest damp towel you can find. Throw it over them, grab them, wrap them up in it, avoid the bite. Of course, wet towel adds it’s own trauma issues, but this is also how I catch them to bath them - rubbing them vigorously with the towel to clean them off. ---
**Author:** ![mistymage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mistymage/32/459_2.png) [@mistymage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mistymage)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/285 "2018-04-29T05:27:43Z")
Yearly vet visit for the pets. 6 animals X $50 office fee per. Then various shots (with jacked up prices compared to what the previous vet charged… the vet who moved up in the world and sold his practice to these guys.) 2 dogs were in pain the next day. Both had large swellings where various shots were administered. Thankfully they both are ok and moving good now. The Drama Queen will still scream if you pick her up and that will continue for at least a month. New vet at the practice. She liked my crew. Animals all still love me. That makes a crappy haiku. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 5:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/286 "2018-04-29T05:54:53Z")
> [@Jackmannii](#): > > Weirdness on the home front. > > Mrs. J. discusses a proposal for roof work with a highly rated local contractor. She asks (among many other things) about getting a non-smoking crew, seeing that a previous roof job years ago resulted in massive tobacco butt discards in our yard. The roof company rep assures her this won’t be a problem, because the crew is Mexicans. > > And not only that, they’re _Christians_. You can’t go wrong with Christians, I always say. Here in Canada, where our immigration standards are so lax that we even let _Muslims_ in, I had the roof done last summer. The crew were not Mexicans, they were from someplace farther south which, presumably, is even worse. I did have a chat with one of them and I’m not sure I remember where he said they were from but I think it was Colombia. I suppose I could ask the neighbors anywhere within a 30-block radius if they were able to identify the ethnic origins of the earth-shattering music that was blasting from my rooftop via a gigantic ghetto blaster that they had up there. To me it just sounded suspiciously like mariachi. Anyway, it turns out that most Colombians are not only Christian, they’re Catholic, so you can bet your Holy Bible that my roof turned out terrific. It’s not actually cigarette butts you need to worry about in the aftermath, it’s roofing nails, and after the Colombian Catholics were done, Jesus helped guide their magnetic broom and I was hard pressed to find even one. And because the roof – which would have needed doing in a few years anyway – had been damaged by hail, the whole thing was covered by insurance, for which we give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, and His love is everlasting, like my new roof with its lifetime limited warranty. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/287 "2018-04-29T06:33:43Z")
Amen;) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/288 "2018-04-29T07:37:45Z")
Relative-in-law has terminal cancer. Very sad, but still some years left. Said relative-in-law has found a Crazy Diet that she thinks will extend her life. So, fine; you do whatever you want with what time you have. Your life, your body; I’m not going to argue or correct your pseudoscience. But do not try to push your diet on me, and when I say (gently) that I’d rather not discuss it, please let it drop. I do not agree that carbohydrates are the only thing that cause people harm, and that “you (= **Dr. Drake** ) can have as much steak as you want without gaining weight.” I don’t appreciate your sabotaging my own efforts to get in shape. My method is the whacky “calories in vs. calories out,” and it seems to be working for me so far. You believe that cancer feeds on sugar and carbohydrates. I can’t speak to the science, but I CAN tell you that if you are suggesting that bread is harmful but spinach tortillas (i.e. green flour tortillas) are fine, you are not being as methodical as you think you are. Your spouse told me that you drink a special mixture to cleanse your body of the toxins built up through chemotheraphy. Again, I don’t know about chemotherapy, but whenever I hear the words “cleanse” and “toxins” in relation to health, I suspect woo. Especially when the idea comes from your acupunturist. I am sorry that you are facing premature death. I totally understand that controlling your diet is what keeps you going. Please don’t force me to challenge you on this one, because I really do support your bid to avoid the ugly reality here, and I’d rather just change the subject. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/289 "2018-04-29T13:24:26Z")
> [@wolfpup](#): > > Anyway, it turns out that most Colombians are not only Christian, they’re Catholic At first, I read that as “most Colombians are not Christian, they’re Catholic”. :eek:😃 ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/290 "2018-04-29T14:09:09Z")
Shoot. I made fudge yesterday. The cheating kind – chocolate chips and condensed milk. You know, the no-fail kind. Yup, I managed to fail. After sitting in the fridge overnight, the stuff is still squishy, not firm enough to cut. How the hell do you screw up a recipe that has only four ingredients (1 can condensed milk, 18 oz. chocolate chips, 1 t. vanilla, 1 T. butter) and no tricky time/temperature instructions? (heat and stir over a double boiler until everything is melted and smooth) At least the goo tastes good. I guess I will bake batch of sugar cookies and use my ‘fudge’ as the filling to make them into sandwich cookies. My sugar cookies have never failed me. Yet. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/291 "2018-04-29T14:43:16Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > Shoot. I made fudge yesterday. The cheating kind – chocolate chips and condensed milk. > > You know, the no-fail kind. > > Yup, I managed to fail. After sitting in the fridge overnight, the stuff is still squishy, not firm enough to cut. > > How the hell do you screw up a recipe that has only four ingredients (1 can condensed milk, 18 oz. chocolate chips, 1 t. vanilla, 1 T. butter) and no tricky time/temperature instructions? (heat and stir over a double boiler until everything is melted and smooth) > > At least the goo tastes good. I guess I will bake batch of sugar cookies and use my ‘fudge’ as the > filling to make them into sandwich cookies. > > My sugar cookies have never failed me. > > Yet. My dad (back before he got The Diabeetus) used to make the best fudge, but he’d only make it on days with low-to-no humidity. The house we lived in at the time didn’t have A/C and if there was even a drop of moisture in the air the fudge would stay squishy. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/292 "2018-04-29T17:13:23Z")
