# Are Parents Making a Deal Out of Their Daughters' First Periods These Days? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 21, 2014, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312 "2014-06-21T18:39:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [June 22, 2014, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/21 "2014-06-22T16:20:29Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Did you not catch that the video was supposed to be funny? Or that the girl was mortified at the thought of her mom doing something so strange? Or that her friends and the band members both said this was a really weird party? > > Those are clues. He’s wondering if it’s an example of _hyperbole_, as opposed to outright fabrication. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 5:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/22 "2014-06-23T05:55:20Z")
I have no doubt the card makers and party planners already have some plans for this. They are always looking to find a new holiday or event to make a dollar off of. There was one episode of “Nip/Tuck” where the daughter has a “Princes Menses” party. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/23 "2014-06-23T06:27:37Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > ETA: I know one woman who has bought a ruby necklace and ring set for her daughter and is waiting fro that day to give them to her. She’s very excited at the idea. I think her daughter will barf on her shoes, and never be comfortable wearing the jewelry. Yes, when I was a teenager, I would have felt very embarrassed and angry if my mom had tried to do that to me. To me, that is just as bad as if some overzealous father gave his son some pearl cuff links to celebrate the first time the dad noticed the boy’s bedsheets were crusty with semen. Don’t humiliate the poor kid by turning a private body function into a public spectacle. (For the record, I learned about menstruation from reading health textbooks because I was that type of kid who loves to read and loves to learn. I didn’t want my mom involved in it at all. She didn’t even know about it for months after I had started. When she found out, she wanted to talk about it, but I didn’t want to and shut her down). Just like ejaculation: Yes, it is a normal body function and nothing to be ashamed of, but it’s also not something you want to share with your parents or celebrate in any sort of public manner. ---
**Author:** ![FriarTed](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/friarted/32/1052_2.png) [@FriarTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FriarTed)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/24 "2014-06-23T07:48:29Z")
That video was hilarious. “You’re missing the Vagician!” ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 8:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/25 "2014-06-23T08:04:24Z")
Isn’t a bat-mitzvah basically the same deal? :dubious: I have heard of Period/Coming of Age celebrations for girls, but have never participated in one. My one and only girl child came of age before all this new fangled stuff was invented! But I think it’s a great idea! Instead of girls feeling shame and embarrassment about having their first period, a celebration to welcome this new phase of their life is brilliant! To compare menstruation with ‘nocturnal emissions’ is really shitty, and just adds to the ever present misogyny that pervades our western social life. For fuck’s sake’s…if a girl can’t celebrate her formal admission to womanhood with a bunch of other new-women and older women, what CAN she celebrate? ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 9:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/26 "2014-06-23T09:32:26Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > To compare menstruation with ‘nocturnal emissions’ is really shitty, and just adds to the ever present misogyny that pervades our western social life. Sounds like a firmly held conviction that should require no explanation. But you’re entirely welcome to give one. Resolved: men’s reproductive fluids are on the “shit” side of the bodily waste spectrum, and comparing them to women’s reproductive fluids is misogynist. Now that I’ve tried to turn this thread into yet another Godamn dreary MRA vs Femminism pointless arguments, and I always contend that the main flaw in Feminism is Consumerism, I’ll point out this: how much money was effortlessly being spent on the menarch party? The party itself is weird and sweet and ultimately positive, but why the implication that such things are dependent on disposable income? And what is implied by the line “and then Dad showed up?” Because Dad is as likely as not to not live there. Men and our shitty sperm are disposable too. