# April R, we need to talk. Well no, I need to talk. To you. Because I'm fed up. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 31, 2015, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472 "2015-08-31T03:55:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/21 "2015-08-31T14:54:33Z")
Pitting someone for being a drama-llama who can’t tell good attention from bad? Isn’t that sort of like beating someone for being a Masochist? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/22 "2015-08-31T15:08:05Z")
I’m aware that there is a **AprilR** trainwreck thread. But I haven’t ventured into cuz I can’t be bothered with trainwrecks that don’t interest me. But I agree that trainwreck posters are entertaining. Even when they are trollish. Last summer’s **Incubita** situation made for a hilarious couple of days, even though we were being played for a fool. I wish **Incubus** were still around sometimes. Moreover, there are plenty of non-trainwreck posters who have become caricatures of themselves through the years. It’s like as soon as you see their name in a thread, you know exactly what they’re going to say. Maybe they know the peanut gallery is laughing at them, maybe they don’t. But I don’t want them to stop, because it is fun being able to point and laugh at something. **AprilR** really isn’t any different from those folks. Except that her caricature is a relatively recent thing, and she seems to be eating up the attention rather than playing it cool. ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/23 "2015-08-31T15:33:53Z")
I don’t read those sort of threads, mostly because of my own selfishness, but whatever **AprilR’s** possible seeming faults she doesn’t deserve this bullying. Those with sewing kits for attaching scarlet letters should find a new hobby rather than piling on a fairly defenceless girl. I am the last in the world to suppose most imaginary double standards, adored targets of the whiny, exist or are that important if they do exist, but there’s certainly an extra venom in how people attack women. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/24 "2015-08-31T15:56:46Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I’m probably going to get smacked down for this but I feel like it’s threads like this that are slowly making this board a sterile, lifeless place. Every time people come in and talk about themselves - good, bad or otherwise - we severely punish them for talking. > > If you look back at my posting history, I used to post a lot more, and say a lot more, and start more threads. But people kept coming in with extremely harsh criticisms, and they just rip you apart. Sure, it’s just a message board - which is exactly it. After a while you shrug and go, ok, fine, I won’t post it. And then you lose another fun poster. > > I feel like we have driven away a lot of fun posters like this. I post less and less myself, and a lot of my friends from the old days have gone to places more fun. If you’re going to give me the line about “fighting ignorance”, well you guys are winning, sort of. Already this board is mostly about arguing about elections and desperately trying to prove you’re right. > > My point? Maybe April R is annoying people but she’s not breaking any rules. She’s talking about real stuff that is happening in her real life. Sure, chastise her, yell at her, but telling her to stop entirely? What’s going to happen is she will eventually stop…and we’ll lose yet another poster. > > That might be OK by you, of course. Totally agree with this. I don’t post much these days either because invariably someone will post something snarky and I’ve come to think “why bother?”. Sometimes I have things I want to ask or say but then I try to think of all the ways someone could take it the wrong way and really, if you have to do that much considering before posting, what’s the point? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/25 "2015-08-31T16:08:37Z")
> [@Claverhouse](#): > > I don’t read those sort of threads, mostly because of my own selfishness, but whatever **AprilR’s** possible seeming faults she doesn’t deserve this bullying. > Those with sewing kits for attaching scarlet letters should find a new hobby rather than piling on a fairly defenceless girl. I am the last in the world to suppose most imaginary double standards, adored targets of the whiny, exist or are that important if they do exist, but there’s certainly an extra venom in how people attack women. First of all, if you haven’t read the thread how do you know she doesn’t deserve this? Secondly, if you think this is sexism, you aren’t paying very close attention. Men get their ass handed to them routinely on this board. It’s equal opportunity ball busting. ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/26 "2015-08-31T17:04:36Z")
Being “fed up” with someone else’s posts about themselves and demanding that they stop is over the top ridiculous. If her posts are so annoying to you yet you keep reading them anyway, that’s a problem you do not need her participation to solve. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/27 "2015-08-31T17:09:49Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > What’s going to happen is she will eventually stop Oh dear. We wouldn’t want her to wander off to one of those fun places and have fun. > [@Morgenstern](#): > > From a guy who posted [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=763952), that’s totally out of line. And this from a guy who posted [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=763924), you don’t have room to talk. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/28 "2015-08-31T17:11:26Z")
Geez, there’s a tool on this board for not reading people you don’t like. Use it. There’s another tool in your head, called Free Will. It allows you to choose not to read things too. ---
