# Apu Appreciation Thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 27, 2001, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117 "2001-09-27T15:33:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/21 "2001-09-27T23:05:23Z")
“You magnificent bastard. I salute you!” “That would be a great insult to my family and my god…but OK!” “Tonight I’m going to party like it’s on sale for $19.95!” “I’ll tell them that you were untouchable!” “There are 700 million of us.” ---
**Author:** ![middleman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9a140/32.png) [@middleman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/middleman)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/22 "2001-09-27T23:06:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CyberHippy \* > \*\*“You will all have an opportunity to be gouged!” > \*\* “No. No. Do not listen to that man.” ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/23 "2001-09-27T23:07:42Z")
“You are one Mahat-mama!” to Manjula “Good rice, good curry, good Gandhi, let’s hurry.” “I know the procedure for armed robbery. I do work in a convenience store, you know.” ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/24 "2001-09-27T23:41:36Z")
“At last I have a garment fine enough to be married in.” Rev Lovejoy: “Once, Apu was a lonely bachelor.” Apu (holding all 8 of his kids at once): “Thank god that hell is over.” Reporter To Apu (in the B Sharps): Is it true that you’re a Hindu? Apu: I swear by the many arms of Vishnu it is a lie. ---
**Author:** ![FallenAngel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@FallenAngel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FallenAngel)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/25 "2001-09-27T23:42:47Z")
“All our problems are solved. We have banana bread. Banana Bread! What the hell were you thinking?!” ---
**Author:** ![peepthis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9d8465/32.png) [@peepthis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peepthis)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2001, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/26 "2001-09-27T23:49:31Z")
“No ring I see. Soooo, you are only _arranged_ to be married?” And my fave: **Customer:** “Attendant, I’d like some gas” **Apu:** “Yes I am sorry, I do not speak English, okay” **Customer:** “But I just heard you…” **Apu:** “Yes Yes, hot dog, hot dog, yes sir, no sir, maybe, o-kay!” ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/27 "2001-09-28T00:41:49Z")
“No offense, but, we’re putting that bitch on ice!” ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/28 "2001-09-28T00:45:27Z")
“This is not as hot a party as I had anticipated” ---
**Author:** ![jabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/db5fbb/32.png) [@jabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/29 "2001-09-28T02:14:42Z")
Homer: Hey Apu, give me some of that SkittleBrau, you know, that beer that has skittles in it. Apu: No such thing exists. I’m just paraphrasing. peace, JB ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/30 "2001-09-28T02:49:33Z")
I think it was: “Such a product does not exist. I think you must have dreamed it, sir.” “Okay, then I’ll take a six pack and some skittles.” “Thank you, steal again…” “Slavery it is, sir!” ---
**Author:** ![jabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/db5fbb/32.png) [@jabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jabe)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/31 "2001-09-28T02:52:16Z")
bingo peace, JB ---
**Author:** ![TheOtherOne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dbc845/32.png) [@TheOtherOne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheOtherOne)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/32 "2001-09-28T04:06:50Z")
**jk1245** The “rectum free” line was in the Powersauce episode. Apu said “our new beef jerky is nearly 25 percent rectum free!” Unless he said the same thing about hot dogs and I missed it 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mofo\_Rising](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mofo\_Rising](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mofo_Rising)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/33 "2001-09-28T04:31:42Z")
“Ah, yes. Who needs the infinite compassion of Ganesh when I have Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman staring at me from the cover of Entertainment Weekly with their dead eyes!” “This is just between you and me, little hat.” ---
**Author:** ![red\_dragon60](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@red\_dragon60](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/red_dragon60)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/34 "2001-09-28T05:01:36Z")
And Ganesh, if you help me I will give you the entire bottle of YooHoo. ---
**Author:** ![Rhythmdvl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/85f322/32.png) [@Rhythmdvl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhythmdvl)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/35 "2001-09-28T05:21:29Z")
Who needs the Kwiki Mart? ``` I... Dooooooooooooooooooooo ``` ---
**Author:** ![mmmiiikkkeee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/edb3f5/32.png) [@mmmiiikkkeee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mmmiiikkkeee)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/36 "2001-09-28T06:26:17Z")
“Oh, you have got to be kidding sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done. Then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like. Didn’t you think this through…was on the bestseller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had…most popular movies of all time, sir! What were you thinking?! I mean, thank you, come again.” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/37 "2001-09-28T06:38:32Z")
"I’ve just enrolled in the screenwriting class. I yearn to tell the story of an idealistic young Hindu, pushed too far by convenience store bandits. I call it “Hands Off My Jerky, Turkey”. Hello. I am not interested in buying your house, but I would like to use your rest room, flip through your magazines, rearrange your carefully shelved items and handle your food products in an unsanitary manner. Ha! Now you know how it feels! “Back then I was known as the fifth Beatle.” “Each of these bullet wounds is a badge of honor.” ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/38 "2001-09-28T06:44:09Z")
Oh and… "Citizenship Examiner: All right, here’s your last question. What was the cause of the Civil War? Apu: Actually, there were numerous causes. Aside from the obvious schism between the abolitionists and the anti-abolitionists, there were economic factors, both domestic and inter… Citizenship Examiner: Wait, wait… just say slavery. Apu: Slavery it is, sir." ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/39 "2001-09-28T18:52:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rhythmdvl \* > \*\* > Who needs the Kwiki Mart? > > ``` > I... Dooooooooooooooooooooo ** > > ``` Hey! He lied to us in song! ---
**Author:** ![Mikemike2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mikemike2/32/305_2.png) [@Mikemike2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mikemike2)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2001, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117/40 "2001-09-28T18:54:13Z")
Please do not offer my God a peanut ! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/apu-appreciation-thread/84117.md?page=3)