# Archie Andrews pops the question **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [May 28, 2009, 11:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918 "2009-05-28T11:45:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![mobo85](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mobo85](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mobo85)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2009, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/41 "2009-05-28T22:49:05Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > So, what, Liz the veterinarian just gets left in the dust? He and Jon are actually a steady item, believe it or not. ---
**Author:** ![Myrrajh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/87869e/32.png) [@Myrrajh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Myrrajh)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/42 "2009-05-29T00:02:10Z")
I’m glad to hear the story will unfold over several issues. Veronica may have the bucks, but she’s a nasty, shallow bitch. Archie and Betty make a better couple, hands down. Reggie and Veronica can hook up and see who can outspend the other on hair products. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/43 "2009-05-29T01:01:03Z")
> [@Chronos](#): > > I still like the interpretation that Archie is intended as a morality play, with each of the major characters representing one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Archie, of course, who has been unable to decide between two (or three) different women for decades, is, of course, Lust. [This link explains it all.](http://boyonfire.tripod.com/id11.html) Archie=Lust Jughead=Gluttony Veronica=Greed Moose=Sloth Reggie=Pride Betty=Envy Principal Weatherbee=Wrath ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/44 "2009-05-29T01:07:20Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > No, at the wedding Veronica wakes up to the fact that she’s settling for Archie Andrews and somehow it just doesn’t feel right. And then she looks over at Betty and Betty is looking back at her and the two of them realize what they’ve been denying all these years… > > Best. Comic. Ever. Has anyone made a porn parody of Riverdale? I think there’s something in that… ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/45 "2009-05-29T01:09:54Z")
You mean Principal Weatherbee=Asshole What a clueless, incompetent douche, much like Principal Belding on “Saved by the Bell.” We all know this is a hoax. Archie “loves” Betty, but is attracted to Veronica because she is exotic (i.e., she has black hair!), but will ultimately fall back to his lame chickenshit, unoffensive, cookie-baking sweetheart. Why are these girls fighting over him in the first place? He’s a bloody ginger! ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2009, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/46 "2009-05-29T01:35:55Z")
> [@DSYoungEsq](#): > > It would help if people read what is going on. 😛 > > This is the first of a six-issue series, starting with issue #600. In the first issue, he pops the question to Veronica, who says “yes!” > > But note please, this will be taking place 5 years AFTER the events of Archie’s prior comic book life. Specifically, he’s graduated from high school, and even, reportedly, has a job. So he’s old enough to marry. And since it’s going to be a six-issue storyline, it’s quite likely that Betty will end up being involved somehow with a plot twist. 😉 Sorry, I know you’ve got your post peppered with smilies, but I must respond to this seriously. There IS NO five years after Archie’s comic book life. That life is a moment in time, like a fly embedded in a piece of amber. I’m goin’ with the last page of the six-series comic being a splash page of Bob Hartley waking up in Chicago, and telling Emily about this unbelieveable dream he just had. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/47 "2009-07-10T07:05:25Z")
> [@The New and Improved Superman](#): > > This nefarious scheme (or a variation on it) was already foiled by a short, goofy Belgian detective with a pronounced curly-Q mustache. Happened on a cruise ship on the Nile river. Really? I would have thought it would be on a swanky train heading for Zürch; Veronica can afford something like that. Between Archie’s gullibility and Veronica’s underhanded efforts it’s a wonder Betty gets time with him at all! ---
**Author:** ![Walloon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/fbc32d/32.png) [@Walloon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walloon)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/48 "2009-07-10T07:14:43Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Our ratings were dropping, and the author had to introduce something truly outrageous to keep them up. Thinking of broadcast media? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 10:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/49 "2009-07-10T10:03:06Z")
> [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > Am I the only one surprised that Archie is still around? Who’s reading it? Well, it is popular among Xian youth groups. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/50 "2009-07-10T11:11:07Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Superman marries Betty and Veronica (because he’s super). …rushes to take out a trademark on the name “Supermormon”… > [@AlsoNamedBort](#): > > Am I the only one surprised that Archie is still around? Who’s reading it? My little brother was reading the book earlier this decade, actually. Not regularly, but when he had time to kill at summer camp maybe five or seven years ago. I never understood why he did that, but based on what I’m reading in this thread, maybe Archie’s not as clean-cut as I thought. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2009, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/51 "2009-07-10T12:02:24Z")
> [@Amp](#): > > I smell a _Dallas_/Bobby Ewing, it was all a dream twist. In a comic book? The devil you say. ---
