# Are Chimpanzees human? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 22, 2015, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321 "2015-04-22T22:58:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Lorene89095](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lorene89095](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lorene89095)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/1 "2015-04-22T22:58:00Z")
A judge in New York State has declared 2 Chimpanzees to have human rights. To me,this is opening up a whole huge can of worms… Do they now have to pay taxes? Get a room?? ---
**Author:** ![DinoR](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dinor/32/2821_2.png) [@DinoR](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DinoR)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/2 "2015-04-22T23:08:40Z")
> [@Lorene89095](#): > > A judge in New York State has declared 2 Chimpanzees to have human rights. [Not exactly](http://www.nytimes.com/2015/04/22/nyregion/judge-orders-hearing-for-2-chimps-said-to-be-unlawfully-detained.html?_r=0) although it does leave open that possibility after the case is completed. > [@](#): > > “All this does is allow the parties to argue their case in court,” said David Bookstaver, a spokesman for the New York State court system. We don’t need to have a society wide debate about the appropriateness of public masturbation and poop flinging quite yet. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/3 "2015-04-22T23:14:07Z")
In case anyone was wondering, no, chimpanzees are not human. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/4 "2015-04-22T23:17:10Z")
> [@Lorene89095](#): > > A judge in New York State has declared 2 Chimpanzees to have human rights. > To me,this is opening up a whole huge can of worms… Do they now have to pay taxes? Get a room?? If they are earning income, then I sure do want them to pay their share of taxes. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/5 "2015-04-22T23:18:24Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > In case anyone was wondering, no, chimpanzees are not human. Then explain [this](http://schmoesknow.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/planet-of-the-apes-ending1.jpg). ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/6 "2015-04-22T23:19:42Z")
> [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Then explain [this](http://schmoesknow.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/planet-of-the-apes-ending1.jpg). You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/7 "2015-04-22T23:23:10Z")
[That brings back memories.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=37864) ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/8 "2015-04-22T23:26:43Z")
I was thinking more of [this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD516OENN7s). “Oh, shit. There goes the planet!” ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/9 "2015-04-23T00:56:57Z")
> [@DinoR](#): > > We don’t need to have a society wide debate about the appropriateness of public masturbation and poop flinging quite yet. Well, they better not wait too much longer! (And please pass me the hand sanitizer when you get the chance) ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/10 "2015-04-23T05:24:31Z")
> [@Lorene89095](#): > > A judge in New York State has declared 2 Chimpanzees to have human rights. > To me,this is opening up a whole huge can of worms… Do they now have to pay taxes? Get a room?? And can they make large anonymous donations to political campaigns and candidates? ---
**Author:** ![Kinthalis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kinthalis/32/16084_2.png) [@Kinthalis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kinthalis)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/11 "2015-04-23T19:01:58Z")
> [@Procrustus](#): > > If they are earning income, then I sure do want them to pay their share of taxes. Taxation without representation. Get your damn dirty human hands off me! ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/12 "2015-04-23T19:09:50Z")
Chimpanzees must be getting rights already if we’re capitalizing the word “Chimpanzee.” ---
**Author:** ![G0sp3l](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c68b51/32.png) [@G0sp3l](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/G0sp3l)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/13 "2015-04-23T21:04:40Z")
Chimps already rape, wage war, self medicate, take selfies and now make tools. Once they figure out fire, we’ve had it. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2015, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/14 "2015-04-23T22:28:13Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > In case anyone was wondering, no, chimpanzees are not human. Well, what about [humanzees](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Humanzee)? ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2015, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-chimpanzees-human/718321/15 "2015-04-24T02:46:51Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > In case anyone was wondering, no, chimpanzees are not human. Hey! How about a spoiler tag over there! Some of us haven’t read the literature yet.