# Are "Chain" Pizzas in the US really that bad? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 29, 2010, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704 "2010-04-29T02:49:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/61 "2010-04-29T15:45:10Z")
Chain pizza is crap, but I’ll eat it, just like I’ll occasionally eat at McDonald’s. I will not eat Pizza Hut, though. I hate that stuff. I haven’t had the new Dominos, but I will always choose Papa John or Dominos over Pizza Hut. > [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > Also, I _hate_ a thin crust on my pizza. Hate it. De gustibus. I always order thin crust. I avoid Chicago-style pizza like Pizzeria Uno or Armand’s. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/62 "2010-04-29T15:53:37Z")
“Authenticity” > [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > I’ve heard Foodies throwing it around a lot to describe food that’s made by hand with fresh ingredients, and not as part of a sort of “assembly-line-cooking” process. I’d say that good, fresh ingredients are essential part of it, but not sufficient. You also need to know how to put them together in a way that’s congruent with the principles of a culinary tradition. (If you’re not working from a traditional template, there’s nothing to _authentically_ represent. You can make real food, great food, that’s not “authentically” anything.) Authentic food _could_ be made in an assembly line–a group of people working sequentially–if everyone involved knows what they’re doing. I really don’t see how anyone can believe that any food that meets this standard could be _worse_ than national-chain fast food. > [@elmwood](#): > > Consider the phrase “utility pizza” in New York; supposedly it’s generic New York-style pizza. Not great, not awful, just decent but not mind-blowing foodie sublime. That’s how I think of most of the big delivery chains; it’s Midwestern-style utility pizza. Yeah, that’s about right. None of these are authentic. The guys in New York might know about authentic pizza, but that’s not what they’re making with their dough conditioners and cheap canned sauce and so forth. ---
**Author:** ![In\_Winnipeg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a8b319/32.png) [@In\_Winnipeg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/In_Winnipeg)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/63 "2010-04-29T16:22:01Z")
> [@KennerTheGreat](#): > > 'Course, I’m in Canada though, so I can’t speak to the American pizza experience. My experience with US Pizza Hut is that it wasn’t nearly as greasy as the Canadian equivalent and they have a lot more toppings on it for a cheaper price. I do know, though, that this isn’t the best pizza, and Pizza Hut in Canada is just crap. My favouite local pizza chain was called Big Time Pizza, but as of January, it’s out of business. I think they expanded too fast. They did a great pizza and didn’t skimp on the toppings. As of late, we’re getting pizza from a place called Presto Pizza [http://www.prestopizza.biz/](http://www.prestopizza.biz/) It’s an okay product, but it’s better when you pick it up compared to having it delivered. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/64 "2010-04-29T16:24:56Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > That’s the thing though. Are they really? It certainly hasn’t been my experience, although I realise most other posters here disagree and a lot of it is about personal preference. Ther are certain regional variations on pizza in the US that are quite different from what the mass chains produce, and if one has been raised on those, the big chains will not be to one’s liking. More generally, I think pizza, like most foods or hobbies, has its serious devotees and its casual audience. Some people can’t tell the difference between supermarket coffee vs. a gourmet coffeeshop blend, while others can tell whether the beans had not been ground until right before brewing. A serious audiophile is going to hear imperfections in a stereo setup that a casual listener won’t. ---
**Author:** ![elmwood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/elmwood/32/3060_2.png) [@elmwood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elmwood)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/65 "2010-04-29T16:40:28Z")
> [@Tom\_Tildrum](#): > > Ther are certain regional variations on pizza in the US that are quite different from what the mass chains produce, and if one has been raised on those, the big chains will not be to one’s liking. Nor will those from outside the area. [Buffalo has its own variety of pizza](http://www.buffalochow.com/2008/01/buffalostyle_pizza_staggering.html), one reason I’ve heard cited for the almost complete lack of chains in the region. Locals love it, often claiming that Buffalo-style is the best in the country. However, Buffalo-style pizzerias outside of the region have mostly failed, outside of areas with a large expat customer base. There’s tens of thousands of college students in the Buffalo area; the majority are from Long Island, and they’re quite vocal about their disgust for Buffalo-style. A number of [locally owned NYC-style pizzerias](http://www.buffalochow.com/2009/04/zettis_a_wide_variety_of_decen.html) have opened as a response, serving what they would probably be considered adequate “utility pizza”. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/66 "2010-04-29T16:48:03Z")
