# April ranters bring May decanters! (April Mini-Rants Thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2012, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555 "2012-04-02T07:30:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/241 "2012-04-14T01:29:34Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > I feel soooo much better. My last day is just a week and a half away. This is going to be financially painful for a while, but I think well worth it. Sanity and Health are worth more than money. Compromising your health and your sanity to continue in a bad situation usually end up costing you money. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/242 "2012-04-14T07:20:13Z")
I’m glad you are leaving your toxic job. I had a job that was so bad that I couldn’t sleep because I knew that I’d have to get up and do it again. When I quit, I could sleep and think again. Your health is worth it and you will probably have an easier time getting a new job when you don’t show up all stressed out at the interviews. I’m considering finding the DSL thread and bitching about it. Bill is here and asleep. The jet lag and time difference wipes him out. He’s got all the pussy he can handle right now. My traitor cats greeted him like he was the only person who ever feeds them just because he brought dried fish treats. I don’t know if I should share this…but…I can tell that Bill is feeling frisky when I see cats getting tossed out of the bedroom. How’s that for kinky foreplay? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/243 "2012-04-14T15:03:00Z")
Goddamn lactose intolerance, I hate you. But I love milk, and all of it’s tasty byproducts. And yes, I know about lactase pills. Sometimes I takes my chances. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/244 "2012-04-14T15:06:37Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > I’m glad you are leaving your toxic job. I had a job that was so bad that I couldn’t sleep because I knew that I’d have to get up and do it again. When I quit, I could sleep and think again. Your health is worth it and you will probably have an easier time getting a new job when you don’t show up all stressed out at the interviews. Yeah, I had that problem, too. I also feel like I can take a deep breath for the first time in years. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/245 "2012-04-14T17:00:19Z")
I just got rickrolled at a porn site! I was at redtube and clicked on ‘red-hot redhead performs solo’ and was rickrolled!! ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/246 "2012-04-14T17:17:05Z")
Hey, bitch handing out ice cream samples at Whole Foods: if you’re actually interested in selling your product, you should at least make an effort to be civil. When your product labels are obscured, and someone asks what’s in a particular ice cream, rolling your eyes and saying “lots of stuff” will not move your product out the door. By the way…this is Raleigh. Atlanta is not “local”. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/247 "2012-04-14T17:26:04Z")
Should probably say something to the store manager. “Say, I thought the people handing out samples were supposed to be friendly and helpful, not assholes.” Probably would end her sample related career. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/248 "2012-04-14T18:22:59Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > I just got rickrolled at a porn site! > > I was at redtube and clicked on ‘red-hot redhead performs solo’ and was rickrolled!! Heh heh heh. _That_ one I can see. 🙂 This is a truly mini-rant - I’ve lost one of my favourite shirts somewhere in my house. How the hell did I misplace a shirt between the washing machine and my closet? I’ve looked all the logical places now (fell behind the washer or dryer, etc.), and I guess the next step is the illogical places. ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/249 "2012-04-14T18:28:07Z")
How big is the shirt? It could have fallen between the barrel and casing of the washer. ---
**Author:** ![Mince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecd19e/32.png) [@Mince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mince)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/250 "2012-04-14T19:02:46Z")
I pit suckheads who use the world as their ashtray. Let’s see, smoke in my lungs? Heck yes, I’ll pay money for that. **Ashes** in the **ash** tray of my car? No fucking way man! ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/251 "2012-04-14T19:33:39Z")
> [@Mince](#): > > **Ashes** in the **ash** tray of my car? No fucking way man! Do cars even have ashtrays anymore? ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/252 "2012-04-14T19:55:38Z")
Mine doesn’t. I have to buy one of those standalone ashtrays and put it in a cupholder. ---
**Author:** ![Stelios](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@Stelios](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stelios)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/253 "2012-04-14T19:59:56Z")
Today is an auspicious day. On this day, which will live and breathe in the annals of history until the heat death of the universe, one man performed a heroic act of self-sacrifice that shamed our greatest martyrs, and made Sydney Carton spin in his literary grave like a fucking dynamo. It occurred in the relatively pedestrian surroundings of Fenchurch Street railway station, London, England. In this humble little terminal, at 14:30pm, a man walked into the public urinal and stepped inside a toilet cubicle. He walked in a man, like any other. He emerged, a God. Upon commencement of this groundbreaking call of nature, the man noticed that a few droplets of urine had, by dint of the extant physical forces at work within the cubicle, fallen onto the toilet seat. It was at this point that he made a decision that would change the game forever. Guess what he did? Yep, that’s right. He got some toilet paper, and he wiped the motherfucker up! I am sick to absolute fucking death of walking into toilets and finding them slicked in piss. What kind of fucking savages are you people, anyway? Listen, you apes, it’s a simple fucking rule: IF YOU _PISS_ ON SOMETHING, _ **CLEAN IT UP!** _ See, if _you_ don’t do it, _I_ have to, because I can’t stand the idea of the next person in the cubicle thinking that _I_ was the filthy motherfucker who emptied his bladder all over the facilities. And I’ve got better things to do than wipe up your piss. Arseholes. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/254 "2012-04-14T21:18:51Z")
