# April showers may bring glowers (Mini rants) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 1, 2016, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817 "2016-04-01T08:42:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2016, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/141 "2016-04-24T18:39:06Z")
“I did a 360 degree turn on the subject.” No, you idiot, that would give you a full circle and put you back where you started. You did a 180 degree turn, dumbass ---
**Author:** ![Morgyn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morgyn/32/3041_2.png) [@Morgyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgyn)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2016, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/142 "2016-04-24T18:51:31Z")
> [@Merneith](#): > > No. The only grandstanding here is being done by those Family Values morons. The reason we’re in this mess is because we’ve tried to be polite about them and their stupid beliefs and they’ve come to expect that they should be catered to. **We should have kicked their crotches in, years ago.** (Bolding mine) And then they wouldn’t have to use the bathroom ever again, leaving the rest of us in peace! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Vorlon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@The\_Vorlon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Vorlon)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/143 "2016-04-25T00:01:36Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Two words: Nostril zit. Three words: Internal Nostril Zit. And let’s not forget the INZ’s kissing cousin–The Internal Ear Cannel Zit. (With the oh-so-satisfying goosh when popped) ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/144 "2016-04-25T00:06:34Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Just got reamed by a co-worker for being “unprofessional”. For eating at my desk “during office hours”. Umm, you’re a CO-worker, not my supervisor. And I probably had to take a late lunch that day. But she was so angry, I just blanked out and said “Ummm, thanks. Noted.” And backed away. > Come to think of it, I did notice her glaring at me from afar… over a week ago. > > I mentioned it to my supervisor and she said “Do you want me to do something about it?” and I said “Naah, that’d probably make it worse - just wanted to know in case she starts complaining.” “Oh, she will. To everyone, not just me…” Next time you have lunch at your desk, notify her that you’re about to chow down. Tell her you don’t want it to come as a surprise to her (and that the rage-glares make your sandwich taste – better, somehow, you know?). ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/145 "2016-04-25T00:11:05Z")
Damn my stupid ugly misshappen feet and messed up toes. I’m trying to get in shape still, but with my shitty knees and pathetic back, that means walking, a lot of god damn walking. But the blisters, argh. Get up put on around 8 band-aids to protect various blistered spots on toes and heels. Walk 4 miles, take off around 8 band-aids to take a shower, shower, then put on around 8 band-aids to get yard and housework done for the rest of the day.:rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/146 "2016-04-25T00:29:07Z")
I’ll pit my right hallux. Well, the nail on it. Some 45 years ago, our family doctor surgically removed the nails from both of them in an effort to correct a persistent tendency to ingrow. The left one came back more or less normal, but on the right, the nail is thick, misshapen, and discolored; and every couple of years just peels away from the bed over the span of a couple of weeks. Well, it’s time for a new harvest, and this damn thing is hanging on by the left edge, as though it’s hinged. I could rip it out by the roots, but that’s always messy and painful. Puting my socks on before my hip replacement used to just be a good aerobic workout; now it’s a suspense-filled adventure! ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/147 "2016-04-25T11:40:20Z")
Happens like clockwork whenever a celebrity dies. Within hours, one of your Facebook friends will share a post like “Wouldn’t it be nice if the news media spent as much time reporting deaths of soldiers and veterans as it does with celebrities?” Actually, no it wouldn’t. There are hundreds of thousands of veterans. They die every day. If they each got 15 minutes of the national news when they died, we’d all sell our televisions. The military gets its ass kissed plenty in these patriotically correct times- Armed Forces Day, Memorial Day, Flag Day, Independence Day, Veterans Day- enough already. We need garbage men, plumbers, teachers, civil servants, janitors, factory workers, and so on. They difference is none of them fucking whine every time a celebrity gets attention. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 11:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/148 "2016-04-25T11:50:55Z")
> [@Morgyn](#): > > (Bolding mine) > > And then they wouldn’t have to use the bathroom ever again, leaving the rest of us in peace! And there would be less of them around, too! **kdad99** just taught me a new word. My big toes are feeling all Latinate now. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/149 "2016-04-25T13:49:15Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > Happens like clockwork whenever a celebrity dies. Within hours, one of your Facebook friends will share a post like “Wouldn’t it be nice if the news media spent as much time reporting deaths of soldiers and veterans as it does with celebrities?” Actually, no it wouldn’t. There are hundreds of thousands of veterans. They die every day. If they each got 15 minutes of the national news when they died, **we’d all sell our televisions.** The military gets its ass kissed plenty in these patriotically correct times- Armed Forces Day, Memorial Day, Flag Day, Independence Day, Veterans Day- enough already. We need garbage men, plumbers, teachers, civil servants, janitors, factory workers, and so on. They difference is none of them fucking whine every time a celebrity gets attention. Why would we all sell our televisions? And to whom? More likely we’d all stop watching “news” on television, and bring journalism back to life. ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/150 "2016-04-25T15:36:56Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Why would we all sell our televisions? > > And to whom? > > More likely we’d all stop watching “news” on television, and bring journalism back to life. I was being a bit hyperbolic but Jesus, do people really think we should have each and every soldier/veteran death get as much airtime as an A-list celeb? ---