> [@elmwood](#): > > However, Buffalo-style pizzerias outside of the region have mostly failed, outside of areas with a large expat customer base. There’s tens of thousands of college students in the Buffalo area; the majority are from Long Island, and they’re quite vocal about their disgust for Buffalo-style. A number of [locally owned NYC-style pizzerias](http://www.buffalochow.com/2009/04/zettis_a_wide_variety_of_decen.html) have opened as a response, serving what they would probably be considered adequate “utility pizza”. And New Yorkers (ETA: I mean NYC-area-ers, not upstaters so much) in Chicago bitch about our crackery crust and quirky tendency to cut it into squares (also done elsewhere in the Midwest, particularly Milwaukee and St. Louis.) What is it with these New Yorkers? 😉 Still, I appreciate all the local variations done well (and I enjoyed the Buffalo version of pizza when I was up there, although it’s a bit thicker than I generally like it). There’s just so many types of pizza worth appreciating–it’s such a fun, utilitarian food and each region’s take on it is an interesting cultural insight, in my opinion. Still, I can’t quite apply the same attitude towards pizza chains. There are many fast food chains I enjoy. Hell, I actually _like_ McDonald’s from time to time. But I just can’t do chain pizza. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/67 "2010-04-29T16:48:49Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > I see a lot of mentions here on the boards about how people can’t stand the pizzas from places like Dominoes or Pizza Hutt, describing them as “tasteless” or “bland” or just “crap”. > > Now, the thing is, it’s trendy on the SDMB to hate (or pretend to hate) the things that normal people like, but I heard the “Chain Pizzas Are Terrible!” thing so often and from so many people I’m wondering if there’s actually any truth to it? No, they’re certainly not. Though I do prefer my local pizzerias, I will never, _never_ turn down a slice (or a square), ever, no matter where it’s from. As has probably already been said (haven’t read through the thread yet), pizza’s like sex: even when it’s bad, it’s good. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/68 "2010-04-29T16:51:22Z")
> [@Gleena](#): > > Yeah, what **FGIE** said. Dominios IS shit, but it’s cheap. Same with Little Ceasers ( **little sleazers** , we called it. Pizza Pizza!) It’s always been Little Greasers to me. And then there’s Pizza Slut. And Toxic Hell. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/69 "2010-04-29T16:59:09Z")
> [@JXJohns](#): > > and all my kids really want is cheese pizza for some god forsaken reason. Maybe because that’s pizza in its purest form? ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/70 "2010-04-29T17:04:51Z")
> [@iftheresaway](#): > > Ok, so now I’m curious. I love pizza, but frankly most of my experience has been with either chain or homemade stuff. Anyone one know of a good local place in or around St. Louis? I went to a good wood-fired place in Clayton about a decade ago, but I don’t know what it was called or if it is still there. You might try asking [here](http://www.roadfood.com/Forums/Where-Should-I-Eat-f20.aspx). ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/71 "2010-04-29T17:11:13Z")
I have sort of an excluded middle with pizza. I’ll get a $5 pizza from Little Caesar’s because, hey, it’s a $5 pizza. Sure it _tastes_ like a $5 pizza but it’s still pretty good for what you paid and the fact that it takes under a minute to walk in the door, put down $5 and walk out with a hot pizza. But once you get above that, I can’t rationalize spending $15-$25 for Dominos or Pizza Hut or Papa John’s when I could be spending it at one of the local chains. I’m not to proud to eat it if it’s on the table but I can’t justify spending money at those places when there’s better alternatives. ---
**Author:** ![Garula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ea666f/32.png) [@Garula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Garula)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/72 "2010-04-29T17:19:39Z")
I’m rather fond of Bertucci’s. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/73 "2010-04-29T17:27:06Z")
> [@cckerberos](#): > > No, they’re not that bad. People who say that their local pizza places are so much better are missing the point. No one’s claiming that chain pizza is at all comparable to a top-notch local pizza. It’s fast food. But, at the same time, chain pizza is perfectly edible. I’ve certainly never seen anyone turn down a slice when offered. The problem with this analysis is that a top-notch local pizzeria is still a cheap meal, basically fast food that isn’t awful. It’s not like saying, “I won’t eat at Taco Bell because it’s not as good as Topolobampo.” THAT would be missing the point. Saying, “I won’t pay $8 for a lousy pizza because my local place makes a fantastic pie just as fast for $12” is a perfectly valid point. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/74 "2010-04-29T17:28:19Z")
