# April ranters bring May decanters! (April Mini-Rants Thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 2, 2012, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555 "2012-04-02T07:30:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2012, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/101 "2012-04-07T22:10:07Z")
Very lame rant, but I don’t know if I’m engaged. Bill thinks we are because we both know that we will be married someday. When he asked me if I’d given any thought to the date (because the place he wants the reception is always booked out at least 6 months), I told him that we needed to get engaged before I started planning the wedding. Confusion happened for a few minutes, but we got over it. The only time Bill’s accent shows is when he’s stressed or excited. I told him that he needed to go down on one knee and slip a ring over my finger to be engaged. He told me to make dinner reservations for next weekend and his cute Texan drawl came out when he asked if he needed to pack his tux. So…am I engaged now that we have a date to get engaged. I’m so confused. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2012, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/102 "2012-04-07T22:51:53Z")
One of my roommates got onto me for drinking a Dr. Pepper today because, according to him, “Pepsi products are made with aborted fetuses.” What the _ **fuck** _?!?!? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2012, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/103 "2012-04-07T23:21:11Z")
Dr. Pepper isn’t, strictly speaking, a Pepsi product. It and 7-Up are independent of Coca-Cola and Pepsi. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/104 "2012-04-07T23:33:29Z")
Mmmm, delicious, carbonated aborted fetus. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/105 "2012-04-07T23:59:53Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Dr. Pepper isn’t, strictly speaking, a Pepsi product. It and 7-Up are independent of Coca-Cola and Pepsi. So–the part of the statement “Pepsi products are made with aborted fetuses” you’re objecting to is whether or not Dr Pepper is actually a Pepsi product? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/106 "2012-04-08T00:11:04Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > One of my roommates got onto me for drinking a Dr. Pepper today because, according to him, “Pepsi products are made with aborted fetuses.” I’m laughing in a very uncomfortable way, only because there are so many reasons that assertion is ridiculous. 1. Can we say risk of contamination? There are a hell of a lot of health codes that would prohibit this. 2. A lot of laws, too. I don’t know exactly which law(s) would apply, but something has to. 3. It’s not what you’d call a renewable resource, the way sugar cane or kola beans are. 4. What’s the advantage to PepsiCo? How do they use solid objects to make their liquid soft drinks? How much fetus is in one 12-oz Pepsi? Did this guy see the Slurm Factory episode of Futurama when he was high or feverish? 5. These rumors about Big Business always hinge on corporations being sooooo scummy that they’ll do anything to get ahead. In fact, they’re so **very** scummy that they’ll engage in practices that, if discovered (and how is it that your roommate knows this and the FDA apparently does not?), would end in sanity hearings for TPTB at PepsiCo or whatever megacorp is being indicted, plus the fines, class-action suits, and probably salting the earth where the factory used to be. Much more sensible than just overscheduling and underpaying their workers. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/107 "2012-04-08T00:26:54Z")
> [@MEBuckner](#): > > So–the part of the statement “Pepsi products are made with aborted fetuses” you’re objecting to is whether or not Dr Pepper is actually a Pepsi product? 😃 Yep. I wouldn’t be at all surprised what rotten carcasses may be in a vile drink like pepsi but Dr. Pepper is delicious and I won’t hear it slandered. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/108 "2012-04-08T00:34:33Z")
The issue apparently is that Pepsi partners with another company Semonyx to test its sweeteners and Semonyx uses an embryonic kidney cell line originating from a human baby to gauge how taste receptors respond to the sweetener. So, no dead baby in pepsi and the ‘legitimate’ christian sites reporting on this, to their credit, do not appear to be making that claim. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/109 "2012-04-08T01:19:49Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > One of my roommates got onto me for drinking a Dr. Pepper today because, according to him, “Pepsi products are made with aborted fetuses.” > > What the _ **fuck** _?!?!? **Spaz** , tell your roomate to keep his arms up. It makes it harder to throw the net over him. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/110 "2012-04-08T01:31:32Z")
I remembered seeing an email forward or a fb posting that mentioned this. Cecil doesn’t appear to have done anything on it yet, but [here’s](http://www.snopes.com/politics/medical/pepsi.asp) a snopes article that sheds a little light on what these whackjobs are on about. ---
**Author:** ![Cheez\_Whia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d26b3c/32.png) [@Cheez\_Whia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheez_Whia)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/111 "2012-04-08T02:28:16Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Very lame rant, but I don’t know if I’m engaged. Bill thinks we are because we both know that we will be married someday. When he asked me if I’d given any thought to the date (because the place he wants the reception is always booked out at least 6 months), I told him that we needed to get engaged before I started planning the wedding. Confusion happened for a few minutes, but we got over it. > > The only time Bill’s accent shows is when he’s stressed or excited. I told him that he needed to go down on one knee and slip a ring over my finger to be engaged. He told me to make dinner reservations for next weekend and his cute Texan drawl came out when he asked if he needed to pack his tux. > > So…am I engaged now that we have a date to get engaged. I’m so confused. 😉 I think you’re pre-engaged. Congratulations! ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/112 "2012-04-08T02:51:43Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > The issue apparently is that Pepsi partners with another company Semonyx to test its sweeteners and Semonyx uses an embryonic kidney cell line originating from a human baby to gauge how taste receptors respond to the sweetener. So, no dead baby in pepsi and the ‘legitimate’ christian sites reporting on this, to their credit, do not appear to be making that claim. Ah, I see. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/113 "2012-04-08T02:59:51Z")
I don’t mean to sound like an apologist or to make you think the Spazcat’s crazy person is in any way justified, just that it’s probably where he got the idea. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/114 "2012-04-08T03:19:17Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > I don’t mean to sound like an apologist or to make you think the Spazcat’s crazy person is in any way justified, just that it’s probably where he got the idea. Trust me, this is just the tip of the crazy iceberg with that guy. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/115 "2012-04-08T04:37:21Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > One of my roommates got onto me for drinking a Dr. Pepper today because, according to him, “Pepsi products are made with aborted fetuses.” Queue the Futurama joke (re: Soylent Cola); “How does it taste?” “It varies from person to person.” Honestly, if someone in my acquaintance said that to me, my response would be something along the lines of “Thanks for telling me that. Now I know that you’re so seriously FUCKED IN THE HEAD that any advice, opinion or information you share with me is completely suspect and likely flat out wrong.” ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/116 "2012-04-08T04:47:59Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Very lame rant, but I don’t know if I’m engaged. Bill thinks we are because we both know that we will be married someday. When he asked me if I’d given any thought to the date (because the place he wants the reception is always booked out at least 6 months), I told him that we needed to get engaged before I started planning the wedding. Confusion happened for a few minutes, but we got over it. > > The only time Bill’s accent shows is when he’s stressed or excited. I told him that he needed to go down on one knee and slip a ring over my finger to be engaged. He told me to make dinner reservations for next weekend and his cute Texan drawl came out when he asked if he needed to pack his tux. > > So…am I engaged now that we have a date to get engaged. I’m so confused. Congrats! There will be pictures of Bill down on one knee, right? ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/117 "2012-04-08T04:57:12Z")
Congrats, **flatlined**. Now the only question is, if Bill has to wear a tux, what are you going to wear to honor the occasion? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ENugent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/4af34b/32.png) [@ENugent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ENugent)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/118 "2012-04-08T04:57:54Z")
Ow. I just fell down three stairs. My foot slipped over the first one, so I took most of my weight straight onto the tip of the toe. Then I fell forward and landed on my knees. My toe hurts like the blazes. I’m alone with the kids tonight, so I can’t take it to urgent care unless I call a friend to come over and stay in the house. I haven’t decided whether to do that yet. It hurts. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/119 "2012-04-08T05:15:52Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > Trust me, this is just the tip of the crazy iceberg with that guy. Stands up chanting MORE, MORE, MORE!!! I don’t like carbinated drinks, but if I had a roommate like that, I’d buy a case of Dr Pepper just to hear more crazy. > [@Cheez\_Whia](#): > > 😉 I think you’re pre-engaged. Congratulations! > [@curlcoat](#): > > Congrats! There will be pictures of Bill down on one knee, right? Thanks for the congrats 🙂 And dang. More pressure. Now I have to find a photographer for pics. We are doing this backwards…I want to go to Vegas and do a drive-through with an Elvis impersonator. Bill’s wife wanted a story book wedding, but they didn’t have the money, so he wants the big foofy wedding now. I’ve picked the date. 7/4/13. Lots of time to plan, and we will always have the day off to celebrate with fireworks. **Curlcat** , do you have any advice as how I can trap a dog? I’m not good with dogs and the poor thing is too scared of me to get close. I tried driving next to him and opening the car door to give him a car ride, but he just ran away. He also won’t get close when I’m offering food, but he comes to eat when I go back inside. I’m pretty sure he was dumped because his coat was glossy and he looked well fed when I first saw him. Now he’s getting skinny and his fur is ragged. I want to get him off the street. There are coyotes, javalina and skunks here, and if he runs a mile down the road, he will be on the highway and likely end up as roadkill. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2012, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555/120 "2012-04-08T05:29:03Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > Congrats, **flatlined**. > > Now the only question is, if Bill has to wear a tux, what are you going to wear to honor the occasion? 😉 My little black dress and no panties 😉 (I’m not going to make him wear his tux. That would mean that I have to wear my corset and ballroom gown.) > [@ENugent](#): > > Ow. I just fell down three stairs. My foot slipped over the first one, so I took most of my weight straight onto the tip of the toe. Then I fell forward and landed on my knees. My toe hurts like the blazes. I’m alone with the kids tonight, so I can’t take it to urgent care unless I call a friend to come over and stay in the house. I haven’t decided whether to do that yet. > > It hurts. OWIE!! My advice is that you get it looked at. I busted up my foot a while back and thought that it would get better because “there really isn’t anything that can be done for a broken toe”. I ended up having surgery and spent 2 months sitting on my butt with my foot elevated. Trust me on this, you really, REALLY don’t want to go through that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-ranters-bring-may-decanters-april-mini-rants-thread/617555.md?page=7)