# April showers bring May glowers (rant thread) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 1, 2013, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175 "2013-05-01T05:22:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/121 "2013-05-07T15:41:50Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > **Missy2U** - has your husband been screened by a competent medical professional for clinical depression? If not, can you drag him in to one to be seen? (I know, I know - waaaaay easier said by an anonymous internet stranger than done. I get it, really, I do. Still, figured I’d put it out there. > Good luck to ya both. I’ve thought about it, but hiding the body after I’ve killed him would be FAR easier. And cheaper, too! 😃 This was just an exceptionally bad day - it’ll get better. Thanks, and thank you too, Cinnamon Imp! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MickNickMaggies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/59ef9b/32.png) [@MickNickMaggies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MickNickMaggies)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/122 "2013-05-07T16:38:34Z")
I have to retract my gripe- the Assurance Maladie now has me covered, which means my scans and other pregnancy shit are going to be covered/reimbursed now. The lovely woman even told me that she could understand me just fine- not everyone can (or is willing to pretend they can). ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/123 "2013-05-07T17:37:23Z")
> [@purplehorseshoe](#): > > ETA: **DungBeetle,** I saw something on the floor of the ladies’ room here at work yesterday that looked mighty suspiciously like a small bit of feces. Tradeja. I have a Polaroid camera here with 10 shots left. I’m going to start taking pictures of this lady’s “work” and posting it [del]on the hallway bulletin board[/del] on the bathroom wall, perhaps with the date and time. Captioning the pictures may come later. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/124 "2013-05-07T18:31:24Z")
OK, I’m feeling micro-ranty. I have some ear protection headphones with a built-in radio. Sort of a nice feature (except that the receiver only picks up one station well.) But the fucknuggets that designed them thought it would be a swell idea to blast a 120 decibel tone at intervals when the battery gets low. Because when you’re working with power tools, what you really, really want is to be startled out of your shoes at random intervals. And just what part of “hearing protection” did you not understand when you made that tone insanely loud? It’s not even like it’s a safety feature. You know what happens when the batteries die on the hearing protection? They work even better, because you’re not playing loud music anymore. Seriously, the person that implemented this “feature” needs repeated kicks to the crotch. It’s gardening season and that means it’s time to get out the hoses. Hoses, and everything about hoses, can just go fuck off. I hate the tangles, the random kinks (of the hoses, you pervs), the fact that every single connection leaks continuously no matter how often I replace the washers or how tight I turn the connector. I hate that there are several different brands of quick connectors and there’s no way to tell if they’re compatible with the ones I have. I hate the fact that even damned expensive sprinklers are made out of cheap plastic and will break after a single season or mysteriously stop oscillating. ---
**Author:** ![appleciders](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85f322/32.png) [@appleciders](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/appleciders)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/125 "2013-05-07T23:39:55Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Fight the good fight, appleciders. Overmiking is the bane of my theater experience. > [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Wish I knew the answer for you, **appleciders**. You might want to give her a tiny amount of credit for getting out of the house and going to a live theatre performance in the first place. > > That said, it does seem a little clueless on her part. Maybe you could “explain” (lie) to her that you already have the “mics” cranked as high as they’ll go, _then_ suggest that she head back to the box office for a headset. Him. Not that it matters. I’m ranting here, of course, because I was too shocked to half-rudely suggest that he needed a hearing aid at the time. I need to work on the snappy responses. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/126 "2013-05-08T00:26:01Z")
Young pedestrian killed by a concrete truck today - he was jaywalking with his headphones on and his head down - the truck was not speeding, the driver was not impaired. God, that is so stupid - I walk all the time, and I have near misses way too often while I _am_ paying close attention and crossing properly. This kid was on borrowed time, crossing streets like that. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/127 "2013-05-08T02:09:55Z")