**Author:** ![Roderick\_Femm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/roderick_femm/32/14875_2.png) [@Roderick\_Femm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roderick_Femm)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/151 "2016-04-25T16:27:10Z")
I’d be satisfied with less air time for the celebs, frankly. 95%+ of them I don’t care anything about anyway, no matter what letter list they’re on. \*\*kaylasdad99 \*\*is right, that’s not news, it’s just pandering. But I agree that we don’t need to track the deaths of veterans either, except insofar as they died in battle. ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/152 "2016-04-25T18:11:06Z")
I haven’t ranted in so very long. So here it is: 1. I am developing allergies (I think) for the first time in my life and it fucking sucks. I know a lot of people deal with this most of the year, but holy shit, this is miserable. 2. My uterus hates me. I had an IUD removed and a new one inserted today (you’re welcome for the TMI) and now I just want to crawl on my hands and knees into my bed and curl up in the quiet, cool dark. But I’m on the phone, working. With assholes who have no idea what the hell they’re talking about. All the while, my uterus is screaming, “What the fuck did you just do?!” 3. People are so incredibly stupid. “overly, are you coming to this meeting? are you joining? well, are you? we can’t move forward without you. are you coming?” Well, I don’t know…since I let you know that I have a conflict during the time you booked the meeting and I declined your invitation and provided you with alternative times when I am free, no, I don’t think I will. ---
**Author:** ![Askthepizzaguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askthepizzaguy/32/9405_2.png) [@Askthepizzaguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askthepizzaguy)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/153 "2016-04-25T18:46:28Z")
To all the people, male and female, in this world, who seem to want to tell women where they can breastfeed, [that they should not breastfeed in public](https://www.facebook.com/pages/Dont-Breastfeed-In-Public-It-Makes-The-Rest-Of-Us-Uncomfortable/480790800555), [that they should in fact be breastfeeding when they are not](https://www.yahoo.com/style/people-cant-stop-sharing-this-mums-response-to-a-102641775.html), and anyone who isn’t the doctor of the mother or child in question who has an opinion on where and how the mother feeds the child: Shut your fucking mouths, you ignorant sacks of shit. I really don’t give a flying fuck what your opinion is. News flash: You don’t matter. At all. Ever. Every one of you with a fuckhead opinion is here because someone raised you, and that person was capable of doing so without retarded opinions like yours interfering with that process. And here’s a twofer. Fuck you, Forbes. Everywhere I go on the internet, I see links to articles you’ve written about how much the minimum wage increase will hurt workers. There are several articles a day, every single day. Shut your fucking mouths. It will not result in the end of the economy as we know it, and do you know how I know this for a fucking fact? Other countries have a much higher standard of living and lower poverty levels because of their higher wages. How a Burger King in Norway affords to pay its workers effectively double what they do in the states, without the population being mostly unemployed, is a mystery beyond your comprehension or rhetoric. You’re fucking wrong, and you know you’re wrong, because you’re a bunch of greedy, overpaid, avaricious sacks of shit, and you’d like to convince the poorest people in our society that they’re only hurting themselves when they collectively bargain or take political action against massive corporations who enjoy higher productivity and profits while sharing none of it with the employees who allow them to reap the benefits. Your scare tactics may work on the misinformed, but I’m well aware that increasing wages by a third will not double the price of the product nor will it crash the economy. I know this because labor is not 100 percent of the price of the product, it comes to roughly 20 percent of the product. One fifth times one third is approximately seven percent, you fucking jackasses.Labor cost could rise by a third and you’d only have to increase prices by 7 percent. Guess who enjoys the single largest benefit to those price differences? The people who suddenly earn 150% of what they used to earn, and now pay 107% of what their expenses were. In the meantime, the business absorbs ZERO percent of the cost, because it is passed directly on to the consumer, who doesn’t notice the seven percent price increase, because they are suddenly no longer earning only 8 dollars an hour, fuckwads. Not only that, but more people will have fucking money to spend, increasing demand. Some businesses who can’t hack it might cut labor. Others will spend more hiring more people to meet demand. So shut your fucking mouths. Every fucking day, I’m tired of hearing you try to convince people that the best thing they can look forward to in life is stagnant wages and steadily getting even poorer due to inflation, because not having stagnant wages would be so terrible for workers. Eat a bleeding AIDS infected dick, Forbes magazine, and everyone who is against raising the minimum wage, kiss my hairy asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/154 "2016-04-25T23:28:18Z")
