# April ranters bring May decanters! (April Mini-Rants Thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2012, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555 "2012-04-02T07:30:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/321 "2012-04-19T11:43:14Z")
So yesterday the police came round and put some serious pressure on me to press charges (for over an hour). They were not supposed to do that. My sexual assault worker got to yell at them. Later in the day a (ha!) trusted friend decided to tell me that by not pressing charges **I** would be responsible for any other rapes that fucker might commit. I hung up on her. Tonight she was justifying herself and what she said. I asked her not to contact me. Fuck fuck fuck It is bad enough what happened without that sort of “help”. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/322 "2012-04-19T13:07:42Z")
I stepped in dog poo this morning. Brand new fucking sandals, bought yesterday. I am digusted with myself, disgusted with dog owners, and digusted with dogs. Smelly pack of mongrels, and I refer to both the owners and the dogs! This was on my own fucking property! I don’t even own a goddamn dog and yet I have to watch out for landmines! What the fuck is wrong with people? How is it Ok to let your mongrel poop on other people’s yards and just walk away like a blithe motherfucker? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR ---
**Author:** ![kayT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayt/32/3633_2.png) [@kayT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayT)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/323 "2012-04-19T13:35:41Z")
> [@MissTake](#): > > I frickin’ hate removing wallpaper. Hate hate hate. Oh, sure, it was just a border, not the whole damn room, but I swear that shit was cemented on. We tried the Downy. We tried the legit stuff. Ended up renting a steamer. What a fucking mess. I scalded my chest, peeled paint down gawd knows how many layers, have a stack of wet towels from wiping up the floor… but that shit is gone. Hallelujah. > > Now to patch, sand, and paint. Gah. You haven’t lived until you have removed textured wallpaper that someone had painted over. But that was not the worst. The worst was the linoleum (!) that someone had used for shelf paper in the kitchen, and glued down with rubber cement. My husband got some solvent for me to use to remove this mess, and the combination of top of the ladder, head in cabinet and solvent made me drunker than I ever remember being. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/324 "2012-04-19T13:51:23Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Could be someone who learned to drive in places where “drive on the right except when passing” is drilled heavily and where, if what you call the “curb lane” is supposed to be used for parking and not for driving, it is marked so. One of the things my coworkers and I found very confusing in Scotland was curb lanes which were “lanes” at certain hours and “parking spots” at others (those don’t exist in Spain - we have spots which are “parking” at certain hours and “stopping” at others but not this); they were marked both as a regular lane and as parking spots, and if you didn’t know the hours for one of them and you were looking for a parking spot you couldn’t just assume that seeing a bunch of parked cars meant it was legal to park… I suppose that’s possible; from the rest of their driving “skills,” it seems more likely that they have never been trained at all. Judging from the banged up condition of their mini-van, they probably don’t understand why people keep hitting them. ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/325 "2012-04-19T14:09:22Z")
> [@JohnT](#): > > So my wife goes to everybody’s Too Big To Fail bank, Bank of America, last Friday to pay off a $500 balance on a credit card of hers. Apparently BoA had purchased her card account so she wanted to see if it was easy to pay the bill at the counter. > > Heh-heh. Sheeeeee-it. > > Laura thought it odd that she had to sign a carbon of some sort, but figured that must be the process, so there you go. Card is paid off. Yay! > > Saturday comes, no deduction from our account for the amount the card was paid off. > > Sunday comes, same thing with the checking account. However, the following transactions appeared on Laura’s credit card: > > 1. A cash advance of $500, > 2. A payment of $500, > 3. A transaction fee of $88! > > Somehow, the little dingbat at TBTF-BoA paid off my wife’s credit card with a cash advance drawn from the same card\*! > > It’s fixed, but what a dumbass! > > \*I didn’t even know that was possible. “Can I charge my charge card payment?” Dumbshits. I cancelled my accounts with BoA last Friday and switched to a local credit union. I did online banking with them for years and never got spammed by them, I’ll give them that much. Yesterday I got an email advertising BoA’s online bill pay service! All I have to do is log into my account that no longer exists and sign up! I “opted out” of their “future promotional emails,” checking their radio button for “promotional services are not relevant to me” as the reason, since “I no longer have an account with your service-fee-charging asses” wasn’t an option. We’ll see how long it takes before they send me another one. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/326 "2012-04-19T14:40:13Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I suppose that’s possible; from the rest of their driving “skills,” it seems more likely that they have never been trained at all. Judging from the banged up condition of their mini-van, they probably don’t understand why people keep hitting them. Their being drunk is another possibility. That’s the first thought that would come into my mind if I saw someone doing this. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/327 "2012-04-19T15:08:52Z")
