# Are clams really happy??? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 20, 2009, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270 "2009-11-20T08:57:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![heavybuhbuh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@heavybuhbuh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/heavybuhbuh)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/1 "2009-11-20T08:57:24Z")
Are clams really happy??? ---
**Author:** ![Jamicat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jamicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamicat)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/2 "2009-11-20T09:15:18Z")
Is linguine happy? ---
**Author:** ![Elyanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b5ac83/32.png) [@Elyanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elyanna)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/3 "2009-11-20T10:06:35Z")
No, of course not. They are in miserable, excruciating pain every day of their short lives. You could hear them scream except their voices are far out of our hearing range. Eating them does them a favor, really. Seabirds are their gods because they relieve them of this horrid mortal coil. Any questions? ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/4 "2009-11-20T10:20:20Z")
> **['As happy as a clam' - the meaning and origin of this phrase](https://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/as-happy-as-a-clam.html)** > > The meaning and origin of the phrase 'As happy as a clam'. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/5 "2009-11-20T12:27:01Z")
Happy? They live in the mud, they eat fish shit, and it takes a year to move a frakkin’ inch. Why wouldn’t they be happy? ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/6 "2009-11-20T13:06:44Z")
they are, but not as happy as Larry. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/7 "2009-11-20T13:25:27Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > they are, but not as happy as Larry. Pssst. Larry’s a clam. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/8 "2009-11-20T13:34:14Z")
Moved from General Questions to Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share. **Gfactor** General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/9 "2009-11-20T13:58:00Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Pssst. Larry’s a clam. Nahh - he just doesn’t talk very much. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/10 "2009-11-20T14:35:27Z")
> [@jjimm](#): > > Pssst. Larry’s a clam. Happy as a mud lark, and nearly as cute as a bug. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/11 "2009-11-20T19:44:18Z")
> [@Larry\_Mudd](#): > > Happy as a mud lark, and nearly as cute as a bug. But is he a pig in shit? ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/12 "2009-11-20T19:47:33Z")
I’m sure as bivalves go clam are pretty happy, unless a starfish happens by. ---
**Author:** ![gonzomax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e8c25b/32.png) [@gonzomax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gonzomax)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/13 "2009-11-20T19:49:53Z")
They never complain. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/14 "2009-11-20T20:13:34Z")
I know of a particular type of clam that makes ME happy. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/15 "2009-11-20T20:42:44Z")
Quick! Somebody make a dirty joke. ---
**Author:** ![palindromemordnilap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/db5fbb/32.png) [@palindromemordnilap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/palindromemordnilap)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/16 "2009-11-20T20:45:39Z")
According to a study conducted by SIMU\*, the percentage of clams that require anti-depressant medication is vanishingly small. \*shit I made up ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/17 "2009-11-20T21:07:33Z")
> [@Shakes](#): > > I know of a particular type of clam that makes ME happy. Quahog? Littleneck? Cherrystone ? Pismo ? Butter? Longneck? Manila? Razor? Geoduck? East Coast hard-shell? Mahogany? Surf? Hokkigai? Pacific littleneck? Venus? Soft shelled? Steamer? Ipswitch? Ark? Nut? Trough? File? Giant? Peppery Furrow shell? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/18 "2009-11-20T21:21:01Z")
Hmm. Maybe a giant clam would make him happy. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/19 "2009-11-20T22:09:40Z")
> [@palindromemordnilap](#): > > According to a study conducted by SIMU\*, the percentage of clams that require anti-depressant medication is vanishingly small. However, Prozac, Luvox, and Paxil [all increase reproductive activity in clams.](http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-20212410.html) Sounds like happiness to me. ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2009, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270/20 "2009-11-20T22:31:28Z")
> [@Enderw24](#): > > Quahog? Littleneck? Cherrystone ? Pismo ? Butter? Longneck? **Manila**? Razor? Geoduck? East Coast hard-shell? Mahogany? Surf? Hokkigai? Pacific littleneck? Venus? Soft shelled? Steamer? Ipswitch? Ark? Nut? Trough? File? Giant? Peppery Furrow shell? Who me? hey am always happy… and if am not smiling on the outside then for sure am smiling on the inside 🙂 now if we talking bearded clams… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-clams-really-happy/518270.md?page=2)