Wait, it isn’t? Then what have I been putting levels in all these years?! 
How so?
Jogging is a hobby? Really?
It’s about what you see as a realistic possibility.
You and I probably know some programmers. We have some idea of what sort of education a programmer needs. We can roughly outline the career arc. It makes sense to us, and thus seems like a valid possibility. But if the only programmers you ever see are men of a different race driving the kinds of cars nobody you know drives, and you can’t think of anyone who has ever become one, it’s less likely to seem occur to you that you, too, can become a programmer. And even if the idea does occur to you, you probably won’t know where to start. It’d be like trying to get into curling in Florida- maybe it can be done, but most people wouldn’t even have the idea, and it’d take some work to find the resources you’d need, and chances are you’d just end up doing whatever sports are popular in Florida.
Or picture this. We all know that plumbers can make a lot of money, even into six figures. But if the son of a middle class family says “I think I want to become a plumber,” how likely is he to find support? I think a lot of families wouldn’t even know where to begin, and would automatically try to steer him towards a more white collar job that makes more sense to them and fits the “path to success” that they are more familiar with.
People don’t tend to do what they’ve never seen, what they don’t know much about, and what the people around them don’t support. Sometimes this has to do with class. I mean, objectively golf can be played for a reasonable price- you can pick up clubs at the thrift store and play during off-times on public courses. But it’s hard to deny that golf is a sport that has class implications.
Is that so weird? I work out at the gym/run and I’d consider it a hobby.
A hobby to me denotes something that’s ultimately trivial. Regular exercise doesn’t strike me as a trivial endeavor. It’s something everyone should be doing, all the time, to live longer and healthier lives. (Says the guy who hasn’t been to the gym in nine months…) It’s like… I dunno. Hygiene, maybe. I love long, hot showers, but I wouldn’t call bathing a hobby. Taking care of your body seems like it should fall under “essential tasks,” not “ways to waste time.”
Also, just because I can:
This wiki entry on curling associations broken down by state lists three different curling clubs in Florida. Took me less than one minute to find. 
“Affirmative Action.” Preferences given to candidates of certain minorities to make up for societal prejudices. Seems really fair that even though all my ancestors 3-4 generations ago lived in Poland I get discriminated against because the rest of society currently happens to unconsciously favor people of my color and ethnic last name. That my ancestors might have been just as discriminated against when they arrived as immigrants that didn’t know the language and had unpronounceable names is apparently not relevant, because their skin was the right color.
Unfortunately, there is unconscious prejudice against people with stereotypical Latino or Black names, and even more against people with non-Nordic skin tones. But how exactly do you calculate how much you need to use reverse discrimination? You think maybe by telling people you’re being discriminated against and so they’re going to arbitrarily attempt to “level the playing field” you’re making them feel sorrier and that they’re ways are going to change?
I’m reminded of a story about a school somewhere that was giving awards to “African-Americans” that refused to believe that someone that was white could be African-American. They weren’t an Arab either, they were descended from whites who had immigrated to South Africa long enough ago for their families to no longer feel connected to their European homeland. That her ancestors identified their cultural heritage as being South African was not relevant, because in their attempt to be politically correct, they didn’t state that when they said “African-American” they meant “black”.
Florida might be a bad example because there is a significant northern population there, along with a more urban environment to accumulate the density of people interested in a cold weather sport where the temperature never goes below 60 F. I’m not surprised that there’s exactly one in Georgia (in Atlanta), and none in Arkansas, Mississippi, or Alabama.
There are a lot of Caucasian/white folks around here who are strongly anti-intellectual. Very strongly. They don’t want their tax dollars to support anything more than the very basics in school, and of course the basics include sports, but don’t include arts and music.
On the other hand, my father is first generation Sicilian-American, and he and his family have ALWAYS made sure that there were books around the house (even if they were library books) and my cousins on my father’s side and my sibs and I were always told that education was important. Now, I caught a lot of shit because I enjoyed reading science fiction and fantasy, but that was because I was a girl. Had I been a boy, it would have been OK. Or at least, not as unacceptable.
My husband’s family, who are almost completely anti-intellectual, devote endless hours watching sports on TV. And they discuss the finer points of every vehicle on the market. These activities are hobbies for them, and they will make time for these hobbies and interests. None of them are pro sports players, and while some of them can tinker with cars, most of them don’t get any benefits from their esoteric knowledge of cars and trucks.
My husband is regarded as something of a freak, because he saw that the way to get out of the this socio-economic trap was to enlist in the military and take advantage of the training that was offered. And he made sure to encourage our daughter to study hard, and get her bachelor’s degree. And he let her know that we’d support her if she wanted to go for her master’s. HIS parents thought that a high school diploma was generally more than enough for any person to have.
This is basically what I was referring to; although I’d have referred to “alleged or perceived societal prejudices” myself.
slow clap
I live in the curling capital of America (or one of them) and curling is - more than RPG - obscure.
