# April ranters bring May decanters! (April Mini-Rants Thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2012, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555 "2012-04-02T07:30:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/341 "2012-04-20T03:16:35Z")
**Chimera** speaks the truth. **madrabbitwoman** , feel how you feel. Get through this in the way that lets you heal. You aren’t responsible for that sadist’s actions - he is. ---
**Author:** ![Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Springtime\_for\_Spacers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Springtime_for_Spacers)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/342 "2012-04-20T03:48:28Z")
Just wrote a really long kitty post, with links and everything, clicked on Go Advanced and had it come up _Internet says NO_. Post lost. Gonna have to start saving before posting again. Bah, fucksticks. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/343 "2012-04-20T04:41:25Z")
**madrabbitwoman** Your feelings are very valid. My stepfather sexually molested me until I ran away. I was ashamed and guilt ridden over it. When I told my birth mother, she said that I was lieing and that it was my fault. The shame followed me for years. This wasn’t your fault. Please don’t feel guilty or ashamed about what happened. You were raped. You were a victim at that moment, but now you need to be a survivor. Be strong and tell anyone who blames you to just shut the fuck up and go away. Anyone who judges you over what you do now isn’t anyone worth talking to. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/344 "2012-04-20T04:49:07Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I stepped in dog poo this morning. Brand new fucking sandals, bought yesterday. I am digusted with myself, disgusted with dog owners, and digusted with dogs. Smelly pack of mongrels, and I refer to both the owners and the dogs! This was on my own fucking property! I don’t even own a goddamn dog and yet I have to watch out for landmines! What the fuck is wrong with people? How is it Ok to let your mongrel poop on other people’s yards and just walk away like a blithe motherfucker? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Here they turn their mongrels loose to roam the neighborhood all day and poop where ever they feel like it. The next door neighbor once called animal control when we were gone for 10 days and so hadn’t cleaned up the dog poop in the boulevard during that time. Poop from dogs illegally running loose. That we don’t own. Animal control said we are responsible to clean it up, even when we are on vacation, and refused a request to come down and haul the loose dogs away. I miss the days when I lived on acreage and could shoot at them. ---
**Author:** ![Algher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Algher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algher)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/345 "2012-04-20T05:24:24Z")
Late night snack machine dinner as I finish a project that I was putting off. Unfortunately, they asked for a meeting tomorrow afternoon to review the document. So I have to finish it. Now. With a stomach full of chips, candy bars and cashews. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/346 "2012-04-20T10:20:23Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > I know this is going to sound strange, but I’ve never really worried about my vagina before. I saw its uneventful life flash before my eyes today. It now has a bucket list. It wants to see the Grand Canyon. I’m glad your vagina is OK and hope it fulfills its bucket list soon. The event was horrid but your telling is cracking me up. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/347 "2012-04-20T11:24:27Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > I’m glad your vagina is OK and hope it fulfills its bucket list soon. The event was horrid but your telling is cracking me up. Agreed, that is just fantastic phrasing. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/348 "2012-04-20T14:31:36Z")
Look, I’m pretty darn happy with myself. I have my faults but I have a positive attitude about make improvements. So I don’t need to “share” your stupid Facebook update showing that I support our troops/think my kids are great/want to save the baby seals/love Jesus. No, not sharing doesn’t mean I don’t agree with whatever bullshit you support. It means that I don’t feel the need to stroke my own ego and prove to the world what a kindhearted great guy I am. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/349 "2012-04-20T14:38:11Z")
Thumbs up to **monstro** ’s tale-telling abilities, and thumbs down to the $%&\*!s in **madrabbitwoman** ’s life. _turns head_ I’m sorry your tender bits got such a terrifying scare _turns head to other side_ and I’m really (no more haha post here, I’m serious now) really \*\*\*really \*\*\* sorry you’re getting such shitty feedback after this happened to you. I hope you were just venting up there, and that you do know, deep down, that you are in fact allowed to feel however you want to feel. Your “friend” is no friend, I can tell you that much. Me? Oh, not much. Certainly nothing in the same level as the above. But it’s an “M&Ms for breakfast” kind of a day, which is never a good sign. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/350 "2012-04-20T17:17:47Z")
Crap. As I feared, the really high-ups in the company where I’ve been contracting have decided there’s not enough money in the budget to extend the contracts for three tech writers who have, individually and collectively, been kicking some serious ass. Our last day is May 15 (seriously? A Tuesday?), and we have to transition our work over before then. Never mind that the product itself is still not complete and has at least 3 more months before GA. Ah, well. I’m disappointed for a number of reasons, not least that it’s been a lot of fun working for this company. They treat their employees \*and \*their contractors well, which is not something you always see. And this morning I woke up after a night spent looking at the clock every 30 minutes or so with sinuses full of teh ugli. All in all, not a day I really wanted to be having. ---
**Author:** ![Runestar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/74df32/32.png) [@Runestar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runestar)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/351 "2012-04-20T18:02:58Z")
Apple iTunes store: I don’t want to “update my security questions” yet another fucking time - especially since you want me to choose three questions from what’s becoming an increasingly lame-o list. My wife just wants to buy some apps for her new iPad. Stop acting like you’re guarding the gates to Fort Knox. And if you make me change my password again, I’m going to get all stabby. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/352 "2012-04-20T19:01:20Z")
