# Are nude animals obscene? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 5, 2006, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383 "2006-04-05T05:58:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![New\_Girl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/46a35a/32.png) [@New\_Girl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/New_Girl)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2006, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/21 "2006-04-05T23:20:04Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Let me just say - you aint seen nothing, until you’ve seen and elephant schlong. “Impressive” just doesn’t do it justice. > (12+ feet people, 12+ FEET!) That’s impossible. Elephants aren’t large enough to have twelve foot long penises. Maybe on the extreme end, but not as the minimum. Cite or prove with graphic picture. ---
**Author:** ![Duke\_of\_Rat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Duke\_of\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke_of_Rat)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2006, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/22 "2006-04-05T23:39:37Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > Because defenseless animals are cute! > > Thanks for the opinions. I don’t actually have a photo of doggie erections. [This](http://i17.photobucket.com/albums/b86/kkobayashi1/2005-08-09-21h13m25.jpg) is as risque’ as my photos get. I don’t find that picture obscene at all. As far as the animal kingdom goes, I was genuinely impressed the first time I saw the set of balls on a squirrel. You’d expect an elephant to have some serious tackle, but them squirrels are packin’ some heat. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2006, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/23 "2006-04-05T23:42:07Z")
To the OP, and all, Nope, it’s a penis. Yee haa! A simple penis. Nothing to get worked up about, ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/24 "2006-04-06T01:10:21Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > At a travelling zoo this summer, we saw a tapir masturbating. It was quite…impressive. Like the ponies mentioned above. This schlong reached from standing tapir belly diagonally to the floor **past his front feet**! Where he kept bouncing it up and down on the straw. It was well over four feet long. According to his red-faced keeper, this is what tapirs do when they’re bored. > > The kids were appropriately awed, but also giggly, screechy little monsters in response. I’ll admit, I tried to play it cool, but I was giggling inside, too. At the zoo where my ex used to volunteer, one of the keepers was approached by an outraged lady visitor. “I **demand** you do something about this,” she said, and dragged the keeper over to the tapir exhibit (for the uninititated, a Malayan tapir looks like [this](http://www.chaffeezoo.org/animals/tapirs.html), and is about the same height as a good-sized pony). She pointed out that the male was sporting an sizeable erection and slinking towards the female in a manner that would definitely be described as frisky. “Um, ma’am,” the keeper said, “that sort of thing happens from time to time with animals.” “It’s disgusting!” the woman replied. “Do something. Make him stop.” “Stop?” “Yes. Can’t you turn a fire hose on him or something?” Trying to keep his cool, the keeper replied, “Ma’am, those animals are an endangered species, and we’ve been trying to get these two to mate for over a year. I’m not about to put a stop to it.” This did nothing to calm the lady down. “I don’t want my son seeing that! I’m reporting you if you don’t do something about it.” “Ma’am,” the keeper said, “report me all you like. And if you don’t want your son to see nature, why’d you take him to the zoo?” ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/25 "2006-04-06T14:17:01Z")
> [@scr4](#): > > Are you sure the mere wasn’t blurred though? I seem to recall it was very slightly blurred/softened. Pretty sure. I was looking for it after the censored stallion, and didn’t see it. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2006, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/26 "2006-04-06T16:18:51Z")
Pepper Mill once told me about a visit to the Great Adventure drive-through animal park in NJ, from the time befor we met. They saw an elephant which must have been coming down from fully erect status, because it was _stepping_ on its penis. It’s hard to be confused about the relative size in that situation. It might not have been 12 feet long, but it was certainly more than long enough. I mean, I hardly ever even _reach_ the ground, myself. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Johnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Mrs\_Johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Johnson)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/27 "2006-04-07T02:22:17Z")
> [@kelly5078](#): > > On “Dirty Jobs” a few weeks ago, they were getting semen from a stallion, and blurred out the penis. It was not only blurred when they were collecting the semen, but even after the horse was let out to run around. > > After that, Mike Rowe proceeded to scrub of a mare’s vulva and insert the semen into her vagina (shoving his whole forearm in, IIRC). Nothing was blurred. > > So I guess it depends. I’m still completely confused as to what it depends on. When I saw the title of the thread, THAT episode came to mind. I even thought about asking on here. Why would they blur the erect penis but not the insertion of the man’s forearm into the mare’s vagina! Both of the actions are not something you’d see in nature. I wonder if they’d blur it if the stallion was inseminating the mare… rather than a collection container. IIRC the mare’s rear end was not blurry at all. ---