Its more than you need a curling club, or a hobby/game store, or a gaming convention - to get into a hobby like these you need exposure - preferably a friend who does it an invites you along - barring that - enough of a desire to seek it out and give it a try - and if you can’t find the gaming store with tables that might help you find a group to get started or a curling club - you’ll need some friends wanting to try with you, some equipment and some written rules (and in the case of curling in Alabama, somewhere with an ice rink - and that might be hard).
Few people drive by the St. Paul Curling Club, stop in, see what’s up and become curlers. Some people drop into the Source not knowing what it is - many flee in terror.
It sounds to me like the fiancee is way overgeneralizing from her own experience. The notion that jogging is popular among the poor runs counter to everything I’ve ever learned, and as for cooking, that contradicts what we all know about the availability of groceries and the consumption of fast food in low-income areas. Perhaps the fiancee is failing to recognize her own level of privilege.
I also think a lot more low-income people are playing video games than she realizes. There have been studies (pdf) showing that “low-income (earning $30,000 or less per year) families are equally as likely to own video game equipment as higher income families.” Another found that “Ninety-seven percent of young respondents play video games … 99 percent of boys and 94 percent of girls, with little difference in the percentages among various racial and ethnic groups and incomes.” More recent reviews have found that console video game ownership is higher among low-income families than those with higher incomes.
I think you have to define it a little more finely than just “Gaming.” In common usage, that could mean casino gaming and games of chance, video gaming, or role playing/tabletop games.
I’m pretty sure that video gaming isn’t the exclusive domain of white folks, or even well off white folks. The number of people with ethnic gamer tags and/or what you’d think are “ethnic” accents and speech are pretty high, at least on xbox live. I don’t know about PC gaming; I never got into using Ventrilo or anything like that before I shifted to consoles.
As far as tabletop gaming / RPG gaming goes, I don’t think it’s a matter of privilege. I think it’s a matter of common interests. By that, I mean that at least in my experience, we played those sorts of games, because we were all somewhat nerdy, and were encouraged to do more intellectual things by our folks and by each other. I suspect that the anti-intellectual attitude I’ve seen among many (most?) of the working class people, white or not, would tend to work against role playing / tabletop games more than any sort of lack of privilege.
I thought you were Australian? Are affirmative action type policies in place there or do you live elsewhere? Have you not gained a job because someone less qualified was hired in your stead to fill a quota? Anyway, I’m not too keen on education/employment quotas myself but often they’re the least worst option imho to combat ingrained institutional bias against groups of people.
Damn right it’s not relevant now. I hear that a lot, “boo hoo my ancestors had a shitty time of it too”. Well everybody’s did, if you go back far enough. It just so happens that in recent American history, black people had a particularly shitty time of it. Well into living memory they were actively discriminated against by the apparatus of state.
Off the OP but (somewhat) relevant to this tangent… I was working with a couple of young women a few years back who were of similar age and in the same role at work, and good friends of each other… anyway… one was a pale and striking redhead, the other dainty and clearly of Asian descent. One had emigrated to NZ quite recently and had a foreign accent, the other was born here and was Kiwi-as. Want to take a punt on which one most people assumed was the recent immigrant? 
There are many “Diversity” policies in place (formally and informally) with large companies and Government departments here, especially with regards to Aboriginal/Torres Strait Islanders, Women, and People With Disabilities.
I don’t for a moment argue that they shouldn’t make up a greater percentage of the workforce; I just don’t think Diversity “quotas” are necessarily the way to do it.
Not that I could legally prove, and I don’t know if I’d go quite so far as to say it was “to fill a quota”, and for obvious reasons I’m not going to go into details, but it’s my belief this has been the case with at least one job I have applied for in the past.
I definitely don’t think privilege when I think of nerdy pursuits.
Does anyone mind if I drag this thread back on topic?
My brother is a gamer, and has been since we were kids and my folks bought our first NES console, but I would hardly say we had a privileged upbringing. We were immigrants, and both my parents worked hard to feed and raise five children, and occasionally give us fancy stuff like the NES. When the Power Glove attachment came out, my brother begged for months and offered to do all kinds of chores, and ended up getting it for Christmas. Later, when he was old enough to get an after-school job, that money went toward video games as well as tabletop RPGs, and for years afterward spent a good chunk of his disposable income on games, but he never quit working or let anyone but himself support his hobby. He used to be part of a WoW guild, but quit shortly before his son was born. I think he still has his Xbox, but spends far more time with my nephew than playing video games, as far as I know.
I think it’s mostly all been said.
Sorry. Bargain shopping and cooking aren’t hobbies, they’re life skills. I clean house, too, but wouldn’t call it a hobby. And I wouldn’t even if I got good at it and injected it with joy. If it’s practical, it isn’t a hobby.
That just about says it. And as others have mentioned, having parents who valued education helps a lot.
There is an argument to be made that any kind of hobby takes time away from practical things. You can say that it’s useful as stress relief. But if, as a couple, you have the time and the resources, then you don’t really need to make an excuse for doing something you like.
Could your financee be feeling a little defensive because you’re talking about “sharing hobbies” as if everyone must have some, when she’s never considered developing a hobby but has focused on, let’s call it living well or building a good life?