> [@kayT](#): > > You haven’t lived until you have removed textured wallpaper that someone had painted over. But that was not the worst. The worst was the linoleum (!) that someone had used for shelf paper in the kitchen, and glued down with rubber cement. My husband got some solvent for me to use to remove this mess, and the combination of top of the ladder, head in cabinet and solvent made me drunker than I ever remember being. When we painted TheKid’s room we discovered that at some point it had been papered and painted over. We had never noticed it before, but now you can see the lovely vertical seams all over one wall. I told her to hang up some posters and call it a day. My house is not terribly old - built in 1946 - but the previous owners had spurrious taste at best (at one point every surface appears to have been painted seafoam green, including the woodwork and at one point the kitchen was painted a violent pink with bright blue woodwork) and they sucked at fixing the walls. In one corner of my room it looks like they used cellotape, then painted over it. There are lumps of paint in another corner. All I know is that this shit HAS to be finished fast, as my decrepit self cannot sleep on the living room floor again. ---
**Author:** ![Silver\_Tyger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Silver\_Tyger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silver_Tyger)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/328 "2012-04-19T15:15:29Z")
Not as minor as my last one: I ended up washing a couple of pairs of underwear in the sink since the rest of them are at my parents’ place still and, despite being next to the laundry room, I don’t have detergent yet. (And I didn’t want to drive 45 minutes, load my car, and unload it again.) I hung them on a couple of door knobs to dry over night. They didn’t. So I’m at work in damp underwear. But at least they’re clean! ---
**Author:** ![Mom-of-Andrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8c91f0/32.png) [@Mom-of-Andrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mom-of-Andrew)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/329 "2012-04-19T15:15:56Z")
> [@madrabbitwoman](#): > > … a (ha!) trusted friend decided to tell me that by not pressing charges **I** would be responsible for any other rapes that fucker might commit. I hung up on her. Tonight she was justifying herself and what she said. I asked her not to contact me. > Fuck > fuck > fuck > It is bad enough what happened without that sort of “help”. Yeah. I had some helpful soul tell me when I was in my early twenties that because I never told anyone that I was raped at 12 made me responsible for ‘all the other girls he’s done this to since. You don’t really think you’re the only girl he’s raped, do you?’ I wish I knew enough then to tell them not to contact me anymore. Good for you. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/330 "2012-04-19T16:00:57Z")
> [@Lacunae\_Matata](#): > > Seriously? Another deer? In the past 12 months, I’ve hit one, and Mr. M has hit three! We should at least have a freezer-ful of venison to show for our efforts, but no, not even that! > > Lesson learned: if one must hit a deer at highway speeds, do so while driving a 2006 Sierra pickup. A few months ago a deer ran into the side of my Honda Civic, shattering the rear side window and filling my car interior with bloodstained broken glass shards and floating deer hair. I never even found the deer— he made it at least as far as the edge of the road and disappeared into the woods. Judging from the gore on the edge of the broken window, I suspect he wasn’t feeling too good. Since then I’ve seen at least eight dead deer on the side of the road within a couple of miles of that same spot. I’m afraid it’s only a matter of time until my number comes up again. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/331 "2012-04-19T17:35:11Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > A few months ago a deer ran into the side of my Honda Civic, shattering the rear side window and filling my car interior with bloodstained broken glass shards and floating deer hair. I never even found the deer— he made it at least as far as the edge of the road and disappeared into the woods. Judging from the gore on the edge of the broken window, I suspect he wasn’t feeling too good. > > Since then I’ve seen at least eight dead deer on the side of the road within a couple of miles of that same spot. I’m afraid it’s only a matter of time until my number comes up again. Can you ask the local govt. (city? county?) to put a “Deer X-ing” sign in that area? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/332 "2012-04-19T18:05:50Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > Can you ask the local govt. (city? county?) to put a “Deer X-ing” sign in that area? Not a bad idea. Think they’ll use the crosswalks? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/333 "2012-04-19T19:08:36Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > Their being drunk is another possibility. That’s the first thought that would come into my mind if I saw someone doing this. They were only going to one side, though, as though they were afraid to drive in the driving lane. Drunk is definitely a possibility, though. On one season of “Canada’s Worst Driver” there was a legally licensed driver who always drove in the middle of the road if he could - not the middle of the lane, the middle of the road. They trained him out of that right quick. I wonder if it’s the same thing as that. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/334 "2012-04-19T19:13:14Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > They were only going to one side, though, as though they were afraid to drive in the driving lane. Drunk is definitely a possibility, though. > > On one season of “Canada’s Worst Driver” there was a legally licensed driver who always drove in the middle of the road if he could - not the middle of the lane, the middle of the road. They trained him out of that right quick. I wonder if it’s the same thing as that. It might be, or just a new driver. My daughter is (finally) learning to drive and it’s like there’s a magnet drawing her towards the curb. I get that oncoming traffic is scary but she always ends up inches from the curb and on occasion closer! She has her professional instructor time this weekend and I hope to god he’s got better luck breaking her of it than I have so far. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/335 "2012-04-19T19:28:23Z")
