# Aragorn, Boromir, Faramir, or Eomer? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 28, 2009, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572 "2009-07-28T18:50:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/41 "2009-07-29T15:49:01Z")
> [@DSYoungEsq](#): > > I had you pegged for wanting Denethor. \ > > šŸ˜ƒ :smack: How could I forget? I have some MAJOR father issuesā€¦ šŸ˜‰ **Idlewild** ā€“that made me laugh until tears came. šŸ˜ƒ IMO, Tom Bombadil would get berry, I mean very, annoying very quickly. I do have a thing for Beorn, though. NOT into furries in the slightest (I just became nauseated from the thought), but I like his lilā€™ fiefdom and his relationship with the animals and his mystery. Ok, so maybe I have more than just Daddy issuesā€¦ If I HAD to pick a hobbit, itā€™d be either Merry or Frodo. Pippin is too boisterous and Sam is too thick and plodding (and he has a cookware fetish) who (or what) is Faramirā€™s alter ego? And no hot monkey love for Gollum, eh? Dopers, you surprise me. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/42 "2009-07-29T15:52:01Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > :smack: How could I forget? I have some MAJOR father issuesā€¦ šŸ˜‰ > **Idlewild** ā€“that made me laugh until tears came. šŸ˜ƒ > IMO, Tom Bombadil would get berry, I mean very, annoying very quickly. I do have a thing for Beorn, though. NOT into furries in the slightest (I just became nauseated from the thought), but I like his lilā€™ fiefdom and his relationship with the animals and his mystery. Ok, so maybe I have more than just Daddy issuesā€¦ > > If I HAD to pick a hobbit, itā€™d be either Merry or Frodo. Pippin is too boisterous and Sam is too thick and plodding (and he has a cookware fetish) > > who (or what) is Faramirā€™s alter ego? > And no hot monkey love for Gollum, eh? Dopers, you surprise me. The girl I went to see Two Towers with pointed out that the movie version seemed not to have any sort of genitalia. I can easily see that as a side-effect fo the Ring. ---
**Author:** ![Emily\_Litella](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emily_litella/32/3370_2.png) [@Emily\_Litella](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Emily_Litella)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/43 "2009-07-29T18:05:39Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > Treebeard. Definitely Treebeard. > [@wolfman](#): > > Ehh, most chicks always go for the old dignified leadery guy with property no matter what he looks like, particularly if he has lost his wife. I think Treebeard would get the most action. Hell you could tell him him everything that happened in the week, 24-7 word by word, and he would actually listen. Talk about a woodyā€¦ Me, personally, Iā€™ve had a thing for Faramir since the movies came out. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/44 "2009-07-29T19:44:53Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > The girl I went to see Two Towers with pointed out that the movie version seemed not to have any sort of genitalia. I can easily see that as a side-effect fo the Ring. Heā€™s got a loincloth on! It hides something that isā€¦ precious to him. If neutering is a side effect of the Ring, that explains a great deal about Frodo and Bilbo. Iā€™d still like to shag an elfā€“just to say I had. Another dream gone unrealized. Another hope shattered. O woe unto me! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/45 "2009-07-29T19:46:35Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Iā€™d still like to shag an elfā€“just to say I had. Another dream gone unrealized. Another hope shattered. O woe unto me! How about Boromir (or someone else) _and_ Legolas? šŸ˜› Hey, OP, are we allowed to pick multiple options? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/46 "2009-07-29T19:58:15Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > How about Boromir (or someone else) _and_ Legolas? šŸ˜› Hey, OP, are we allowed to pick multiple options? Gods of Earth & Air, **Mika** , have you forgotten my name? I left the question open-ended on purpose. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/47 "2009-07-29T20:01:42Z")
> [@DSYoungEsq](#): > > Personally, my choice is Goodgulf Greyteeth. He, at least, has the sense to bug out when the bugging out is good. Goodgulf (as Minas Troney is besieged): ā€œBring me my white robes!ā€ Moxie or Pepsi (does it matter which?): ā€œWhite robes for white magic?ā€ Goodgulf: ā€œNo, white robes for white flag!ā€ ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2009, 11:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/48 "2009-07-29T23:50:10Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > How about Boromir (or someone else) _and_ Legolas? šŸ˜› Hey, OP, are we allowed to pick multiple options? Well, in THAT case, get in lineā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/49 "2009-07-30T02:31:15Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Gods of Earth & Air, **Mika** , have you forgotten my name? > > I left the question open-ended on purpose. šŸ˜ƒ ā€œOPā€ is shorter than ā€œ **Skald** ā€ and I was feeling very very lazy. **Rigs** , we may not have to stand in line if we have different choices! Iā€™ll gladly take Boromir and Haldir, for example. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/50 "2009-07-30T03:42:14Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > ā€œOPā€ is shorter than ā€œ **Skald** ā€ and I was feeling very very lazy. > > **Rigs** , we may not have to stand in line if we have different choices! Iā€™ll gladly take Boromir and Haldir, for example. And Iā€™m partial to Aragorn and Faramir! Letā€™s all meet for drinks, firstā€¦ (and we can share Legolas later). šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/51 "2009-07-30T12:56:35Z")