As I say on the minimum wage thing: “Ok, why are you in favor of corporate welfare with our taxes paying for it? If you are sincere in wanting to see welfare, food stamps and the like reduced, the only way to do that is by making employers pay a decent wage so that you and I don’t have to subsidize their workers.” Big FUCK YOU to the woman two people in front of me at the grocery store. You selfish, inconsiderate shit stain. Don’t stand there arguing every goddamned item as the clerk rings it up, completely ignoring your growing stack of groceries waiting to be bagged, argue and complain over the final price, then stand there looking over your receipt **still not bagging your fucking groceries** while those of us behind you are being held up by it. And don’t whine to me about me being ‘angry’ and ‘mean’ when I thank you for being so fucking inconsiderate to everyone around you. You deserved more than you got. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/155 "2016-04-25T23:32:56Z")
Lucky me, Windows 10 decided to install a driver update for my video card last night that resulted in a system crash. Today I was presented with a CRITICAL\_STRUCTURE\_CORRUPTION blue screen shortly after startup. I did some research while the computer was restarting, and I guess I can expect the computer to do this every couple of hours??? Lovely. And apparently there are multiple causes for this error (I’m guessing mine is related to the new driver). :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2016, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/156 "2016-04-25T23:53:10Z")
> [@](#): > > Fuck you, Forbes. Everywhere I go on the internet, I see links to articles you’ve written about how much the minimum wage increase will hurt workers Since I installed adblock, Forbes won’t even let me see their site, so they can die in a fire, I won’t visit their site. Washington Post wants me to subscribe to them to see their articles, too, and no, I don’t think I will. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hey\_Hey\_Paula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_Hey_Paula)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/157 "2016-04-26T02:06:46Z")
Cat related rant ahead. There’s been more then the usual amount of barfing going on lately. I finally figured out that the new kibble I had switched to, although apparently delicious, and a good-quality brand, was upsetting someone’s tummy - not sure whose tummy, we have three cats. So back to the limited-ingredient kibble it was, and I stopped finding liquid-y barf on the floor every day. Yay. In addition to kibble, they get canned food once a day. I’ve tried various brands, and they didn’t like the limited-ingredient pate at all. What they liked was Fancy Feast. So eventually I gave in, and Fancy Feast pate-style it was. But a few nights ago, I realized our grey tuxie was vomiting within about 15 minutes of eating “dinner” for a few days in a row (they get their canned food once a day in the early evening). Yesterday I was out of FF but had one can of an alternate brand left, so they got that - no vomiting. Today I bought more FF and the tuxie barfed within five minutes of dinner. He’s fine the rest of the day, so it has to be the food. So the remainder of the FF will be donated, and it’s off to the pet store I go, in the quest to find a brand they will like that doesn’t induce any bad tummy side effects. Damn cats. They’re lucky we love them, the little spoiled bastards. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/158 "2016-04-26T06:12:13Z")
> [@kaylasdad99](#): > > Why would we all sell our televisions? > > And to whom? > > More likely we’d all stop watching “news” on television, and bring journalism back to life. > [@BobLibDem](#): > > I was being a bit hyperbolic but Jesus, do people really think we should have each and every soldier/veteran death get as much airtime as an A-list celeb? Only for as long as it takes for TV “news” to stop being a profitable enterprise. ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/46a35a/32.png) [@Tim\_T-Bonham.net](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_T-Bonham.net)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/159 "2016-04-26T06:56:14Z")
> [@StarvingButStrong](#): > > I pit banks – and other companies – that insist you provide them with your cell number. Every damn time I sign in to my bank’s website it throws up a huge popup telling me that my registration is incomplete and thus my account is at risk. Why? Because I haven’t provided my cell phone number, and thus they might not be able to reach me… > > Guess what? I’m NOT going to give it to you. > > As for reaching me, feel free to use the landline I’ve given you, or any of the THREE email addresses I’ve provide or even my work phone. And if all of those fail? Mail me a letter or something. Enter your landline number in the cell phone spot – that’ll kill the warnings from their website. Very few of them have coded a check that it isn’t the same number in both spots. But if they have, use 555-1212. Or their own phone number. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2016, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817/160 "2016-04-26T15:17:59Z")
Facebook keeps asking me for my cell number. Fuck no. I don’t need FB update texts. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/april-showers-may-bring-glowers-mini-rants/750817.md?page=9)