> [@Moonlitherial](#): > > It might be, or just a new driver. My daughter is (finally) learning to drive and it’s like there’s a magnet drawing her towards the curb. I get that oncoming traffic is scary but she always ends up inches from the curb and on occasion closer! She has her professional instructor time this weekend and I hope to god he’s got better luck breaking her of it than I have so far. That’s probably it - oncoming traffic is scary, if you’re so badly trained and incompetent that you don’t know how to drive around it. The driving instructor will probably have better luck - he can explain to her all the dangerous reasons that you just don’t do that. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/336 "2012-04-19T21:15:02Z")
> [@Mom-of-Andrew](#): > > Yeah. I had some helpful soul tell me when I was in my early twenties that because I never told anyone that I was raped at 12 made me responsible for ‘all the other girls he’s done this to since. You don’t really think you’re the only girl he’s raped, do you?’ > > I wish I knew enough then to tell them not to contact me anymore. Good for you. It’s people like that that make you wish for a death ray. ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2012, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/337 "2012-04-19T23:19:36Z")
Sadly when I asked for no contact. She went on the attack again. Gah. I can’t win. I am not even allowed to feel how I feel. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/338 "2012-04-20T00:42:47Z")
Today a dog almost destroyed my vagina. I was walking to work when I saw the dog and its owner. The guy was talking to someone, and the dog was sniffing the ground. I gave them a wide birth–or at least I thought I did. When I got to the corner and stood beside them, the dog lunged at me. His chompers bit me about an inch from my crotch. Praise be to the minor diety that protects vaginas! The dog’s teeth ripped into my pants, making a big hole, and my underwear got a little tear. But the flesh was left intact. Believe me, I practically pulled down my pants right there on the street to make sure, because there was some pain. But I think it was caused by the physical force of the lunge. I am such a dummy. I was so shocked by the encounter that I just kept walking after it happened. The guy yelled his apology and asked if I was alright. I nodded before I had even checked myself. I was a good distance away from them before I finally assessed the damage. I’d like to think that if the dog really had gotten me, I wouldn’t have just waved them off like that. But I’m not sure. I kept walking on to work, debating with myself whether to go home to change pants. Or just throw in the towel and have a mental health day. But I had a morning conference call to get to. Plus, I was afraid if I went home, the bad mood would just ferment into something self-destructive. So I went to work, explained the giant hole in my pants to everyone who looked like they would halfway care, treated myself to a good lunch, and made it through the day. I know this is going to sound strange, but I’ve never really worried about my vagina before. I saw its uneventful life flash before my eyes today. It now has a bucket list. It wants to see the Grand Canyon. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/339 "2012-04-20T00:47:35Z")
I think you mean your vulva. 🙂 (I don’t believe I’ve ever typed that sentence before.) What it is with the freaking dogs these days? I don’t go a day without seeing an off-leash, out-of-control dog here. I never go walking without my dog repellent spray now. The people at the other end of the hotline to call for dog problems are getting to know me by first name. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/340 "2012-04-20T01:03:01Z")
> [@madrabbitwoman](#): > > I am not even allowed to feel how I feel. Of course you are. Fuck people who tell you otherwise. Look, people (and this includes you and me) are always trying to make sense of the world. That’s why we have labels, and classifications, and categories and shit. They’re pidgeon-holes we like to stick shit in (including other people) so that we can fool ourselves into comfort over the idea that “we know what that is”. People (and again, this includes you and me) get uncomfortable when people and things step out of the places we’ve put them in. And as you will hear me say endlessly, powerlessness leads to fear, fear leads to anger, anger is merely an attempt to regain power. So when people get angry at you for stepping out of the box they’ve put you in, remember that they’re angry because they’re uncomfortable and confused. They’re trying to blunt force you back into the order they want to see and make their world make sense again. To return to their comfortable illusion of order and control. It really has little to do with you other than as an object in their vision of order. See their anger as just that, and if you can, laugh at it (just not necessarily in their face). Let them worry about sorting out their own order and working out what new box they should be putting you in. It isn’t your worry. You have enough to do with your own order and set of boxes. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555.md?page=18)