> [@Runestar](#): > > And if you make me change my password again, I’m going to get all stabby. **Runestar** , whats so bad about having a 37 letter password, not dictionary searchable, with a minimum 6 number, 7 capital, and 9 symbols that are created useing the ALT key? It will only be changed every 30 days. ---
**Author:** ![purplehorseshoe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/purplehorseshoe/32/2996_2.png) [@purplehorseshoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purplehorseshoe)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/353 "2012-04-20T20:03:02Z")
Yeah, jeez, **Runestar.** - gets a rumbledy in her tumbledy, gets tired of fruit and cheese, hits the drive-thru for a very small, cheap, but delicious snack\* - sits down at desk\* - anticipate \* … Awwww, they got my order totally wrong. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/354 "2012-04-20T21:31:22Z")
I replied to a craigslist posting for advice- someone’s cat was “jaelus” that they have a baby and has been peeing on all the baby’s stuff. I kindly (really! not snarky or mean) informed them that animals do not have human emotions, and that it was much more likely that the cat has a uti or other health problem and she should take it to the vet. Oh, boy. That’s obviously not what she wanted to hear, judging by the abusive language in her response to me. Sorry, dumbass, I didn’t know that you only wanted to anthropomorphize your fucking cat and didn’t actually want a rational, logical answer. My bad! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/355 "2012-04-20T21:41:59Z")
Oh Joy, the hot water had gone out in my building. Add to that, the Mensa students on the condo board pissed off the company that was pinch hitting as a management company, (since our last one walked) and calling any of the three board members that caused that little issue on the new problem gets “Bambi in headlights” over the phone. I ended the conversation with the board chairman with a reminder that the board of health requires hot water to the units, and would look badly at them if they were to get a phone call in the morning… ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/356 "2012-04-20T22:05:00Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > What it is with the freaking dogs these days? I don’t go a day without seeing an off-leash, out-of-control dog here. I never go walking without my dog repellent spray now. The people at the other end of the hotline to call for dog problems are getting to know me by first name. Yesterday I was hiking and I saw a big black some-kind-of-mix off-lead dog that looked like it involved several bitey breeds come barrelling towards me while her owner called half-heartedly from fifty feet behind. The dog just wagged her tail at me, fortunately. The owner sauntered up and said, “Oh she looks scary but she’s not.” As she was holding the dog’s leash in her hand. Fuck you, lady. Leash your mutt. This is a hiking trail in the woods along the Blue Ridge Parkway and I do believe it is a regulation of said trails that you\* leash your goddamn dog\*. Don’t come crying to me when a black bear decides your mutt makes a good snack. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/357 "2012-04-20T22:09:24Z")
> [@madrabbitwoman](#): > > Sadly when I asked for no contact. She went on the attack again. Gah. I can’t win. I am not even allowed to feel how I feel. This is why the Good Lord and technology (or the Good Lord of Technology) gave us caller ID. Just remember, there are a lot of internet strangers who wish you well and want what’s best for you. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2012, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/358 "2012-04-20T23:36:13Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > Yesterday I was hiking and I saw a big black some-kind-of-mix off-lead dog that looked like it involved several bitey breeds come barrelling towards me while her owner called half-heartedly from fifty feet behind. The dog just wagged her tail at me, fortunately. The owner sauntered up and said, “Oh she looks scary but she’s not.” As she was holding the dog’s leash in her hand. Fuck you, lady. Leash your mutt. This is a hiking trail in the woods along the Blue Ridge Parkway and I do believe it is a regulation of said trails that you\* leash your goddamn dog\*. Don’t come crying to me when a black bear decides your mutt makes a good snack. When I was out doing census calls last week, a guy was chasing after his medium-sized dog who was just running free, and right towards me. I grabbed my pepper spray and pointed it towards the dog. The guy called to me, in an exasperated tone of voice, “He’s not going to do anything to you!” You’re goddamned right he isn’t - he’s going to get a face full of pepper spray because YOU’RE a lousy dog owner. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/359 "2012-04-21T02:02:53Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I think you mean your vulva. 🙂 I’d like to pit this sudden specificity whose bloody head has lately emerged. Yes, I know it’s technically correct, but the external female genitalia has been colloquially referred to as “vagina” in crude jokes since I was a snickering kid. Can’t we excuse it as a form of metonymy, or something? ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/360 "2012-04-21T04:12:50Z")
Someone sent my ex-fiance the link to my engagement announcement in the paper. I haven’t talked to him for almost 2 years and suddenly he’s flooding my email calling me a cheating bitch and threatening me with physical harm. He’s also left messages on my phone, I haven’t listened to them, but I expect they are not nice. He’s an idiot. He’s a Marine. If this keeps up, I’ll have to find out where he’s stationed and then contact the base commander. I used to think that he was smart. When he broke up with me, I tried to be considerate to his parents and I refinanced our home to take his name off the mortgage. I didn’t want to damage his career, hurt his family and finances. Now…I’m just pissed off. You folks probably don’t know that I can be a real bitch when its needed, but I can and will if this shit continues tomorrow. AND, Bill isn’t being much help. His answer to the problem was that I should just pack up my cats, quit my job and move to Texas tonight. Oh, and there is a file in the RatKing’s Lair that is needed for court next week. That continuing saga will go in the workplace ranting thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555.md?page=19)