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/27 "2014-06-23T10:24:15Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Isn’t a bat-mitzvah basically the same deal? :dubious: > > I have heard of Period/Coming of Age celebrations for girls, but have never participated in one. My one and only girl child came of age before all this new fangled stuff was invented! > > But I think it’s a great idea! Instead of girls feeling shame and embarrassment about having their first period, a celebration to welcome this new phase of their life is brilliant! To compare menstruation with ‘nocturnal emissions’ is really shitty, and just adds to the ever present misogyny that pervades our western social life. > > For fuck’s sake’s…if a girl can’t celebrate her formal admission to womanhood with a bunch of other new-women and older women, what CAN she celebrate? If your little girl wants everyone and their mama to know they are know menstrual, by all means throw them the biggest party you can afford. But don’t assume girls are going to want a party. I would have been mortified by one. What’s going on with my vagina is my business, not the community’s. Plus, I was a young 11-year-old when I started. I wasn’t anyone’s “woman”. If my mother had tried to celebrate my womanhood, I would have been grief-stricken because I really liked being a kid. Some girls started as young as nine. At least boys are teenagers when they are due for their bar mitzvahs. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 11:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/28 "2014-06-23T11:57:08Z")
> [@johnpost](#): > > it’s a big deal and the family should paint the town red. I thought the entire point of feminine hygiene products was to _avoid_ painting the town red. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/29 "2014-06-23T12:37:16Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > But I think it’s a great idea! Instead of girls feeling shame and embarrassment about having their first period, a celebration to welcome this new phase of their life is brilliant! To compare menstruation with ‘nocturnal emissions’ is really shitty, and just adds to the ever present misogyny that pervades our western social life. > > For fuck’s sake’s…if a girl can’t celebrate her formal admission to womanhood with a bunch of other new-women and older women, what CAN she celebrate? How is celebrating one milestone associated with bodily fluids any different from celebrating another? Personally seems weird to me to celebrate something you didn’t actually do… ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/30 "2014-06-23T13:21:35Z")
> [@lavenderviolet](#): > > Yes, when I was a teenager, I would have felt very embarrassed and angry if my mom had tried to do that to me. To me, that is just as bad as if some overzealous father gave his son some pearl cuff links to celebrate the first time the dad noticed the boy’s bedsheets were crusty with semen. Don’t humiliate the poor kid by turning a private body function into a public spectacle. > > . . . It’s a milestone, and I do feel it should be recognized - PRIVATELY!! I just thought rubies were a bit too literal to be appreciated by the child. (Pearls - great comparison! LOL! ::retch:: )) ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/31 "2014-06-23T13:34:02Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > ETA: I know one woman who has bought a ruby necklace and ring set for her daughter and is waiting fro that day to give them to her. She’s very excited at the idea. I think her daughter will barf on her shoes, and never be comfortable wearing the jewelry. Is she going to be an equal opportunity parent and buy some pearl cufflinks to be given to her son some day? ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/32 "2014-06-23T14:29:56Z")
We didn’t have a party when I got my period, but my mom was able to share in my excitement and that was really nice. I hated being a child–I wanted to be an adult ASAP. I was really excited when I got my first period, even though my mom told me I’d hate it. And not that I liked it, but I saw it as evidence that my body was finally maturing and I’d be able to get out of their house and start my own life eventually. ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/33 "2014-06-23T14:42:14Z")
That commercial hit me really wrong and I don’t think it’s funny at all. Even the title “girl fakes her period and gets what she deserves” Aaa why so much shame? Why is that mom so mean about the faking her period? Why does she care? It’s not even like the daughter was trying to trick HER about having her period, she found the maxipad in the trash and brought it out to ask her daughter about …AAAAAAAA! It’s like instead of purging the historical shame around menstruation they’re just repackaging the shame to get laughs and sell a period starter kit. Blechh! And yes, I do know people who would celebrate their daughter’s period with her, but not in some mean ambushey unexpected way. I prefer the well-informed, expected almost non-event of my first period, I was lucky! ---