Aah! This big-ass disgusting spider just ran under my stove. I swear I could hear its’ feet on the tile floor. I’m not sure I can sleep knowing that thing is in the house. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/128 "2013-05-08T02:40:46Z")
Can we quit misusing the word “deserve” please? Thanks! (That was aimed at the TV, mostly ads) ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/129 "2013-05-08T05:08:37Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Young pedestrian killed by a concrete truck today - he was jaywalking with his headphones on and his head down - the truck was not speeding, the driver was not impaired. God, that is so stupid - I walk all the time, and I have near misses way too often while I _am_ paying close attention and crossing properly. This kid was on borrowed time, crossing streets like that. Back when I was living in a small town, those idiots used to be very entertaining to watch. I’ve seen them walk into street lamps, fall over fences and trip in potholes and fall in front of cars. Small town, slow speeds and not a lot of traffic. Now that I’m in a big city, I see them doing the same thing. I want to drive with my eyes closed because I don’t want to see anyone get smooshed. > [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Aah! This big-ass disgusting spider just ran under my stove. I swear I could hear its’ feet on the tile floor. I’m not sure I can sleep knowing that thing is in the house. You need a cat. Said kitteh might not be able to reach the spider under the stove, but could probably keep it pinned up all night. My rant: The ongoing saga of a tree hugger in love with an evil oil guy… When I turned my desktop on tonight, everything powered up just fine, but my keyboard didn’t work. OK, fine, some kitteh probably unplugged it, so I grumbled and started crawling under my desk to plug it back in. My keyboard offends Bill. It makes noises when I type and its not back lit and its not high tech. Its just an old keyboard that does what I want. You know, make letters show up when I push the keys? That’s really all I want it to do. Bill didn’t even pat my rump while I was crawling around because he was already looking for a new high-tech keyboard for me. Plugging the keyboard back in didn’t work, so restarted my desktop. While I was waiting for it to power, Bill was pointing at his screen, showing me cordless backlit keyboards and extoling their virtues. When my desktop powered up, my old keyboard worked and I was happy. We had a little spat about me not wanting to toss a perfectly good keyboard in the landfill because there is something cooler out there. I love him with all my heart and soul. We have such different mindsets about this sort of thing. I’m winning, though. This time last year, he would have just ordered a new keyboard. Tonight, he asked if using my very uncool keyboard was like me making him use my shopping bags and I told him that it was. That’s when I got the butt pat. ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/130 "2013-05-08T10:06:28Z")
Dear lecturer: The reason I am in your painting class is to learn to paint. I’m not here because I need a therapist. I didn’t half-ass your exercise because I found it confronting, I did it because the alternatives were either offensively egotistical or grossly misleading. And if you decide to give us a “stress-free” exercise for the first day, don’t make it something that ends with one of my classmates in tears. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/131 "2013-05-08T12:43:13Z")
> [@dr. Girlfriend](#): > > aah! This big-ass disgusting spider just ran under my stove. I swear i could hear its’ feet on the tile floor. I’m not sure i can sleep knowing that thing is in the house. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa ---
**Author:** ![Boggette](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/858c86/32.png) [@Boggette](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boggette)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/132 "2013-05-08T13:31:14Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Can we quit misusing the word “deserve” please? > … This! You do not “deserve” a car. Or a bank loan. Or a 60 inch tv. You “want” them. This has annoyed me for years, but seems more prevalent now. What have you done to “deserve” them? ---
**Author:** ![StarvingButStrong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/starvingbutstrong/32/335_2.png) [@StarvingButStrong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StarvingButStrong)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/133 "2013-05-08T14:55:27Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Can we quit misusing the word “deserve” please? > > Thanks! > (That was aimed at the TV, mostly ads) The one where some smart phone says it “deserves” unlimited data, right? I hates that one heartily. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/134 "2013-05-08T15:51:21Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Aah! This big-ass disgusting spider just ran under my stove. I swear I could hear its’ feet on the tile floor. I’m not sure I can sleep knowing that thing is in the house. tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, TAP, tap, tap, TAP, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap TAP, tap, tap… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/135 "2013-05-08T15:56:07Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > My keyboard offends Bill. It makes noises when I type and its not back lit and its not high tech. Its just an old keyboard that does what I want. You know, make letters show up when I push the keys? That’s really all I want it to do. Tell him you like the tactile response of your keyboard. This is best said while demonstrating on his chest or wherever you like. He will be agreeing with you in seconds. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/136 "2013-05-08T16:32:25Z")
My husband and I have nasty sore throats. My much more vaccinated children have not even a hint of a sniffle. ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/137 "2013-05-08T17:38:04Z")
I am so tired of everything. In order to remove the hold from my name on the damn transplant list, I have to jump through a bunch of damn hoops regarding other issues I didn’t know I had. I was scheduled to see a surgeon this Friday about a cyst on my spine. Now, what the everloving fuck a spinal cyst has to do with a kidney teansplant is beyond me, but I’ll high kick my way through it all just to get a damn functioning organ. Oh, wait. They want another fucking MRI done, so lets cancel this appointment and do that. My insurance only covers PART of having an MRI done. The last one was $190 out of pocket. The ENTIRE fucking kidney transplant has a $100 copay. Yes, a however many tens (if not hundreds) of thousands of dollars surgery will be $100, but the fucking tests that they decided I must have for something not even fucking related to my fucked up body part are more expensive. Plus, everything is now delayed. I can’t deal with this crap anymore. I know, it’s my health and it’s priceless, blah blah blah. I’m emotionally and financially drained by life as a whole right now. I’m sick of my mother freaking out if I say I’m tired (OH! Do you need to go to the hospital? Seriously?) or heaven forbid I try to do anything - she thinks I’m a goddamned invalid. I’m tired of my daughter thinking she’s my mother / dietician, yet not really helping overall. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/138 "2013-05-08T17:45:05Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Aah! This big-ass disgusting spider just ran under my stove. I swear I could hear its’ feet on the tile floor. I’m not sure I can sleep knowing that thing is in the house. I saw a big-ass house centipede run under my desk the other day. I considered hunting it down and killing it until I looked up what they eat. Ants. They eat ants. Ants are impossible to get rid of. House centipede stays. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/139 "2013-05-08T20:00:22Z")
> [@flatlined](#): > > Back when I was living in a small town, those idiots used to be very entertaining to watch. I’ve seen them walk into street lamps, fall over fences and trip in potholes and fall in front of cars. Small town, slow speeds and not a lot of traffic. > > Now that I’m in a big city, I see them doing the same thing. I want to drive with my eyes closed because I don’t want to see anyone get smooshed.\ The driver of the concrete truck apparently was in shock - no one gets up in the morning and thinks, “Today is the day I’ll kill a teenager just by doing my job.” > [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > Aah! This big-ass disgusting spider just ran under my stove. I swear I could hear its’ feet on the tile floor. I’m not sure I can sleep knowing that thing is in the house. I found a spider dangling from his web in my bathroom the other day - I found it the good way, by seeing it, not by having it land on my head and running down my arm. I still have to check the bathroom floor to ceiling before I walk in now, though. > [@MissTake](#): > > I am so tired of everything. \ This is for you (and everyone else who is tired of everything) - [hang in there, mofo!](http://img3.etsystatic.com/000/0/5385485/il_fullxfull.76515503.jpg) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MissTake](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misstake/32/3189_2.png) [@MissTake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissTake)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2013, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175/140 "2013-05-08T20:31:00Z")
Got a call from the spinal doctor’s office. They still want the MRI with contrast; however, I am too ill to do a contrast MRI. They’re meeting Friday morning and will decide what the next step is, HOPEFULLY before I’m on the damn road hauling my ass to the other side of the cities. Thank you **CW** - I giggled. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-bring-may-glowers-rant-thread/657175.md?page=8)