# April ranters bring May decanters! (April Mini-Rants Thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2012, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555 "2012-04-02T07:30:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/361 "2012-04-21T04:20:37Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I’d like to pit this sudden specificity whose bloody head has lately emerged. Yes, I know it’s technically correct, but the external female genitalia has been colloquially referred to as “vagina” in crude jokes since I was a snickering kid. Can’t we excuse it as a form of metonymy, or something? I was just foolin’ around with **monstro** - I don’t care that much. It taint a big deal. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/362 "2012-04-21T04:54:51Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > He’s an idiot… Oh, we’re so sorry. > [@](#): > > …continuing saga will go in the workplace ranting thread. Oh, we’re so happy. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/363 "2012-04-21T05:00:06Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > I’d like to pit this sudden specificity whose bloody head has lately emerged. Yes, I know it’s technically correct, but the external female genitalia has been colloquially referred to as “vagina” in crude jokes since I was a snickering kid. Can’t we excuse it as a form of metonymy, or something? Plus and excuse me if this squiches anybody, but her vagina was in danger too. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/364 "2012-04-21T05:04:37Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Someone sent my ex-fiance the link to my engagement announcement in the paper. I haven’t talked to him for almost 2 years and suddenly he’s flooding my email calling me a cheating bitch and threatening me with physical harm. He’s also left messages on my phone, I haven’t listened to them, but I expect they are not nice. > > He’s an idiot. He’s a Marine. If this keeps up, I’ll have to find out where he’s stationed and then contact the base commander. I used to think that he was smart. When he broke up with me, I tried to be considerate to his parents and I refinanced our home to take his name off the mortgage. I didn’t want to damage his career, hurt his family and finances. Underline mine: that’s what I was thinking as I read up to that bit… “wasn’t he the one who suddenly decided he was _marrying_ someone else?” What? The? FUCK? ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/365 "2012-04-21T05:10:19Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > The owner sauntered up and said, “Oh she looks scary but she’s not.” “What a coincidence. I don’t look scary but _I totally am_.” 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/366 "2012-04-21T07:55:06Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > This is why the Good Lord and technology (or the Good Lord of Technology) gave us caller ID. > > Just remember, there are a lot of internet strangers who wish you well and want what’s best for you. Seconded **madrabbitwoman**. You’re doing the right things for you. ---
**Author:** ![madrabbitwoman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c37758/32.png) [@madrabbitwoman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madrabbitwoman)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/367 "2012-04-21T09:00:09Z")
thanks folks. Everything is still such a mess without it being added to ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/368 "2012-04-21T10:15:57Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > When I was out doing census calls last week, a guy was chasing after his medium-sized dog who was just running free, and right towards me. I grabbed my pepper spray and pointed it towards the dog. The guy called to me, in an exasperated tone of voice, “He’s not going to do anything to you!” You’re goddamned right he isn’t - he’s going to get a face full of pepper spray because YOU’RE a lousy dog owner. You know, that’s an idea. I need to get a hiking kit together to put in my car (I usually go for a quick trip after work three-four days a week) and I’ve been meaning to put my pepper spray in there. I’ve heard it’s good for bears, but the bears around here mostly stay away from people (unless they’ve learned to get in the garbage). It’ll be most useful for those damn off-lead dogs. Heck, the owners probably won’t even know what’s happened–the dogs are usually 50 to 100 feet ahead and these trails get very curvy in some places. 😃 Note: I like some dogs. I used to have one I was very fond of. However, she was a 70-lb German Shepherd/yellow lab mix and she always stayed on her leash because she was strong and hyper. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/369 "2012-04-21T13:03:03Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I was just foolin’ around with **monstro** - I don’t care that much. It taint a big deal. Great, now _I’m_ the one obsessed with vaginas/vulvas. Hmm. Actually… ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/370 "2012-04-21T13:05:40Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Plus and excuse me if this squiches anybody, but her vagina was in danger too. And my clitoris too! ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/371 "2012-04-21T14:07:56Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I was just foolin’ around with **monstro** - I don’t care that much. It taint a big deal. 😉 I see what you did there! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/372 "2012-04-21T14:32:25Z")