> [@Martini\_Enfield](#): > > I see a lot of mentions here on the boards about how people can’t stand the pizzas from places like Dominoes or Pizza Hutt, describing them as “tasteless” or “bland” or just “crap”. > > Now, the thing is, it’s trendy on the SDMB to hate (or pretend to hate) the things that normal people like, but I heard the “Chain Pizzas Are Terrible!” thing so often and from so many people I’m wondering if there’s actually any truth to it? I haven’t read the thread (sorry) but I generally dislike most non-chain pizza (it tends to be soggy and bleah most of the time in my experience) while Pizza Hut thin crust (and ONLY thin crust) is among my favorite pizzas ever, and is what I “go for” when I make pizza at home. ---
**Author:** ![FordTaurusSHO94](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f07891/32.png) [@FordTaurusSHO94](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FordTaurusSHO94)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/75 "2010-04-29T17:31:34Z")
The last few times I’ve gone into Pizza Hut, it seems like prices have dropped a lot. I remember 5 years ago a stuffed crust was close to $20. I think I paid $11.xx for one the other day. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/76 "2010-04-29T17:49:53Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > There is no more Pizzaria Uno – it is now called Uno Chicago Grill, and they have repositioned themselves into a mid-level chain restaurant that no longer really emphasizes their pizza. [This (note: the link is to a 4meg pdf file) is their menu](http://www.unos.com/docs/FallMenu09.pdf), and you don’t see a pizza until you get to page 9 (of 11 total pages). There _is_ still a Pizzeria Uno (and a Pizzeria Due) if you’re in Chicago; the original 2 restaurants are still here. They licensed out the name and concept to the Uno Chicago Grill folks years ago, and that’s what the rest of the world has. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/77 "2010-04-29T17:54:39Z")
Being a local place with an italian name is absolutely NO guarantee of being any good, or in this case, of actually having Pizza. When I was married, there was a local place with a very Italian name, a hole in the wall neighborhood place. You never saw them delivering anything anywhere. When I’d drive by, there’d be 2-3 gangbangers, trying to look as tough as possible, behind the counter. Have to admit that I never saw anyone other than a gangbanger stroll into the place either. Always assumed it was just a front for drug dealing. Probably some great “oregano” on that pizza. ---
**Author:** ![Southern\_Yankee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/southern_yankee/32/2800_2.png) [@Southern\_Yankee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Southern_Yankee)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/78 "2010-04-29T17:57:41Z")
To the OP: Yes. ---
**Author:** ![obfusciatrist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4af34b/32.png) [@obfusciatrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/obfusciatrist)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/79 "2010-04-29T17:59:18Z")
> [@MTCicero](#): > > Maybe because that’s pizza in its purest form? I agree. When I’m getting a pizza from a place I suspect I might frequent I’ll often start with a cheese pizza. If that isn’t great then odds are good that everything else will be worse. Just as an added data point the second worst pizza I’ve ever had (nothing will ever beat the dorm cafeteria 2am pizzas) was a place in Rome. It would have made the makers of Red Baron frozen pizzas feel superior. ---
**Author:** ![mack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b19c9b/32.png) [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2010, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704/80 "2010-04-29T18:49:23Z")
> [@flodnak](#): > > If you’re ever in Troll Country and discover a need for pizza, know this: A fresh, hot Dolly Dimple’s pizza is sublime (except once in a while when it’s inexplicably awful, but it’s usually sublime), but after about ten minutes out of the oven something bad happens to it that can’t be repaired by reheating - so don’t get it delivered, or try it as take-out. I find this is the case with most chain pizza. Tastes fine fresh out of the oven but once it starts cooling it gets nasty. I spent a summer delivering for Domino’s in Colorado in the '80s and gleefully chowed down on mistakes or pies the manager would make for us. I grew up in NJ and live in NYC and have been in my share of mediocre to crappy little Italian pizza joints but good ones are awesome and plentiful. One thing chains have never been able to do well is the crust. A good pizza has a crust that’s as good as an excellent piece of bread. The chains seem to treat it as an afterthought. [QUOTE=MTCicero] Maybe because that’s pizza in its purest form? [/QUOTE] It is to me. Just crust, sauce, and cheese! My standard order is 2 cheese slices or maybe a cheese slice and a pepperoni slice. Too much else interferes with the essence. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chain-pizzas-in-the-us-really-that-bad/537704.md?page=5)