^^^Yes, humidity plays a role in all candy making. The goo you have is tasty. We would just scoop it out by the spoonful and eat it. But the sugar cookie sandwich sounds good too. ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2018, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/293 "2018-04-29T17:53:59Z")
I bet you’re both right on the humidity – it rained ALL DAY yesterday. ☹ Well. Cookies are good, too. Just not as good as fudge. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/294 "2018-04-30T00:41:50Z")
Well, you have cookies plus fudge goo – that’s something? The deer are back eating our newly growing plants. This year, my mother finally resorted to deer repellent, since bars of soap were just getting too expensive. The stuff smells like manure from some animal that ate at Taco Bell. (Fortunately it fades. But oh god, the only thing I ever smelled that was worse than this was road kill on a hot summer day. That’s how bad this stuff is) ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/295 "2018-04-30T02:56:08Z")
> [@digs](#): > > How about you start putting in the line “Quick pick up or purchase price is forfeit… (If you’re over an hour late, the item and your payment are both MINE!)" Interesting idea. 🙂 After the latest no-show from last Thursday (she moved the pick-up time twice, then just didn’t bother to show up, no PM or anything), I’m getting really freaking sick of how cavalier other people are with their word and my time. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/296 "2018-04-30T02:59:07Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > ^^^Yes, humidity plays a role in all candy making. The goo you have is tasty. We would just scoop it out by the spoonful and eat it. But the sugar cookie sandwich sounds good too. My suggestion - make some brownies, heat up your fudge goo into hot fudge sauce, and make a dessert with a warm brownie, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and hot fudge sauce over top. This combination is truly magic. 😊 ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/297 "2018-04-30T11:42:22Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Interesting idea. 🙂 After the latest no-show from last Thursday (she moved the pick-up time twice, then just didn’t bother to show up, no PM or anything), I’m getting really freaking sick of how cavalier other people are with their word and my time. :mad: And this is precisely the reason why I donate stuff rather than try to sell it. I’m sorry all this has happened to you. I’d be furious. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/298 "2018-04-30T11:43:55Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > My suggestion - make some brownies, heat up your fudge goo into hot fudge sauce, and make a dessert with a warm brownie, a scoop of vanilla ice cream, and hot fudge sauce over top. This combination is truly magic. 😊 Oooooooooooooooooooh, good idea! If the fudge is as squishy as described, it’s probably better in liquid form 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/299 "2018-04-30T12:50:25Z")
A twofer this morning: Friday afternoon we, like so many, took in the _Avengers_ movie. We had a guy about my age (mid to late 40’s) in front of us who spent the movie trying to explain stuff to us. After the third time, I told him to just shut the fuck up, we understand the Marvel universe. But, he kept on. At one point my daughter literally growled at him. When the credits started rolling, he turned and told us to wait, there was more to come. We hadn’t moved or made any motion to leave. Dude, shut up. Seriously. THEN once the end scene rolled, he asked if we knew what that meant. I reacted poorly. I let loose on him. Mansplained at a Marvel movie. For fucks sake. Then, I had the joy of taking my mom vehicle shopping on Saturday. Big Blue (1997 Ford F150 with 225k miles) is finally nickel and diming her to death. Needs a rear U-joint right now and will need a new head gasket this summer. She thought $5k would buy her a decent runaround. I was glad she put it as she didn’t know how much longer she would be driving, as I would like to take her damn license away from her now. But, she’s had no accidents or tickets, so I really can’t do anything about it. However, $5k doesn’t buy much of anything. She will not buy from a private seller. She is set on only two makes of vehicles. She was irritated that the vehicles under $7k had rust and high miles. The lot guys we dealt with on Saturday were so very patronizing. Yesterday we went looking again, when the lots were closed. She ended up with a list of 6 cars/trucks she liked. Last night, when we spoke, I suggested she take her “not a boyfriend” out today, as he can out talk the worst used car salesman and he is quite knowledgeable about cars (so is my mom, but being and elderly woman, she gets shot down. Add that to her general avoidance of making decisions AND paranoia - ). She thinks she’s just going to keep throwing money into Big Blue. SO that was a complete waste of about 8 hours this weekend. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2018, 1:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576/300 "2018-04-30T13:01:58Z")
I like that a poster named StarvingButStrong attempted to make a food item, it didn’t come out right, and is now trying to find a workaround. Way to live up to your username! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-glowers-bring-may-flowers-minirant-thread/811576.md?page=16)