# Are hippos the most dangerous animal? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [December 6, 2000, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331 "2000-12-06T17:41:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/21 "2000-12-14T06:11:49Z")
For some reason, Cecil gets tons of emails asking who would win in a contest between a polar bear and a grizzly bear… a tiger and a (some-other-snarly-beast). I have no idea why they want to know. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/22 "2000-12-14T19:24:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\*For some reason, Cecil gets tons of emails asking who would win in a contest between a polar bear and a grizzly bear… a tiger and a (some-other-snarly-beast). I have no idea why they want to know. \*\* Frankly, **Jill** , it’s because I want to know whether the guard-hippo I have in my moat is going to be able to keep out the junkyard rhinos that prowl the neighborhood. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/23 "2000-12-14T21:54:25Z")
[[Frankly, Jill, it’s because I want to know whether the guard-hippo I have in my moat is going to be able to keep out the junkyard rhinos that prowl the neighborhood]] Do I smell a wager? ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/24 "2000-12-14T22:44:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\*[[Frankly, Jill, it’s because I want to know whether the guard-hippo I have in my moat is going to be able to keep out the junkyard rhinos that prowl the neighborhood]] > > Do I smell a wager? \*\* Are you suggesting that you have a rhino? I’ll put Pinky up against any damn perissodactyl. Name your venue. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [December 14, 2000, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/25 "2000-12-14T23:21:07Z")
[[Are you suggesting that you have a rhino? I’ll put Pinky up against any damn perissodactyl. Name your venue.]] You haven’t had a date in awhile, have you. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/26 "2000-12-15T00:52:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\* > You haven’t had a date in awhile, have you. \*\* Have one tonight, as a matter of fact. We’re going to the tapir races. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/27 "2000-12-15T03:38:46Z")
[[Have one tonight, as a matter of fact. We’re going to the tapir races.]] Let me rephrase that. You haven’t had a _second_ date in awhile, have you. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/28 "2000-12-15T14:44:26Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\*[[Have one tonight, as a matter of fact. We’re going to the tapir races.]] > > Let me rephrase that. You haven’t had a _second_ date in awhile, have you. \*\* Ay, **Jill** , how little you know me. Koko and I have been an item for years. She quite loves the track. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2000, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/29 "2000-12-15T21:54:33Z")
Ewwwwww!! ---
**Author:** ![Erroneous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71c47a/32.png) [@Erroneous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Erroneous)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2000, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/30 "2000-12-16T11:39:31Z")
I was attacked by a hippo on the grounds of Elsamere (Joy Adamson’s old place). Or at least I thought I was being attacked. It turned out that the hippo was actually going for the people in front of me, who had not only come between the mommy hippo and its baby (which was a very cute little thing), but had also stupidly turned their flashlight on all of a sudden. We’d all been told that if we were wandering around the grounds at night, always have our flashlights on. If a hippo sees you coming a long way off it’ll get out of your way, but if you suddenly pop up out of nowhere, it’ll freak out and try to swallow you. Which is what happened to the two women in the group. Luckily, the hippo didn’t succeed in swallowing them. One of the women ran straight for a jeep and hid under it, and the other one turned off her light and ran between a tree and a stone wall, which was a designated “hippo-safe area.” It was all very exciting. After that night, everyone in the group was very careful about wandering around at night, and they always asked one of the armed rangers to escort them the 40 feet or so back to their rooms. You are now returned to your regularly scheduled sordid tapir sex tales. ---
**Author:** ![2nd\_Law](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/2/f475e1/32.png) [@2nd\_Law](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2nd_Law)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2000, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/31 "2000-12-17T07:54:03Z")
I’ve heard and just [read](http://www.iglou.com/cintipd/deer.htm) that automobile collisions with deer resulted in 111 fatalities in the United States in 1995, and if I could find more recent information I’d bet the numbers have gone up since then. Of course, the deer are more passive about killing people than hippos (as in they are in the wrong place at the wrong time), but I thought that was an interesting number. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2000, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/32 "2000-12-17T16:18:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Erroneous \* > \*\* > > they always asked one of the armed rangers to escort them the 40 feet or so back to their rooms. > \*\* Who would do what, slap the hippo? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2000, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/33 "2000-12-17T20:47:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\*Ewwwwww!! \*\* Oh, **cool!** I _finally_ managed to gross **Jill** out! It’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to do it. Jill, take it from me, if you want hot monkey love, the best strategy is to find an actual monkey. Koko says she has a brother. You want to be fixed up? ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2000, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/34 "2000-12-17T22:12:22Z")
[[Jill, take it from me, if you want hot monkey love, the best strategy is to find an actual monkey.]] I thought Koko was an _ape_, not a monkey, but it figures you’re apparently not monogamous. ee ee ee aa aa OO! OO! OO! ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2000, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/35 "2000-12-17T22:38:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\*[[Jill, take it from me, if you want hot monkey love, the best strategy is to find an actual monkey.]] > > I thought Koko was an _ape_, not a monkey, but it figures you’re apparently not monogamous. > > ee ee ee aa aa OO! OO! OO! > > \*\* Mono-gamous! Jill, if I didn’t know you better, I’d think you were making a bilingual pun! 😃 It’s never wise to nitpick where sex is involved. Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2000, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/36 "2000-12-17T23:46:26Z")
[[It’s never wise to nitpick where sex is involved.]] Speak for yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2000, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/37 "2000-12-18T19:23:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JillGat \* > \*\*[[It’s never wise to nitpick where sex is involved.]] > > Speak for yourself. \*\* Unless you get crabs, of course. ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2000, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/38 "2000-12-18T22:47:57Z")
carnivorousplant said: > [@](#): > > quote: Originally posted by Erroneous > they always asked one of the armed rangers to escort them the 40 feet or so back to their rooms. > > Who would do what, slap the hippo? No, silly, slap the group member not following instructions. 😉 Colibri said: > [@](#): > > It’s never wise to nitpick where sex is involved. Jillgat said: > [@](#): > > Speak for yourself! I think it’s only fair to be critical of your own choices, not anyone else’s. _All sex is friction, preferrably well-lubed friction and friction with a friend. All else is a matter of taste._ - David Gerrold in one of his _War of the Chtorr_ books. (Not sure where he stole it.) Colibri said: > [@](#): > > Necessity is the mother of strange bedfellows. ROFLMAO! ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Fess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@Big\_Fess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Fess)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2000, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/39 "2000-12-19T02:58:51Z")
If you want to see hippos from the underwater perspective, the Toledo Zoo in Ohio has a nice, new enclosure with glass that allows you to do just that. Saw it about a month ago, along with their new, cute, baby hippo. Check it out. ---
**Author:** ![Big\_Fess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/96bed5/32.png) [@Big\_Fess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Big_Fess)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2000, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331/40 "2000-12-19T04:18:10Z")
In fact, I just checked their web site ([www.toledozoo.org](http://www.toledozoo.org)), and they have a hippo cam. It’s night now, so I don’t know if the view works or not, but the site does have a “best shots” section. I’m not from Toledo, but the zoo’s worth a visit. Listen to the cool song as you enter the site, too. I think it won an Addy or something. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-hippos-the-most-dangerous-animal/44331.md?page=3)