> [@WolfpackJeep](#): > > Hey, bitch handing out ice cream samples at Whole Foods: if you’re actually interested in selling your product, you should at least make an effort to be civil. When your product labels are obscured, and someone asks what’s in a particular ice cream, rolling your eyes and saying “lots of stuff” will not move your product out the door. By the way…this is Raleigh. Atlanta is not “local”. Perhaps she got lost and thought she was in Charlanta? ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/255 "2012-04-14T21:42:06Z")
I just found out why my roommate is not paying his part of the cable bill. “I’ve never seen the bill.” Motherfucker, I told you how much you owed me. I don’t have to show you the damn bill. You don’t show me the rent bill so I know how much of that I’m paying you (half, if what I’ve heard is correct) and I \*know \*the money I’m paying you is going straight to your DVD/PS3 fund. It will be a downright \*pleasure \*when I cut off your internet without warning. If I could get my hands on an EMP to wipe out your PS3, I’d do that too. Just remember: karma is a bitch and it never fails. And yes, this is the same guy who thinks Pepsi uses aborted fetuses. ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/256 "2012-04-14T22:22:44Z")
Regarding “open availability” scheduling… > [@rachelellogram](#): > > Please tell us what company is using this as a scheduling strategy, so I can avoid giving them my dollars. Hope you don’t like discount stores or warehouse clubs. Kmart, Target, Walmart/Sam’s Club, Meijer, and Costco all have moved to this model, at least for some positions in the store (usually cashiers on all shifts and daytime non-management personnel). It’s supposed to be a way to address the ebbs and flows of customer traffic. The other kicker besides simply screwing with the employee’s life and making it difficult to go to school, find child care, make appointments, etc., is that “open availability” also means that most employees hired now are part-time, getting 32 or fewer hours a week. Lower take home pay, fewer benefits, more difficult to get on the company’s insurance, and the unpredictability of the schedules week over week make it difficult if not impossible to try to work a second job to make ends meet. ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2012, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/257 "2012-04-14T23:29:40Z")
Sort of good news. I have just realised that after seeing my GP on Tuesday I probably wont have to tell my sorry saga to anyone new for some time. I am getting counselling so I wont be able to not tell anyone at all but the thought of no one new knowing… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 2:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/258 "2012-04-15T02:20:29Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > I just found out why my roommate is not paying his part of the cable bill. > > “I’ve never seen the bill.” > > Motherfucker, I told you how much you owed me. I don’t have to show you the damn bill. You don’t show me the rent bill so I know how much of that I’m paying you (half, if what I’ve heard is correct) and I \*know \*the money I’m paying you is going straight to your DVD/PS3 fund. > > It will be a downright \*pleasure \*when I cut off your internet without warning. If I could get my hands on an EMP to wipe out your PS3, I’d do that too. Just remember: karma is a bitch and it never fails. > > And yes, this is the same guy who thinks Pepsi uses aborted fetuses. **Spaz** , go into the router, change the password, and lock that mother down, ban the idiots MAC addresses. His laptop will go nowhere, and the PS3 will be reduced to a expensive BluRay player. Karma his ass! ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/259 "2012-04-15T02:54:54Z")
> [@Soylent\_Juicy](#): > > Listen you little shits, I’ve lived here for over two years now and you haven’t figured out that I don’t like children yet? I am polite to you, I help you if you need it, but I am _not_ a child-oriented person. Just because I gave you Freezies a couple times last summer in an attempt to be nice so hopefully you’ll respect our house & yard doesn’t mean you can yell at me when I got home from work the other day going “GIVE US FREEZIES! WE WANT SUGAR! SU-GAR! SU-GAR!!” It’s going to make me dislike you, and children in general, even more. Morons. Little bastards shook me down for Freezies again today, but they eventually asked politely and said “Thank you.” There is still not a strong enough word to describe how much I dislike children, though. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2012, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/260 "2012-04-15T04:15:01Z")
> [@spooje](#): > > I just got rickrolled at a porn site! > > I was at redtube and clicked on ‘red-hot redhead performs solo’ and was rickrolled!! That’s not rant-worthy, that’s hilarious! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555.md?page=14)