Grrr, still no hot water. Seems the hot water heater let go and flooded the utility room. Again. Two weeks after the one across the street did the same thing. If history repeats itself, building two will be having a flood in a month or so. Same pattern happened in 2004. Condo boards answer is to call the people who they pissed off to deal with it. I forsee a torch and pitchfork gathering at the next board meeting… ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/373 "2012-04-21T18:49:11Z")
> [@hermette](#): > > Cookie. She looks like a cookie to me, and you’ve earned cookies by doing good \*\*madrabbitwoman \*\*🙂 > > \*\*Snakescatlady \*\*- I’m not sure what to say to you apart from _hugs_. How long ago was it friends-daughter lost her son? > > Obligatory minirant - my semi-hoarder mother just emptied an ottoman full of old musty sheets, yay! And of course is now trying to dispose of them by giving them to me. > > (I managed to refuse the kind offer, and suggesting she pass them to the charity shop I work at, even if they’re not sellable, we get cash for rags, so they’re still doing good. She didn’t look impressed.) Hermette, you might consider taking them and donating them for her. for somepeople this is a hard thing to do and having a middleman makes it easier. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/374 "2012-04-21T19:31:28Z")
Fuck cancer. My sister-in-law has been through two rounds of treatment for breast cancer (went into remission, recurred, had treatment plus double mastectomy) and now it turns out it’s metastasized and she has advanced cancer in her lungs and kidneys. The thing is, her surgery was in January and she was pronounced a month ago to have had a type of cancer that had an excellent prognosis and to not need chemo. So how fast did it spring up in her lungs that it wasn’t noticed when they found it in her breasts again? It’s apparently “treatable” but I don’t know what that means. With cancer, there’s treatable and then there’s **treatable**. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/375 "2012-04-21T21:10:18Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > “What a coincidence. I don’t look scary but _I totally am_.” > > 😉 Ooh, I like that! > [@SpazCat](#): > > You know, that’s an idea. I need to get a hiking kit together to put in my car (I usually go for a quick trip after work three-four days a week) and I’ve been meaning to put my pepper spray in there. I’ve heard it’s good for bears, but the bears around here mostly stay away from people (unless they’ve learned to get in the garbage). It’ll be most useful for those damn off-lead dogs. Heck, the owners probably won’t even know what’s happened–the dogs are usually 50 to 100 feet ahead and these trails get very curvy in some places. 😃 > > Note: I like some dogs. I used to have one I was very fond of. However, she was a 70-lb German Shepherd/yellow lab mix and she always stayed on her leash because she was strong and hyper. I like some dogs, too. I’m not particlarly scared of dogs, either - I just don’t _know_ these dogs. I have no idea what their reactions will be and what they are capable of doing, and I don’t want to find out the hard way. ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/376 "2012-04-21T21:45:28Z")
Crap. I can’t fucking believe it took me this long to figure it out. Fuck fuck fuck. ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/377 "2012-04-21T22:08:33Z")
I really hate job hunting. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/378 "2012-04-21T22:23:31Z")
We need more details, **living\_in\_hell**. Without them, we don’t know if we should be pointing and laughing, or offering sympathy and advice. Tony again. Le sigh. Tony loves his pets more than anything. Tony is stubborn. Tony’s old cat stopped eating and drinking, and Tony thinks that vets won’t do anything but cost a lot of money which he doesn’t have. I think that Tony’s cat is in kidney failure and knowing that Tony can’t afford to treat kitty, we talked it over and I called the visiting vet to go to Tony’s house and put his cat down on Tuesday. This was not easy because Tony scared her when she put his last cat down, so because she has the mistaken idea that I can “control” Tony, she wants me there. Thankfully, I have a cool boss who understood that I needed to take Tuesday afternoon off to be with Tony when his cat crosses the Bridge. I paid the vet $300.00. (This is reasonable IMO. Its an hour drive one way, and she’s scared.) Last night, I went to Tony’s house and gave kitty sub-q fluids. I also beat Tony with sticks until he let me give kitty some Trader Joe’s\* tuna for cats. (well, I didn’t really beat him, but we did get into a big screaming fight. I can outstubborn a cat, humans are easy.) Today, kitty is drinking, peeing and happily eating stinky tuna, so Tony wants to call off the vet visit. I feel like going back over and beating him with sticks again. \*for those who have cats and a Trader Joe’s, I highly recommend their catfood. Its good quality and much cheaper than comparable brands. ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/379 "2012-04-21T22:24:32Z")
Hang in there Morgyn. Hunting brings more hope than the realization you are stuck. ---
**Author:** ![living\_in\_hell](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3d9bf3/32.png) [@living\_in\_hell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/living_in_hell)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2012, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/380 "2012-04-21T22:29:51Z")
I was hired to do a job that, while it sounded perfect, has been nothing short of a nightmare. I just realized today that there is a much larger plan in place—that involves restructuring and most likely, sending me elsewhere. It is actually much better, but I’m just pissed off at myself that I put in so much blood, sweat, and tears into trying to fix a program that won’t be around much longer. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555.md?page=20)