Legolas is such a slut. ETA: Oh, man - I hate being first post on the second page. ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/52 "2009-07-30T15:11:00Z")
Faramir was JRRTā€™s alter ego, when he wasnā€™t busy being Beren. ā€œAlter egoā€ may be a punched up way of expressing what JRRT said about it, but I think itā€™s fair use. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/53 "2009-07-30T16:51:46Z")
What in hell IS that guyā€™s nameā€“the one with the animals and he only eats honey and he changes into a bear etcā€“is it Beorn or Beren? I am not going to go looking for my books, thankyouverymuch. He features more in The Hobbit (does he even come into LOTR? I canā€™t remember). Anyway, Legolas probably WAS a slutā€“those elves knew how to party (one thing that jarred me in the filmā€“that stupid drinking contest between Gimli and Legolas). ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/54 "2009-07-30T17:03:18Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > What in hell IS that guyā€™s nameā€“the one with the animals and he only eats honey and he changes into a bear etcā€“is it Beorn or Beren? I am not going to go looking for my books, thankyouverymuch. He features more in The Hobbit (does he even come into LOTR? I canā€™t remember). Beorn. IIRC, thereā€™s some mention of his clan / descendents / whatever in LotR (fighting the good fight against Sauronā€™s northern forces, I believe), but no direct appearances. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/55 "2009-07-30T17:06:22Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Anyway, Legolas probably WAS a slutā€“those elves knew how to party (one thing that jarred me in the filmā€“that stupid drinking contest between Gimli and Legolas). Elf parties would involve drinking and eating and singing ā€“ oh, God, the singing ā€“ but not casual sex. There is no such thing as casual elf sex. Once elves have sex, theyā€™re married for life. Oh, sure, theyā€™ll usually have a nice ceremony to please the parents, but thatā€™s just a wedding. The act of physical union is the marriage. And they donā€™t divorce or sleep around after marriage, either. The good news is that they do enjoy having sex with each other. Their interest fades in time, but with elves that can be a long time. So no one-night stands or brief flings with Legolas. You break him, you bought him. ETA: Yes, Tolkien did actually write this stuff down somewhere. Ah, hereā€™s a [summary](http://www.ansereg.com/what_tolkien_officially_said_abo.htm) with citations. ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/56 "2009-07-30T20:31:55Z")
Beorn is the bear shapeshifter in the Hobbit. Beren one-hand is Luthien Tinuvielā€™s mortal squeezeā€“canā€™t tell the players without a Silmarillion scorecard. ---
**Author:** ![eleanorigby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee7513/32.png) [@eleanorigby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eleanorigby)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/57 "2009-07-30T21:24:40Z")
> [@Humble\_Servant](#): > > Beorn is the bear shapeshifter in the Hobbit. Beren one-hand is Luthien Tinuvielā€™s mortal squeezeā€“canā€™t tell the players without a Silmarillion scorecard. Thatā€™s why I didnā€™t know himā€“Iā€™ve never made it past about page 17 of Simarillon. The elves suddenly sound a LOT less fun. How very Victorian of them all. ---
**Author:** ![TWDuke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@TWDuke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TWDuke)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/58 "2009-07-30T22:10:39Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Thatā€™s why I didnā€™t know himā€“Iā€™ve never made it past about page 17 of Simarillon. But Aragorn sings a song of Beren and LĆŗthien in ā€œThe Fellowship of the Ring.ā€ _Surely_ you didnā€™t skip the songs. I mean, nobody does that, right? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/59 "2009-07-30T22:27:01Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Thatā€™s why I didnā€™t know himā€“Iā€™ve never made it past about page 17 of Simarillon. The key to the Silmarillion is to (a) skip the first two sections on first reading, using them only as reference, and (b) to be an enormous geek in the first place. šŸ˜‰ Youā€™re just too well-balanced ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2009, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572/60 "2009-07-30T23:00:35Z")
Itā€™s really important to know about Beren and LĆŗthien TinĆŗviel, because their story sort of foreshadows the whole bit with Aragorn and Arwen, who was incidentally LĆŗthienā€™s descendant in some round-about manner, and thatā€™s integral toā€¦ ā€¦nah, Iā€™m going to agree with the ā€˜enormous geekā€™ conclusion. But I loved parts of the Silmarillion. It just doesnā€™t read as modern prose, it reads as religious text. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/aragorn-boromir-faramir-or-eomer/504572.md?page=4)