**Author:** ![Emiliana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@Emiliana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emiliana)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/29 "2015-08-31T17:15:19Z")
> [@Claverhouse](#): > > I don’t read those sort of threads, mostly because of my own selfishness, but whatever **AprilR’s** possible seeming faults she doesn’t deserve this bullying. > Those with sewing kits for attaching scarlet letters should find a new hobby rather than piling on a fairly defenceless girl. I am the last in the world to suppose most imaginary double standards, adored targets of the whiny, exist or are that important if they do exist, but there’s certainly an extra venom in how people attack women. Oh go on with your silly self. If you had read the thread, you’d know that this isn’t sexist slut shaming. If there’s extra venom, it’s because stupid hurts the innocent bystanders–that’s AprilR’s family and anyone who read her idiotic thread. As for bullying, AprilR keeps reviving her own thread and bringing it into other threads. Had that not been the case, this Pit thread wouldn’t have been opened. She’s undoubtedly beside herself with pleasure reading the thread. ---
**Author:** ![brainstall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@brainstall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brainstall)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/30 "2015-08-31T17:22:52Z")
I can’t get behind this pitting. I eagerly search new posts each day just to see if there’s anything new in \*\*April R’s \*\*little guy friend drama and give a little squeal of delight as each new chapter unfolds. It’s like waiting for the next installment of a penny dreadful. I have to admit, I’m hooked. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/31 "2015-08-31T18:10:25Z")
So is she going to fuck **Guy Fieri** or isn’t she? ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/32 "2015-08-31T18:11:21Z")
> [@Drunky\_Smurf](#): > > And this from a guy who posted [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=763924), you don’t have room to talk. you’re just pissed because no one sent you dick pics. ---
**Author:** ![Claverhouse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/13edae/32.png) [@Claverhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Claverhouse)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/33 "2015-08-31T19:16:16Z")
And yet he sends out so many ! Seriously, he gives and he gives, and all he asks back is a little bit of respect. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/34 "2015-08-31T19:31:19Z")
> [@GrandWino](#): > > So is she going to fuck **Guy Fieri** or isn’t she? We’re goin’ down to flavor town! That is off the chain. ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/35 "2015-08-31T20:13:18Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > Geez, there’s a tool on this board for not reading people you don’t like. Use it. There’s lots of tools on this board. Starting a thread in the BBQ Pit is the USDA Recommended method for telling them to pull a condom over their heads and lodge it firmly up their rectum. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 31, 2015, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/36 "2015-08-31T23:09:59Z")
> [@watchwolf49](#): > > Sorry isn’t good enough around here anymore, **Construct** has set the bar much higher now. Please read through [his post here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18590761&postcount=8) and try to follow that format. :eek: However, I am impressed that he collected those himself. Most people leave it to one of the usual OCDs of the Pit to do it for them. > [@Zeke\_N.Destroi](#): > > You’ve also opened up an offer to **Drop Zone** and I, for one, want to see where it goes. So do I! I’m on pins and needles. 😛 FWIW, while I cringe in embarrassment (she’s not going to cringe for herself) for **April R** whenever this story receives a continuance, I remain concerned because she is something of a friend, same as all of you. As I said in that thread, I went through something similar and came out with my marriage as intact as it was before. I hope to give guidance, and that is not done by being hostile. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/37 "2015-09-01T16:24:58Z")
I want to say I appreciate the Pitting. It’s helped me step back and look at this with a little more clarity. Yes, love the attention from Guy Friend. I won’t lie about that. This bored housefrau gets mad tingles from it. But I love my marriage and family more. Guy Friend is my friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m not going to run away from him. I’m not going to ignore him. I’m going to acknowledge my feelings for what they are. Lustful, ego driven infatuation that can never trump the deeper more cultivated affection and love I have for my husband. He gives me more than I ever imagined I could have in a relationship, and I’m not going to compromise that for a crush, despite what some of you think. Thanks again, this Pitting was effective, though perhaps not in the way it was intended 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/38 "2015-09-01T16:30:55Z")
And we couldn’t just let this drop off the front page of the Pit after all. That would be madness. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/39 "2015-09-01T16:33:48Z")
So now we are back to not ignoring? Sheesh. This interaction is going to give the guy whiplash from all the 180 degree turns. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/40 "2015-09-01T16:49:31Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Yes, love the attention from Guy Friend. My brain keeps wanting this to read, _“Yes, love the attention from Guy Fieri.”_ In which case, I would advise you to chuck your family, and let Guy take you on the bus to Flavor Town. That would be money. On a more serious note, I generally like you a lot on this board, but the thread that spawned this Pitting is positively opalescent. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472.md?page=3)