# Are flowers after a first date too soon? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 17, 2003, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980 "2003-03-17T13:20:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2014, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/41 "2014-11-23T13:25:23Z")
Yes, send the flowers. In fact, do anything legal you want to do. If you’re a guy that wants to send flowers, why pretend otherwise? Concocting a personality based on what you think someone else wants will backfire and, at best, you will be forced to live this lie or disappoint the other person for the remainder of the relationship, so why not just be yourself from the beginning and save yourself the trouble? If she is turned off by you making the decisions that seem right to you, getting more involved with her is likely a mistake for you both. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2014, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/42 "2014-11-23T16:35:30Z")
Are you dating her or burying her? Garlic might be the preferred herb to use in the latter case. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2014, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/43 "2014-11-23T16:36:56Z")
OK, you can send flowers now, **flyboy**. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![flyboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@flyboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flyboy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2014, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/44 "2014-11-23T17:49:43Z")
Holy crap, is this a zombie. For the record, I have no clue whether I sent flowers. I’m pretty sure I did, because the girl in question, who is now my very happy wife (with three happy kids between us), likes to poke me to this day about how she had to haul her big arrangement of flowers around her work campus and how embarrassing it was. My guess is that those flowers were the result of this thread. So, the flowers worked! If the two people in question are a good match, then it won’t scare her away. So if it does scare her away, she’s not a good prospect. At least, that’s the way I see it. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2014, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/45 "2014-11-23T17:59:08Z")
> [@flyboy](#): > > Holy crap, is this a zombie. For the record, I have no clue whether I sent flowers. I’m pretty sure I did, because the girl in question, who is now my very happy wife (with three happy kids between us), likes to poke me to this day about how she had to haul her big arrangement of flowers around her work campus and how embarrassing it was. My guess is that those flowers were the result of this thread. > > So, the flowers worked! If the two people in question are a good match, then it won’t scare her away. So if it does scare her away, she’s not a good prospect. At least, that’s the way I see it. Congrats! What a great story. You should 1) sell it to Lifetime Network, 2) claim it happened at Christmas and 3) Profit!! ETA: May I suggest you go our and buy your wife some flowers today? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2014, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/46 "2014-11-23T18:32:25Z")
> [@flyboy](#): > > the girl in question, who is now my very happy wife (with three happy kids between us), That is so cool. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2014, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/47 "2014-11-23T18:53:48Z")
Welcome to the boards **djsteve.** With flowers you can’t go wrong. Send flowers, a modest bouquet perhaps. From a gal that would have adored getting flowers.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2014, 9:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/48 "2014-11-23T21:31:58Z")
Ha! That’s fantastic! What a lovely update. If anybody ever complains about zombie threads again, I’m pointing them here. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2014, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/49 "2014-11-23T21:39:48Z")
> [@flyboy](#): > > Holy crap, is this a zombie. For the record, I have no clue whether I sent flowers. I’m pretty sure I did, because the girl in question, who is now my very happy wife (with three happy kids between us), likes to poke me to this day about how she had to haul her big arrangement of flowers around her work campus and how embarrassing it was. My guess is that those flowers were the result of this thread. > > So, the flowers worked! If the two people in question are a good match, then it won’t scare her away. So if it does scare her away, she’s not a good prospect. At least, that’s the way I see it. That’s absolutely adorable. ---
**Author:** ![Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/do_not_taunt/32/2968_2.png) [@Do\_Not\_Taunt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Do_Not_Taunt)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2014, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/50 "2014-11-24T23:03:16Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > ETA: May I suggest you go our and buy your wife some flowers today? 😉 Somehow I read this as, “buy **our** wife some flowers today” as if, by participating in this thread, the SDMB had also successfully wooed and married her. ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2014, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/51 "2014-11-24T23:27:20Z")
> [@Do\_Not\_Taunt](#): > > Somehow I read this as, “buy **our** wife some flowers today” as if, by participating in this thread, the SDMB had also successfully wooed and married her. It takes a village… ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2014, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/52 "2014-11-24T23:37:29Z")
> [@djsteve](#): > > I do not want to scare her away but want to let her know she is special. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Wait 11 years like **flyboy** did. Seemed to work out pretty well. ---
**Author:** ![flyboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4da419/32.png) [@flyboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flyboy)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2014, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980/53 "2014-11-24T23:47:25Z")
Thanks, everyone, for the nice thoughts. The lady in question is actually a lurker here– **cubester** is her name. > [@Typo\_Negative](#): > > Wait 11 years like **flyboy** did. Seemed to work out pretty well. I probably waited a day or two before ordering the flowers–I waited 11 years to tell everyone how it turned out. I don’t recommend waiting that long to send flowers! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-flowers-after-a-first-date-too-soon/161980.md?page=2)