**Author:** ![dougie\_monty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/439d5e/32.png) [@dougie\_monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougie_monty)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/52 "2009-07-31T05:46:05Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > You mean Principal Weatherbee=Asshole > > What a clueless, incompetent douche, much like Principal Belding on “Saved by the Bell.” > > We all know this is a hoax. Archie “loves” Betty, but is attracted to Veronica because she is exotic (i.e., she has black hair!), but will ultimately fall back to his lame chickenshit, unoffensive, cookie-baking sweetheart. Why are these girls fighting over him in the first place? He’s a bloody ginger! Call names all you like—I’d rather see Archie with Betty (unless a story line is involved). I’m surprised Mr. Lodge lets Veronica see Archie at all, given Archie’s clumsiness and callow attitudes. She deserves Reggie. ---
**Author:** ![DWMarch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dwmarch/32/1010_2.png) [@DWMarch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DWMarch)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/53 "2009-07-31T07:55:31Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Has anyone made a porn parody of Riverdale? I think there’s something in that… Rule 34: if it exists, there is porn of it. > **[Urban Dictionary: rule 34](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=rule+34)** > > rule 34: there is porn of everything somewhere. I bet Veronica is absolutely wild in bed and doesn’t even bother taking her leather miniskirt off before getting freaky. Betty on the other hand, is much more of an in-the-dark under-the-covers type of gal and would be like “Are you sure that goes in there?!?!” Good choice Archie. And Veronica, if it doesn’t work out… give me a call. ---
**Author:** ![Ronald\_C.Semone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/cc9497/32.png) [@Ronald\_C.Semone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ronald_C.Semone)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 12:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/54 "2009-07-31T12:52:09Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Has anyone made a porn parody of Riverdale? I think there’s something in that… Fifty years ago I read an 8-page “Tijuana Bible” that featured all the characters from _Archie_. The final panel with Miss Grunday was unforgettable! ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/55 "2009-07-31T13:04:56Z")
> [@Ronald\_C.Semone](#): > > Fifty years ago I read an 8-page “Tijuana Bible” that featured all the characters from _Archie_. The final panel with Miss Grunday was unforgettable! Whatever it was, you can find better/worse/stranger on the Web. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/56 "2009-07-31T18:32:51Z")
Dan DeCarlo, who created the classic look of the Archie characters, did a lot of pin-up cartoons as well. Often those girls look an awful lot like Betty and Veronica, but without quite as many clothes on. So not only has there always been Riverdale porn, some of it was by the same guy! –Cliffy, who’s always been a Veronica man ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/57 "2009-07-31T21:04:43Z")
> [@Cliffy](#): > > Dan DeCarlo, who created the classic look of the Archie characters, did a lot of pin-up cartoons as well. Often those girls look an awful lot like Betty and Veronica, but without quite as many clothes on. So not only has there always been Riverdale porn, some of it was by the same guy! > > –Cliffy, who’s always been a Veronica man There’s a collection of his pin-up art on Amazon. Yes, I own one.🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2009, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/58 "2009-07-31T23:15:01Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > Has anyone made a porn parody of Riverdale? I think there’s something in that… National Lampoon once did a “where are they now” parody narrated by Jughead, who became a hippie and later a heroin addict. Veronica was a Paris Hilton style jetsetter who had a series of playboy boyfriends. Betty married an alcoholic blue-collar guy and was living in a trailer park with six kids. Reggie was a gay cokehead Hollywood agent. Moose was a medal-bedecked Green Beret. Archie was drafted and sent to Viet Nam, where he received a head wound. He passed away a couple of years ago. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/59 "2009-08-01T00:18:14Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > There’s a collection of his pin-up art on Amazon. > > Yes, I own one.🆒 Actually Fantagraphics has published a few now. I don’t own any, but I’ve flipped through the first one a couple times, and it’s really great – sexy and funny. I don’t know about the floppies these days, but the digests usually still have a DeCarlo story or two, and the draughtsmanship is outstanding. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Kamino\_Neko](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kamino_neko/32/34_2.png) [@Kamino\_Neko](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamino_Neko)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2009, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918/60 "2009-08-01T00:33:33Z")
> [@dougie\_monty](#): > > I’m surprised Mr. Lodge lets Veronica see Archie at all, given Archie’s clumsiness and callow attitudes. She deserves Reggie. I’m not a huge fan of Ronnie, but why would you inflect Mantle on her? As to porn parodies of Archie, you can’t forget Cherry (FKA Cherry Poptart, until Kellogg’s kicked up a stink). Not so much a parody of the characters, but the general feel of the comics, including a pretty good approximation of the Archie house style (ie: DeCarlo’s style). [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/archie-andrews-pops-the-question/497918.md?page=4)