# April R, we need to talk. Well no, I need to talk. To you. Because I'm fed up. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 31, 2015, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472 "2015-08-31T03:55:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/41 "2015-09-01T16:54:24Z")
> [@GrandWino](#): > > And we couldn’t just let this drop off the front page of the Pit after all. That would be madness. Even money says that there is no Guy Friend and I’d give about a 50% chance that there is no husband, either. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/42 "2015-09-01T16:57:01Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > … > > Thanks again, this Pitting was effective, though perhaps not in the way it was intended 🙂 \*Psalm 141:3-4 Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Do not let my heart incline to any evil, to busy myself with wicked deeds in company with men who work iniquity, and let me not eat of their delicacies!\* Just keep in touch with reality April, and remember the above. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/43 "2015-09-01T17:13:59Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Even money says that there is no Guy Friend and I’d give about a 50% chance that there is no husband, either. Eh, unless she’s so fundamentally deceptive as to present herself as someone she isn’t, there’s a real name and photo evidence of the husband and kids. Not saying it’s impossible (though I think it’s unlikely) but freely doxxing herself is a poor strategy in that case. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/44 "2015-09-01T17:20:25Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > Even money says that there is no Guy Friend and I’d give about a 50% chance that there is no husband, either. Haha haha. They are both very real. :p:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/45 "2015-09-01T17:21:25Z")
> [@Morgenstern](#): > > \*Psalm 141:3-4 > > Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips! Do not let my heart incline to any evil, to busy myself with wicked deeds in company with men who work iniquity, and let me not eat of their delicacies!\* > > Just keep in touch with reality April, and remember the above. 🙂 Thanks. Fabulous reference. Will do. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/46 "2015-09-01T20:25:47Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > Guy Friend is my friend. Nothing more, nothing less. I’m not going to run away from him. I’m not going to ignore him. :: record scratch noise :: [Hang on, three scant days ago you were cutting all contact and never talking to him again.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18638318&postcount=454) Do you just roll a fucking dice each day to determine the outcome of your life? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/47 "2015-09-01T20:31:03Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > :: record scratch noise :: > > [Hang on, three scant days ago you were cutting all contact and never talking to him again.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18638318&postcount=454) Do you just roll a fucking dice each day to determine the outcome of your life? I assume it’s some sort of Gygaxian percentile table. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/48 "2015-09-01T20:31:30Z")
> [@Penfeather](#): > > :: record scratch noise :: > > [Hang on, three scant days ago you were cutting all contact and never talking to him again.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=18638318&postcount=454) Do you just roll a fucking dice each day to determine the outcome of your life? It didn’t feel right. I was doing for the wrong reasons. Reason being to appease a bunch of strangers on.a message board. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/49 "2015-09-01T20:50:32Z")
[steps away a second to bang head on wall] Okay I feel better. April, can I call you April? Thanks. April, no one wanted you to do or not do something just to appease us. We gave you advice based on our life experiences and knowledge. Almost 100% of that advice said cut off communications. Do whatever you want. It seems you will anyway. We are not the bad guys here. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/50 "2015-09-01T21:37:29Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > It didn’t feel right. I was doing for the wrong reasons. Reason being to appease a bunch of strangers on.a message board. You continue to act with no sense of agency whatsoever. No wonder it is so easy for you to delude yourself - “yourself” has no coherent structure. ---
**Author:** ![OneCentStamp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/13edae/32.png) [@OneCentStamp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OneCentStamp)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/51 "2015-09-01T21:45:52Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > It didn’t feel right. I was doing for the wrong reasons. Reason being to appease a bunch of strangers on.a message board. This is Olympic-level petulance. ---
**Author:** ![desertmonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@desertmonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/desertmonk)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/52 "2015-09-01T22:33:56Z")
Yeah, the whole “I’m a victim of circumstances, swept away by events beyond my control” is bullshit. Own your life! ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/53 "2015-09-01T22:38:00Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > It didn’t feel right. I was doing for the wrong reasons. Reason being to appease a bunch of strangers on.a message board. Are you retarded? I mean…seriously…did your mother lick lead paint and breath mercury fumes while she was pregnant with you? Because that’s the only explanation for your behavior here and the behavior you report for yourself in the real world\*. \*Personally, btw, I think you’re lying about cuckolding your husband and haven’t told him jack shit–if you have, he’s either hoping to get rid of you (yay) or he’s he’s the biggest pussy that ever lived. Either one. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/54 "2015-09-01T22:55:34Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > It didn’t feel right. I was doing for the wrong reasons. Reason being to appease a bunch of strangers on.a message board. Great. Can we assume that by this time next week you will have declared yourself his spirit animal, or whatever the d20 dictates? ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/55 "2015-09-01T22:55:55Z")
My husband isn’t a pussy, nor is he trying to get rid of me. That’s just stupid, if he wanted to get rid of me he could have done it already. And he isn’t a pussy, he just isn’t like other guys, at least according to you all. I guess it’s hard to understand a person who isn’t like everyone else. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/56 "2015-09-01T22:57:52Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > You continue to act with no sense of agency whatsoever. No wonder it is so easy for you to delude yourself - “yourself” has no coherent structure. I just telling the truth. Sorry if that isn’t believable. Maybe y’all are just so used to liars, you can’t understand a person who is literally an open book. Yes, I may get confused and over emotional, but I’m honest about it. ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/57 "2015-09-01T23:08:57Z")
Anyone else expecting a surprised \*“I came home to find the locks changed and divorce papers pinned to the door. I just don’t understand why!” \*post in the near future? ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/58 "2015-09-01T23:11:54Z")
> [@Battle\_Pope](#): > > Anyone else expecting a surprised \*“I came home to find the locks changed and divorce papers pinned to the door. I just don’t understand why!” \*post in the near future? Not going to happen. I know it’s fun to pile on an easy target. I hope y’all are enjoying yourselves. I’m finally at peace with the situation, so I find it extremely amusing how desperate some of you are to see it get dramatic again. It isn’t, so you can stop wringing your hands and holding your breath. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/59 "2015-09-01T23:12:02Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > I just telling the truth. Sorry if that isn’t believable. Maybe y’all are just so used to liars, you can’t understand a person who is literally an open book. > > Yes, I may get confused and over emotional, but I’m honest about it. What? I don’t think you understood what I wrote. I didn’t suggest you were lying. At least, not to us. ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2015, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472/60 "2015-09-01T23:12:11Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > My husband isn’t a pussy, nor is he trying to get rid of me. > That’s just stupid, if he wanted to get rid of me he could have done it already. And he isn’t a pussy, he just isn’t like other guys, at least according to you all. I guess it’s hard to understand a person who isn’t like everyone else. He is a useless cuckhold with a dubious taste in women. Now stop talking to us and go masturbate to the memory of a guy friend who likes the idea of a large mormon who wants to fuck him. Hell, your husband is so special maybe you should convince him to join in, you can all swan up to this losers place and have a very strange threesome. It will be awesome sex for you, and awesome drama to follow! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-r-we-need-to-talk-well-no-i-need-to-talk-to-you-because-im-fed-up/729472.md?page=4)