**Author:** ![HeyHomie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heyhomie/32/207_2.png) [@HeyHomie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HeyHomie)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/34 "2014-06-23T14:51:58Z")
> [@carlotta](#): > > That commercial hit me really wrong and I don’t think it’s funny at all. Even the title “girl fakes her period and gets what she deserves” > > Aaa why so much shame? Why is that mom so mean about the faking her period? Why does she care? It’s not even like the daughter was trying to trick HER about having her period, she found the maxipad in the trash and brought it out to ask her daughter about …AAAAAAAA! > > It’s like instead of purging the historical shame around menstruation they’re just repackaging the shame to get laughs and sell a period starter kit. Blechh! > And yes, I do know people who would celebrate their daughter’s period with her, but not in some mean ambushey unexpected way. > > I prefer the well-informed, expected almost non-event of my first period, I was lucky! Well, I (a male with no kids) took that the mom was mostly upset with the daughter’s _tone_ (0:23-0:26). Mrs. Homie would never brook that kind of tone from _our_ hypothetical daughter. In my mind, the mom was probably willing to have a rational, calm conversation with her about patience, nature being unpredictable, blah blah blah. But instead the little lass got _snippy_. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/35 "2014-06-23T14:52:39Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > I once saw a book on the subject of sex ed for children – one of those books that tries to teach parents how to teach their kids about “that” subject, as appropriate for various young ages. > > The author told an anecdote that she had heard from a young adult female, who told of her experience with her first period. I’ll recount this as best I can remember reading it: > > I remember my first period. I was at the beach with my family, and I noticed I was bleeding. I knew nothing about periods, and I thought I must have cut myself or something. I ran to my parents crying that I was bleeding. I will never forget the look of disgust that came over my mother’s face. She tossed a dirty towel to me and said, “Here. Stuff this up there and don’t _ever_ talk to me about that again!” > > Attitude is everything. A dirty towel? A mom was disgusted? Because her kid got her period? I don’t believe one word of that story. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/36 "2014-06-23T15:07:29Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Isn’t a bat-mitzvah basically the same deal? :dubious: > > I have heard of Period/Coming of Age celebrations for girls, but have never participated in one. My one and only girl child came of age before all this new fangled stuff was invented! > > But I think it’s a great idea! Instead of girls feeling shame and embarrassment about having their first period, a celebration to welcome this new phase of their life is brilliant! To compare menstruation with ‘nocturnal emissions’ is really shitty, and just adds to the ever present misogyny that pervades our western social life. > > For fuck’s sake’s…if a girl can’t celebrate her formal admission to womanhood with a bunch of other new-women and older women, what CAN she celebrate? Most Jews I know that have had a bar or bat mitzvah studied their religion and learned to at least recite a section of the Torah in Hebrew and many left Hebrew school with far greater comprehension than that. A bat mitzvah celebrates something a girl has accomplished. Menustration isn’t an accomplishment. It’s a biological process that accompanies sexual maturity (like nocturnal emissions). Profoundly mentally disabled women and woman in comas menustrate. If menustration is a girl’s formal admission into womanhood, do you believe women who never have periods are not women? ---
**Author:** ![carlotta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/898d66/32.png) [@carlotta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlotta)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/37 "2014-06-23T15:09:12Z")
> [@HeyHomie](#): > > Well, I (a male with no kids) took that the mom was mostly upset with the daughter’s _tone_ (0:23-0:26). Mrs. Homie would never brook that kind of tone from _our_ hypothetical daughter. In my mind, the mom was probably willing to have a rational, calm conversation with her about patience, nature being unpredictable, blah blah blah. But instead the little lass got _snippy_. Well there wouldn’t have been an occasion for a tone if the mom hadn’t FISHED A MAXIPAD OUT OF THE GARBAGE LIKE ONLY A CRAZY PERSON WOULD DO. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/38 "2014-06-23T15:13:31Z")
> [@Dogzilla](#): > > A dirty towel? A mom was disgusted? Because her kid got her period? > > I don’t believe one word of that story. Really? What’s so unbelievable about a parent being a jerk to their child? ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/39 "2014-06-23T15:34:13Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Really? What’s so unbelievable about a parent being a jerk to their child? It’s very difficult to me to believe that a mom would give a child a dirty towel rather than a pad or a tampon. And it’s also difficult to believe that a mother would be disgusted about a biological function that she knows is going to happen in her daughter. It’s not difficult to believe a parent could be a jerk about it. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2014, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312/40 "2014-06-23T15:35:44Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > Is she going to be an equal opportunity parent and buy some pearl cufflinks to be given to her son some day? Like the first time he gives a girl a ‘pearl necklace’? 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/are-parents-making-a-deal-out-of-their-daughters-first-periods-these-days/691312.md?page=3)