**Author:** ![Mrs\_Johnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Mrs\_Johnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mrs_Johnson)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2006, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/28 "2006-04-07T02:24:28Z")
> [@Mrs Johnson](#): > > Both of the actions are not something you’d see in nature. ^ I meant the stallion _with collection container_ and the man’s arm in the mare’s vagina are not something you’d see in nature. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2006, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/29 "2006-04-09T00:56:36Z")
> [@New Girl](#): > > That’s impossible. Elephants aren’t large enough to have twelve foot long penises. Maybe on the extreme end, but not as the minimum. Cite or prove with graphic picture. Oh, sure, you’d _like_ that, wouldn’t you? To answer the OP: only if they’re shaved. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2006, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/30 "2006-04-09T01:22:24Z")
I’m wondering if folks just get more uptight these days about animals having sex where kids can see, or critters playing with their private parts when junior gets an eye-full. I guess if you don’t want your kiddy knowing _anything_ about the birds and the bees, that means no zoos, pets, or natural history documentaries. How bland that would be. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2006, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/31 "2006-04-09T02:40:43Z")
I find it all so silly. Kids, boys at least, aren’t going to get very old without seeing another boy’s penis that a dog’s isn’t anything to freak over. I was a camp counsellor for a couple summers and more than one of those kids would whip it out at the drop of a hat. Trying to corral 15 six-year-olds after swimming to put their pants on and quit playing with themselves was like herding cats. Especailly since we weren’t allowed (nor did we want) to scold any of the boys for it – we weren’t their priests or their mothers. Anywaym what this thread reminds me of – anyone remember those old “E. Buzz Miller’s Wild Kingdom” skits on SNL? Dan Akroyd played Miller, the sleazy talk-show host and Laraine Newman was his airheaded sidekick. They’d show clips of frogs or squirrels doin’ it, clearly broadcast by Miller for purient purpose. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Whifton\_Polekitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/97f17d/32.png) [@Whifton\_Polekitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whifton_Polekitty)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2006, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/32 "2006-04-09T04:54:25Z")
> [@Ice Wolf](#): > > I’m wondering if folks just get more uptight these days about animals having sex where kids can see, or critters playing with their private parts when junior gets an eye-full. I guess if you don’t want your kiddy knowing _anything_ about the birds and the bees, that means no zoos, pets, or natural history documentaries. {looks down by his ankles where his cat is enthusiastically cleaning his balls, what’s left of 'em anyway} Yeah people come equiped with some seriously strange mental filters. And wait, no lookin’ at nookie means NO INTERNET!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!! :eek: > [@](#): > > How bland that would be. Interesting word choice. The cat’s still goin’ at it, so I’d guess pretty damn bland. ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2006, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/33 "2006-04-09T05:38:57Z")
As I only actually said part of what you put in quotation there, you adding the rest in, I’d say _your_ word choice was interesting an’ all, **Whifton\_Polekitty**. ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2006, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/34 "2006-04-09T05:52:59Z")
> [@OneCentStamp](#): > > I can think of one animal that is unquestionably obscene when nude. > > Have you ever been to Chincoteague and Assateague islands? They’re a pair of islands off the coast of Maryland, where I grew up. They’re both long, pencil-thin (less than a mile wide in many places) islands, one nested inside the other; Assateague shields Chincoteague from the surf and wind. > > Anyway, they are home to packs of wild ponies, reputed to be descended from horses that got away from Spanish explorers or something. Centuries of inbreeding, and possibly evolution to suit the harsh environment, have resulted in tiny little shaggy ponies the size of a Great Dane. > > And they have HUGE cocks. Think a mule is proprotioned funny? Think of that times three. I’ve seen Assateague ponies whose flaccid members cleared the ground by less than two inches. I have no idea how they mate; it must give the mare a stomachache to get her organs pushed around like that. > > We used to go to the islands for school field trips and such, and we were always grossed out by the ponies. I have _got_ to see a picture of that. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [April 10, 2006, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383/35 "2006-04-10T17:28:06Z")
> [@Whifton\_Polekitty](#): > > {looks down by his ankles where his cat is enthusiastically cleaning his balls, what’s left of 'em anyway} > > Interesting word choice. The cat’s still goin’ at it, so I’d guess pretty damn bland. Be careful…you don’t want to get charged with possession of kitty porn. [rimshot] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-nude-animals-obscene/351383.md?page=1)